


|komm, lass uns lieben; bello, ciao.|

by moonkissed_norwegian



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blood and Gore, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gore, Graphic Description, Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney Spoilers, Hetalia, M/M, Married Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright, Romance, Soulmates, Wow this fanfic is getting so self-indulgent, Yandere, Yandere Sans (Undertale), You get the chance to beat up Classic! Sans, ace attorney - Freeform, for god's sakes sans that's not edible, i cannot believe i have peenix rite and aph america in the same fic as sans undertale, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2020-07-12 17:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 88,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19949995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonkissed_norwegian/pseuds/moonkissed_norwegian
Summary: While doing some illegal drugs with a friend, you accidentally trap yourself in one of Papyrus's puzzles. He gets you down and brings you to his home, deeming it unsafe for you to go alone. You meet his brother and eat some welcoming spaghetti. It's one hell of a night and you're pretty sure something fishy is going on, so you keep visiting the set of brothers until you're able to find out. This ends up with you bonding with two socially awkward and touch-starved skeletons and beating up another skeleton.





	1. nach links; nach rechts

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Please, this story mainly focuses on Horrortale - a very messed up AU. This means there will be the occasional PTSD attack or small, violent episodes; if you are queasy with these sort of things or they make you uncomfortable, please do not continue. Also, we beat up Classic! Sans. If you're a huge fan of him and that might upset you, this story might not be for you. If you're a fan of literally any of the AUs mentioned besides Horrortale and don't like the idea of having to call them out on their cruel punishment of the Horrortale Brothers, then this might also not be the story for you. There is an eventual friendship with them, but the reader is very upset at the living conditions of the Horrortale Brothers and kind of wants to beat their 'landlord' up.

Goddamnit, this was definitely not how the night of your life was supposed to go. 

You struggled against the ropes of the net, trying to figure out if there was a possible way to loosen the knot up at the top that held the four corners together. Creaking and swinging around haphazardly while grunting and kicking your legs at the net, you realized it was pointless. Even without the help of the twirling net, everything was spinning and you couldn't pick out what was real and what wasn't. 

Emitting a groan, you flopped back into the net and let the world around you continue to change. You didn't even think you had walked this far away from your friend, but apparently, the forest was deeper than it seemed. Also, the packet of magic mushrooms that you ate _really_ destroyed your sober perception of all the things around you. Damn, you still needed to use the restroom badly. Hopefully, your friend heard your pained scream, the shout of 'help!' mixed in with his name plus the struggling and was on his way. If not, you would totally beat him up tomorrow if you survived the night and the number of drugs in your system.

Wait, speaking of surviving the night- Why the hell was there a net in the woods set up here like a trap like in all of the movies? Hold on, did this actually mean you won't survive the night? The only good reason to have one obvious trap like this would be to capture someone and the only people that needed to capture someone were cannibals, murderers, and people from _Cabin in the Woods_. Oh, fuck. If your captor came by and whisked you away to a cabin in the woods, you would actually punch your friend when you came back as a ghost after suffering a horrible and painful death. Speaking of your friend, 

" _Alfred_! So help me! I am tripping balls here and I don't want to be stuck in this net anymore," you pitifully shouted. "I don't want 'The Organization' to separate us again." Referencing one of your inside jokes in hopes of catching Alfred's attention, you didn't seem to notice the crunching of leaves approaching from behind you as you giggled like a mad-man. Of course, that totally justified the terrified scream that ripped through your body whenever you heard somebody clear their throat and speak up from behind you. 

"I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY ORGANIZATION, BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU HAPPENED UPON ONE OF MY PUZZLES, HUMAN!" The net was facing the opposite direction of the voice's owner, so you waited as it slowly rotated and the tenor voice kept talking, lisping on certain words and stuttering a few times, "I APOLOGIZE THAT I WASN'T HERE TO GIVE YOU THE PROPER INSTRUCTIONS TO SOLVE IT AND NOW YOU HAVE BEEN THOROUGHLY JAPED, BUT I DO FIND IT JUST A TAD ODD THAT YOU DECIDED TO GIVE IT A WHIRL SO LATE AT NIGHT. DON'T MOST HUMANS RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT EARLIER THAN THIS? BY ALL MEANS, I AM NOT JUDGING YOUR DECISIONS, I AM MERELY INQUIRING." What in the actual hell were they going on about? Japes, going to bed, humans? Woah, does this mean you accidentally treaded across some monster's property? Probably. You just prayed that they didn't think you were trying to commit a hate-crime on them since you don't really think you need to be explaining yourself to the police whenever you had consumed some pretty illegal drugs. However, the fact you were in the vicinity of a monster quickly flew over your head as you realized that it was literally taking _hours_ to spin around and look this dude in the face. 

"YOU'RE PRETTY SILENT BUT MAYBE YOU ARE MUTE OR SUFFER FROM SOME CONDITION THAT YOU WOULD RATHER NOT DISCUSS, BUT KNOW THAT I AM A MASTER OF SIGN LANGUAGE AND CAN PERFECTLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOU THAT WAY, AS WELL! I JUST HOPE THAT IT IS NOT TOO DARK FOR YOU TO SEE WHAT I SIGN." Okay, for one, what an absolute sweetheart. For two, let's hope this guy doesn't realize that you're tripping on shrooms. Smacking your lips and shaking your head, your shoulders drooped in relief whenever you caught a glimpse of the monster talking and sighed. Finally, the net was almost there. 

"I- I'm (Name). Sorry for trespassing, I just had to use the restroom," you explained to the monster, hoping that would appease them, they would get you down, then you can run back to Alfred and beat him up for leaving you to dry. The monster released a bellowing, but cute, laughter before responding. 

"NYEH, HEH, HEH! IT IS QUITE ALL RIGHT, LITTLE HUMAN. I CAN RELEASE YOU AND RESET THE TRAP, THEN I CAN RUN YOU BY MY HOME TO LET YOU RELIEVE YOURSELF AND THEN YOU CAN BE ON YOUR MERRY WAY!" he said. "OH, AND I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, PLEASED TO BE AT YOUR SERVICE." After Papyrus finished his introduction, the net had turned around fully and now you were face to face with the tallest monster you had ever seen before. Papyrus was a skeleton, which though only a little macabre, did not shake you as much as it should have. Thank you, shrooms. And thanks to the drugs and the moonlight, Papyrus was like a shining beacon in the night.

He had to be just a little under two and a half meters, there was no way he was anything smaller. He wore an off-white and aged cuirass with rather rounded and spherical pauldrons that had almost gold cuffs, blue briefs with a gold band, and an off-set coquelicot pair of gloves and boots that covered what appeared to be a full-body suit. Papyrus also had the longest red scarf you had ever seen, even if it was a little raggedy and worn. His face, however, was only a little jarring. His teeth were just as massive, long and crooked and broken down in areas; it looked like his bottom jaw was destroyed and had trouble setting into his face correctly. That explained his lisp and his occasional stutter, but maybe it could be mostly cured with braces. Why hadn't he gotten braces yet, monsters had access to free dental and healthcare, predominately in cases of emergencies and this seemed like an emergency. His nasal cavity was slightly cracked near the top, but that wasn't as noticeable as to how tiny his eye sockets were. They were like tiny pinpricks, which must definitely make it hard for him to see. 

You were, unfortunately, cut off from your observations as Papyrus shot you a smile that, had his teeth been straight and shaved down, might have melted your heart more than it already did. Just how long had you been staring? Shaking your head, you hastily sputtered out a response. 

"H-hi, Papyrus! Pleasured to meet you," you're hoping that Papyrus doesn't think you're afraid of him because of the stutter and continued. "Yeah, uh, I would really like if you would get me down." Clapping his hands together and stepping forward, Papyrus tittered and set to work on deactivating the trap. 

"WHY, IT IS ALSO A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, TOO! MAYBE NOT THE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT I AM ALWAYS EXCITED TO MEET NEW PEOPLE, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN." You heard the net straining against the knot at the top, feeling it twist unsteadily before it lurched forth to the ground. Squeezing your eyes shut in preparation of impact, you felt your body being jimmied back up as a pair of lanky arms wrapped around your waist and hoisted you around. Papyrus gently placed you back onto your feet, which caused you to stumble as you miscalculated how far the ground was from your legs at each step. Finally, back on the ground and walking, you blinked as you tried to fathom how your high self managed to carry you this far. There was no way, but you had somehow accomplished it. 

Papyrus had turned away from you, resettling the net into the ground inconspicuously and setting the peg you had knocked over by accident when you originally set the trap off upright. Once he finished that, Papyrus turned to you with a wide smirk and a hand over his chest. 

"THE AMAZING ME IS FINISHED WITH THE TRAP! NOW I CAN ESCORT YOU BACK TO MY HOUSE AND YOU MAY THEN USE THE BATHROOM." You couldn't stop the big and goofy smile that spread across your features as you listened to Papyrus and his positive attitude. He was being absolutely pleasant to you and you were thankful this was the monster that stumbled across you and not another, he was even going to even let you use his bathroom! Yeah, the bathroom that was at his house. His. His house? Oh. Oh, shit.

You took a few steps backward, feeling everything around you reel as you tried to form a sentence about how you needed to head back into civilization and that it was okay that you didn't go to the bathroom, but then suddenly the world gave out from underneath you and you watched Papyrus jump forward to catch you once more. Had you both been dancing, it might have looked like Papyrus had just dipped you romantically, but you felt wrecked and he was looking at you in concern before he legitimately swept you off of your feet. 

Resting gently against his cuirass, you scrunched your brows together as you tried to follow along with the weird shapes and patterns that were ghosting over all of the trees and the sky and the leaves and, woah, no more shrooms. You were giggling and you just now noticing it, but that only made you giggle harder as you released a few snorts. If Papyrus didn't think you were all right a few seconds ago, he definitely just realized you weren't all there now. 

"HUMAN, I AM WORRIED ABOUT YOUR WELL-BEING, SO I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU STAY THE NIGHT IN MY HOME TO MAKE SURE YOU STAY SAFE," he said. "I HAVE BROTHER WHO WILL PROBABLY NOT LIKE THAT BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IF I SHOW SANS YOUR CURRENT STATE, HE'LL DIGRESS!" If he's anything like Papyrus, you're pretty sure that you'll be head-over-heels with double the sweetness by morning. Smiling at that thought, you failed to register that you were suddenly moving along, all of the funny images following after you as the two of you trekked through the forest. 

The trip seemed to take _ages_ as Papyrus hiked through the thickets and the heavy underbrush, and though his body appeared lanky and awkward, he moved mostly soundlessly and intelligently through the trees. It wasn't long until you saw a dim, yellow light in the distance before the outline of a house started to take form and then you deadpanned. It was a cabin. A cabin. In the woods. Fuck.

While preparing to sigh in defeat and accept your fate, Papyrus strode up to the decrepit front porch and swung the door open. You caught a small glimpse inside, shaggy carpeted floors and walls that were faded lime green, but found your view blocked by white. Following the white shirt upwards, you noticed a skeleton with a more rounded face than Papyrus. His permanent grin seemed to be strained, outlining his row of unevenly shaped teeth. His nasal cavity was wider, pulling out the apples of his face. One of his sockets was completely black, the other had a glowing candy apple red iris that seemed to dilate as his line of vision settled on your face. The only strange thing about this skeleton was the gaping hole above his glowing eye, the cracks stretching down his temple and over his forehead. He wore a cobalt blue parka that was furlined, a white shirt, and a pair of black jogger capris that had a single white stripe down each side. His look was completed with a pair of white socks and fuzzy pink house-slippers. Papyrus's brother certainly was something. 

"paps, ya scared me a bit when ya just kind of up 'nd left," he spoke up, his baritone voice gruff and unused. "but now that yer back, maybe i should be more concerned than worried." 

"I'M SORRY, BROTHER! BUT I THOUGHT I HAD HEARD SOMETHING AND I WAS CORRECT. THIS POOR HUMAN TRAPPED HERSELF IN ONE OF MY BRILLIANT PUZZLES," said Papyrus. "I THINK SHE MUST HAVE CONSUMED SOME VARIATION OF ECHO FLOWERS BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK IT WAS SAFE FOR HER TO RETURN HOME, SANS. YOU SHOULD SEE HER WALK!" At that, you gave Sans a thumbs-up and the dopiest smirk you could manage. The look Sans returned stabbed right through you and you could only chuckle in terror as you realized he was probably going to murder you tonight. 

"well, ain't that dandy. ya didn't think to use her cellphone and call someone?" Sans retorted, settling on just rolling his iris at you and smiling uncomfortably at Papyrus. 

"UM, NO? THAT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME BECAUSE OF HOW SHE WAS TUMBLING AROUND. WHAT I DID KNOW WAS THAT YOU WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEE THAT I HAVE MADE A NEW FRIEND!" Wait, you and Papyrus were friends now? _I mean, I guess it makes sense,_ you thought, _when you're tripping and someone saves you, I guess it could bond you somehow._

"what."

"PERFECT RESPONSE, BROTHER! NOW, TAKE CARE OF HER WHILE I PREPARE ARRIVAL SPAGHETTI FOR HER." At that, Papyrus thrust you into Sans's arms. The two of you released panicked noises as Sans fumbled to wrap his arms underneath you and readjust his weight. It seriously looked like he contemplated dropping you straight down to your death, but the corner of his mouth twitched when he concluded it would probably upset his brother to do so. 

"sure thing, paps. have fun in there," Sans mumbled out after his brother, who merely strode into the kitchen like a superhero and 'nyeh, heh, heh'd' all the way. Sans sighed and his red iris glanced down at you, the socket squinting whenever he noticed that you were messing with the strings of his hood. "and you, stop that." 

"Yikes, sorry," you wheezed out. "But they were uneven so I was trying to fix them for you and oh, no. Why are you so close to my face? Why are there actual spaghetti noodles spinning around like synchronized dancers?" Sans's eye-light went out as his brow bones scrunched together in the utmost confusion, but you could only focus on how there seemed to be no space in between the two of you whatsoever. 

"'m sorry, what?" Sans stepped backward, right leg extended and ready to pivot around, causing you to yelp and clutch his jacket. 

"I think the shrooms are really getting to me right now, can you please put me down?" Wasting no time, the support Sans was offering disappeared and your body fell straight to the ground. Screaming whenever it felt like you just kept falling and falling and falling and, oh. There was a tugging in your chest and for a hot minute, every part of you felt weightless, like a feather fluttering through the wind. It stole the air from your lungs and the lightheaded sensation lasted for a split second before you turned and rocked upwards, being put on the balls of your feet. 

"think i agree with paps on this now," Sans spoke. "it's not a good idea fer ya to return home like this." Whenever you gained your balance back, you spun towards Sans, literal stars in your eyes as you beamed at him. 

"Was that magic because that felt absolutely magical," you said, ignoring his concern as your train of thought drove past the tingly feeling still left over in your chest. "Haha, sorry for _falling_ for you, but I just felt that spark of _magic_ between us, so I think we're destined to be." You were barreling over with laughter, slapping your knee obnoxiously as you guffawed, but Sans had the deadest look known to man plastered across his face. There was silence from inside of the kitchen, so Sans knew that Papyrus was anticipating his response and debated ignoring the intoxicated girl, but. That sentence, the actual no-good, overused puns. He. Sans was weak. She had _pun-flirted_ with him. 

This had to explain why he caved and released a few hearty laughs as he looked away from the girl, his eyesockets crinkling upwards in a fleeting moment of happiness as Sans listened to that aggravated yell of hatred and irony from inside the kitchen. Ah, just like old times. 

"heh, good one," said Sans, clearing his throat and stuffing his right hand in his pocket and extending his left one. "i'm sans. sans the skeleton." Still having a fit of giggles, you accepted his hand and gave a few shakes. 

"I'm (Name)," you mimicked. "(Name) the human." Sans winked at you before he took his hand back, gesturing towards the threshold of the kitchen with a tilt of his skull. 

"nice. listen, my bro is really good at makin' spaghetti, so," he suddenly glowered at you, in an almost threatening manner that made you take an unsteady step away from him. "don't ya dare waste a single bite, sweetheart." Nodding vigorously in response, Sans's expression calmed as he waved an arm in the direction of the kitchen. 

"go on in, then. paps is real excited, hasn't cooked for someone 'cept me in months," explained Sans. Grinning nervously and walking towards the kitchen, you felt Sans's gaze stalk after you, almost as if he was judging the very center of your soul. You're hoping that you'll somehow be able to come down from the two hour long high, but you knew that it just started not even thirty minutes ago - even if it had felt like centuries. It was only just a little concerning for you because you're not entirely sure you can eat in this state since your perception of everything was drastically different, given that each step you took felt clunky and oddly off-weight. 

Eventually, you managed to cross into the kitchen and were instantly hit with the powerful aroma that wafted throughout the tiny room. It was mouthwatering and heavenly, making you blink back the tears that pricked at your eyes whenever you looked at the source of the scent. Papyrus was surrounded by a cloud of steam as he leaned over the sink to drain the pot of noodles, careful to not lose his grip on the lid and consequently all of the pasta before he placed the now drained pot onto a circular, cork textured mat. 

Watching Papyrus go about finishing up the meal, you hadn't noticed that Sans had snuck up behind you until he placed his hands on your shoulders and steered you in the direction of the dining room table. You blanched at him, awkwardly shrugging his grip off as you all but flopped onto one of the rickety, old wooden chairs. The cushion beneath you was completely flat, all of the stuffing inside of it worn down from so much use, but at least it felt better than sitting on the hard planks of the seat. Shooting Sans a weary grin as he sat down directly across from you and turning your attention back to Papyrus, you observed as he stirred the sauce inside of the crockpot slowly and sprinkled what looked like onion salt in before shouting a victorious 'nyeh!' 

Once he was finished, he unplugged the crockpot and opened one of the cabinets. Pulling out three plates and fishing around in the cutlery drawer for some forks, Papyrus then hopped to the table with a peppered gait as he placed the dishes around the table accordingly and walked back towards the food. Picking up the crockpot with one arm and the pot of noodles with the other, he -amazingly- carried them back to the table with little effort and sat them in the center of the table. Papyrus took his seat directly next to Sans, scooting up fully to the table before turning to you. 

"SO, HUMAN! WE DON'T NORMALLY SHARE OUR FOOD WITH PEOPLE, BUT I FELT THIS WAS A SPECIAL OCCASION AS YOU ARE CURRENTLY NOT SOBER AND I FIGURED SOME SPAGHETTI COULD DO YOU SOME GOOD," said Papyrus. "PLUS, HOW ELSE TO CELEBRATE THE MAKING OF A NEW FRIEND OTHER THAN EATING SPAGHETTI? I FIGURE THAT WE'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT ALL OF THE TIME NOW SINCE WE ARE FRIENDS!" Sans's sockets narrowed at you after Papyrus said that and you were certain that both of your faces were currently on an anime split-screen at that moment, but you tried your best to ignore the idea of Sans pulling all three god cards on you and completely eradicating you, so you chose to smile at Papyrus. 

"How wonderful," you said. "Thank you so much, Papyrus. You're such a sweetie." Blushing a tangerine shade of orange, Papyrus abashedly avoided eye contact as he started shoveling noodles onto your plate. Then he put a couple of hefty scoops of sauce onto the noodles, a few juicy meatballs rolling down the mound of pasta and collecting around the edges. The sauce was a simmering shade of tiger orange, tinted red in certain areas and sprinkled with flakes of oregano in others. Each noodle seemed to be just the right amount of tender and you could see the remanents of salt coating their outsides, leaving your tongue glued to the roof of your mouth as you looked at them. 

And while the meal looked absolutely delicious and you would love to scarf this down right now, you're not too sure the drugs in your system will allow that. 

Twirling your fork inside of the pile of noodles, you took note of the fact neither of the brothers had put any food on their plate as they awaited your reaction. Papyrus seemed jittery, almost nervous as to if you would even find his cooking edible or not. Sans, well, his wide smirk was tight and uneasy as if he just _anticipated_ for you to put the fork down and say you can't eat any of it. Knowing that there were a few cultures in the world that found it offensive if you didn't eat everything offered to you and guessing that maybe that was also a thing with monster culture, you hesitated no longer as you chomped down onto the spaghetti. 

Oh, you were so correct. This spaghetti was the most delectable spaghetti you had ever had and you had paid like fifteen euros in Italy just to try it there and not even that could compare to _this_. Tears pricked at your eyes again and still not too sure if it was the shrooms or if the spaghetti was this good, you chewed the best you could. It was difficult, feeling your tongue move the food over to one side but it felt like it took years to move aside and it still felt like you were chewing on the other side. Confident that you looked like a dog eating peanut butter to the two skeletons, you swallowed and plastered a toothy smile on your face. 

"Papyrus, I," you began and stopped to recollect your thoughts. "This is the greatest spaghetti that I've ever had before." It wasn't even a lie, but you are pretty sure your enhanced taste buds are from the shrooms, but you weren't going to let the sweetheart that was Papyrus know that. Especially not after watching the grandest look of pure happiness that danced across his face and, for just a quick second, you thought you saw miniature hearts appear in his tiny sockets. Papyrus shut his eyes and returned your toothy grin, beginning to spoon out noodles and sauce out for himself and his brother. Sans was placated -for now- and his face relaxed. 

"THANK YOU, (NAME)!" he spoke. "I MEAN, IT IS MY SPAGHETTI AFTER ALL, SO NO WONDER IT IS SO GREAT. BUT I DO APPRECIATE YOUR COMPLIMENT!" Piling his and his brother's plates higher than a mountain and gesturing for you to return to eating, you turned your attention back to your completely full plate of spaghetti and felt your heart sink into your stomach. Though it seriously was the best spaghetti you had ever experienced, you knew that the shrooms affected your ability to eat. It felt like complete and utter torture to even get the first bite down, so who knew how many bites this plate was or how long you could handle it? 

So, you did the only thing that you really could do: spin up another forkful and keep munching. 

However, during your half an hour of torment, you happened to learn a ton about your hosts. Papyrus didn't shut his mouth for a single second once he had finished making the plates up, talking to you and telling you little fun facts about him and his brother. Apparently, Papyrus was set on joining the Royal Guard and even had developed some sort of fascination of England's Queen's Guards (he really wanted to be accepted to protect the royalty and wear the 'dashing' uniforms, as he said). It was a cute dream, you had responded, but I think you need to be British for that. YES, Papyrus had retorted, JUST THOUGHT I WOULD LOOK HANDSOME IN SUCH A MAGNIFICENT OUTFIT! He also actively followed the Youtube Vlogger, Mettaton, who had been quite popular in the Underground but found it easier to gain fame on the Surface by Youtube. 

Sans, even with Papyrus's trivia, was still quite a mystery. He had sold hotdogs underground, liked to laze about whenever he had been on sentry duty, and just liked overall bad puns and jokes - especially if they were dark-humored. He loved to listen to Korn, Marilyn Manson, and the Vengaboys. You weren't surprised, it seemed to fit him really well. Wait, what's your favorite song then? you had asked. uh, it's the nightcored 'we like to party,' sans had said, isn't it obvious? You couldn't disagree there. 

Papyrus and Sans had finished their meals rather quickly, eating almost as if they had been starved and someone was going to take their food if they hesitated for too long. Then, Papyrus continued to blabber off stuff (such as how last week Sans apparently had sewn together a 'sexy' State Puff Marshmallow Man costume and would french-girl pose whenever Papyrus entered the same room) and Sans merely observed you as you ate. 

It felt like it had taken an eternity, but you finally cleared your plate. You 'huzzahed!' in your brain, smirking insanely as you placed your fork on the plate and scooted it a few centimeters towards the center. Papyrus gathered up the dishes, standing and walking towards the sink before gently setting them inside. He returned to pick up the pots of noodles and sauce, Sans appearing by a cabinet and pulling out some tupperware for Papyrus to scape the food into. Finally, with the food sealed away in the fridge and all of the dishes being placed in the sink and rinsed, the brothers turned to you. 

"UH, SO, HUMAN (NAME)!" Papyrus began. "I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I -WE- APPRECIATE THAT YOU DIDN'T WASTE ANY OF OUR FOOD." That was, like, the third weird sign that they had given you in the past hour that made you speculate that you were being given all of the details. Had something drastic or traumatic happened to them while being trapped in the Underground? Did it have to deal with food? Maybe these two had been starved, shunned away or cut off from civilization on accident and no one knew that they needed access to supplies? Eh, who knew. You're pretty sure that there had been no documented cases of that first reported whenever the Barrier had finally been broken, but maybe everyone overlooked these two poor, starved skeletons because -you know- they were skeletons. Skeletons are naturally thin. 

Shaking your head of your thoughts, you held up a thumbs-up," It was no big deal at all, Papyrus! As I said, it was _deeeelicious_!" 

"AH, BUT IT IS A BIG DEAL TO US!" Papyrus said, glancing away from your face as he continued. "SO, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS, I MEAN, METAPHORICALLY SINCE WE ARE SKELETONS." Nodding at him, you opened your mouth to respond and stood up before the world began spinning around again and your legs suddenly felt like jelly. You fell forward, only barely being caught by Sans as Papyrus gasped in horror. 

"THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT (NAME)! YOU ARE IN NO SHAPE TO GO HOME AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN USED THE RESTROOM YET," Papyrus took you from Sans, sweeping you into his arms before he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. "WHICH MEANS YOU WILL BE SLEEPING HERE AND SINCE YOU ARE THE GUEST AND I AM THE BEST HOST OUT THERE, YOU CAN TAKE MY BED TONIGHT." 

"B-but, where will you sleep?" You began, ready to explain that you could sleep on the couch just fine, but Papyrus wasn't having any of that nonsense. 

"WITH SANS, OF COURSE. IT WILL BE JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!" Now Sans appeared by Papyrus's side as he began going up the flight of steps, creaking and cracking underneath the weight of the three of you. 

"wait, what?" Poor Sans, you think that's the third or fourth time he's said that tonight. 

"I AM QUITE EXCITED FOR US TO BE CUDDLE BUDDIES AGAIN, SANS," Papyrus hyped, "SO IT WON'T BOTHER ME ONE BIT IF SHE SLEEPS IN MY ROOM." Papyrus walked up to a door covered in really cute doodles that looked scratchy and unfinished, almost as if it was too difficult for them to continue, so you assumed Papyrus had drawn them and stopped because it was hard for him to see. Why didn't he have glasses yet? Pushing it ajar, Papyrus stepped in and headed for the racecar bed that had orange and yellow flamed painted across the sides. You didn't get much of a look at the rest of the room because those weird, funny patterns danced across your vision again and you were lost to the world. 

"Thanks, man," you said. "I owe you one hella solid." 

"I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU JUST SAID TO ME, BUT YOU'RE WELCOME!" Papyrus said as he laid you down on the bed, fluffing the pillow a bit before he draped the blanket across your form. Your eyes were spaced out and you were looking into the void basically, but the didn't stop Papyrus from wishing you a good night's sleep and saying he couldn't wait to see you in the morning. He waved, almost shimming out of the room before Sans stopped him. 

"bro, are you for real?" 

"UH, YEAH?" 

"but, she could have slept on the couch-" 

"THAT SHE COULD HAVE, BUT WE WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE BEST HOSTS EVER, SO SHE SHALL SLEEP IN MY GLORIOUS BED!" 

"i, um, i-"

"COME, BROTHER! WE MUST PREP YOUR ROOM FOR A SLEEPOVER. DON'T FORGET THE SNACKS!" At that, Papyrus left the room and Sans merely stared out after him in a look of disbelief and 'uh, what the frickety-frack in the hippity sack.' Sans took a glance at your tripping self before he took a deep breath, glancing back at Papyrus's retreating form and lifting his arms. He then promptly made his point by giving you and his brother the 'boi' hand.

Sans was so fucking done with tonight.


	2. das geht ab!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The romance in the story is going to take a bit to get to, but I promise you the Horrortale Brothers quickly realized that you're their soulmate, haha.

The early morning sunlight peeked through from behind the raggedy, beige curtains on the far side of the room where the lone window was located. A warm feeling danced over your eyelids, causing you to grunt and attempt to roll over. Each toss and turn made your body sink further into the basically deflated mattress, trapping your limbs underneath the blanket as you struggled to roll on to your left side. Finally, after the grapple of the century, you flopped towards the door instead of towards the window. Sighing in relief, you slowly snuggled back into the covers before the door was slammed off of its hinges. 

"HUMAN (NAME), I HAVE PREPARED US THE MOST DELECTABLE BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI," Papyrus exclaimed, standing in the threshold with his hands on his hips and pure glee seeping from his metaphorical pores. "I HAVE THINNED OUT CINNAMON COVERED BREADSTICKS, DOUSED THEM IN WARM FROSTING AND SIMMERED US A CHOCOLATE SAUCE! I DO THINK YOU WILL ENJOY YOURSELF!" A small groan slipped past your lips as you listen to Papyrus blabber on, scrunching your eyebrows at Papyrus's habit of calling every meal 'spaghetti.' He must be protected. 

"Yeah, okay, Paps," you said. "I'll be down in a sec." Your eyes fluttered shut, face nuzzling back into the pillow and assuming that Papyrus had accepted your response before heading back downstairs. You were, therefore, thoroughly shocked whenever a set of arms slid underneath your form and all but flung you into the air. Screeching and digging your nails into bone, your eyes shot wide open to see what the hell had just happened. Papyrus had lifted you from the bed, humming what sounded like a Kesha song under his breath and shimming you towards the stairs. 

"AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO BELIEVE YOU, I AM PRETTY SURE THAT YOU WOULD HAVE FALLEN STRAIGHT BACK TO SLEEP HAD I LEFT YOU THERE," Papyrus explained, hoping that it justified his actions and only further making you gush over this sweetheart. Damn, even if his brother was kind of a creepy jerk at times, you were correct last night. Papyrus's sweetness picked up the slack in Sans's attitude, which _did_ leave you head over heels by morning. Speaking of, what even is the time? 

"Uh, that's fine," you mumbled out. "Do you by any chance have the time?" 

"YEP! IT'S EXACTLY SEVEN ON THE DOT," said Papyrus, hopping down the steps two at a time, holding you flushed securely against his chest as he went. It was now that you just noticed he had changed outfits from last night, wearing a juniper green sweater that was tucked into a pair of high-waisted, tawny brown khakis. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his red gloves replaced with a pair of fingered gloves with orange, forest green, yellow-green, and blue-gray stripes. Papyrus looked, overall, cute. 

"Oh, that's nice," you released a huge yawn and smacking you lips after your response. "I fancy your look today." Papyrus's bone brows rose up and his tiny eye sockets widened by a fraction before he turned his skull away to the side, an orange blush steadily spreading across his pointy cheekbones. His pace faltered just a fraction, an awkward smile pulling at the corners of his mouth before he released his iconic laugh. 

"NYEH, HEH, HEH! AS DO I, (NAME)," he began. "SANS HELPED ME TAILOR THE OUTFIT TOGETHER. THOUGH HE MAY NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO WORK FOR LONG, HE IS DILIGENT WITH HIS SEWING!" So Sans was the one who had helped Papyrus throw his outfit together? Seriously? Out of all the people in the world, you couldn't find it within your imagination to picture Sans as the fashionable type. Shaking the image of a fashionista Sans with a cloth measuring tape around his turtle neck and flashing a dashing smile, striking a pose with a mannequin before dramatically sighing in designer angst, you sniffed at the air as you noticed how the delicious scent of cinnamon and chocolate drafted through the air. Saliva formed as you could only think about how great the food was last night and your tummy rumbled in hopes of tasting such amazing cooking again, which Papyrus heard and gasped in horror at. 

"YOU ARE _HUNGRY_?" Papyrus screamed out, abhor settling into his features as he paused midstep. At these words, Sans appeared out of nowhere with a rather traumatized expression. He looked tired, almost as if he had tossed and turned throughout the entire night instead of sleeping. Both of his eye sockets were blank and completely pitch black, devoid of any emotion and causing shivers to tickle up your spine just like you had just taken a glimpse into the void. The apples of his face that were once pulled out by his ever permanent smile had shrunk in, looking sanded down because of how the edges of his mouth were tugged down into an almost heaving frown. 

Sans scared you like this, as did the tightening grip from Papyrus. You hadn't realized that your stomach naturally grumbling would trigger such a panic, which made you wince and open your mouth to speak. However, Sans cut off whatever you were about to say. 

"hungry?" he said. "she's hungry?" When he asked this, Sans just stared at your face but it seemed like his eyes were unseeing in a way: he looked like he was looking at someone else entirely, someone he hated, someone he resented. Papyrus's breathing turned to a pant, speeding up in rhythm and his entire body shivered with fear or dread or anticipation? It terrified you.

Something was amiss here, you just knew it. They must have been starved whenever they had been trapped underground, or -at least- something similar. Sans and Papyrus were now displaying several signs of PTSD, only being set off whenever food was the subject. The thought of them suffering for years down in the Underground, hands clawing out and reaching for anyone to help them but being forgotten and buried away from civilization as hunger gnawed through their bones flitted by. Blinking back the tears that pricked at your ducts and taking a shaky breath, your bottom lip trembled as you forced out anything that could hopefully soothe them. 

"No, no, guys, I promise you that I'm fine," you trilled off. "That was just my body saying it was ready for more of Papyrus's cooking! Please, it's okay, don't worry." Papyrus's poised step gently lowered to the ground, his body still vibrating and intensity still in the air as the words sparked a twitch of Sans's skull. His right hand quivered before he brought the appendage to his right socket and with a quick tick of his shoulders, dug his phalanges into the depths of his skull. Bile danced in the back of your throat as you tried not to think about how painful that must be, instead choosing on focusing on how he tugged downwards like he was grounding himself in a sense. 

They were still lost in their own worlds, seeing a reality that isn't true anymore and your heart soared in searing pain. You didn't know what you could do and you didn't know if any of your actions would make the situation escalate or resolve, but you had to try something. 

Piecing together that Papyrus's sanity revolved on an axis of Sans staying sane, you looked around in an alarmed gaze before pulling a 'fuck-all' stance and reaching forward. You carefully clasped your hands around Sans's palm, trying to ease his phalanges out of his socket and cooing him softly once you noticed his breath hitched. Sans's red pupil reappeared, scouring your face as you successfully pulled his fingers away and held them gingerly. 

"Sans, I'm all right. Not hungry, 'kay?" Your thumb massaged small circles on the back of his hand, rubbing over the smooth texture of bone that was littered with cracks and splintered areas. You loured, each circle plucking harshly at your heartstrings as you could only envisage what the brothers had been through. Sans stared into your soul, trying to see whatever your intentions could be and if you planned on harming himself or his brother, just watching the (color) of your soul radiate nothing but absolute kindness and shimmer out perseverance and justice. The absolute beauty of your soul made a gasp shudder through him and he closed his eyes, taking a step back but letting you continue to comfort him. 

Your skin was soft and warm, and Sans could feel your heartbeat pulse between each of your fingers. His own soul thrummed in time with yours, making his pupil constrict. This feeling, no. It couldn't be. 

Sans's trail of thought was halted whenever Papyrus began functioning again, seeing that his brother was okay and not having to fend off the dogs of the Royal Guard. His teeth chattered, a small grunt of pain escaping him as he looked down at the charge in his arms. 

"THAT IS GOOD, (NAME)! IF YOU WERE HUNGRY, WE WOULD HAVE TO BEAT SOMEONE UP TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE FED AND HEALTHY," stated Papyrus in a matter-of-fact sort of way. You smiled up at him, removing your hold from Sans's hand and turning your attention fully to Papyrus. You went to respond to him, but both of you quickly glanced at Sans as he released a low 'uhh' that reverberated throughout his throat. The look on his face was of fear, panic, confusion, and arousal? Were you seeing that correctly?

"Is everything all right with him?" You wearily questioned and Papyrus shrugged. 

"WHO KNOWS, SOMETIMES SANS REALLY IS BIG DUMB!" At that, Sans snapped back and gave you guys a nervous grin before releasing a chuckle. 

"heh, can't help it, bro," said Sans. "we all know you're the brains here." That made Papyrus smile and resume walking towards the kitchen, the meal laid out nicely across the table. In the center, there was an old looking vase with a small bouquet of dandelions that looked like they had been freshly plucked from the grass around the house. You raved over the quaint scene, feeling your heart swell at the idea of this being made specifically for you. From what you've gathered, these guys were definitely not good with people at all, but they had been nothing but courteous and mindful of you since last night. 

"Wow, Paps, did you set this up? It looks absolutely adorable," you complimented. Papyrus, once again, blushed and sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. 

"YES! I ALSO HAD SANS HELP A BIT," Papyrus pointed at the flowers," HE BROUGHT THOSE." You quizzically glanced at Sans, who refused to meet your gaze as he clicked his tongue at Papyrus and took a seat. Wait, he. Sans had a tongue? 

"don't put all the credit on me," he said. "it was your idea." Sans had tried deflecting anything that was said at him since he came down from his episode, so you guessed it must have been some sort of a coping mechanism. Instead of making note of that just in case of emergencies later, you just blanked. You were, justifiably, still shook over the fact that Sans might have a _tongue_. He was a skeleton, wasn't he? Oh, my gosh. How do you ask a skeleton this? What if they thought you were being racist or inconsiderate because they were monsters? But, by golly, you've just got to know - even if this wasn't the right time. Taking a deep breath and gathering the courage to ask, you began. 

"Sans?" Said skeleton tilted his head towards you, signaling that he was listening. Grimacing but dedicated, you continued," Um, please don't get offended by this, but - do you two have tongues?" Papyrus, who had been picking up newly-cleaned dishes from the sink and was headed back to the table, stumbled and grappled for the plates as they almost fell out of his hold as he emitted a shocked 'nyeh?' Sans, unfortunately, looked like he had just choked on his own spit. No way, Sans had just found out that the two of you might possibly, coincidentally, probably be soulmates and you were asking if he had a tongue. The only thing that popped in his mind was 'sad cowboy emoji.' 

"uh," Sans finally looked at you, but his eye light was like a saucer. "what made ya ask this, kid?" The set of brothers kind of looked like deer in headlights, but you were already in too deep, so you've got to commit now. You must know, for morbid curiosity's sake. 

"A few seconds ago, it sounded like you clicked your tongue," You squirmed in your seat, perplexedly puffing out air out of the corners of your mouth. "I am so confused because skeletons don't have tongues?" Sans blinked rapidly at you, lifting his index phalange before settling on giving you an open facing palm and the 'boi' expression. 

"what," he said. "(name), we are literally monsters. we have magic. that's how." 

"Oh, so," you held out the last word." You have tongues?" 

"yes." 

"Oh, my fucking god." You looked so absolutely done, more than likely stuck on the mental image of skeletons having tongues that danced the worm before sashaying their pelvic bones at you. You disassociated with this image, caught unawares whenever Papyrus finally plopped the dishes upon the table and returned with basketfuls of food. Papyrus had a set of tongs in his grip, fishing out a few breadsticks before dropping them on your plate. The sound made you nictate your eyes and keek at the almost pastries on your plate, taking a small sniff before feeling your body nearly melt. 

They were sweet, no doubt. You couldn't wait to dig in, but you respectfully waited for Papyrus to dish out the frosting and a miniature bowl full of sauce unto your plate. Jittery as you watched Papyrus do the same for himself and his brother, he finally sat down beside you before giving you a huge grin. 

"NOW THAT THAT HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING QUESTION HAS LEFT THE CHAT," started Papyrus, "WE CAN FINALLY HAVE BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI!" You returned his gesture before you cocked your head to the side, brows furrowed. 

"Wait, Paps," you said," Why do you call everything 'blank-" spaghetti?" Now it was Papyrus that returned your look, heading shaking slightly in confusion before he spoke. 

"What do you mean? This _is_ spaghetti." You opened your mouth to correct him but happened to catch Sans's gaze. He merely shook his head at you and mouthed the word 'don't,' so you just gave up and dug in. Your speculation was, once again, flawless. It seemed like everything that Papyrus produced was sinfully tasty, but you weren't complaining. If anything, you seemed a little bummed that you would more than likely have to leave their house later and you wouldn't be able to taste Papyrus's cooking ever again. That was only your fault, however. You were insanely terrible at keeping up with friendships and contacting people. 

The majority of the meal continued on very similarly to last night; Papyrus chatting up the world, Sans staring at you like he was an actual creep -except- this time his smile didn't seem to scream 'i'll eat you if you don't finish your plate,' and the warm smells and friendly chattering seemed to fill the atmosphere pleasantly. You hadn't noticed that last night during your high, but now that the shrooms weren't in the way, you could actually enjoy how comfortable everything made you feel. 

Once you were finished eating, you joined the brothers with clearing off the table and regrouped inside of the foyer of the house. Papyrus had mentioned that he thought he had accidentally left your bag by the trap, which explained why you didn't have your phone on you but didn't make you feel any less secure about Alfred having a hernia trying to locate you and getting no response. Pausing and thinking that over a tad bit, you came to the realization that Alfred deserved it for leaving you to die. Now he has to suffer the consequences. Telling Papyrus that it wasn't really a big deal -even with his insistence- and turning to head on your merry way, the brothers offered to walk with you (more like Papyrus jumped at the proposition and he kind of voluntold Sans). 

Though the offer was kind, you ran it by Papyrus that you didn't want to be too much of a hassle considering you feel you have already overstepped your welcome. Sans shrugged at that, recreating the 'guess i'll die' meme pose while Papyrus nearly shrieked as if you had told him his spaghetti was 'dis-gus-tang.' 

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU SAFELY GET HOME OR ELSE OUR HOSPITALITY WOULD BE ALL FOR NOTHING," said Papyrus, wrapping his scarf around his neck and giving you a cute, scrunched eye smile before patting you on the top of your head. Sans had already stuffed his hands in a pair of baggy, fuzzy green mittens that resembled frogs and was rocking on the balls of his feet, whistling and looking anywhere but you. He appeared to be awkwardly shy, almost as if he were nervous about walking you home. It was...sweet? Finished with adjusting his scarf, Papyrus ushered the three of you out of the house and onto the porch before you could continue your observations of Sans's now placid demeanor. Now that the sunlight was graciously pouring down on everything, you just now realized the state of their home. 

It was -in lack of better words- in shambles, that's how horrible it looked. The horrifying cabin from your memory last night was there, looking even more disturbed. The inside was a little too worn for wear as well, but with Papyrus's slight obsessive tendencies, it seemed to constantly be cleaned and repaired to the best of his abilities and accessible tools. Here, though, it seemed as if what Papyrus was capable of taking care of came to a halt. 

Each log of the cabin was lined with cracks, various weeds poking out from in between them as their leaves and stems twisted in and around the various hole and splits. The once umber color was faded and rotted, areas appearing black as if they had been scorched. The windows, while covered up with moth-ridden, strangely beige-gray curtains from the inside, were not hidden from sight out here. Moss lined the edges, some sort of translucently green blotches of mildew or mold glazed over certain areas. 

Your mouth dropped in horror, taking a step back as you glanced at the door. You noticed the creaky hinges, the golden paint chipped away and rusting. The doorknob appeared the same way, so you turned to look at the porch. Then you noticed the once adorable little porch swing, although the pillows on it were tore to shreds and stuffed with dying and crunchy leaves, covered in a light sappy film. The swing itself was broke down like if you ever thought about sitting on it, the middle would cave in and enfold on itself. 

Glancing down, you wallowed in the fact that the boards of the porch appeared very much like the logs in the cabin: broken down and upholstered in plants. When you took another step backward, you felt the boards shift unsteadily and realized you had to be careful where you planted your weight, lest the porch also caves underneath you. 

Lifting your trail of vision upwards, you noticed Sans was refusing to meet your eyes and Papyrus stood there stiffly, almost as if he were going to break if you pointed out that the house appeared just as broken as them. What the actual hell? Many monsters on the surface were loaded, having traded in their currency (gold coins) and mined out the diamonds from a place you distantly recall being named 'Waterfall.' So how come these guys hadn't taken up that offer? Were they trapped underground long after the barrier had been broken and consequently lost the chance to stock on money? 

Monsters first appeared about three years ago and with their currency and gems flooding the market, the value for both items finally had depreciated about a year ago to where now each pound cost just a few bucks or so. Quickly glancing back at their porch, you bit your lip as you thought. Did that mean these two had been trapped an extra two years longer? That must have been why they were starved. Once the monsters scurried away from their imprisonment, hardly anybody came back for too long of a visit. They only returned if they forgot something, but it seems no one returned to retrieve these forgotten skeletons. 

Question after question popped into your mind, but considering how the brothers were looking at you right now, you realized you'd have to be careful on how you word them. At any given moment, you could accidentally trigger another PTSD attack with them, so you can't let them think you're unnerved by them or their house or that you think they're disgusting and worthless. Those thoughts made you shudder. How could you ever call such a sweetheart like Papyrus either of those things? You don't think you could even call Sans that either, disregarding his threatening manners last night as a defense mechanism. These boys needed serious help. Why hadn't anyone given them serious help? 

You opened your mouth to say something but immediately closed it. Never before had you met someone that was in a crisis like _this_. Obviously, they were supposed to be handled differently and carefully, but you didn't know how to do that. They were special, and if you didn't watch your actions, you might end up dropping them and shattering them forever. Befriending them must be a step in the right direction, but Sans was proving to be a little too aloof and cold to befriend off the bat as Papyrus had been. Okay, calm down, (Name). You can do this, deep breath and a clear head is what you needed right now. Just ask them. 

"Do you guys have a landlord or something?" You tried to make sure you didn't flat out ask why their house was in poor condition, no. You needed to gather all of the details before you came to a full conclusion since you weren't too sure if your original theory was even correct. The boys may have experienced something way worse than what you speculated, so just gather the facts. 

Papyrus shifted away from you, "UM, SORT OF. THERE IS THIS GUY THAT GAVE US THIS HOME, BUT WE DON'T NECESSARILY PAY RENT." Sans gave you a sharp look after that, his red eye seemed to be like a fire burning straight into your soul. 

"Oh, really? Is this guy a friend or?" you questioned, Papyrus jumped and Sans emitted a barely audible growl. Wrong choice of words. 

"DEFINITELY NOT A FRIEND. I DID USE TO BE FRIENDS WITH A COUPLE OF THE PEOPLE HE LIVED WITH THOUGH, BUT THEY, UH, DON'T COME AND VISIT ME ANYMORE." Papyrus explained, turning to walk down the steps almost as if he didn't want to be in the same vicinity of his house at that moment. 

"Why don't they come to visit you?" You almost leaped after Papyrus to keep up with his very long strides, but Sans seem to sluggishly trudge behind, watching your interaction with his brother and not adding any of his input. 

"I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT," Papyrus uneasily shrugged, shrinking up a bit. "THEY MUST NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SO THEY HAD TO HIDE AWAY AND CRY THEIR EMOTIONS OUT THAT THEY WOULD NEVER BE AS AMAZING AS ME! NOT LIKE I'VE EVER DONE THAT, OF COURSE." 

Oh, poor baby. His friends' neglection must have added some really deep emotional scars, which shouldn't be the little 'cherry on the top' of his trauma. Papyrus needed a steady and constant friend who could always be with him if he is to heal properly. Couldn't his friends see that? Or were they doing it to him on purpose? Did Papyrus realize that they wanted to abandon him or is he hopefully thinking that they just couldn't be friends anymore? The sadness of the situation made your head throb, but you just gave Papyrus a very gentle smile and blinked at him slowly. 

"You _are_ quite amazing, Papyrus," you said, not wanting to comment about his friends. This appeared to be the correct thing to say, for Papyrus gave you the most optimistic smile ever and clapped his hands together. 

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH, (NAME)!" His tone still sounded a little upset, but he was obviously masking it now to assure that you didn't worry too much over his wellbeing. Your heart broke. 

"And your 'friends' don't deserve how amazing you are," you stated. "But I'm absolutely honored to be your friend, Papyrus." You mentally crossed your fingers, hoping that would lighten the mood a bit and make Papyrus feel better. Whatever your words sparked in his mind, it seemed that what you said was the best thing to say. Almost instantly after the words had registered inside of Papyrus's mind, you were swooped up into a bone-crushing hug and spun around in circles. Laughter escaped your mouth as Papyrus twirled you and for some reason, you felt so heavenly free during this moment, bliss flooding your senses. You didn't understand it but refused to question it as Papyrus tumbled to a stop and plopped you onto your feet again. 

His pinprick eyes were the widest that you ever have seen them and there was a little orange blush splashing across his cheekbones, but you just giggled before you pulled him back for another hug. Feeling him flushed against you and holding him tightly, confusion washed over you. This felt so right, you just couldn't fathom that anyone would purposefully want to harm him. When the two of you pulled apart, you happened to glance back at Sans. He just stared at you in silence, no emotion whatsoever displayed on his face, but his eye...His eye flashed for a second, making you double take and blink animatedly, but it was just the red orb. 

Rubbing your eyes, you shook your head. For a second, it seemed like Sans's eye had flashed in the form of a distorted question mark. Or, at least, that's what you had thought. It had wavered like a rippling tide but then disappeared before you managed to really get a good look at it. Maybe it was never even really there in the first place. 

Turning back to Papyrus, you linked arms with him before speaking,

"Ready to walk me home, Paps?" Papyrus nodded vigorously before the three of you set off on the journey through the woods. The walk just felt like any old casual stroll through the forest with the way Papyrus seemed to always be able to fill any moment with a conversation. He just chatted up about anything; every topic that came to his mind, he would run it by you. This was how you had already learned a fair bit about Papyrus in just the past day and you cherished it. You would rather that he keeps talking his head off and ask you about anything than let whatever it was that had struck him into mortified silence that had taken him over earlier return. 

During the walk back, Papyrus swung you by the trap he had saved you from last night, bending down to grab your bag and holding it out for you. Checking to make sure your wallet, phone, phone charger, and keys were in the bag, you nodded in satisfaction to Papyrus before continuing. You hadn't even bothered to check your phone, knowing that more than likely your notifications were going to be blown up with messages asking 'where r u,' 'r u ded,' or 'can i eat ur flamin hot cheeto puffs.' Sans was the only who had noticed you didn't, but you just shrugged at him sheepishly before turning back to conversing with Papyrus. 

It wasn't much longer until the three of you were nearing the outskirts of the forest and your heart dropped just a little bit. With all of the information you had gathered from just Papyrus and the state of their house alone, you were afraid of leaving them. But you reassured yourself that they would be fine, considering how long they had managed when they were left to their lonesome, yet the guilt of it didn't stop gnawing away on the edges of your conscious. 

When Papyrus slowed to a stop and tilted his body towards you, the small frown that dashed across his features was enough for you to finally say, "Do you have a cell phone? We can keep in contact if you want." Papyrus's grin was like sunlight on your skin and some sort of giddy feeling tore through your midriff, like an excited fish swimming round and round. 

"I WOULD LOVE THAT, (NAME)! WE CAN MAKE SPAGHETTI TOGETHER MORE OFTEN THEN," said Papyrus. "MAYBE EVEN MY BROTHER WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE HOTDOGS. IF HE CAN GET HIS LAZY SELF OFF OF THE COUCH MORE OFTEN, THAT IS." Then Papyrus dug around in his pant's pocket, pulling out this rectangular object and shoving it towards you. You gaped in fear and admiration at the phone, noticing it was one of the huge, clunky cellphones from 2005. Luckily, a keypad slid out and you were able to type your contact into his phone within a matter of three minutes. _Impressive_ , you think, _since I haven't touched a phone like that in almost ten years._

Handing Papyrus back his phone, you were pulled into one last hug before you slowly pivoted towards Sans. He looked like he would rather die than have to touch you again, but he finally sucked it up and stuck his left hand out. Shaking his hand and offering another gentle smile, you realized just how much your cheeks hurt from smiling at the duo.

"Perfect," you started. "I can't wait to see you two again. It was really fun and I really can't thank you guys for taking care of me last night." Papyrus gushed and Sans just waved his hand about casually. 

"eh, it was no problem, kid." said Sans. "just try not to get yourself killed." The two of you chuckled before you turned back to civilization, walking away from the two and giving a wave. Papyrus waved back enthusiastically and Sans just stared off after you, but you shouted a parting back at them nonetheless. 

"Give me a call soon," you said before dramatically placing a hand over your chest. "I'm missing you guys already." The brothers gave you a confirmation and then you focused your energy on getting home. It wasn't but a ten-minute walk casually, but you kind of wanted to pass out in your own bed, so you picked up the pace. 

When you got back, you were fully aware that you'd probably have a bit of explaining to do and you were absolutely dreading that, but a part of you pounded in anticipation at seeing the brothers again. You wanted to help them to the best of your abilities, but right now, you really needed to go to sleep. 

Helping Papyrus and Sans can wait until _after_ you take a nap.


	3. weck mich nicht auf ;(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious, the first chapter title means "go left; go right," the second title means "it starts from!" and this one means "don't wake me up ;(" 
> 
> Also, I am still horribly into Hetalia, so Alfred is APH America. If you've even been in the Hetalia fandom, you will have also heard Disco Pogo by Die Atzen (a German band, the use of the song here inspired by my German titles). Alfred doesn't play too much of a role in this, but I still needed to give you a wingman, you know? 
> 
> The romance is probably going to speed up more in the next few chapters because Papyrus is about to come to terms that you're his soulmate and he'll talk to Sans about it. The scene is going to be iconic, don't miss it.

Before you even had the chance to unlock the door, it was nearly swung off of its hinges as you were quickly pulled into a hug. A set of arms had wrapped around your chest, basically choking you out as whoever it was sobbed out apologies. 

"(Name), I'm so so so sorry!" they said pathetically, crying into the nook of your neck. "But the trees started dancing with me and all I could hear was ' _Disco Pogo_ ' and suddenly you were gone. I thought you had di-ie-ie-ied!" 

"Die to Die Atzen? Hell no, I would much rather die to Pitbull's ' _Hotel Room Service,_ '" you said, patting their back before breaking away from the hug. "Anyhow, Alfred, I don't think I should forgive you because you kind of left me for death." Alfred gasped as you pointed your finger at him accusingly, narrowing your eyes. 

"I just said that I didn't mean to," he shouted. "You know I have happy little dancing feet! I _am_ that damn penguin before I'm human." You looked directly into the camera, deadpanning as you tried to find whatever part in you decided that it was okay to continue to allow Alfred to keep the role of 'best friend forevs, gurl.' Rolling your eyes and sighing heavily, you just walked past him and headed towards your bedroom. 

"It's whatever," you ended his whining. "Wake me up when -"

"September ends?" Alfred cut you off, biting his bottom lip as he tried to hide his ever-growing smirk. Something died inside of you at that moment, but you continued heading for your room before you shouted over your shoulder, 

"Actually, yes," you said. "Don't wake me up at all." With that, you shuffled into your room and slammed the door shut. Shrugging your bag off and letting it drop carelessly to the floor, you released a giant yawn as you flopped onto your full-size mattress. Silence settled over the room and you shakily breathed out, your arm reaching down to the floor and digging your charger and phone out. You plugged the charger into the power strip by your wall and hooked up your phone, hearing the tone sound off as it began charging and you haphazardly tossed it on to the nightstand by your bed.

About to roll over, you grabbed your phone one last time and noticed that it was eleven in the morning. Cool, breakfast with the boys had taken three hours. Maybe you should try to do it again sometime. A yawn slipped through your lips before you slovenly rolled your blankets around you like a burrito. Sleep tugged at your eyelids and your head drooped as you fell back into whatever had consumed you last night. Mind blanking and heartbeat steadying, you were almost gone before one last thought snuck into your brain.

_How did Alfred get in last night?_

* * *

Obnoxious banging on piano keys awoke you, scaring the living daylights out of you as you grasped out for your phone and about blinded yourself when you pressed the home button and the brightness was turned up all the way. Grumbling and moaning in tired frustration, you pressed the green answer button and lazily moved the phone towards your ear. You hadn't even bothered to check who it was, so you're really hoping it was an important call and not just some greedy insurance company calling to talk about ensuring coverage for the car that wasn't even yours. 

"Hello?" you groggily cried out. 

"(NAME)! I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU FINALLY RECEIVED MY CALL," you heard Papyrus's voice on the other end. "I CALLED EXACTLY SEVEN TIMES AND SENT YOU TWELVE MESSAGES SINCE NOON YESTERDAY BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT I ENJOYED HAVING YOU OVER AND WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU FANCIED COMING BACK, BUT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER AND I FEARED THAT YOU ACCIDENTALLY TYPED THE WRONG NUMBER INTO MY PHONE." You heard the way Papyrus covered up his slightly hurt tone in his last sentence and you emitted a small moan, feeling slightly guilty that you slept through him trying to contact you. 

"Oh, gosh, Papy," you rolled towards the edge of your bed, swinging your legs over the side. "What time is it? I fell asleep as soon as I came home yesterday." 

"SIX IN THE MORNING," Papyrus answered, now chipper that he heard your excuse. "AND THAT IS QUITE UNDERSTANDABLE. EVEN SANS TRIED TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE PROBABLY HORRIBLY HUNGOVER FROM WHATEVER YOU TOOK YESTERDAY AND THAT HAD TO BE THE REASON YOU WEREN'T ANSWERING. I KNEW THAT YOU WEREN'T STANDING ME UP, FRIEND!" Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. You had legitimately slept through the entire day and night yesterday, yet your body still felt so heavy and your muscles tried to drag you to the ground. When you attempted to stand, your head throbbed warningly and you gripped your temple with your free hand and squeezed your eyes shut. Okay, never again were you taking shrooms. 

"No, of course not, Papyrus," you whispered. "I would never stand you up." There really wasn't much that your brain produced for you to say, so you tried your best to not tumble out of your room as you made your way into the kitchen. 

"I KNEW THAT," said Papyrus hastily. "I EVEN TOLD SANS THAT HE CAN SUCK IT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE ELSE WE MET AND THAT YOU ONLY WANTED TO BE OUR FRIEND!" This boy was going to end your career and your career hadn't even begun yet. You searched through the cabinets to pull out your twenty-ounce tumbler and the coffee grounds as you prepare your coffee. 

"And what did Sans say to that?" Turning the knob to the sink and filling the tumbler with water up to the brim and dumping a few scoops of grounds into a filter, you pushed the basket of the coffee pot in and dumped out the water into the top before switching it on. 

"'I COULD THEORETICALLY DO JUST THAT, BUT I'M NOT REALLY INTO INCEST,'" you shot spit everywhere as you wheezed out and your laughter rang out throughout the silent house. "SOMETIMES I REALLY HATE HIM, (NAME)." The laughter continued to pour out of you as the delectable scent of coffee soon filled the house and wafted into your nostrils, making you take a deep breath and sigh blissfully as you tried to calm yourself. 

"Wow, okay," you said. "I really wasn't expecting _that_ of all things to come out of Sans but he just keeps on surprising me." Papyrus sighed on the other end as you began pouring the coffee into your tumbler, patiently awaiting his response. 

"YES, WELL, HE IS FULL OF THEM," said Papyrus. You giggled one last time as you screwed the lid for your tumbler shut, pivoting on your heel and stalking for the fridge as you placed your cup onto the counter. 

"Definitely," you echoed. "Uh, I do have to ask you, is there anything important that you called to ask? Earlier you had mentioned me coming back over, but I'm still kind of waking up after all." Papyrus muttered out an 'AH' before he answered you. 

"I WANTED YOU TO COME BACK OVER; HOWEVER, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE BUSY OR NOT." Though you didn't actually care if you went back to his house to hang out so soon and you knew he was only asking you because he probably craved social interaction, you should probably wait and lecture the ass off of Alfred before anything else happened. 

"Yeah, I want to," you skimmed the contents of the fridge dissatisfied before shutting the door and grabbing an apple from the fruit basket to your left," but I really have to talk to one of my friends about last night." 

"OH, YOU MEAN ALFRED?"

"Alfred, yeah, wait-" you paused. "How did you know that?" Did you mention Alfred to them? There were definitely parts of your memory that were sort of fuzzy, almost as if a hazy film had been draped over them and you concentrated really hard to dig through what you could remember. 

"WHEN YOU WERE TRAPPED, YOU KIND OF SCREAMED HIS NAME," explained Papyrus as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. 

"I," you stopped. "Papyrus, just how long did you watch me struggle?" 

"A FULL MINUTE." 

"Paps, that's actually kind of creepy, please don't do that anymore," you requested as you sunk your teeth into the apple. You heard Papyrus say 'HUH, WEIRD' before there was shouting towards someone in the background. 'SANS, DID YOU KNOW HUMANS DON'T LIKE BEING WATCHED?' 'no.' 'I THOUGHT IT MADE THEM FEEL SECURE.' 'me, too, bro. this is a godly revelation.' You could detect the sarcasm behind Sans's words, but made no comment as Papyrus seemed to wholeheartedly believe him and you weren't going to be the one to crush him. 

"SO YOU'LL BE COMING AFTER YOU TALK TO ALFRED?" Papyrus earnestly asked and you opened your mouth to interject that you hadn't necessarily agreed to that, but Papyrus sounded so eager and excited to see you again that you deflated and gave in. 

"Sure, I'll do just that." There was clapping and a whoop of happiness on the other end, making you smile. 

"FANTASTIC, (NAME)! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A FULL DAY YET." said Papyrus. 

"I agree," you hummed. "Paps, I've got to go now but I'll see you in a few hours, okay? I'll text you before I come over." 

"OKAY! I'LL WORK ON DISABLING THE TRAPS AND PUZZLES IN MY NECK OF THE WOODS SO THAT YOU CAN SAFELY GET HERE WHILE I COOK US LUNCH SPAGHETTI." It was a nice gesture and you thanked Papyrus as the both of you said your goodbyes before hanging up. After the call ended, your lock screen appeared and you scrolled through all of your messages from Papyrus and grinned at how worried about you he was. The messages from Alfred, however, you barely spared a glance to. Instead, you clicked on Papyrus's number and added him to a new contact to your phone, naming him 'sweetpea papy' before you noticed another number had sent you some messages. 

**(XXX) XXX-XXXX:** hey

 **(XXX) XXX-XXXX:** what did the skeleton say to the human 

You blinked. What. What was this? Some sort of Improv show where you have to awkwardly laugh at the audience and ask "What's the deal with airplane food?" and slap your knee distastefully? Pausing and going over the events of the past day, you deduced that this had to be Sans. Nodding and noticing he had messaged you around midnight, you finally responded. 

**You:** what

You placed your phone beside your tumbler before you grabbed it and took a quick swig, munching on your apple all the while. The silence was almost unbearable as you finished your breakfast, tossing the core of the apple into the trashcan and about to leave the kitchen before your phone vibrated and you heard a saxophone jazz off. Picking the phone up, you noticed Sans had responded. 

**(XXX) XXX-XXXX:** im really lonely pls love me ive no body 

Your spine almost disintegrated as you read his reply, shaking your head before adding him to a new contact, naming him 'sans-sationally enigmatic.' 

**You:** im die

Once you responded, you scurried from the kitchen and almost went back into your room before the sound of loud, insufferable snoring reverberated from within your living room. That must be Alfred. Quickly changing courses, you crept up silently behind the deep violet corduroy couch and glanced down at the limp body. Alfred was eagle spread to the very absolute best to his abilities, limbs splayed out and mouth wide open as the chainsaw noise ripped from his throat. Wow. Impressive. Something within you almost tempted you to leave him there and allow him to sleep in, but another part of you demanded blood. And she wouldn't be satiated. 

So you carefully crouched down, bending your knees slightly as you prepped your body. Seconds ticked by and your breath was baited, ready at any moment to just. Go ahead. And. Jump. 

You pounced over the back of the couch so fast and slammed the balls of your feet into Alfred's back so sharply that Alfred didn't even know what hit him. It was almost like he had his Airpods in. A high-pitched croak spilled from Alfred's lips as the two of you tumbled to the floor in a pile of limbs. 

"Yo, (Name), what the _HELL_ ," shouted Alfred as he rubbed the back of his head, left eye squeezed shut and right eye barely cracked open as his iris settled on your form. "Why in George Bush's name did you feel the need to do that?" You merely shrugged.

"Eh, no reason at all," you said. "Just, uh, just a little irked." 

"From what?" Alfred mumbled, sleep still evident in his voice. It was at that moment, Alfred knew he fucked up. _Kill Bill_ sirens faintly echoed in the distance and Alfred wasn't too sure how he heard them, but whenever he noticed (Name)'s glare, he could hear them. She was about sumo-plex him. Straight into the sea. 

"Mmm, maybe just a _little_ bitter from the night before last," you flexed your arm muscles. 

"Oh, shit. (Name), I already apologized!" whined Alfred, puppy dog eyes appearing on his face as he puckered out his bottom lip. 

"Yeah, you apologized whenever I was still hungover," you yelled. "Do you realize that I just had two skeleton monsters save me? Not one, no, but _two_!" You held out your fingers and counted on them as you said this, watching the look of confusion etch onto Alfred's features. 

"I, uh, say what now?" questioned Alfred, drawing back a little into his shoulders as he said this. "Skeleton monsters? You met a couple of monsters? (Name), you know, I have this one _reeeeally_ good monster friend. Have I shown you the pic-"

"Yes, Alfred, I know," you hollered out exasperatedly," I've seen every single photo you have of him. _TWICE_. I think you've even shown me some photos of his that I don't think I should be allowed to see?" You said the last thing more to your self, but Alfred had tuned you out and was staring off into space as he sighed lovingly. You nearly face-palmed. 

"Yeah, I guess," Alfred was now lost in his own world of flowers and bunnies and kind of cute looking bat monsters. You snapped your fingers in front of his face to get his attention back. 

"Alfred, can you please stop daydreaming about your boyfriend right now?" you almost begged, but you would never stoop that low right before you were about to eradicate this man. "I'm trying to give you a stern talking-to." Blinking away whatever _nasty_ visions he was seeing, Alfred looked at you. 

"Oh, right. You're gonna beat my shit in?" Alfred asked, tone flat as if he had finally come to terms with his sins and accepted his punishment. You tapped your chin in thought, humming as you considered this possibility.

"Nah, I think I'm going to save that for the landlord of the monsters I met," you simply stated. Alfred tilted his head to the side, arching a brow as a sign for you to continue.

"Their landlord is kind of this ginormous dick, so I think I'm gonna rip him a new one," you elaborated.

"I guess that makes sense," said Alfred. "What are their names?" 

"Uh, there's Papyrus, who is a complete and total sweetheart," you began," then there's Sans. He, uh, seemed kind of wary, but, uh, with my _charming_ personality and feminine charm I shall woo him over." 

Alfred rolled his sky blue eyes," Wow, you've had these qualities the whole time? Guess I've been missing out." You straight-up almost falcon-punched him through the ceiling, but you didn't necessarily feel like repairing your ceiling _again_ \- plus who else could you entrust your misery and torment upon? Instead, you deadpanned at him and pointed at your front door. 

"Out," you commanded. Alfred clasped his hands together and held them underneath his chin, letting out a small whimper. 

"Come on, (Name)," Alfred almost sang out. "Don't kick me out, you know you love me." 

"You're right, I shouldn't kick you out," you leaned in threateningly," you deserve so much worse." Alfred gasped, clutching his chest where his heart would be. 

"(Name), you have been nonstop bullying me for the past five minutes," Alfred cried out," Ripping out my gullet at every turn, goddamn. Can I have no dignity?"

"No."

"Please, I'll do anything." 

" _Anything_?"

"Anything!" As soon as the word left Alfred's mouth, you had flung open the front door and gestured to it. 

"Then out." Alfred lifted his index finger to interject and say something, but poker-faced and stood. 

"Fine, fine," he said and walked to the door," if you wanted me out of your house so badly all you had to do was ask, _instead_ of eviscerating me and insulting my honor. But you're gonna regret it because now you have no one to gossip with about your new boos." 

"Alfred, out," you said.

"Or should I say your new _bone-buddies_?" Alfred waggled his eyebrows at you and despite how good that joke really was, you denied him satisfaction and release. 

" **Silence, bottom** ," you ignored his offended gasped. "Now get out of my house, loser." Alfred giggled at you before he finally complied, clucking his tongue at you and casually strolling through the threshold. He gave you a wave, but you simply slammed the door behind his retreating figure. You refused to admit that you would miss him, the angst would be too much if you did. 

Pivoting around and doing a little dance, you snatched up your phone and headed towards the bathroom. You noticed that Sans had sent you another message, so you unlocked your phone to respond to him and turn on some bopping jams. 

**sans-sationally enigmatic:** *naruto runs to your funeral* 

Snorting, you decided to ignore his message for now as you opened the door to your bathroom and flicked the light on. Music drifted from your phone speakers as you set the phone on the sink, The Happy Fits filling up the silence and echoing off of the tiles as you stripped down and turned the knob of your shower. Testing the water and nodding in satisfaction at the temperature, you stepped in and relaxed under the steamy stream. Now that your shoulders released whatever tension was in them and you could clean yourself, you mumbled out the lyrics to whatever song was playing and drifted out of this world. But then you realized...you never asked Alfred how he got in. 

_Damn it!_

* * *

After you stepped out off the shower and put on clothes, you grabbed on your bag and walked towards the door. You slipped on your shoes, opening the door and stepping back outside into the nice, summer weather before you locked your door and bounded down your porch steps. Today was very pleasant: the sun shining down, but not in a miserable sort of way that made sweat literally drip off of your body, but in the sort of way that caressed your exposed skin gently and warmed you. Sighing contently, you began the trek to the woods and shot a text to Papyrus, hoping that he had finished disassembling his traps and puzzles. You really weren't in the mood to be 'japed' again. 

The ten-minute walk seemed to drag on, the trail just stretching out further and further and you never thought you were going to reach the forest at this point. It was probably because you were excited to see the brothers (mostly Papyrus) again, but the small uneasy feeling settling in your chest slightly put you off. 

Maybe the anxious feeling was because you still didn't know exactly what was going on with them. Were Papyrus and Sans in therapy for their PTSD? Did they take any sort of medications? Or had they even received any kind of mental or physical health treatment since they've been on the surface? 

Obviously not, from what you can tell. Papyrus would probably have had braces and given those cool magical glasses that were attached magnetically because they were attracted to the specific wavelength their soul emitted - you know, since he didn't have ears. Sans would have also probably gone under a surgery that put some sort of filling or cap on him like what they do with your teeth, but he still had that ominous, gaping hole in his skull. 

The two of them also probably needed a service animal to bring them down from an attack; however, with a quick reflection, you decided that Sans would be the one to require the animal. Papyrus has his own episodes, of course, but he needs Sans to be okay for him to come down. So if Sans had a service animal that could comfort him and bring him down, it would help ground Papyrus if his PTSD was also triggered. You should probably mention this to them because maybe the only reason they hadn't done anything yet is that they just didn't know they could do ask for help. But you should probably wait until you've hung out with them a few more times so that they don't feel overwhelmed and lie to you, so you nodded in resolve before you glanced up. 

Trees upon trees stretched out for miles before you, the outskirts of the forest looking sparse with the occasional shrub or bush. The deeper in, the thicker the trees tangled together and made it hard for you to see through. Pulling out your phone out and checking your notifications, you saw that Papyrus had sent a text.

 **sweetpea papy:** ALL RIGHT, (NAME)! EVERY TRAP SHOULD BE DISABLED, BUT I DECIDED TO LEAVE YOU A FEW CLUES TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR WAY BACK SINCE I CANNOT BE THERE TO ACCOMPANY YOU AS I AM CURRENTLY PREPARING OUR LUNCH SPAGHETTI. PLEASE BE SAFE AND I WILL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET HERE. :) 

You softly cooed to yourself at Papyrus's generous message and dropped your phone back into your bag. Taking a step forward, you began the tedious trek to their cabin. Now that you were no longer tripping on shrooms or horribly hungover, the trip actually seemed pretty bearable. Each step just seemed to fly by and you spotted the first clue, which happened to just be a giant, blue arrow that pointed north and said 'THIS WAY!!!'

So you went north and continued seeing clue after clue, all of them just being giant arrows that pointed in various directions with instructions on them and little notes that seemed like they should be put in a lunchbox that your mom would make you for lunch in elementary school. It was sweet, though. More endearing than bothering. 

When you caught first sight of the cabin on the horizon, you checked the time and noticed that the walk only took about half an hour. You had left at eleven just to be sure you would arrive in time for lunch and have some time left to spare to mingle with the brothers, but now you really had a lot more than you originally planned. Shrugging carelessly, you finished the journey and quickly bounced up the dangerously creaky steps to their porch. Releasing an exhausted breath, you pivoted around and stepped up to their door. You knocked to the rhythm of 'shave and a haircut, two bits' and waited. 

To your surprise, it was Sans that had opened the door. He stared at you for a solid second before he started to close the door, but you luckily stuck your foot in before he could accomplish that. 

"Hey, man," you said, " your brother invited me over for lunch. Don't cha think it's kind of rude to just slam the door in on my face?" 

"uh, yeah," Sans said casually as he began prodding your foot, trying to remove it so that he can actually shut it. "i can just tell my bro you stood him up and then now i never have to face any of my problems and insecurities when you show up." 

"Sans, isn't that cruel to your brother?" you paused. "And isn't that also a bad coping mechanism?" Sans was silent for a moment as he observed your face, mouth clenched in an uncomfortable grin. 

"yes," he finally responded. What a mood, you thought. 

"Okay, well," you blinked, "don't do that and just let me in." Sans winced, inhaling sharply as he glanced everywhere but you. 

"i don't know, man," he rubbed the back of his neck," that seems like i would have to face my problems and i really don't feel up to that right now." Sans trailed off, just deciding to continuously slam the door in on your foot until you removed it and he could finally latch it up again. 

"I-," you began, "Sans, no. Let me in." He opened his mouth to object, but was cut off by the tenor voice in the background screeching 'SANS, IS SHE HERE?' You smirked victoriously at Sans, waggling your eyebrows while he just released the most defeated sounding sigh in the whole entire world. Very, very painfully slow, the door crept opened and now you could see Sans fully. He was wearing the same outfit, except this time his shirt didn't have any cuts or stains.

"fine, happy now?" You flashed him a toothy grin before walking inside. 

"Yes," you checked him out for a hot second," also, you look nice today." You unsheathed your finger guns as Sans began sputtering out words like a broken faucet before sauntering into the kitchen. Sans was still glitching out behind you, but your eyes examined the state the kitchen was in. Currently, it looked as if someone had thrashed about in a rush because the chairs were strewn everywhere and you're pretty sure confetti is hanging from the ceiling. Papyrus was slaving away over the stove, steam billowing around his face as he squinted and tilted his head dangerously close to the boiling water. 

Due to his position, you saw the extremely strange curvature of his spine. It was unsightly, most likely caused by his incessant need to hunch over to appear -from what you've seen of him so far- more docile than intimidating. He probably also bent over often so he didn't have to squint so hard to actually be able to see, maybe because of how tiny his eye sockets were. 

Papyrus would definitely benefit from a back brace just to help correct the unnatural curl and some therapy lessons to help him come to terms with his gangly height and embrace it. First, however, you thought you should start with a brief suggestion of glasses. You would definitely drive him to a store to test him for some glasses, but you had to see if he was comfortable with coming outside of his shell and interacting with humanity. It may be a little too much socialization for him at once, but if you could convince his brother to come along, there might be a slight chance. 

You must have made a noise of agreement or something along those lines because Papyrus's head snapped in your direction so quickly you thought his neck might break. Honestly, how fast his movements were made you take an involuntary step back, which you immediately regretted. Papyrus noticed and hunched in on himself even further than you thought was possible, casting his eyes to the ground as he resumed stirring whatever was in that pot. 

"UH, (N-NAME)! I THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE HEARD YOU COME IN," he said. "I HOPE YOU FOUND YOUR WAY HERE EASILY ENOUGH AND THAT SANS DIDN'T GIVE YOU TOO MUCH TROUBLE IN THERE." You needed to cover up the accidental mistake if you wanted to optimize your luck with helping them, so you widened your toothy grin to a full-blown, pearly white smile and squeezed your eyes shut.

"Oh, Sans was nothing," you started," and I really appreciate the 'clues' you left me. They were very helpful!" You chirped happily, exuberant whenever Papyrus slowly unfurled himself the tiniest bit and returned your smile. 

"PERFECT! I KNEW YOU WOULD BE JUST AS INTELLECTUAL AS ME," he lifted his free index finger boastfully," SO THAT'S NO SURPRISE THAT MY CLUES WERE NO MATCH FOR YOUR WITS." There was no hateful edge to his comments at all, which meant that Papyrus genuinely believed you were super intelligent as well and was proud of you. 

"Thank you, Papyrus," you giggled. "Is lunch almost ready?" He nodded, answering your question by flicking the burner off and pulling the pot away from the stove.

"IT IS," Papyrus gestured to the corkscrew textured trivets with a shrug of his shoulders," COULD YOU PLEASE GRAB THOSE FOR ME, (NAME)?" You swooped one of them up from the counter, walking to the table with Papyrus and setting the placemat down so he could finally release the piping hot pot and scurried off to get the dishware. Sans appeared to have been summoned at the very quiet thud the pan had made when it hit the trivet, leaning back into his chair lazily before shooting you a finger gun. 

"you also look nice today," it seemed he had struggled on a way to return your compliment for a solid three minutes that you were here and he even seemed to be hesitant if that was the correct way to respond or not. You snapped your fingers before giving him the whip, hand poised out in a fistbump motion. Sans blanked at you and your eyes rolled, of course. He knew about naruto running but not the whip and nae-nae?

Before you could even begin explaining yourself, Papyrus came back with bowls and utensils. Handing a set collectively to each person before you and Papyrus sat down beside each other. There wasn't really any talking as Papyrus grabbed yours and dumped a few spoonfuls of some kind of soup into your bowl. It was a very vibrant pumpkin orange color, so you assumed it must be either pumpkin, tomato, or carrot soup. You thanked him, waited for Papyrus and Sans, and quickly dove in. 

Oh, yeah. It was tomato soup, but god-tier tomato soup. You actually almost moaned into your mouthful but managed to refrain long enough to swallow and look up at Papyrus. 

"God, Papyrus," you breathily whispered," why is your cooking so freakin' amazing? I could eat anything you give me _aaaaaall_ day!" A blush stained almost his entire face as he looked at you, quickly glancing at Sans who kind of looked like the confused cat with the lady screaming at him meme, before he focused his attention on his soup. 

"NYEH, HEH, HEH!" he laughed," OF COURSE! I AM THE WORLD'S MOST SUPREME CHEF AFTER ALL. BUT THANK YOU VERY MUCH, (NAME). LIKE I SAID, YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME." You wouldn't doubt it, considering how your taste buds seemed to legit have a party whenever you ate his food. Though you know you still wanted to have a small questionnaire with them, you knew that your mind would be off in its own little world until after you were done. 

Eh, helping horribly traumatized people _after_ eating wasn't morally wrong. Was it?


	4. es ist party angesagt,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're also curious, the title means "come, let's love; goodbye, beautiful." 'Bello' is the masculine Italian word for beautiful. 'Bella, ciao' is a popular Italian song and the Germans made a party music version of the song that's kind of cute, which is where the German part of the title comes from.

"AND THAT'S THE STORY OF HOW I ONCE MANAGED TO STRANGLE A MONSTER WITH A SPORK AND THREE PACKAGES OF STRING CHEESE," gloated Papyrus, thrusting his arm in the air with the proudest smile dancing across his cheekbones. Sans just happily looked at his brother, his one red orb a star before chuckling to himself and looking at you. 

"my bro's so cool, huh?" Lunch was finished and now you were helping these guys clear off the table, all but dropping the various dishes into the sink. It was to your insistence that Papyrus even dared to think about allowing you to help them, so he forced his brother to deal with the main load as he began siphoning the soup into a sealable container and placing it inside of the refrigerator. Whenever Papyrus was turned around, you quickly moved your hands underneath the giant pile Sans cradled between his arms and helped him lift them over the top of the sink to deposit them. 

"That's actually really curious," you looked on at them wearily. "Monsters had string cheese underground?" Sans nodded his gratitude to you before pushing you aside and tossing a washrag towards you, winking as he filled the sink up to the brim with water. Papyrus turned around after that, eyebrows scrunched up. 

"OF COURSE," he stated matter-of-factly. "WE, MONSTERS, HAVE A SUPERB PALATE! IT'S A NO BRAINER THAT WE WOULD HAVE STRING CHEESE." You snorted as Papyrus joined you, grabbing the dish-soap and squeezing a gracious amount into the growing pool of floating plates. The washrag in your hands felt damp, so you concluded that Sans implied you were going to be the one to wash the dishes. Huffing in annoyance but rolling your eyes playfully, you pushed up the sleeves to your shirt and dipped your arms into the scorching hot water. A gasp left your mouth and you shot a glare towards Sans. 

"Bro, did you for real have to turn the water on this high?" you muttered. 

"skin-melting water kills the germs," Sans shrugged lazily. Papyrus glanced down at your figure then looked over towards his brother, deadpanning and gently bumping your shoulder to scooch you towards the drying side of the sink. You complied and mouthed a 'thank you' to him. 

"AND IT ALSO IS SKIN-MELTING, SANS," Papyrus monotoned. Seeing as Papyrus was made of bones, sinking his hands into the water did not visibly affect him, but that didn't stop you from wincing. "YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE CONSIDERATE OF OUR FRIEND. SWEEPING THE KITCHEN ISN'T ENOUGH." Sans' head seemed to roll on his shoulders as he glanced around the room, sinking into the fur around his parka. 

"was only dusting," he murmured out but cracked a small, shy smile to his brother. "i'll try more." Though you had known them for only two days, you could tell that Sans was very apathetic and lazy while his brother was more high-strung and obsessive. You cataloged that information for later, if you ever managed to get them started on therapy that is. 

"GOOD," said Papyrus, "NOW COME ON, HELP (NAME) DRY THE DISHES." After that, Sans fell into place beside you and slowly picked up each dish and rubbed off excess water in a calculated and lagging motion, almost as if he couldn't go any faster. You brushed it off, assuming it had to deal with his injuries and was nothing you needed to fix, and helped dry off half of the load. 

The afternoon continued on like this, doing the dishes. It was nice and for a split second, you felt like you had known these two for all of your life. Flanked on both sides and bumping into each other jokingly as you passed plates and puns, you almost couldn't believe that you hadn't. 

* * *

Papyrus had waved you off, telling you that the arrows had the opposite directions on the backside on how to get out of the forest and that he wasn't able to walk you back because he had to go on patrol soon and that he had put it off for too long the past few days anyway. You nodded and told him that it was no big deal, that his directions were easy enough to follow. True to your word, you had managed to stumble out of the forest and shuffle your way back to your home. 

Now you lay flopped on your couch, yawns escaping you left and right as you blindly texted Alfred that he needed to call you soon because you weren't entirely done chewing him out. A few minutes later, your phone was buzzing and the piano riff trilled out from the speakers as you answered and pressed the phone to your ear.

"What is up my _verta-brother_?" Alfred's tenor voice leaked into your eardrums and you almost winced in pain. 

"Okay, so, first off," you said, "Stop hanging out with Gamzee so much. Two, I need your help with something." Alfred giggled insanely and you shook your head disapprovingly, and you knew that he couldn't see you but he could sense you. 

"Come on, (Name)," Alfred snickered, "he just gives me those delicious pies of his." 

"Oh, my God," you almost cried. "No wonder you have almost died exactly four times." 

"Nah, that's just because I'm stupid," Alfred responded. "Anyhow, what did you need help with?" 

"So, those skeletons I met," you began, "They're both in a really serious crisis. I have no clue about where to start to look for any kind of help or attention that they would benefit from since I don't really know much about monster healthcare." 

"Yeah, of course, you wouldn't know," Alfred joked, "you're not a monster. Plus, their healthcare system is a lot different than humans'." You furrowed your brows and huffed. Monsters could receive any sort of treatment with no cost, seeing as a lot of the times, monsters only had to go the hospital if it was something life-threatening as their green magic healed most normal things that a human would have to take aspirin or antibiotics to heal. Papyrus and Sans weren't necessarily in a life or death situation right now, but they definitely needed to be treated immediately. 

When you had been eating with them today, you tried to pay attention to how they ate whenever you weren't orgasming over that soup. Sans seemed to just eat as fast as he possibly could, only occasionally scrutinizing his surroundings as if he were about to fight someone off for that meal. Occasionally, his jaw would pop out and he would have to gingerly slide it side-to-side to hook it back in. 

Papyrus had been a little similar, if not more drastic. He tried not to scour the room too much as he ate, but the way he hunched over his food seemed like he was trying to conceal it from prying eyes. In the daylight, you noticed the giant fracture on the left side of his jawline. Each bite that he took, it seemed like it was going to crack fully and his jaw would be left dangling on the right side. That thought had made you uneasy, so you glanced away and sized up his teeth. They were the obvious source of his stutter and lisp, yeah, with that smashed bottom jawline. There were a few of his teeth that hooked over one another and sometimes would get stuck in a fray of a different tooth, Papyrus would jerk whenever he didn't realize his teeth were snagged on one another and almost yanked the overlaying tooth out. You had cringed with him, feeling your gums thump just at the thought of accidentally ripping some of your teeth out. 

He's a skeleton, so the fear must be tenfold for him. 

"I'm aware," you snapped. "I'm asking for your help because you live together with a monster. He would know better than anyone else on where to go or what exactly to look for." You heard Alfred click his tongue against his teeth on the other end of the line, obviously thinking about how to respond.

"So you wanna talk to Fangs?" questioned Alfred. Fangs was Alfred's soulmate. He was a bat-like monster with huge ears and a cute leaf-shaped nose at the end of his snout. He kind of reminded you of Batty Coda from Ferngully, but with brown fur and black accents. They had met a few months after monsters surfaced; Alfred had family in Old Ebott - the small town around Mt. Ebott, where the monsters were trapped under - and happened upon Fangs during a visit. They've been together since. 

"That's why I asked," you declared. If anyone could help you out, it was Fangs. 

"Okay, gimme a sec," there was some shuffling and then you could hear Alfred walking into a different room. You picked up their conversation: 'Hey, (Name) needs you.' 'Okay, love. May I have the phone?' 'Sure.' With that, Alfred had passed the phone onto Fangs. 

"Good day. What could I possibly help you with, (Name)?" Fangs' nasally voice rang through your ear, his pleasantries not forsaken and you couldn't help but smile at how polite he always was. 

"Hey, Fangs," you greeted. "I'm glad I caught you while you were awake. I need a few recommendations on where to take monsters in distress." It was not unusual for Fangs to stay awake until now, especially with his reverse-insomnia. He always slept through the day due to him being a bat-monster, but lately, a wave of insomnia had struck him and he stays up pretty far into the afternoon. 

"What kind of monsters?" asked Fangs. "What kind of distress are they in?" 

"Uh, they're skeleton monsters," you elaborated, "Severe trauma to several areas of their body. They also need counseling or therapy, maybe both." 

"That's not entirely what I meant," Fangs drawled out. "Are they boss monsters or normal monsters?" 

"Why should that matter?" you still had absolutely no clue what that meant, except that Fangs happened to be a 'normal' monster. Did healthcare treatment differ between the two sub-categories? 

"If they're normal monsters," he began," then they can just go into a monster hospital and receive help for their afflictions, usually a few treatments of green magic and they're fine. But boss monsters..." Fangs trailed off, clearly thinking over whatever could be done for them.

"Boss monsters need to not only go to a monster hospital but a human one, as well," stated Fangs. "That's because they're magic is stronger and humans will know how to set any bad injuries into place. Can you describe the type of injuries incurred?" 

"One of them had a blow to the head, there's a giant hole there," you explained what was wrong with Sans. "The other needs some serious dental work to fix how messed up his teeth and jaws are, maybe some glasses. He also has a hunchback, which needs to be corrected." Papyrus seemed to be in more desperate need of help, but this was only on the surface, you didn't know too much of monster biology and health. 

"Do you know their HP?" Uh, now that was one thing you did understand about monsters. Everyone had an 'HP' and when it dropped to zero, their soul shattered. Humans could live on without their souls, so it only mattered if they were physically killed. Monsters, however, dusted away whenever their souls were destroyed. Unfortunately, only monsters knew how to check HP - it was a skill you were jealous of. 

"No, they haven't told me too much," you answered. 

"All right," Fangs sighed out tiredly, " so you don't know their HP and you don't know if they're boss monsters or not, lovely." You could feel how exhausted Fangs was just by the mere sound of his voice and your shoulders drooped in sadness, a part of you wishing you knew more but you couldn't help if these weren't questions many monsters felt comfortable answering after the first few hangout sessions. 

"I'm really sorry, Fangs," you apologized. "I just figured that you would know what kind of places I can go to receive help for them." 

"No, don't worry," he said. " You said they were skeletons monsters, right?" You confirmed him. 

"Interesting," Fangs started," I knew a couple of skeleton monsters whenever I was underground. Both of them were boss monsters and sub-species tend to stay in the same category. So, I would like to assume that these skeletons are also boss monsters." 

"Then what kind of hospitals do you recommend for boss monsters?" you wearily asked, wondering if this search was going to be fruitless. Sans and Papyrus needed help soon, especially now that you were adding in a bunch of factors. What if they dusted away before they were able to receive treatment because of their various mental and physical health conditions? What happens if they have an expiration date? What if you were too late already? You tried to shake those thoughts from your head and returned your attention back to the phone call, but the thoughts nibbled away at the edges of your conscious. 

"I know a few places, (Name)," Fangs finally spoke up after a few moments of silence, more than likely reflecting on what would be the best options. "I can send you the links to their websites and their numbers if you would like?" 

"Fangs, I would more than appreciate that," you gushed out. "Thank you so much for your help." 

"It's not a problem," he brushed off your gratitude, "I'll send them as soon as Alfred takes the phone back." You, once again, profusely thanked Fangs as you heard Alfred call out your name dramatically and snatch the phone back.

"Hey, (Name)," Alfred's obnoxious laugh rang through the phone so loudly that you're pretty sure it shook your house, too," It feels like it's been ages."

"Goodbye, Alfred," you said and moved the phone away from your ear to hang up, but he shouted at you to wait. 

"Hold on, you didn't need anything else?" Alfred's tone changed from joking to serious, so you knew that he might have heard the conversation with Fangs.

"No, thank you," you rested the phone on your head and you turned on your side, snuggling into the couch. "Fangs told me all I needed to know, but I appreciate the concern." 

"Hmm, okay," Alfred grumbled out, "but if you need help with anything else, don't hesitate to call." 

"I won't," you yawned out," Talk to ya later, Alfie." With that, you ended the call and pulled the quilt from the side of the couch over your body. You needed a quick powernap before you started looking through different places for the boys and Fangs' messages hadn't come yet, so you thought it was all right. Sleep tugged down your eyelids and you would be damned if you stared at a phone screen for hours on end without rest, so with a quiet sigh of resolve, you fell asleep. 

* * *

A full week later and with enough research to put a college essay to shame, you finally came to a conclusion. Though you didn't know Sans or Papyrus' HP, you were able to fill out their issues on all of those quizzes the websites offered to give you results on what exactly the boys needed. 

For Papyrus, you had been given the number of a fairly talented, jack-of-all-trades sort of human dentist that could handle shaving down Papyrus' teeth and applying braces. He would have to visit a monster dentist to set his jaw right and heal it correctly, but luckily the place of the first dentist had mixed employees and his mouth could be fixed in two appointments. The website had recommended an apothecary that had back braces and could be customized specifically for Papyrus' unusual height. What to do on his eyesight and getting glasses, however, was left up to interpretation. All that was recommended was an MTT General Use Department Store - the Walmart of monsters, basically - and buying a pair of readers for him. Useful but frustrating. 

For Sans, the only place that had been recommended was a joint monster-human hospital. There was a procedure he could go under that put in a filling where that gaping hole was, they would place a magic film underneath the hole to stop them from going too far in and hurting him and then be able to seal up the hole. Magic would be able to erase any visible scars, but Sans would have to be extremely careful for nearly a full year afterward if he wanted it to heal into place and stay permanently. You didn't know any more of what was wrong with Sans yet, something inside of you screamed that his empty socket was blind and maybe he was blind in his other eye, too; so maybe after hanging out with them a few more times, you'd gather enough information to help him. 

For both of them, the website had given you the number of this place you had gone to therapy to before. Since you were already aware of how they functioned, you had done some scouring through their page and found that they would both have to do an orientation to be assessed for what they individually needed. Until then, you had nothing more on what they could receive. 

Proud of what you've found, you shot a text to Papyrus asking him if he wanted to hang out. You had seen the boys a few times since you're last lunch and each time you came over, they seemed to be waiting for you by the door. Papyrus openly expressed how much he enjoyed your company and how glad he was that you befriended him, smiling down at you like you were the greatest thing in the world. Every time he looked at you like this, your heart fluttered from your chest. Papyrus always had some sort of activity for the two of you whenever you came over, such as puzzles or watching MTT reruns. 

It was very obvious that Papyrus easily became attached, likely due to the abandonment issues he's facing. Sans, you noticed, seemed hesitant of you at first. He joked with you and roasted you quite frequently, but sometimes there was an edge to his tone that wasn't needed. Sans didn't seem bothered with puffing his chest out and flaring his metaphorical feathers at you, signaling that he could hurt you if you even dare to step out of line. You figured he thought you would try to attack them or try to break his brother mentally (more than he already was, of course). Sans had some neurotic tendencies that needed attention, but you went along with it for now. 

Especially after you had shown Sans that you weren't a threat whenever his brother accidentally knicked himself with a cutting knife and you had cooed and cradled Papyrus' hand as you patched it up. Since then, Sans seemed to be okay with you. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you were jostled out of your thoughts, pulling your phone out and reading Papyrus' response. 

**sweetpea papy:** COOL! I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO COME OVER. WOULD YOU LIKE FOR ME TO PREPARE US DINNER SPAGHETTI? I KNOW THAT YOU HAD SPAGHETTI WITH US JUST LAST NIGHT, BUT I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING DINNER WITH YOU AGAIN. I SERIOUSLY WOULD ENJOY MAKING YOU THE BEST DINNER SPAGHETTI IN THE WORLD. DID I MENTION THAT I COULD MAKE SPAGHETTI, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE. 

**You:** Of course, but I actually was going to swing by and pick us up some take out. 

**You:** Anything specific? I can do Chinese, fast food, etc. 

Papyrus hadn't even said it was all right to come over, so you assumed he was afraid of you backtracking and made the decision final for you. A frown etched onto your face and you glanced down at your feet, saddened. This boy needed some counseling on how to handle friendships or, possibly, he just needed better friends. 

**sweetpea papy:** WE COULD NEVER ASK YOU TO EXPEND YOUR GOLD TO US AND BUY US FOOD. IT FEELS LIKE WE MAY BE STEPPING OVER A LINE THERE. PLEASE, IT REALLY IS NO BOTHER TO MAKE YOU SPAGHETTI!!!!

 **You:** I know that, but I feel guilty with you always working yourself to the /bone/ on food for me. 

**You:** Please, let me buy you something to eat. 

If they had starved underground, you realize why this might be a big deal to them. If someone was close to them, they might not mind sharing food, but it must have been very sacred or intimate. The thought made heat rise to your face and you had to hold back a sob, thinking how much they must have attached themselves to you because of their conditions. What kind of human would you be if you let them suffer on any longer? You had to talk to them tonight, ask them some more details about what had made them this way. 

**sweetpea papy:** I GUESS IF WE CAN NOT SWAY YOU, I WOULDN'T MIND TRYING THIS CHINESE. GET ME WHATEVER YOU FEEL I WOULD LIKE! I TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT. SANS SAID HE WANTED A BURGER AND FRIES, EVEN THOUGH I CHASTIZED HIM ABOUT EATING HEALTHIER, HE JUST WANTS THAT GREASY GOOP. 

**You:** Can do. Does he want anything specific on his burger?

A few seconds after you had sent that text, your phone buzzed off and you had noticed that Sans had messaged you. 

**sans-sationally enigmatic:** whatever ya wanna get me, sweetheart ;))

You rolled your eyes and pocketed your phone, grabbing your bag and slipping on your shoes. Your brain was running wild with ideas on how to bring up such a sensitive topic to the boys, but you knew this couldn't go on any longer. Walking outside and going to your car, a nervous feeling bubbled up inside of your chest. This could possibly trigger another attack for them or you could enrage them so much that they kick you out of their home and tell you to never return, leaving them to rot away in this abandoned forest and never be heard from again. 

You hope nothing too terrible goes wrong. 

* * *

There was a small parking lot and a park near the edge of the woods, so you stopped your car there and hopped on out. You had hoofed it all the way to the boys' house from there since the distance only added a few more minutes to the original travel time. Papyrus had texted you a few times to ask when you would arrive, what you had bought, and if you wanted to stay the night. 

The latter option sounded tempting, but you were afraid that asking them about their past might put a damper on the night and politely declined. You had informed him that you would love to, but tomorrow you had to do some work and needed a proper night's sleep - just so he didn't think you were purposefully blowing him off. 

You were a published author and you needed to continue working on your latest novel, so it hadn't been entirely a lie. All of the research and work you had been doing for Papyrus and Sans had consumed you this last week, thus meaning you hadn't worked on the finishing chapters of your book. Only a little bit of guilt ate away at you from brushing it off, just a little. 

Whenever you had arrived at their house, you carefully bounded up the steps and readjusted the plastic bags of take-out in your arms. You had made sure to buy plenty of food, hoping to make them as comforted and safe feeling as possible before you hit them with the doozy of a question. You lifted a fist and knocked a few times on the door, but before you were even finished, the door was nearly flung off of its hinges and Papyrus stood there with the biggest smile on his face and his eye sockets crinkled up in happiness. Lowering your poised fist, you returned his gesture as you shifted your weight and held out the plastic bags. 

"Hi, Paps," you started and Papyrus moved out of the way after grabbing ahold of the bags, allowing you to enter their home," I gift you with deliciousness!" You held your arms out in a 'ta-da' motion, giving him an open-mouthed expression. Papyrus glanced down at the food, then at you, opened the bags to peek inside, then looked back at you, and finally back to the bag. He didn't respond and this began to worry you, but then you heard a sniffle from him. Within seconds, you rushed to Papyrus' side and wrapped an arm around his waist. 

"Hey, hey," you cooed to him softly," What's wrong?" A few tangerine orange-hued tears slipped out of Papyrus' eyes, trailing down his cheekbones and dripping onto his jumper. Sans appeared out of nowhere, leaning in extremely close to Papyrus' face. 

"did she hurt you?" he asked and suddenly a stunning glare was fixated on you. Out of natural instinct, you lifted you free hand in the air for the universal signal of 'I'm harmless.' Papyrus shook his head and you felt his shoulders tense up, casting his line of sight anywhere other than where you and Sans stood. 

"NO, NO, DEFINITELY NOT," he released a small hiccup," I JUST...THIS WAS SO KIND OF YOU, (NAME). WE HAVEN'T HAD ANYONE THAT REALLY CARED ABOUT US GIVE US FOOD IN SUCH A LONG TIME AND I'M AT A LOSS AT WHAT TO SAY TO YOU. WORDS COULDN'T DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW." Papyrus wiped his eyes and looked down at you, that twinkle in his eye sockets that you've seen many a time that made you feel like the sun of this solar system. Your heart thundered against your chest and you released a shaky breath, Sans followed suit and shifted his gaze away from you as he realized what was wrong. He definitely related more to what Papyrus had said than you did because they both experienced starvation together, and the bond between them must be stronger than normal. 

"Oh, Papyrus," you had to control the dams from breaking and letting you cry in front of them at how much this broke your heart, " it really is nothing. You don't have to worry about it, I'd do this for you all of the time." Sans' head snapped towards you, his eye sockets were wide and a slight flush dashed on his face. His red orb was hazy, unfocused like he was thinking about something and not really looking at you. You took a step back and guided Papyrus into the kitchen, a few moments later and you heard Sans' uneven and strangely weight steps clop behind the two of you. 

Papyrus didn't give you a response, but he hummed at your words and broke free from your hold to move the bags onto the table. You went for the drawer that you knew had cutlery, grabbing out a fork for Papyrus. Sans's meal was finger-food and you were going to use chopsticks to eat your lo mein noodles, but you figured that Papyrus would have such a hard time adjusting to the chopsticks with his lanky hands and required a fork. When you turned, you saw that Papyrus and Sans were sitting side by side, the styrofoam boxes placed in the respective spots of where each of you would sit. 

By the time you sat down and handed Papyrus his fork, Sans had already ripped open his box and dipped his fries into the unhealthy amount of ketchup that you had requested for the side. Now that the fry was drenched in a dollop of ketchup, he dropped his maw and shoved it in. 

"damn, kid," Sans' gruff whisper came out in a warble," ya got grillby's?" You grinned in affirmation, opening the lid to your box and popping apart your chopsticks. Sans just gave you a curt nod, but you didn't miss the look of almost pure ecstasy that danced across his features. Papyrus glanced down at the box before him and hastily worked to undo the lid, smiling up at you. 

"WOWIE, (NAME)!" exclaimed Papyrus. "GRILLBY'S IS ONE OF MY BROTHER'S FAVORITE PLACES. THOUGH, WHENEVER WE WERE UNDERGROUND, BUSINESS STILLED AND ONCE WE SURFACED, SANS HASN'T YET GOTTEN A CHANCE TO TASTE IT." 

"Oh, really? Huh," you said more to yourself, but now everything clicked. Whenever you had asked for an unhealthily large amount of ketchup and said it for a monster that lacked some _weight on their bones,_ the bartender just released a single understanding chuckle and turned the bottle all the way upside down and left it like that for a solid thirty seconds. It was really awkward at that moment, but now it made sense. The bartender must have remembered Sans from underground before he had become trapped in solitude and starvation, hence the insane heaping of ketchup in the corner. 

"IT'S TRUE!" Papyrus chattered in excitement, "I'M VERY CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU'VE GOTTEN ME NOW, SINCE YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB WITH MY BROTHER. I BET IT WILL BE DELICIOUS _AND_ HEALTHY." Papyrus shot a fleeting glare towards Sans at the end of his sentence, which Sans pointedly decided to ignore and continued scarfing down his fries. You looked at Papyrus, who gave you an exasperated shrug of his shoulders and shook his head disappointedly as he flopped his arms on the tabletop. 

"I hope you like it," you chirped, "it's one of my favorite Chinese foods." Papyrus picked up his fork the moment he looked upon the noodles, stabbing in and twirling the utensil around like he was swirling up spaghetti. He lifted it towards his mouth and steadied it, then slowly took a bite. He chewed extremely carefully, silence heavy in the room as you eagerly awaited his verdict. 

After what felt like ages, Papyrus finally swallowed. You wiggled your eyebrows at him and waved your hand in a gesture at the box of lo mein, wanting to know if he liked it or not. But Papyrus didn't respond. In fact, his eye sockets seemed to see right through you and a heave escaped him. Sans immediately dropped the fry in his hand, twisting his body around fully to look at his brother. You set your box of noodles down and pushed it to the side, then you reached out to hold his shaking hands and lowered his box down as well. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes and at your touch, they flowed freely and Papyrus was sobbing. 

Sans jumped in his seat and you stood up, the scrape of the chair against tiles loud and screechy as you moved to comfort Papyrus. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" you voice came out in a hushed whisper. "Did you not like the food? I can get you something else, it's okay." But Papyrus's body vibrated and racked with sobs, he shook his head carefully before he spoke up. 

"TH-THAT'S NOT IT," his voice cracked and strained, but he looked you dead in the eyes and your heart dropped. "IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST THAT. THAT THIS TASTES SO MUCH BETTER THAN HUMAN _EVER_ COULD."


	5. ab in den süden :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has some rather graphic scenery and heavy imagery included. This is Horrortale, so it shouldn't be a shock. I also filled in holes where I felt needed since Horrortale isn't fully developed yet, so be warned because I do involve my own headcanons! Have fun :))

There was nothing good that could come out of this, Sans knew that. He had seen enough human TV dramas to know that their horrific past would be revealed and then the kind heroine of their story would feel betrayal and, though he dared not fathom it because it just put a sour taste in his mouth, fear. 

She was too nice, too clean for them. Her pretty face and calming words, her soothing actions that could ground him whenever all he could see was blood and death. You were most definitely their soulmate and there wasn't a trace of doubt in his mind that told him otherwise, but Sans knew this was all wrong. 

You _were_ their soulmate, just not _theirs_. 

He and his brother came from another universe, one strung so similarly and closer to this prime original. There would have hardly been any difference had that _fucking_ human not came through and wreaked havoc on them, killing the king and taking the souls and any last chance they had to leave that forsaken mountain. Frisk had seemed so nice, so adoring. They had befriended everyone that was along their path to the barrier and there was hope. 

No one knew what happened as soon as Frisk bounded along and brushed shoulders with Sans in a friendly manner, his smile genuine as he judged them and found that their ruby red soul was pure and filled with love and determination. Sans' head raised a fraction of an inch at that moment, his soul thrumming excitedly against his ribs as he pictured his life above ground with Papyrus and his friends and long-awaited _freedom_. 

It was almost as if they had snapped. Frisk egged King Asgore along, wearing down his defenses as they mercifully spared him, refusing to fight anyone at all. Then, right as Asgore lowered his trident and defeatedly smiled up at Frisk, they struck him. Swiping a blade straight across his chest and Asgore choking on blood, the hit coming out of nowhere and too powerful of an attack to survive. He had been dusted almost instantly. 

Frisk crushed a pretty, yellow flower that had begged relentlessly for forgiveness on their trek to the barrier, sounding more and more desperate the closer the sole of their brown boot came to his face. Yet they pursued forward, snatching up the six souls from those glass vials and letting them finally fade away before walking straight through the barrier - alone. 

Or, at least, that's what Papyrus had told him. Sans couldn't remember a single thing of the kid, except that they were friends and - at one point in time - proud of them. Whenever Undyne slammed that pretty blue spear straight through his skull, his HP had dropped down to a tenth of its original amount. He had been left on the ground, bleeding uncontrollably and panting and moaning out for his brother. _That_ he could remember. 

Undyne finally came to and realized what she had committed, sheer abhor draping across her features as her eyes darted back and forth between Sans and Alphys. She warbled out excuses and apologies but Alphys' stare was cold and dead as she looked down at Sans. This had been her idea, after all: harvest the raw power of Sans' magic, use it to rekindle the CORE and help with the starvation. 

He had blacked out after that, the trauma dealt to his skull knocked out whatever was left in him and he was left for weeks fading in and out of consciousness. Undyne had picked up his frail body, parts of him chipping off and dusting away as she sprinted all the way through Hotland, through Waterfall, and finally arrived in the outskirts of Snowdin. Emerald-hued tears were streaming down Undyne's face and splotching onto his cheekbones, magic seeping into his pores and had it not been for the healing aspect of her green magic, he would have died right on the spot. His SOUL was edged on to keep living, to keep pounding until there was a faint tug on one of his heartstrings. 

Papyrus. 

Papyrus was here, he would make all of the bad things go away like he always had. The sheer amount of times Sans had cried into his arms once Frisk had abandoned them, the guilt that had eaten away at the innards of his conscious. Then he tried blaming himself, telling Papyrus that he had judged their soul so terribly wrong and that had he checked them just one last time, then maybe he could have spotted the small ounce of evil that lurked within. But Papyrus never blamed him, refused to blame him. 

Sans had looked up into Papyrus' radiating smile and his gleaming eye-lights when there were tears pooling on the edges of his sockets, nasal cavity scrunched up and mouth drawn so tightly as he sobbed out and Sans felt the air leave him. His younger brother still looked down at him with that adoring gaze and, suddenly, everything felt all right again. Even if it was only for that moment and that the hunger would soon start to gnaw on their bones again, but Sans felt safe. 

He still felt safe as Undyne gingerly passed his body into Papyrus' arms and cried out and said she hadn't meant to do it, just life was _so_ so hard right now. Papyrus never faulted anyone, never guilted them, never pointed blame. He was too good for that. Though he brushed off whatever nonsense Undyne was spewing out and focused his attention solely on his brother, the bond between their souls so tight and supplying a lifeline of sorts for Sans. Papyrus poured his very being into his healing magic as he tried to sustain Sans' life, ignoring the pangs of hunger that angrily drummed against his chest as he tried to save his brother. 

It was thanks to Papyrus that Sans was even alive right now, even if he didn't feel all that alive at times. 

Whenever Sans had been confined to his bed because of his wounds, his sockets always black and empty, Papyrus never once dropped his efforts in nursing Sans back to health. There were times he came to, but everything was fuzzy and hazy and it felt like he had smoked up an entire acre of echo flowers, and he couldn't even properly see his brother.

Instead, he was haunted by a man with a white face that was melting off and dripping white goop onto his chest, his smirk growing wider and wider and consuming his entire visage as he leaned dangerously close to Sans. 

He had tried fighting, tried to kick this horrible man away but he couldn't do anything. It was like he was pinned down to the bed as if he were in a psych ward and they had belted down his ankles and wrists. He was paralyzed as this horrifying man rumbled out a few raspy chuckles and lifted his hand, a giant hole cut out of his metacarpals that had dust whisking away into the air and swirling around Sans' face torturously. Sans cried and cried as the man's phalanges approached the apples of his face and casually stroked his index finger down, mimicking some sort of a comforting motion but only filling Sans with dread. 

Papyrus had wrapped his arms around Sans' midriff as he struggled to get away, obviously not seeing what his brother was and panicking that his brother would further damage his HP and die. Each and every time that Sans had one of these nightmares during his coma, Papyrus tried his best to wane Sans through them. 

Sans couldn't understand who this man was and he was unable to shake the familiar feeling his touch held, he just wanted **away**. He screamed and he clawed out, Papyrus flinching away and dodging his hazardous hands each time. Papyrus always had to close his eyes whenever he tried to sooth his brother though this, afraid to look upon the blank abysses set into Sans' skull. There wasn't a single thing in his eyes and Papyrus tried to hush the voice inside of him that screamed that Sans was already dead. 

But they both made it through that. It had been almost a full month before Sans finally pulled through his coma and things weren't blurry anymore. 

Sans numbly sat up in his bed, the blanket falling down to his hips as he stared forward robotically. He felt nothing, pure, absolute nothing. He didn't even breathe at all, figure stilled as he started tapping his fingers against his femurs. This went on for another half an hour until Papyrus softly pushed open the door, a tray in his hand with a couple of medicine bottles and a bowl of spaghetti. Papyrus stumbled over himself as he pulled into a halt, the tray almost crashing to the ground as he fumbled to regain his composure. His brother was awake. Sans was awake! 

Then Papyrus looked into his eyes and his jaw fell in horror, trembled as his sockets widened into two saucers. Underneath that gaping hole and spindling cracks, his left eye socket had a giant blood-red orb. It had flickered to Papyrus' form whenever he had entered and Sans realized that he could no longer see from his right eye, the small, white eye-light dimmed so much that it wasn't even visible anymore. 

His smile was tight and Papyrus had to calm his breathing to keep from slipping into a panic attack as soon as he saw the state his brother was in, blind and skull broken beyond magic's repair. He just shuffled forward and began spooning out noodles for him, training his focus on the bowl because he just couldn't think about Sans' injuries right now. He didn't want to face that reality. 

This was when Sans realized that he would do anything to keep his brother safe. His brother who was so absolutely devoted to keeping his health stable and heaving him from death's grip, who was so caring and forgiving and sweet, who the world didn't deserve. Sans would do whatever it took. He would do _anything_ for Papyrus. 

Especially once the hunger became too much for them to bare through. Time after time, Papyrus would collapse in the snow and shiver helplessly because he was too weak to continue. Starvation finally ripped through him fully, tearing down his last defenses and he fainted. Whenever Sans found his brother passed out in the mounds of snow, dusted over with falling snowflakes and almost burying him alive, he snapped. 

Sans couldn't handle seeing his brother suffer anymore. The magic that was usually in the air had dulled so much that Sans could no longer call upon healing magic to cure his brother's fatigue; if he could even remember how to do it. Sans was too pathetically feeble now, could hardly use any other magic besides summoning bone attacks and gaster blasters. And he grossly sobbed out as he slid his arms underneath Papyrus' ribs and pulled him from the snow, clinging desperately to his cuirass. He convoked every bit of magic still left pumping through his body to teleport them back to the house, still crying into Papyrus' body as he finally came to. 

The surge of magic must have awoken him, but Sans wished he would have stayed passed out longer just so that he didn't have to see his older brother cry once more. Papyrus puckered up and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Sans, rubbing circles soothingly into his back to let his brother know everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't. And now Sans was angry with himself. 

Papyrus shouldn't have to comfort his older brother like this after he had just collapsed from lassitude, it should be Sans that's helping _him_. He just didn't know what he could do anymore, there's was no end in sight to this hunger and everything was bleak. 

Until another human fell down. 

Then Sans knew what he would have to do. His brother had seemed so keen, ready to eagerly usher them to Undyne to begin collecting souls again and maybe Sans and Papyrus would live to see the barrier finally being torn down. From the sidelines, Sans lurked and watched. It was a cute dream and even cuter to watch the glimmer of hope spark back up into Papyrus' soul, the bond shared between the two brothers nipping at Sans as well. Even as much as his heart begged for him to give in to that hope and help the human solve his brother's puzzle, their skin just looked so...so soft. So tender. So _delicious_. 

As soon as that thought popped into this mind, Sans hastily shook and smacked his skull. No, he couldn't do that. Papyrus would be absolutely crushed, but his brother - he was just so _hungry_. Before Sans could even realize what he'd done, he'd already lured the human away from his brother's puzzles and then they were gone. 

Several jagged bones pierced through their midriff, pools of blood waterfalling and coating the ground a nice crimson. The cold chilled the blood, turning it a murky brown before freezing over. Fear had flashed in their eyes and the muscles suddenly loosened, expression calming into death while the life drained from them with each droplet of blood. Sans shuddered and stumbled backward, hand shooting up to his agape mouth. He couldn't believe it. That wasn't him, he didn't do this. He could _never_ do this.

Faint rushes of camaraderie and childish laughter rang throughout his skull, swimming around in turbid memories and pounding against his temples to try and nail into his mind this horrible scene. Sans wanted to break down crying again, to spin around and run into Papyrus' arms, begging for his mercy because such a heartless being as he didn't deserve to live anymore. But he couldn't do that. 

What was done, was done. That meant Sans needed to pull himself together and figure out what to do from here. Then his single line of sight trailed down inchingly, quivering at just how _tauntingly_ plush their skin appeared. The fleshy epidermis craving to have Sans crouch down and just sink his teeth inside, moaning out in pleasure and his tummy would stop twisting in on itself. 

Sans snapped back into reality whenever he heard the snow crunching behind him, signaling him that someone was coming. He panicked, arms hurriedly grabbing the cadaver and shortcutting away. Though he wasn't that far away, Sans watched with abject horror when his brother trudged through the snow almost begrudgingly until he noticed the frozen blood. Sans felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach and he swallowed nervously, but Papyrus only crouched down and stayed completely still. 

Papyrus stood and Sans thought that he was in the clear, a sigh involuntarily slipped through his teeth. His brother's head spun around so fast and his eye-lights landed on him within a mere second, everything stock still as they examined one another.

Standing rigidly with a dead body slung over his shoulder and clothing absolutely drenched in blood, sockets wide and red orb extinguished was Sans. This was it, Sans had almost wailed, his brother was going to never grant amnesty and hold Sans again. He had really done it this time, he'd really fucked up. 

Papyrus did not do that. 

Instead, he simply walked up to Sans and kindly offered his hand. During that moment where nothing felt real and Sans' vision tunneled in on Papyrus, the brothers instantly shared a connection as soon as Sans grasped his brother's open palm and tightened his phalanges to ground himself from slipping out of reality again. 

From that day forward, the two brothers formed a secret operation. They hunted humans, selling out the flesh to the poor, starving families in Snowdin. The Royal Guard became secretive, barring anyone from leaving or entering the town to make sure their bellies stayed fed. Their magic warped and formed them into stronger, more lumber versions of themselves. Sans grew stockier and heavier, easily able to crush someone's skull between his giant hands. Papyrus grew lankier and more agile, though his back curved whenever Papyrus' true gentle nature shone through and destroyed his posture. 

Papyrus slowly lost his eyesight the more he ate human meat, their poor, agonizing souls corrupting him and breaking off his teeth and making him look like an absolute nightmare. Sans had already lost the ability to see in one of his eyes, but his brother had been scared whenever he struggled to write something and couldn't even read what he had written - even with squinting. The tables turned and now Sans was comforting Papyrus through his changes, through his breakdowns, and through his moments of unadulterated sadness. 

And all they had was each other. 

And Sans would do anything for his brother. _Anything_. 

So Sans once again returned to the depths of their home and ventured into the basement, forcing his focus and deprecating memory to produce formulas and hypotheses and equations so that he can get that damn machine to start working. It had been there for a long time, but one day an accident occurred within the CORE and the blip caused the machine to shut down and never function again. Sans had been livid, naturally. He had poured hours of dedication into this machine that would send them all to either another universe or put them back above ground, then it just short-circuits and now he has to start from scratch. 

It drove him mad. Days after days of snipping wires and electric zaps and black tape, hunger gnawing away at his bones and mental stability because he refused to eat. Whatever human flesh they kept, it was for Papyrus. He had to be fed first, he **wouldn't** go hungry. Sans could push through for him, he would be fine. It wouldn't be much longer, Sans tried to reassure himself, he would get this machine on and they would be out of the Underground. Then, when they were on the Surface, they would have plenty to eat and Sans could gorge himself until he fell into a food coma. 

Months passed, years even. After five full years of tinkering away tediously on that damn machine, the lights finally flickered on. The keypad's buttons lit up, flashing several colors of red, blue, green, and yellow. Sans fell back in pure shock, face contorted into a pained and worried expression. He didn't even want to put his hands on the machine again, lest he breaks it. Sans began hyperventilating, tripping out into a full-blown panic attack. In. Out. In. Out. Okay, you can do this, Sans. 

Dragging himself out of his daze, Sans fumbled around and entered a few codes into the machine. He typed anything he could think of, longitudes and latitudes and marking several pinpoints into the unknown - just in case. Sans would make sure they were out of here, so if the machine ended up accidentally zapping them to a few different locations, it would be all right as long as they were no longer in this godforsaken place. Whenever Sans was completely confident in what he had typed in, he sluggishly turned and plodded up each step slowly and carefully. Each movement he made was smoothly calculated, trying to compose himself long enough to not freak out and overtly express the excitement that tingled in his bones. 

He and Papyrus were going to get out of the Underground! They would finally be safe and free from starvation, from the cruel rule of Queen Undyne, to save them from this insanity. Sans spoke to Papyrus in a hush, informing him to grab what few things he wanted to keep and meet him in the basement. Though he had been rightly confused and questioning, Papyrus did what his brother asked of him. He brought down his favorite scarf, a small bag of his favorite figurines, his bedtime storybook and dating manual, and his worn-out pillow. Papyrus had been jittery, glancing around suspiciously before his eyes landed on the machine and he almost dropped everything in his arms. 

Sans had nothing on him but his favorite parka, smiling so brightly at his brother and it looked so genuine and carefree and reminded Papyrus of before all of this. That shut Papyrus up. He didn't want to know what all of this was, didn't care to ask if this is what Sans had been toiling away over for five years, didn't want to know what was about to happen, Papyrus just wanted that look on his brother's face to stay there for forever. 

Papyrus tightened his clutch on the things in his arms and stepped forward, then bent down low enough to look his brother in the eye. His red eye, though stained with bone marrow and dementia, held pure joy. Sans then told his brother to hold on to him tightly and to **not** let go, no matter what he felt or what happened to them. Papyrus trusted his brother more than anything, so diligently wrapping his arms around Sans' sternum and squeezing, Papyrus closed his eyes and waited. 

Reaching forward, Sans offered a comforting pat before he pressed the 'ENTER' button and pulled down the lever in the center of the keypad. 

Then they were thrust forward into utter darkness and neither of them could breathe, their bodies feeling like they had been simultaneously compressed and stretched before it finally stopped. Once the strange trembles in their bodies passed, Sans and Papyrus were left staring in wonder and amazement.

Trees went on for miles, wrapping around them in a forest of greenery and birdsong and beautiful flowers. There was a sun in the sky, so beautiful and round and burning fiery hot with passion and freedom. Baby blue skies with puffy white clouds that were just so _spacious_. Sans collapsed to his knees and stayed there for ages, just looking around with doe eyes before laughter began to ripple through his chest. Papyrus felt his soul swell whenever he heard that gracious baritone laugh, the true laughter that had been so rare even before the hunger. Sans was truly happy. Papyrus joined his brother, slinging their arms around one another as they laughed and cried and observed the world as time ticked on into the nighttime. 

Stars twinkled away and there was a glowing moon in the center of the earth, and the brothers slipped into a well-deserved slumber that they couldn't risk when they were trapped underground. They held one another and nothing was real. 

Until another skeleton stumbled upon them. 

When Sans and Papyrus came to, they found out that Sans had brought them into the 'prime' universe. The original universe where all of the others spiraled off of and broke off into various differences, but Sans didn't care. Or, at least, he hadn't until he had met the original version of himself. 

That Sans was cruel to them, though he held some sort of soft spot for Papyrus but refused to look at his horrific face. Whenever they spoke, the original Sans would either stare at Papyrus' chest or shoulders. When the other edgier and ruder version of Papyrus returned them to this great big mansion in the woods, Sans felt his soul almost break. This Sans regarded them with little respect (or maybe it was just him, since Sans didn't think he could ever treat his brother harshly, no matter the universe) and judged them based on their universe. 

Papyrus earnestly explained that they were forced to consume humans due to the CORE shutting down and no longer supplying a food source, that he regretted it and promised that if he was given a second chance that he would be good and he would live life forever in gratitude. Sans had almost broken down bawling whenever his brother was saying these things, but this Sans stared on at them cooly and with dead eye-lights as he judged them. Whenever Papyrus finished, tears were trickling down his cheekbones and Sans joined him, numbly reaching forward and grasping hold of his brother's hand and refusing to let go. 

There were a couple of other versions of them staring down at the two brothers with mixed looks of pity, fear, sadness, and disgust. One version of Sans, with starry eyes, colored a cotton candy blue, and a Papyrus smile offered them tissues, to which his brother graciously accepted and dabbed his tears away. But Sans didn't let the look of distrust that crossed the face of that Sans' brother go, stepping in between the brothers _just in case_. 

Classic him shook his head, banishing the brothers to a small guest home on their estate. They had to sign a contract to stay and not be immediately dusted, agreeing to remain in the forest as long as they resided in this universe. Sans' soul was almost immediately shattered whenever he said that they would be sent back to their home universe as soon as the classic him, the edgy him, and the oddly switched personality version of his brother finished repairing the machine in this universe. 

Papyrus had to hold Sans up as the Papyrus-Sans, Blue (he vaguely picked up that name), and Rust (this rather edgy version of himself) walked them to this rundown house settled within the center of a clearing. Sans (they called him Axe, much to his chagrin) growled and almost marched back to the mansion to rip the classic him's head off at the pitiful sight. Papyrus, however, had been much more enthusiastic. 

He had been very understanding with their sentence, just happy to not have been dusted on spot and given that second chance he so desperately wanted. Papyrus didn't mind this shabby place at all until they dubbed him a nickname as well. Crooks didn't click with him for the first few seconds and he just stared blankly at Rust, who had this smug, snarky grin on his face whenever he said it. Then Papyrus realized why they gave him this nickname. His teeth. 

Papyrus slumped down onto the porch steps and grieved his heart out. Sans crouched down beside him and soothingly held his brother's skull, shooting the deadliest glare he could muster at Rust and Blue. Rust winced away slightly and Blue wrung his hands together uncomfortably, then the two of them promptly took their leave as if they had been intruding. 

This was supposed to be the better universe, their escape. Now they were trapped above ground, too. Just because this universe's Sans believed they were unworthy of redemption and only offered them this place to placate them to keep them from cannibalizing everyone in sight. It disgusted Sans. He hated this place. 

But at least they had food. 

A full year passed of rations of food that were barely enough for them to sustain themselves and heal, keeping their magic levels at bay. Sans assumed this was done on purpose to keep them from gaining back their original power level so that they didn't act out, but that didn't stop himself from slipping Papyrus half of his meal every single time they ate. He would have continued doing that, too, had you not come. 

It had been late at night and Sans almost couldn't believe himself whenever Papyrus carried a limp body through the threshold, giving him a sheepish smile. Sans thought that Papyrus had regressed and returned back to their murderous ways of the Underground, the instinct and impulse being too much to handle, but then he revealed you needed help. 

Oh, you definitely did need help. Sans probably would have kicked you back into the forest had his brother not been so ecstatic at finally being able to make a friend, as this universe's Papyrus and Blue quit visiting after half a year. They must have thought them too difficult of a case to crack and just left them to their own devices. Sans figured you would be like that, too, but then you thoroughly surprised him. 

When he and his brother accidentally slipped into a horrific reverie of the underground, you had calmed Sans down and your soul reached out to him. Your delicate smile, your bright eyes, your gorgeous soul, it all crashed into him like a wave and he was sucked down into a whirlpool and spun round and round until he realized that you were his soulmate. **His soulmate.** Sans almost suffered another panic attack until his brother shook clear from his own thoughts and managed to ground himself, carrying you off into the kitchen. 

Sans was shaken. 

You just kept coming back, making an admirable attempt at befriending them. Your soul screamed out every time you were in their presence that you wanted to help them, that you truly felt sorrow every time you looked at their conditions and blood flushed your cheeks like you were about to start crying. 

They began eating more, quickly burning through their rations just within the two weeks you interacted with them. This wasn't your fault, of course. Papyrus just wanted to make sure his friend was well fed and taken care of, acting like he was walking on glass and it could slice through him at any minute if he stepped too harshly. Sans tried to stop his brother, afraid that it might alert this universe's Sans and then they would be in deep trouble for interacting with a human. 

Papyrus didn't relent though, instead, he only pressed further because he could also feel that gentle tug of soulmates but just didn't realize it. Sans was scared, especially whenever they had mostly run out of food tonight and you wanted to come over. Even though their cabinets were nearly bare, Papyrus tried insisting on cooking you another spaghetti dish even when his smile came out as strained as he read his own messages across his phone screen. 

They couldn't afford that, but Papyrus would be damned if he didn't cook for their friend. 

Then you offered to buy _them_ food. Sans' heart soared out of his chest at such a glorious offer and he knew that you weren't aware what this meant to him or his brother, but he could dream. You were just an angel, a goddess sent from the heavens and there to bless them with your glory and love. Food was so intimate from where he came from and it felt like the three of you were already soul-bonded, sitting around a dinner table like a perfect and loving family. 

Sans had to restrain himself from nearly moaning as soon as he started eating, relishing in the delicious and familiar taste of Grillby's and you being so painfully unaware of what you were doing to them. He almost hopped over the table and began peppering kisses all over your pretty, little face, but glued himself to his seat by focusing on dipping fry after fry into ketchup and chewing. 

Good things to them obviously couldn't last for long. 

Once Papyrus swallowed his bite, he broke down into a mess of tears and snot. Sans' concentration broke and you joined him by Papyrus' side, cooing him and gingerly cradling the good side of his jaw in one of your hands. You asked him what was wrong and Sans knew something very bad was about to happen, just that gut feeling that felt like a knife in his lungs and his throat parched. 

Before he could clamp his hands over Papyrus' mouth to save them from a frightened and panicking human, it was too late. The words tumbled out of Papyrus and he maintained eye contact with you, only glancing away once he finished his sentence. Sans' bone brows furrowed together and he gaged your reaction, his body tense. 

And many things flashed across your face. A swirl of emotions that indicated surprise, shock, realization, pity, sadness, and then, finally, acceptance before you breathed out a simple, 

"Oh."


	6. das tut wirklich weh :((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There are some really sad things mentioned! Also, prepare for romance building feat. Fangs and Alfred. Sorry for the late update, things have been hectic.

Everything clicked into place. It felt like a knife slashing through the air, slicing across your conscious and your breathing faltered. A fog settled around the room and, for a second, you thought you were lost. Your fingers twitched, fingertips tracing bone and your pupils contracted whenever you locked eyes with two empty, black sockets. There were two fairly dim lights inside, swimming around like two lost fireflies and fading away into nothingness. Papyrus studied your face for a long time, features hardened underneath your blank leer and tears pooling inside of the indentions above his cheekbones. 

They had eaten people. Now everything made sense: being trapped in the depths of this forest, the lack of social interaction, no medical or mental help, being poor. These two were here for a reason, not because someone was being overtly cruel. Some nagging mite within your brain still whispered that it was unfair and unusual punishment, that had the circumstances been different or just one little thing would have stayed the same, these two skeletons would have never dared to eat a human. 

Determination swelled inside of your chest and your soul rang out, reaching out longingly for Papyrus and Sans, trying desperately to convey that everything was going to be okay. Papyrus' tears traced down his face and dripped from his chin, but halted under the loving gaze you had mustered. Sans stilled, body tensed up, trying to fish his way out of the fog still billowing around the room and hearing those quiet, gentle notes from the very culmination of your being hush his worries. 

You leaned back against the table, scooting it back subtly and propping your weight on your right leg so you could lean down and hold Papyrus' skull between both of your hands. Your thumbs flicked away the small puddles of tears, brow scrunching up and lips pursed. Two fingers on both hands lifted upwards by an inch to rub tiny, soothing circles into his temples as your upper body drew closer to him. Papyrus' hands jerked slightly at the interaction, practically begging to bring you into his chest and embrace you forlornly, to which you complied and moved away from the table and settled into Papyrus' lap. 

His arms wasted no time snaking around your waist and clinging to you, a sob wrenching from between his teeth and his head bobbed down. You removed your hands to return his hold and Papyrus thrust his skull into the nook of your neck, a whimper reverberating throatily. His breath tickled your skin and you wrapped your arms across his sternum, hands resting on his shoulder blades. This seemed to finally break Sans, who crumpled to his knees beside the chair and crawled towards your dangling leg. He paused, a breath wheezing through him and he crossed his legs, forehead pressed to the appendage, phalanges curling around your ankle. Sans' meek movements pierced a harpoon straight through your heart and you held back your tears, staying strong for them. 

They were injured, not broken. 

Guilt sagged into the shoulders Papyrus cried into and Sans was hyperventilating, his own tears streaming down his cheeks and staining your socks. You closed your eyes for just a moment, pausing to collect your erratic and buzzing thoughts, your fingers tracing patterns on to Papyrus' sweater to guide him through his valley of misery. Your gesture placated Papyrus just a tad and he craned his neck slightly to catch a glimpse of your eyes, shiny with the tears you refused to shed. One of your hands cupped the left side of his face and he leaned into your touch, sockets half-lidded and he looked up at you with that look that made you feel like a whole universe. You graced him with a smile that beamed out the biggest rays of sunshine you could manage and your voice lowered to a whisper when you prodded him to speak. 

"Paps, baby," your tone was barely louder than a murmur of the trees when you averted your eyes down to Sans," what happened to you guys?" Sans stalled amidst his tears, not bothering to meet your gaze. Papyrus shrunk into his shoulders and the corners of his mouth pulled down uncomfortably tight, contemplating how to respond. 

"We Were Trapped, (Name)," his voice was as quiet as he could manage, shame and perturbance punctuating his vowels in lieu of his normally boisterous and proud tone," I Didn't Want To, I Promise." You just wanted to shake your head to fight back the conflagrations that sparked across your face and threatened to break the dams of your eyes but refrained to keep Papyrus from cracking again. 

"Did you have to do it to survive?" You avoided mentioning eating in any sense of the word, hoping to keep your tone light enough that Papyrus didn't feel forsaken. 

"I Was So Hungry," he warbled out. That was enough, you didn't need to know any more. You shushed him by placing your lips in between his brow bones, a warm and passionate peck that popped when you pulled back and locked eyes with Papyrus again. 

"I understand, Papy," you cooed reassuringly," you don't have to say nothing else." That was enough for Papyrus to bury his head back into your embosom, body wracked with grief and Sans tilted his head up towards you, his red pupil lumpy and malformed but vibrating with such an intensity that your breath escaped your lungs. You had seen this look reflected on Papyrus' expression many times before, staring at you with such deep emotion and saucer eyes so wide as Sans tried to comprehend how you managed to be like a nice summer breeze blowing through a field of giant sunflowers, eyes so glittery and bright. The childlike wonder that flounced across his face was enough to thaw you and your grabby hands encased Sans' skull in a passionate clinch, his body on standby when you leaned down and smooched his glabella, too. 

"It's not your fault either, Sans," you mutter against his bone, eyelashes fluttering against his forehead while you raised his head up and peered at his singular eye-light. "I'll never blame you guys, okay?" Sans shivered under your clement scrutiny but maintained eye contact nonetheless, almost fearful that if he broke away, you wouldn't be there anymore. He nodded at you and your hands dropped off of his skull, your body now twisted around fully in Papyrus' lap with his chin digging into your spine, the hot tears splotching onto your shirt signaling that Papyrus still needed comforting. 

You stretched your arms down to your midriff, arms brushing against Papyrus' crossed radiuses to lace fingers with phalanges. He squeezed your digits tightly, metacarpals flexing underneath your palm and you shut your eyes in this nice moment that felt like a sleepy morning and chirping birds, this dark chapter disappearing momentarily in Papyrus' hold. A sniffle escaped him, crisp and curt gusts of breath blowing from his nasal cavity and tickling your neck. 

"I-I'm So Sorry That You Had To Meet Us Like This," Papyrus stuttered, his lisp slinking past his teeth and making his voice sound like a pathetic hiss," Sorry That It Was Us You Met. There - There Are Nicer Versions Of Us, Better Versions, I - We Don't Deserve You." 

"Never say that again," you admonished quietly, ending his stammering nonsense. "The two of you deserve the world. I don't know who planted that seed in your head but weed it. Something awful happened to you guys, yeah. That doesn't mean it defines you, though." Sans' hand shot up to his empty socket, ready to tug down and ground himself but paused whenever you gave him a sharp look, instead choosing to curl both of his hands around your ankles and pinching hard. Your legs jerked slightly and Papyrus pulled away from you slowly, sternum still ghosting your back and you could sense Papyrus' addled regard. 

"B-But We Ate Humans," he whispered, his arms twitching around you. 

"Do you still?" you queried, head tilted to the left and eyeing Papyrus. 

"No, No. We Wouldn't Ever Do That Again," Papyrus answered so quickly that he accidentally clicked his canines together too sharply and he winced," That Was So Horrible." 

"Then it doesn't matter," you ended. "You were trapped and you had no other choice. I don't see why that should change anything." Sans' straightened up a bit, head lurching up and his brows furrowing. 

"we ain't good company, (name)," Sans spoke with a shrug, pupil averting away from your reaction. "it's better that ya leave us alone. they did." He whispered the last part while you blinked down at Sans and anger bubbled in your chest, your teeth gritting at that thought. 

"Not in a million years," you quipped. "When I said that you guys deserve the world, I meant it. I want to help you two." Sans dodged away from you, ducking into the comfort of his parka and Papyrus sat up fully. 

"Deserve The World?" he echoed, voice indistinct and far away like he wasn't even aware the words had left him. You hummed at him. 

"Of course," you said," I would never lie to you." At that, you wiggled underneath Papyrus' tight grip and picked at his arms to unravel them, your toes joggling as if asking for Sans to release your ankles. He complied and Papyrus loosened his lifeline clutch on your body, abling you free to stand and offer your hands to Sans, who accepted them and stayed silent when you heaved him up. You pat his arm gently, spinning around back to Papyrus and placing your hands on your hips. There were orange tinted trails streaking down Papyrus' cheekbones and jawline, so you wadded up the end of your sleeves between your fingers and wiped off the remaining residue from his magical tears. 

"Now come on, nerds," you grinned wolfishly at him," our food's getting cold." But neither of you made a move to return to your meal, just lost as you watched one another and you could feel Sans' lingering stare burning into the back of your head. 

Papyrus was the first one to crack, the ends of his brow bones pinching upwards just a fraction and his taut smile relaxing into something familiar, something loving. He pivoted back towards the table and gripped the top, yanking it back into its original place and you released a soundless giggle. Sans seemed to have loosened up, too, and stepped around you with a roll of his pupil, his iconic grin returning to his face and sockets lidded when he glanced at you from the peripherals of his vision. 

Sans and you returned to your seats, picking up your abandoned silverware and digging right on back into whatever mood was originally there. The fog had finally cleared up, allotting the three of you to share stolen glances and friendly jests once more. You fell back into a comfortable conversation with Papyrus, the tension eased from your postures but the vulnerable moment not forgotten, just talking to distract yourselves. Sans looked back and forth to his brother then to you, impressed that your composure didn't betray how you were so close to breaking down into tears and Sans almost sulled up. 

What he had thought was surprise, shock, realization, pity, sadness, and acceptance had been wrong. It had been realization, understanding, anger, love, compassion, and then _determination_. A shiver traced up his spine and Sans shoved a handful of fries into his mouth to hide the suddenness of how his soul soared, longing to bond with yours and make the string already connecting the two of you official. 

Though you weren't _theirs_ and Sans felt they definitely didn't _deserve_ you, he stifled a quiet chuckle because they already _had_ you. 

* * *

Alfred had been there standing in front of your door when you ran into his arms, sobbing your heart out. Fangs blinked down at you owlishly and stepped away from Alfred's side, attempting to not overwhelm you and you tried your very best through your tears to explain what had happened. You passed your bag over to Fangs, who fished through the pockets and retrieved your house key and unlocked the door, pushing it open with his foot and gesturing for Alfred to bring you inside. 

So now the two of you had quickly collapsed to the floor in your living room, Alfred's back pressing against your couch and Fangs sitting uncomfortably with his knees drawn to his chest on the furthest recliner in the room. Alfred held you close, trying to coax you into speaking about what was wrong. His fingers ran through your locks, twirling them around his index digit and whispering comforting nothings into your ear. You released a quiet sniffle, wiping your tears off with balled fists. 

"Alfred, it's so horrible," you moaned out," you just don't understand what I felt." 

"Then tell me, please," he responded, hand paused against your scalp," Did one of them hurt you? I can have Fangs check your HP, if you want-" His accusation hurt you slightly and you couldn't hold it down anymore, you had to talk to him. Alfred was your best friend, you could trust him. 

"No!" you exclaimed briefly, out of breath. " Alfred, I can't keep this a secret. They had to eat people, for God's sake!" Fangs perked up at this, wincing slightly and squinking his face at the screaming your soul emitted from the sore wound that was recently inflicted. Alfred inched away from the side of your head, scanning your face in disbelief and biting his bottom lip. 

"(Name), that was just a myth racist humans made up," he informed you, but this just made you yelp out angrily. 

"In their case, no it's not," you admitted, closing your eyes," you should have seen how Papy cried, Alfie. You should have just seen how both of them were." Each time you shut your eyes, you could see the scene laying out before you. Their barely-visible tears, their grief-ridden faces, snot, and cold food. Goosebumps pricked at your skin and you shuddered, flushing against Alfred's body and resting your chin on his shoulder. He could tell you weren't faking this and he wrapped his arms around you in a hug, sharing a look with Fangs. 

"Then you don't need to see them anymore," he mumbled against your hair," they're dangerous." You shook your head furiously, ripping out of Alfred's hold and fixing him with the hardest glare you could possibly convene. 

"Papyrus would never hurt me and neither would Sans," you defended, lips trembling and a few bulbous tears dripped off of your eyelashes. "They're too attached, I can't leave them now or else I'll hurt them. I can't do that to them, Alfred. God, it hurts so much." You grabbed at your shirt, clutching over where your heart would be and face flinching in pain. Fangs' feet tapped the floor whenever he stood, quickly flitting over to where you were seated and tapping your back. You refused to meet his gaze, but Fangs gasped inaudibly and gave Alfred a wide-eyed look, mouth agape when his pupils flickered down to your frame. 

"(Name), please look at me," Alfred quietly pleaded and you complied. Dropping the tension from your arms and shoulders when you met Alfred's baby blue eyes, his features painted in worry and care. "What are they to you?" 

"What do you mean?" you garbled out, scrutinizing Fangs from the corners of your vision. 

"Do you like them?" Alfred's resonance was somber and your mouth fell open to tell him that they were friends, that you just wanted to help them because they deserved it, but his mien made you falter. The way Papyrus always looked down at you, the sunshine tingles that washed over you whenever you met his eye sockets and smiled at him. Then the image of Sans gripping your ankles like he would be swept away with the tide if he dares let go, body hunched down at your feet and staring at you with such adoration. It all made sense. 

"Oh, my God, Alfie," you whimpered," I think they're in love with me." Or maybe just completely enamored, maybe infatuated, you weren't too sure. That would explain some of the things Sans has said to you, but you thought they were all jokes. Just him making fun of his insecurities and about being afraid to talk about his 'feelings'. Papyrus never said these things, but he tried too hard to impress you. Everything added up and this made sense, but you didn't know for sure. That scared you. 

"I think it's something more than that," Fangs murmured out but was silenced by a sharp look from Alfred. You quirked a brow at Fangs, hoping he would elaborate but Alfred picked up on the slack and answered. 

"If they're in love with you, then you damn well better be careful," he spoke warningly. "If these two truly did eat people, then they might snap and hurt you if they suspect you're trying to leave them." 

"They're not like that," you assured him, positive that Sans and Papyrus would never do something that sinister now that they were free and on the surface. But they were still being held hostage by that landlord of theirs, however. Your thoughts trailed off at that, jaw tightening. 

"You don't actually know that, though," Alfred said," you've barely known them for two weeks." 

"And they've been absolute sweethearts during that time, I promise!" you bantered, standing your ground. Granted, you knew that they could snap any moment and have an episode, but never once have you seen them become violent. These two just seemed absolutely eager to be as pacifist as possible, but were tormented with visions and nightmares of all of the horrible deeds they've committed in the past instead. Even Sans, who did try to threaten you occasionally, never would raise his hand at you unless you appeared to be a threat to Papyrus. Even then, Sans still didn't raise his hand - he was too lazy. 

"All right," Alfred sighed out heavily," but I still want you to be careful." Fangs nodded in agreement with Alfred, the ghastly expression that had drenched his features moments earlier subdued slightly and when he looked at you, his eyes seemed to be glazed over. 

"Yes, please," Fangs' words slithered out from between his front teeth," Something's going on and if you're really that determined to find out what it is and help them, you'll have to tread lightly." Fangs' jaws jerked, mouth smacking open and close, debating whether or not he should say more but chose to end it there. He was hiding something, that much you knew about Fangs. Whatever it was, though, you weren't going to press him for it. Fangs was naturally secretive, but he would tell you whatever it was in due time. 

"I'm going to find their landlord," you then hesitated, unsure if that was the best option or not," or maybe I'll start hooking up some appointments for them soon." Alfred's eyes rolled, looking away from you but humming. 

"Okay, but the first time they lay a finger on you," Alfred leaned in real close," you better dial me or Fangs up, and we'll be there in a flash." You graced his demand with a bow of your head, eyes downcast and brows creased. The two of you pulled away after that, Alfred standing and offering you a hand, but your head recoiled away and Alfred retracted his arms, stuffing them into his pockets. 

"Fangs and me are gonna leave now," he rocked back on to the balls of his feet and Fangs joined him, standing off to the side but still within arm's reach," and listen." You arched one of your brows to indicate that you were paying attention to him and Alfred cleared his throat, removing one of his hands from his pockets and lacing it with Fangs'. 

"If you still need to talk later on when you've started feeling a bit better, then call us," this time, you didn't respond to Alfred and just continued sitting criss-cross apple sauce on the ground, so Alfred tugged on Fangs' hand and pulled him towards the door. Fangs pressed his face towards Alfred's ear and began whispering, but you picked up the faintest hints of their conversation. 

"Alfred...their soulbond...not injured at..."

"That means?"

"Like two completely different people...no trauma..."

And the conversation ended there as Alfred opened the door and ushered Fangs outside, sparing you one last glance before he pulled the door to. Now you were left on the ground wondering what any of what Fangs said meant, confusion etched onto your features before you phone buzzed to life in your pocket. You didn't even have to check who it was since you were pretty sure it was Papyrus, but you did so out of habit and found that he just wanted to know if you arrived home safely. 

They would never hurt you, you nodded in affirmation to yourself, you just know it. 

* * *

When you left the brother's house, Papyrus had stood in front of the window with his face pressed tightly against it and watched you leave until you were no longer in sight. Once your figure disappeared between the trees, Papyrus peeled away from the window and turned towards his brother that sat motionless on their creaky, old robin egg blue couch. Sans made no signs of recognition, even whenever Papyrus stood in front of his brother and waved his hand in front of his face. He seemed to be lost in his own mind for now, his red pupil blurry. 

Papyrus shrugged his shoulders and headed upstairs for his room, honestly needing the alone time so that he could clearly pick apart the many thoughts in his own mind, too. The bed groaned out in disagreement when Papyrus plopped his body down, lacing his phalanges together and twiddling his thumbs. He did a quick scan of his surroundings, suddenly feeling really out of place and wishing that you were sitting beside him at that very moment. But Papyrus was aware that if you had sat down beside him that he would have wrapped himself around you and started gushing about helping you solve some puzzles or discussing the latest video from Mettaton or literally anything else other than what was currently in his brain. 

It was sort of disoriented, but Papyrus managed to subtly study it. The thought had managed to disguise itself well enough for the first week that Papyrus had known you, hiding within the deepest alcoves and crevices of his mind, claws digging in and burying itself away. This is how Papyrus was able to bond with you so quickly, never shutting his mouth whenever you were around and just always saying every little thing that he wanted you to know about himself and his brother. You never appeared bothered by it, staying attentive each time a trivial fact slipped off his tongue and his heart thrummed against his ribcage when you didn't shut him down. 

Plus, you kept coming back. You actively wanted to be in their life and you even began to quiz him on his own life, so Papyrus positively knew that the three of you would soon be the best of friends! Comrades, amigos, buddies, partners. Then, that was when that thought reared its ugly head in and Papyrus was left frozen in his tracks. 

You weren't just meant to be friends, no. You were his soulmate, he was so sure of that. Today had proven that, hell, your loving nature had proven that. It was this fact alone that was so absolutely terrifying to Papyrus and he was left shivering in its wake, balling up on his bed and squeezing his legs closer to his chest, seeking comfort in constant. His legs would always be there, his bed would always be there, his favorite scarf would always be there, his brother would always be there, but you...You didn't always have to be there. 

He mewled quietly and he grit his teeth, a high-pitch moan of pain emitting from his throat when his teeth accidentally brushed together painfully. You tried though, you tried so desperately hard to be there. When Papyrus' skull was held between your palms and your eyes were so gentle and so kind, he knew it was meant to be. He knew that you wanted to be there. That's when he realized that you must be the soulmate of this universe's Papyrus, not him. He was a fraud, a fake, a split off from the original but still the same soul. 

Papyrus wearily sighed, pushed himself to a sitting position and fixed the door with a hard stare. He contemplated going downstairs to consult Sans since his brother always knew what to do. He had been the one to save them after all! Throwing his legs off of the edge of the bed, black loafers scraping across the hardwood tiles and Papyrus didn't move from his spot. How was he even supposed to talk to his brother about this anyway?

Knowing Sans and his grudge against this universe, he would turn you away and then Papyrus would be all alone again. He definitely wanted to avoid that at all costs. But who else was he supposed to talk to? 

Shaking his head, his fingers gripped the bedsheets tightly and he groaned, gravelly and muted. Perhaps Sans would grant him some sort of mercy and allow their relationship, especially after how he had seen you comfort Sans today. If Papyrus was going to have any kind of soulmate, they must obviously be able to be there for Sans in his time of need! Just like how you had been. You were perfect for him. 

And then Papyrus lost himself in a reverie, imagining a world where there was not a single thing wrong with him, he looked like how he had before the incident. Back before he had maimed humans, back before he had tasted their squishy flesh, back before his brother almost died, back before the CORE shut down. The barrier would be broken and the monsters free, Papyrus would be living happily with you in a nice cottage that resided within a part in the two worlds of bustling cities and calming wildlife. The two of you would be on the outskirts of civilization and Sans would have a sweet home down in your basement, he would like that. 

He would be an ambassador for monsters, he would be diplomatic and rich, he would pay the taxes and you would only love him in return. It was beautiful, the two of you would have a family and his brother would be that uncle that's never invited but always shows up anyways. Papyrus didn't even feel the big and goofy grin that sprawled across his features the more he daydreamed about you, but he snapped back into reality when he realized he forgot to write you to see if you got home safely. 

By the stars! What kind of soulmate was he? Dreaming like a little child that was clueless to how the real world functioned and completely disregarding your safety! Silencing his puppy love-filled thoughts with romantic dinners and energetic nights, Papyrus shuffled for his phone and tried to steady his hands so that they didn't tremble and he wouldn't mess up his text to you. He was a perfectionist, especially if he tried to make himself seem as much of a prospect as the next bloke on the street. Papyrus would show you that he could be the skeleton of your dreams, he promised! 

You just needed to look past all of his insecurities and faults, then the two of you would have a grand wedding and, ta-da, Papyrus would finally get his happy ending. Though it seemed like you already did all of that, or else you wouldn't have held him while he cried today. Once he finished typing and pressed the 'send' button, Papyrus gave in and his shoulders drooped when he tilted his skull to look at the door. Sucking it up and pocketing his phone, Papyrus' feet dragged across the floor as he tried to prolong talking to Sans about you, but before he knew it, he had gone through the threshold and peered down the steps into the living room. 

Sans hadn't moved an inch, which didn't soothe his soul's flurry of emotions and made his heart fall into his metaphorical stomach. Papyrus tried to soundlessly stalk down the steps, but the moment his foot touched the top stair, it croaked out loudly and Sans' head snapped up to his brother. Papyrus gulped. 

"HELLO, BROTHER," he began nervously, shifting his weight from side to side," CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR THE LAST WEEK?" Sans' red pupil traced up Papyrus' frame, dulling to a maroon color before he responded.

"sure, paps," Sans scooted over and pat the seat next to him," c'mere." There was no turning back, it was now or never. Papyrus tried to appear at ease when he scaled down the steps and joined his brother, but the way his body flinched away whenever he noticed Sans' eye following his every move totally gave away the bundle of nerves in his demeanor. 

"OKAY, SANS," Papyrus started once he stiffly plopped beside by his brother," YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON'T GET ANGRY OR FREAK OUT." 

"'m already halfway there when you say that, but 'kay," Sans hastily mumbled. That didn't reassure Papyrus in the slightest bit, but he continued. 

"I THINK THAT I MIGHT HAVE MET MY SOULMATE," Papyrus rushed out and instead of looking angry like Papyrus originally thought Sans would be, he looked jittery and his pupil averted Papyrus' face and flickered all around.

"heh, funny story, bro," Sans said," i think i've met mine, too." Papyrus regarded him in confusion. Sans had also met his soulmate? How? Had he left the house without permission - _without_ him? The anger that flared in Papyrus chest was quickly doused in relief when he realized that meant Sans probably wouldn't turn you away now. 

"OH, INTERESTING," Papyrus fiddled with his phalanges," DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHO IT IS FIRST?" Sans shook his head rapidly.

"uh, no, thank you," he said," you go first." Papyrus glanced away from Sans, neither of them really having the _guts_ to look each other in the eyes at the moment. 

"THEN WOULD YOU PERHAPS LIKE TO STATE WHO THEY ARE AT THE SAME TIME THEN?" Papyrus offered, confidence lost because he still was afraid of Sans' reaction at his soulmate being you, so the idea of them saying it in sequence made him feel more secure. Sans considered this for a second before he numbly nodded. 

"on the count of three?" Sans suggested and Papyrus agreed.

"OKAY: ONE,"

"two,"

"THREE!" "three." 


	7. alle meine freunde...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is my absolute favorite so far and it's only because of the end. Gotta stay for the whole adventure, laddies.

"Thank you so much for your help, miss," you spoke into the phone, a small smile on your lips. The lady on the other end accepted your gratitude and ended the call, so you pulled your phone away from your ear and grabbed for a notepad. You popped the cap off of the pen you held in your opposite hand and quickly scribbled down the important information you had just learned. 

The phone call regarded Sans and Papyrus and the appointments you had just scheduled. A small, local charitable counseling center offered to take them on without a fee, so you booked them a visit there, also along with setting up one with an orientation visit with a therapist. Once you wrote down the times, dates, and locations, you scanned the page to make sure nothing was incorrect. When that was done, you double-checked the writing scrawled above that. Circled a few times was a date a couple of days from now and it was solely for Papyrus. It was a dentist appointment, also from a local monster joint that would accept patients without any identification or question - especially if they were in a crisis. 

You weren't too sure if Papyrus or Sans had any forms of IDs or proof of who they were, but you _did_ know they didn't have the money for any other place. The monster dentist's office did all of their work for free and even helped out humans who desperately needed it and couldn't afford a human one.

Satisfied at the sheet, you reached for your phone again and quickly dialed up Papyrus' number. It had been a few days since the incident and you had been subtly suggesting over text about taking Papyrus to get his teeth fixed. He had seemed hesitant at first, said that he wasn't allowed to leave the woods but you told him that you would 'kidnap' him, so he wouldn't be 'leaving' the forest per se. After that, Papyrus was much more enthusiastic about the idea and even asked if you could 'kidnap' Sans, too. You had chuckled and assured him that Sans wouldn't be able to escape your grasp, which made the skeleton gush over you and repeatedly thank you. 

It had warmed your heart and made you want to cry simultaneously, which is why you immediately dove into your search of finding the perfect places to schedule the appointments after you hung up with Papyrus. 

The tone didn't even ring a second time before there was a beep and you heard Papyrus' sweet voice yelp in happiness on the other line. 

"(NAME)! HOW NICE OF YOU TO CALL," he said," I WAS ACTUALLY JUST CONSIDERING GIVING YOU A BUZZ BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT YOU READ MY MIND AND BEAT ME TO IT. YOU MUST BE A SUPERIOR OF MIND-READING!!!" Almost every time that you contacted Papyrus now, he sounded even more enthralled than the last. But his words did raise of few questions in your whirring mind, curious. Papyrus, while he jumped at the chance to talk to you, seemed hesitant to be the one to reach out first since he had confessed his dark past to you. Perhaps he believed that you were uncomfortable with him now and waited for you to make the first move. Sweet, but you needed to work on him with that. 

You needed to assure him that what he had gone through changed nothing between the two of you. 

"Oh, totally, bro," you giggled," what were you going to call me about?" There was a hum on the other end and you could picture Papyrus' brows furrowing together and glancing off to the side, clearly deep in thought. He seemed unsure of how to proceed, so his sentence started with a stutter and his tone was lower than normal. 

"I, UH, WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO COME OVER, YES," Papyrus' statement ended more like a question and there was a shuffling on the line, you heard Sans' voice whisper something but it was too fuzzy to comprehend. "YES, WE WANT YOU TO COME TO VISIT US." You wrinkled the bridge of your nose slightly, thoroughly at a loss for Papyrus' strange-sounding behavior. Was something making him nervous or bothering him? That would explain how you could hear his teeth chatter together and there seemed to be a continued whispering conversation with Sans when you weren't responding. 

"Of course, I'll be there shortly," you answered. "I actually have some stuff that I wanted to talk to you about, too." Sans' voice immediately ceased and the air felt so thick on both ends that Papyrus audibly gulped. 

"W-WHAT ABOUT?" You're pretty sure you heard Sans' whisper-scream of 'bro, do you think she knows?' Confusion laced across your features and you shook your head, not understanding what those two were going on about and maybe they would explain it to you when you arrived. But, still, the conversation with Alfred and Fangs slowly slipped back into your mind. _They're in love with you._ They were conscious of your every move. 

"Nothing too serious," you stated slowly," just that I managed to book you a dentist appointment!" You exclaimed the end of your sentence, excited for Papyrus and then you heard a gasp. 

"R-REALLY???" Papyrus seemed amazed and there was a crunching, almost like Papyrus had cracked his phone case from too much pressure and excitement. 

"Really," you confirmed him confidently. "I wanted to discuss with you guys what would be the best way to sneak you out and just give you a general rundown of this dentist to help things go smoothly." 

"(NAME), I - THANK YOU," Papyrus warbled out and your heart tightened. These boys must have not seen too many acts of kindness since they've escaped. That had to explain Papyrus' tone. Your teeth grit together angrily, now completely and utterly _peeved_ at their landlord. When they finally tell you who he is, he's going to get a first-class 'hurts, don't-it.' 

"Don't thank me, Paps," you said," it's the least I can do." A sniffle resounded at the end of your sentence and you immediately recognized it as crying, Papyrus was crying again. Shit, what are you supposed to do in this situation? 

"Hey, Papyrus, you don't need to cry, okay," you spoke slow and tried to mumble into the phone as quietly and clearly as you could manage," this is a good thing, remember? We need to be happy, you should be cheering. Me _and_ Sans would hate for you to cry, all right." This sobered Papyrus up enough, but the occasional hiccup escaped him during the few minutes of silence on the call. 

"I WON'T CRY RIGHT NOW," Papyrus admitted," BUT AS SOON AS WE HANG UP, I'M GOING TO GO INTO MY ROOM AND CRY LIKE BABY." A noise of surprise and sadness left you, picturing Papyrus curled into a little ball on his old, rickety bed and sobbing his eye sockets out. It didn't make you happy, at all. 

"Then at least bring Sans along with you," you requested, not wanting Papyrus to be alone when he was grieving," for me?" The line went dead, you couldn't even hear the usual buzzing background static. Your lips parted, ready to call out for Papyrus until he finally spoke up. 

"OKAY," he muttered but lifted his tone," I WILL DO THAT FOR YOU. I JUST HOPE I'M BETTER BY THE TIME YOU GET HERE." 

"Paps, I don't have to come today if you're upset," you calmly stated. 

"NO, NO, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU," said Papyrus," IT'S RATHER IMPORTANT." 

"If you say so," you hesitantly agreed. Though you knew that the two of them would never hurt you, Alfred's words left a wound deep in you that dripped out words of fret and worry. But what if they did hurt you? You hadn't seen Sans and Papyrus experience a _violent_ episode, but you hadn't known them but for three weeks. What happens if something goes wrong today and then one of them does hurt you?

You closed your eyes and exhaled. No, they won't hurt you. 

"WE'LL SEE YOU SOON," Papyrus resolved," GOODBYE AND SAFE TRAVELS, (NAME)." You thanked him and returned the departure, then hung up. Pocketing your phone and standing on shaky feet, you gathered up a few items in your bag and hobbled for the door. One at a time, you hopped on your foot while slipping your shoe on the opposite, repeating the process for the other shoe. You swept your gaze across you home, brows pinched together in thought about the boys and Fangs and Alfred, anxiety settling in a pit of your stomach. 

Taking a deep breath and bobbing your head down, you stepped outside and began the journey to the skeleton brothers' home. 

* * *

The air today was really crisp, the summer-fall slowly fading on into the colder weather of late fall. It was pleasant, the way the gentle breeze gently caressed your skin and the fresh smell of forest and earth wafted into your nostrils. You smiled, feet crunching over now dying leaves, there was a hop in your gait. The coming of fall was a welcome reprieve for you, glad that soon you can wear hoodies and tuck away in a nice and big and fluffy scarf. You wondered if Sans and Papyrus have gotten the chance to experience all of the beauties of fall, or if they had been barred off from that, too. 

If they had and sneaking them out in a couple of days went well, you would totally drive them to a local Starbucks and get them anything and everything containing pumpkin spice. Plus, you guys could go Halloween-ing. Hell yeah. 

Just a few yards in front of you, the sun gleamed down on their decrepit cabin and your smile faltered just a bit. If this next book you published went well and you earned a nice bit of bank off of it, you were going to portion a bit of that away to help repair their home. Or maybe you could just 'kidnap' them fully, you have the spare rooms. 

Shaking away that very tempting thought, you marched up to their porch steps noisily so that you didn't accidentally spook them with your arrival. Their door loomed down at you and you rapped your knuckles on it, lowering your fist and shoving both of your hands into the pockets of your jeans. Silence greeted you, but then you heard whooping and what sounding like thundering footsteps as someone sprinted through the house. 

Papyrus ripped the door open and swooped you up into his embrace, twirling you around rhythmically, like there was music playing around the two of you. Laughter bubbled in your throat and you gripped his scarf, afraid he might fling you but confident in his hold. 

"Paps! What has you so excited all of a sudden?" His phalanges were intertwined with yours and he barely allowed your feet to touch the ground before you were spun around and out, the two of you locked together by your hands. There was a huge and goofy grin stretching across Papyrus' skull, he shut his eyes. 

"I WAS ABLE TO RECOVER FROM MY FEELINGS JAM SESSION BEFORE YOU ARRIVED," he nonchalantly answered, tugging lightly on your wrist and sending you swirling back towards him, to which he caught you and romantically dipped you. "I WATCHED THIS MOVE FROM ONE OF METTATON'S MOVIES. DID I DO GOOD?" Though the world was lurching around you and you still felt the bitter bite from Papyrus' previous statement, the laugh you emitted and the blush flaring up across your cheekbones overpowered that. 

"Oh, Paps, you did brilliantly!" you cheered, stumbling back into his chest whenever he brought you back up. This seemed to increase Papyrus' grin and his mood drastically improved, removing his hands from you and clapping them together. 

"WOWIE!! I FEARED THAT I WOULD MESS THAT UP BIG TIME, BUT YOU KNOW ME," he gushed," THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SOON TO BE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD, CULINARY MASTER CHEF, _AND_ SUPREME DANCER!" 

"I'll toast to that," you cooed and the two of you soon collapsed into a fit of giggles. There were a few tears clinging to your eyelashes and you balled your fist to wipe them away, blinking a few times before your line of sight settled on a lone Sans. He stood off, a few feet away from the two of you and he only observed you guys interact. Sans appeared uncomfortable and when you locked eyes, his single pupil darted away from your face and he released an apologetic chuckle. Oh, no. Was there something wrong with him today?

"Sans, everything clear over there?" you asked, straightening your back and taking a few steps towards him. Sans was glued in his spot, but his eyes sockets widened slightly and his usual carefree grin was tautly pulled up puckered out ever so slightly. He almost looked like he didn't want to interact with you. 

"sure, kiddo," he said," just didn't want to interrupt y'all's special moment." You frowned at that, eyes slits and narrowing. 

"You are always free to interrupt, you know," you informed Sans," you're my friend, too." The reaction that washed over Sans was like he had just been pierced through the chest with a massive sword, his eye light disappearing and his smile just seemed to widen even more than you thought possible. You sucked in a breath and started to question him, now suddenly very concerned about Sans but Papyrus interjected. 

"I DON'T KNOW IF THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BRIGHTEST IDEA," Papyrus quipped, not seeming to read the atmosphere between you and Sans, or just unaware of Sans' current reaction. Hell, maybe both. "HE'S THE MOST HORRID DANCER. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO YELL AT HIM WHEN I TRIED TO PUT THESE STELLAR MOVES ON HIM? I'M APPARENTLY LUCKY AND GRACED WITH A NATURAL TALENT FOR THE ARTS, OR ELSE THE PRACTICE WITH SANS WOULD HAVE THOROUGHLY ENDED MY CAREER." You chortled, the sudden idea of Papyrus trying to romantically twirl Sans around and dip him, violins and old, Italian music thrumming in the background tunneling your vision and you couldn't help yourself. This snapped Sans back to reality, who bashfully looked at the ground and cocked his head down towards his left shoulder. 

"what can i say for myself," he joked," i've two left feet." Papyrus rolled his tiny eye-lights before he laughed along with you a few times. 

"THEN YOU BETTER START TO PRACTICE IF YOU WISH TO SEDUCE (NAME) WITH THE GRACE AND PASSION OF DANCE," you continued laughing until the sentence clicked with you. Had it been anyone else, you would have chalked it up to a joke, a little goof, a gaff, a tit for tat. But you knew that Papyrus and Sans were both interested in you, which meant...Oh, that's why he had put those moves on you. Papyrus seemed to have noticed his slip up because his hands quickly shot up to cover his teeth and he glanced down at you, wide-eyed. Sans visibly tensed up, too. 

Damn, looks like you'll have to ease the tension so they don't freak. Just go along with it, make them think you were unaware of their attraction. 

"Hmm, I don't know, Paps," you mused out," I think Sans would be able to seduce me with those killer puns of his. They're pretty _humerus_ , you know?" Sans weakly chuckled, but Papyrus groaned out and his hands fell to his sides. 

"OF COURSE, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN," he started," YOU'RE ONE OF THE OTHER SIDE, THE _PUNNY_ SIDE." You smirked, scanning their postures and gladly welcoming the sudden loosened tension between the two of them. Papyrus now looked directly down at your face, then you remembered the reason behind your visit. 

"Oh! Before I forget," you fished around in your bag and yanked out a notepad," Your appointment is in three days. It's pretty close to my house, so it won't be a bother driving the two of you." Sans grasped for the notepad, his eye-light reading over the scrawly, inked handwriting and snapped back up to your face. 

"you sure?" he started," how much is this going to cost you? we don't have any money and we could never ask you to expend any." You waved your hand dismissively, chuckling. 

"Don't worry about that," you reassured him," they're a monster place and they don't charge their patients for any sort of work, especially other monsters." Papyrus snatched the pad from Sans, bringing it up real close to his face and squinting so that he can read it correctly. You forgot you needed to run by and try to buy him a pair of readers to ease the eye-strain, maybe you'll do that on the same day as the appointment so that he can get a pair he likes. 

"THIS IS QUITE AMAZING," Papyrus responded for Sans, who clinked his teeth together and just let his brother decide for himself," THOUGH HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET US OUT OF THE FOREST? YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT KIDNAPPING US, SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU HAVE TO BOUND US TOGETHER WITH ROPE AND PUT GAGS IN OUR MOUTHS?" You and Sans choked on air, you beating your chest and desperately trying to respond. 

"No, oh, God, no," you spoke, voice strained," I'm just going to have you guys walk with me to the forest in a calm and orderly fashion so that we don't attract any attention, then I'll already have my car parked by the woods so that we can drive away. It'll be like a heist." Papyrus repeatedly clapped his hands together and fixed Sans with a beaming expression, he was just as hyper and jittery as he could be. 

"WOWIE!! SANS, WE'LL BE JUST LIKE JASON BOURNE!!" Sans deadpanned, teeth clenched together and his pupil slowly slid towards you. 

"i was hoping we could be like liam neeson," his response was meant to be a joke, but you felt shivers go down your spine. Was he upset with you? 

"Sans, do you not want to do this?" You were fully prepared to reschedule the appointment and give the boys long enough to adjust so that they would feel comfortable with leaving their home, but Sans' brow bones rose up on his forehead and he cut your thinking off. 

"oh, hell yeah," he shrugged," was just imaging a lot more cool action scenes and sucker-punching a certain someone straight in the face, but this is cool, too." 

"Me? You want to punch me?" you asked, now confused by his reactions and not quite understanding what was going on.

"by stars, never. i'd never wanna punch you," he sputtered out," i just hate that this is what it had to come to." He grumbled out the last part and you realized he was bitter. That's what was wrong with him. Sans hated that they had to be 'kidnapped' just to be able to see the outside world, to interact with other humans and monsters, to touch the sidewalk and finally realize the beauty of everything. Then it clicked. 

"You guys have never stepped foot out of this forest, right?" That meant that not only would this be important for Papyrus' dental health, but to their souls too. Seeing the real world and getting the chance to be surrounded by hustling and bustling people would be like giving candy to a child for them. A smile grin graced your lips and your brows drew upwards, picturing how happy they'll look. 

"NOPE," Papyrus answered you, hands wringing together anxiously and his voice dropped. "That's Not Going To Be A Problem, Is It?" You shook your head and grabbed for his hands, holding them tightly and giving a gentle squeeze. 

"Definitely not! That just means that I'll have to do something special for you guys," you chattered, deeply invested in making sure they enjoyed their time out of the forest. "We can go out to eat, maybe grab some ice cream or a smoothie if you'd like that. Before or after the visit, you guys can decide. I'm pretty okay with anything." Papyrus seemed to bounce in place, body now trembling. 

"YOU CAN TAKE US TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! REMEMBER, YOU ARE KIDNAPPING US," Sans snickered and you rolled your eyes. 

"All right then," you ended and then pushed out all of the ideas swimming around in your brain, now curious over what they had to talk to you about. "So, now that that's out of the way, what did you two need?" Once more, the air suddenly became heavy and it was so suffocating. You could hear your own heartbeat pound in your eardrums, just watching Papyrus and Sans shift awkwardly. They refused to meet your gaze and instead opted for looking at the peeling wallpaper. 

"Boys?" 

"OKAY, (NAME)," Papyrus said and finally turned back to you," YOU HAVE TO PROMISE US THAT YOU WON'T FREAK OUT OR MAKE FUN OF US." Not a weird request, but it piqued your curiosity. Were they going to confess to you? You grimaced at the thought, unsure on how entirely you would go about responding. You haven't known them long enough to develop feelings for them and you weren't exactly sure it would be a good idea to drag yourself into a relationship with two mentally unstable people before they even received treatment. You'll have to let them down easily. 

"I promise," you stated. Sans examined your face, now mirroring your expression before turning to Papyrus. 

"so you know how we have souls, yeah?" he started, surprising you at his sudden boldness but you nodded. 

"WELL, YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT METAPHORICAL LIKE HOW YOU HUMANS USED TO THINK THEY WERE UNTIL MONSTERS SURFACED?" Once again, you nodded. 

"would it, uh, surprise you, to say the least, that, um, you have a soulmate?" Sans garbled out. 

"No, I wouldn't be surprised at all," you replied," actually, my friends Alfred and Fangs are soulmates. That means I must have one too, right?" You hummed in thought, curious as to where this could be leading to. Just what could they be insinuating? 

"THEN IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE YOU THAT WE, TOO, HAVE SOULMATES," Papyrus edged on and you smiled. 

"Yes, and I hope one day you'll be able to meet them," you chirped and clasped your hands together. Sans and Papyrus shared a look, brow bones drawn close. 

"WELL, SEE, WE'VE ALREADY MET THEM," Papyrus tried to say each word evenly, but you could pick up on the nervous wobble that ended each syllable. This came as a shock to you. They had? Could you perhaps have read all of the signs wrong and maybe they just acted overly friend because of their lack of social interaction? _It would definitely make sense,_ you reprimanded yourself, _maybe you shouldn't be so shallow and not assume every traumatized person you meet is into you or something._

"Really? Was it someone related to your landlord?" It seemed to be the only thing that made sense. They haven't left the forest, so maybe their landlord had a sibling that they were soulmates with. What would suck is if it was their landlord. Sans' mandible fell and his maroon pupil shrunk before darting to Papyrus. 

"bro, she really doesn't know," he murmured," was afraid she would." He was ignored by Papyrus, who pressed on, determined. 

"STARS, NO, THEY'RE DEFINITELY NOT IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM RELATED TO HIM," Papyrus moaned out dramatically, covering his eye sockets with the palm of his hand," NO, IT'S SOMEONE ELSE." You blinked at him. If it wasn't someone related to the landlord and they've already met them, then who could it possibly be?

"Oh, then who is it?" you queried and Sans cleared his throat. 

"(name), i think you already know," he whispered in a mutter. 

"Who...?" you trailed off, looking at Sans and then back to Papyrus. You took in their forms, Papyrus leaning back away from the little group huddle and his skull was angled off to the side. Sans was hidden away in the fur of his parka and he seemed to be shivering. 

"OUR SOULMATE..." Papyrus began but seemed unable to bring himself to finish. 

"is..." Sans egged him on, continuing the sentence in hopes that Papyrus would be the one to say it. 

"Your soulmate is...?" Papyrus finally uncovered his eyes and it only took one look into his dimmed eye lights and then it all made sense. 

"Oh, my God." 

* * *

"..." 

Sans and Papyrus stared at each other expectantly, neither of them saying a single word. Papyrus frowned and his shoulders drooped in disappointment, Sans trailed his red orb up his brother's chest and averted his sight. 

"heh. hehe. hehehehehehe," Sans began to uncomfortably giggle to himself, trying hard to remain calm. His hands were trembling and he still hadn't even admitted to his brother who his soulmate was. Sans was nervous, way too afraid to even say your name to Papyrus - his brother, of all monsters! Papyrus appeared to be thinking the same thing and he reached up, scratched the back of his skull in embarrassment before he met Sans' eye. 

"SO....UH, THIS IS AWKWARD," he stated. Sans was only able to nod at his brother. The both of them just kind of technically lied and let the other down, so neither really knew where to go from here. 

"yep," Sans just kind of...said. He felt dumb as soon as the word slipped off the tip of his tongue but there wasn't really anything he could do except say," welp, i'm going to grillby's." He almost jumped up to his feet and sprinted away, but Papyrus shot forward and grasped his elbow. 

"BROTHER, YOU DON'T," he started, but stopped, "YOU WON'T YELL AT ME? OR GET MAD? YOU WON'T STOP ME FROM SEEING THEM, RIGHT?" Sans twisted his skull around and looked at Papyrus over his shoulder, his permanent grin tight and twitching down into a grimace. 

"it depends on who it is," Sans muttered," like if you tell me some weird thing such as 'oh, it's blue!!' or 'edge is my baaaabyyy!!!' then i might forbid it." Papyrus' brows furrowed and he shuddered involuntarily. 

"I THINK I'D END IT IF THEY WERE MY SOULMATES, BUT NO. IT'S NOT THEM," Papyrus countered," IT'S...It's...it's (name)." His voice quieted down so much that Sans had to will his eardrums to hear Papyrus, but when he did, Sans immediately froze up. He slowly pivoted around on the balls of his feet, staring down Papyrus hard, cold, and calculating. Did he just say...?

"who was that you said?" Papyrus must have misinterpreted Sans' actions because he started spewing out apologies and pleas left and right, hands clenching tightly together so much so that his metacarpals bulged out and glimmered in the light. 

"BROTHER, PLEASE, I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND," Papyrus wailed," IT'S NOT THAT BAD!!! SHE'S VERY NICE!!! I THOUGHT THE TWO OF YOU WERE FRIENDS AND THAT IT WOULD BE OKAY!!" Sans numbly shook his head. 

"paps, i just want to know whose name you just said," Sans brushed off what Papyrus said, already sure he knew exactly who his brother's soulmate was and a dagger stabbed through his heart. 

"...(N-NAME)," Papyrus blurted out with a stutter and Sans felt as if he had been suddenly pulled out of this existence and thrown into the void. Or, at least, that's what he wished had happened. Sans was so shook that he couldn't actually believe it. He and his brother were soulmates with the _same_ _person_. How was that even possible? Maybe it was because the two brothers were inseparable, so it would make sense if some higher power _did_ make their soulmate the same person so that they didn't have ever separate. 

Papyrus, once again, misunderstood the reaction and started freaking out. 

"BROTHER, SHE'S GOOD, YOU KNOW THIS, I-"

"paps," said Sans and Papyrus clinked his mouth shut," it's okay." Papyrus visibly relaxed and the tension left his body, sighing out happily. 

"GOOD, I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD BE OKAY-"

"'cause she's my soulmate, too." 

If Papyrus had eyeballs, they would have popped out of his head at that. The two brothers had a staredown until Papyrus finally broke, averted his eyes and smiled weirdly. 

"NYEH, HEH, HEH," Papyrus laughed forcibly," OF COURSE, WHY WOULD IT BE ANYTHING ELSE." Papyrus looked down at his black loafers, now realizing the mess the two of them were in. He knew his brother was a comedian, that he liked jokes, of course. But souls and soulmates? Not a topic Sans really liked to joke about. Thus Papyrus instantly knew that his brother wasn't kidding and that the two of them really did have the same soulmate. Sans fixed him with an odd leer before he sighed. 

"bro, you know that i have to tell classic about her, yeah?" Papyrus sprang up faster than lightning. 

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL HIM THAT SHE'S OUR SOULMATE, ARE YOU?" Papyrus' teeth chattered together anxiously and his eye-lights roamed the room, afraid that Classic might be just around a corner. Sans shook his head. 

"'course not, he ain't gonna get a soulmate if it's the last thing i do," Sans grumbled out hatefully," but i gotta tell them we're friends with a human in case they pop in for a visit and she's here." Papyrus still looked fearful and only looked at his brother blankly. 

"BUT-"

"listen, if they see we gotta human, then they're gonna take her away and we'll be in big trouble," Sans explained," so if i tell 'em, then it won't be a big deal." 

"OUR CONTRACT THOUGH..." Papyrus whispered. 

"the contract just said we ain't allowed to leave the forest, not befriend any humans that come wandering up to our front door, 'kay?" Sans tried to comfort his brother, now feeling the waves of anxiety that resonated off of Papyrus and trying to clear his mind. "they won't be mad, i mean, they might, but they can't stop the human from coming here." Papyrus watched his brother for a long time until he finally heaved and agreed, flopping down onto the couch worriedly.

"OH, ALL RIGHT, JUST TRY NOT TO UPSET THEM," Papyrus' resolve seemed forced and Sans could tell his brother obviously didn't want the others to know about (Name), but it was either they fessed up or they get in big trouble if one of them come to deliver food and she's here. _Pick your poison,_ Sans growled in his mind and teleported to his room after nodding to Papyrus. 

He fished his cellphone out of his jacket's pocket and unlocked it, clicking the 'Messages' app and pulling up the group chat between all of the skeletons that resided in these woods. As much as he hated to do this, he brought his phalanges to the screen and began typing. 

**You:** we met a human

Sans mindlessly wrote the sentence out and didn't realize autocorrect was on nor did he remember that he had made a shortcut for that phrase in his phone, so before he noticed the sentence had changed as he hit send, Sans had already pressed the button. 

**You:** eats ate a s s

As soon as his mind registered what appeared on screen, a screech threatened to rip through him. Oh, my stars. Sans had forgotten that a long time ago when he thought he never would meet a human, he had created that shortcut for 'we met a human' in spite to Classic, who wanted to basically control them. That meant confessing if they had met any humans. Welp, now look where it got him. Before he was able to correct himself, one of the other skeletons had read the message and responded. 

**rusty-crusty:** ...well 

**rusty-crusty:** sounds like you're having a good time. 

**blues clues:** WOWZERS, AXE. UM, I DON'T KNOW IF I WANTED TO KNOW THIS, BUT THANK YOU FOR SHARING.

**best bro in the world:** OH! MY! GOD! BROTHER! 

**edgy mc mcr:** THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE READ ALL DAY. 

**blackjack:** I AGREE. EDGE, CARE TO JOIN ME FOR SHOTS OF BLEACH?

**dodger wanna-be:** god, i wish that were me 

**fake paps:** WOWIE! THANKS, I HATE IT. 

**stretch armstrong:** ...mood...? 

To say he was mortified would be an understatement. Sans could only stare down at his phone in horror before he shook his head and quickly fixed his mistake, hoping to forget this had ever happened. 

**You:** shut up, rust. 

**You:** no, what i meant to say was 'my bro and me are friends with a human' 

Nobody responded to that message, but he saw that everyone had read it. Which included the one person he hated most. Sans can only wait in anticipation as he saw the words appear on his screen. 

_***classic is typing...** _


	8. und du bist einfach wunderbar!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So, let me give you a name guide: stretch armstrong: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus), blues-clues: Blue (Underswap Sans), blackjack: Black (Fellswap Sans), dodger wanna-be: Dodger (Fellswap Papyrus), rusty-crusty: Rust (Underfell Sans), edgy mc mcr: Edge (Underfell Papyrus), best bro in the world: {our} Papyrus (Horrortale), fake paps: Papyrus (Undertale). 
> 
> Now, I'll be developing my nicknames for the Horrortale bros in the next few chapters, so stay tuned for that! Also, don't worry, the build for the punch is almost done! It's coming!!!!!

**_*classic stopped typing._ **

Sans blinked at his screen, now thoroughly worried and confused. He arched a brow, the tips of his phalanges hovering over his keyboard and trying to think of the perfect way to word his response. If Classic so desperately wished to control and watch over them like a hawk, then he must obviously be either super furious or totally cool with it. Maybe both. Perhaps Sans might just have to fess up and state that they're soulmates with you but was unable to once the hell-storm that is the other skeletons began chatting. 

**blues-clues:** OH! OH, MY STARS! WOW WOW WOW!!! A HUMAN??? BEFRIEND YOU GUYS??? OH, GOSH??? WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU GUYS....

 **rusty-crusty:** weird, psychopathic cannibals in my basement? it's more likely than you think. 

**dodger wanna-be:** i mean... _tibia_ honest, guys.... i'd let 'em eat me.

 **blackjack:** YOU JUST MADE THIS TEN TIMES WORSE, BROTHER. BEFORE I ONLY WANTED TO DIE, BUT NOW I JUST WANT TO BE BEATEN WITH MY OWN FEMURS. 

**stretch armstrong:** i can help ya with that, gotta few femurs i can spare

 **blackjack:** RECORD SCRATCH, FREEZE FRAME - I'M GOING TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE. 

**edgy mc mcr:** SO, I BET YOU'RE WONDERING HOW I GOT HERE. WELL, IT ALL BEGINS WITH A COUPLE OF CANNIBALS. 

**fake paps:** HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU TWO HOW MUCH YOU ACT ALIKE? ONE DAY, I FEAR THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO IMPLODE IN ON ITSELF BECAUSE OF HOW POWERFUL THE TWO OF YOU ARE COMBINED. 

**blackjack:**...YES.

 **edgy mc mcr:** TREMBLE AT OUR SHEER DOMINANCE.

 **rusty-crusty:**...wink ;))

 **dodger wanna-be:** just end me, please. 

**blues-clues:** AND NOW _I'M_ GOING TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE. REMEMBER, GUYS, WE'RE TRYING HARD TO STAY POSITIVE. NO MORE OF THIS NONSENSE OF ANYONE ENDING ANYONE. 

**dodger wanna-be:** okay, i'll be positive about it. 

**dodger wanna-be:** god!!!!! i wish!!!! someone!!! anyone!!! i'm desperate and lonely!!!! please!!! destroy me!!! 

**blues-clues:** WHY DO I EVEN TRY SOMETIMES. 

**stretch armstrong:** quote period unquote. 

**rusty-crusty:** hard moan.

 **fake paps:** STOP. 

**rusty-crusty:** skull emoji, heart emoji, shocked cat face emoji, levitating man in business suit emoji. 

**fake paps:** WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THREATEN EVERYONE WITH THAT LAST EMOJI?

 **rusty-crusty:** are you going to tell me that you don't think the scatman emoji isn't at least a tad bit threatening?

 **fake paps:** I MEAN...YOU'RE NOT WRONG, IT'S JUST SLIGHTLY UNUSUAL. 

**rusty-crusty:** listen, if someone back in my universe would've threatened me with that, i would have been dusted immediately. me, spine gone, shivering on the ground. "welp, i'm going to grillby's." 

**edgy mc mcr:** BROTHER, YOU DID THAT JUST YESTERDAY WHEN I FORGOT TO PUT YOUR COFFEE MUG IN THE DISHWASHER. 

**rusty-crusty:** it was really sad times, bro. 

**stretch armstrong:** at least you didn't have to be the one to give him a foot massage, edge. it was the single worst experience of my life, zero out of ten stars - do not recommend. 

**rusty-crusty:** stretch, you promised me that you wouldn't tell anybody. D: 

**stretch armstrong:** man, that shit hurted. had to talk to someone about it. 

**edgy mc mcr:** RUST, HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD A FOOT FETISH? 

**dodger wanna-be:** rust, it's okay. this is a safe place. we don't judge kinks, we won't shame you. it's like how i expect you guys to not judge me for wanting someone to shove their literal entire leg inside of my body. 

**blackjack:** OH. OH, GOD. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE WORST THING I'VE EVER READ. 

**fake paps:** BUT I THINK THE BETTER QUESTION IS HOW DID STRETCH GET LOOPED INTO THAT? HE IS JUST AS LAZY AS MY OWN BROTHER! 

**stretch armstrong:** i'd...rather not say.

 **rusty-crusty:** i'll give y'all a hint: it involves britney spears and a dead cat. 

**blues-clues:** OKAY, AND WE'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT NOW.

 **fake paps:** OH, YEAH. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT AXE AND HIS NEW HUMAN FRIEND. UM, HOW DID YOU FIRST MEET THEM?

After reading how horribly off-track those skeletons managed to always get, Sans shook his head slightly and responded. He needed to find a way to avoid giving too much exposition because Sans _knows_ you've read the other chapters and he only wants to write out the key factors. 

**You:** so if i said that they stupidly, without a doubt, wandered into a trap because they were tripping on shrooms...

 **You:** would you believe me? 

It seemed like all of the other skeletons were too involved in this rather scintillating conversation because when Sans swiped to the left on his message, everyone had read it instantaneously. There was an uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw Classic's nickname as the first one to show up. Yeah, sure, the others were kind of amusing him right now and he sure as heck would be roasting them later on with Paps, but seeing Classic never made him feel good. Sans was just left staring at his screen with pinched brows and wondering when Classic was going to answer him or what he would even say. 

**best bro in the world:** AND IF IT WOULD BE OF ANY CONSULTATION OR PROOF, I CAN VOUCH FOR HIM. 

Sans grinned, he knew he could always count on his brother to be there for him. His phone stayed still and silence met him, then the panic ensued. All of the skeletons in this group chat except for his brother and he all lived in the nice and big and fancy mansion further into the woods. That meant that they didn't even really have to respond at all to his messages, they could just call a meeting and discuss it privately there and away from the two of them. Sans frowned, realizing that the only reason they were answering him in the first place is that they were probably getting a huge kick out of this. Damn, he really hated the others. 

**rusty-crusty:** uh, hell no

 **rusty-crusty:** we're stupid, not dumb

 **stretch armstrong:** kind of redundant there, rust.

 **dodger wanna-be:** but is he wrong? 

**blackjack:** WHILE THE THREE OF YOU MAY LACK INTELLIGENCE AND BRAIN CELLS, I PRIDE MYSELF ON MY TWO DEGREES AND MY THREE WELL PUBLISHED AND RECEIVED BOOKS. THEY'RE ABOUT MOOSE. 

**rusty-crusty:** _meese._

**blackjack:** NOW YOUR NUMBER HAS BEEN BLOCKED FOR THE NEXT FOUR HOURS. 

**edgy mc mcr:** I MUST AGREE WITH BLACK. THOSE BOOKS ABOUT MOOSE WERE RATHER THOUGHT-PROVOKING. 

**fake paps:** ESPECIALLY THE DIAGRAM OF HOW IT MAY JUST BE POSSIBLE TO FILL ONE WITH A MIXTURE OF SOAP AND BACON! HOW INTERESTING. 

**blues-clues:** I WAS ALMOST JEALOUS OF SUCH AMAZINGLY SCULPTED BOOKS, BLACK. BUT THEN I FOUND MY ART RESIDED IN HOW ONE CAN PERFECTLY BALANCE ONE'S BODY ON THE WATER WITH THE MERE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF CHEESE SNACKS AND MAGIC. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HUMANS PAY TO WATCH A SKELETON FLOAT ON WATER? 

**best bro in the world:** I DO HATE TO INTERRUPT, BUT, THE HUMAN. 

See, as much as Sans loved his brother, he would honestly prefer if the others continued to distract themselves so that he wouldn't have to keep explaining. Classic might just message him privately or drop by for a surprise visit - though hopefully not when you're present - to fork out all of the information he wanted from Sans. 

**blue-clues:** OH, THAT'S RIGHT. SO WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL US, AXE, IS THAT THIS HUMAN WAS DOING ILLEGAL DRUGS AND THEN ENDED UP IN A TRAP. WERE THEY INJURED? WHAT KIND OF TRAP WAS IT? DID YOU SCARE THEM INTO COMING BACK HOME WITH YOU????

 **rusty-crusty:** better than forcing them to stay the night, rust pointedly looks at edge.

 **edgy mc mcr:** CEASE YOUR INFERNAL YAPPING, BROTHER. 

**You:** yes, yes, no, a net, and no. 

**You:** paps had thought it would be best to bring them back home, said it was too dangerous.

 **You:** but you should've seen them, man. hehehe, playa' be trippin'

_please let this work out,_ Sans pleaded internally. If it doesn't work out, that means they might seriously have babysitters with them anytime the human came over or worse, you would think that these versions were more entertaining then them and ditch them. Sans shuddered the small thought away, not really wanting to imagine you waving your final goodbye and never returning. He doesn't think he can go to the daily cook-outs if you're there but not for them.

 **dodger wanna-be:** ahh, man, that's hot. 

**stretch armstrong:** rewind time. 

**rusty-crusty:** i'll get the fortnite dances started.

 **blackjack:** CAN WE KICK THEM OUT OF THIS CHAT? DO THEY ACTUALLY OFFER ANY FOOD FOR THOUGHT? EVER?

 **fake paps:** WELL, THEY DO PROVIDE NICE CONVERSATION BRIDGES.

 **blackjack:** LET'S BURN THEM THEN.

 **blues-clues:** OH, GOLLY. I DON'T THINK I PREPARED FOR THAT THIS MORNING....

 **edgy mc mcr:** TOLD YOU THAT YOU NEEDED TO STEP UP YOUR TRAINING REGIMENT. NOW LOOK AT YOU, SAD AND PATHETIC, CRYING ON THE GROUND, FEELING STUPID AND BETRAYED. 

**blues-clues:** I'M NOT CRYING ON THE GROUND!!!

 **edgy mc mcr:** YET. 

**rusty-crusty:** "stop friend/dude zoning me."

 **stretch armstrong:** "were not a couple."

 **rusty-crusty:** "yet." 

**fake paps:** AS MUCH AS I ENCOURAGE IN INDULGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT INTEREST YOU SUCH AS READING BAD FANFICTION, I DON'T APPROVE OF INCEST. OR, FONTCEST!!!!

 **dodger wanna-be:** we've become self-aware, reader. 

**blackjack:** WHAT ARE YOU GUYS EVEN SAYING. WHAT JUST OCCURRED IN THE PAST FEW MESSAGES? 

**rusty-crusty:** we'll try to cut down on the forth-wall breaks for now, but next chapter though...

 **edgy mc mcr:** BROTHER. 

**rusty-crusty:** all right, all right. i'm shutting my yap. so, axe, crooks brought 'em home? and the two of you didn't eat them?

 **best bro in the world:** RUST, WE DON'T EAT HUMANS ANY MORE. COULD WE MAKE THAT ANY MORE OBVIOUS? 

**dodger wanna-be:** he was a punk-

 **stretch armstrong:** she did ballet-

 **rusty-crusty:** what more can i say?

 **blues-clues:** SO, IGNORING THE AVRIL LAVIGNE THAT JUST ENTERED THE CHAT, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM WHEN YOU BROUGHT THEM BACK HOME, CROOKS?

Blinking back into reality after disassociating to whatever _Three Stooges_ nonsense Rust, Stretch, and Dodger just pulled, Sans slid his phalanges across the screen and began responding. Even though Blue had questioned his brother, Sans knew that Papyrus had a really hard time typing with his shaky hands and his failing sight. 

**You:** he cooked them some hella delicious spaghetti. they liked it. 

**blackjack:** OH, SURE, THEY WERE PROBABLY LYING. NO ONE COULD ACTUALLY LIKE THAT MESS. 

**blackjack:** EH, WHATEVER. THEN WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? DID YOU TORTURE THEM? SEND THEM BACK OFF INTO THE WILD TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES? 

**stretch armstrong:** jack their ulnas? 

**dodger wanna-be:** _oooh, marrow papi!_

 **rusty-crusty:** i thought we agreed that he was the calcium father? 

**blues-clues:** I HOPED THAT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TOO TERRIBLE. IF YOU SENT THEM BACK INTO THE WOODS, I HOPE YOU JOINED THEM BECAUSE YOU GUYS KNOW THAT THERE ARE MANY MORE TRAPS AND PUZZLES SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THE FOREST. IT WOULD BE AN IMMEDIATE DEMISE FOR THEM. 

**You:** you guys know that paps would never let that happen.

 **blackjack:** UH HUH, SURE. 

Sans paused halfway through his message, scowling at Black's message. Of course, his brother would care! Paps was one of the two best people Sans knew and he would never let someone suffer unless he could help it. That meant that even if Sans would have banished you from the house the very first night the three of you met, Papyrus would have huffed up and pulled his shoes back on and taken you home. The others really did undermine them. 

Rolling his eye-lights, Sans hit the backspace and quickly began to revise his message, making sure to be an absolute jerk right back at Black this time. He really hoped that this would be over fairly shortly, Sans doesn't think he has the mental capacity to handle their stupidity right now. 

**You:** paps wanted them to stay the night, so they slept in his bed and he slept in mine. that make sense to you losers?

 **dodger wanna-be:** yes, please, degrade me some more. you don't realize how much i wanna be RUINED. 

**rusty-crusty:** so there i was, floating ribs jut out in the open and honey dijon dribbling down my mandible. 

**stretch armstrong:** he reached out, held me, and i whimpered.

 **edgy mc mcr:** OKAY, THE TWO OF YOU HAVE BEEN PROHIBITED FROM WATCHING ANY MORE EPISODES OF _DAYS OF OUR LIVES._ IT REALLY ISN'T RUBBING OFF ON YOU TWO IN A GOOD WAY. 

**blues-clues:** THEY JUST....WILLING LAID THERE....LIKE....IN YOUR HOME....?

And in that moment, a feeling sparked to life somewhere deep inside of Sans' soul. It was fiery and kind of hot, it made him ache and it made his teeth grind together in annoyance. He. He wanted to punch them. Oh, my stars. His patience wasn't as good as it used to be before the accident with his skull, but whatever was left of it now is quickly diminishing. These skeletons really did test him sometimes. 

**You:** i am about to eat my own ass, yes

 **You:** why would they not lay there willingly?

 **You:** they were tripping out pretty badly and legit they couldn't even really walk.

 **rusty-crusty:** ah, now we're back at square one, eating ass. 

**dodger wanna-be:** oh, yeah. exactly back to where i wanna be.

 **stretch armstrong:** guys, do we need to have an intervention? 

**edgy mc mcr:** BLACK, WHY DO YOU NOT LIKE SURGEON SIMULATOR YOUR BROTHER'S RIBS? 

**blackjack:** COMPLETELY SHATTERING THEM OPEN WITH A MASSIVE HAMMER OR JUST FULL BLOWN SHOVING MY HAND STIFFLY THROUGH HIS GULLET?

 **edgy mc mcr:** YES. 

**rusty-crusty:** and this is where you must decide if you would rather it be one of his seven tongues that licks your bottom lip or that parasite that's inside of him reaching one of its tentacles out and caressing your lips. 

**stretch armstrong:** yes. 

**blackjack:** WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP DOING THIS? IT'S DOWNRIGHT HORRIFYING, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT. 

**blues-clues:** IT'S ALMOST AS IF SOME SICK CREATOR IS INSERTING THEIR OWN INSIDE JOKES INTO THIS STORY. 

**blackjack:** **_WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?_**

 **dodger wanna-be:** it obviously means that the author wrote their own inside jokes in this chapter just to get a few laughs out of their close friends. 

**dodger wanna-be:** a little goof, a little gaff.

 **rusty-crusty:** ratta-tat-tat, ratta-tat-tat, ratta-tat-tat. smell my phalangeeeee.

 **stretch armstrong:** i bet that's what you tell to all of your victims before you torture and subsequently murder them. 

**fake paps:** GUYS, NOW I'M SCARED. THOUGH THESE TANGENTS CAN PROVIDE HUMOR DURING CERTAIN CONVERSATIONS, I DON'T KNOW IF IT SHOULD OCCUR RIGHT NOW. ESPECIALLY WITH BLACK'S REACTION. HE MIGHT STROKE OUT. 

**blackjack:** NO, NO. I JUST HAD AN ANEURYSM, NOTHING TOO BIG. I'LL HANDLE. 

**fake paps:** SHOULD WE CALL A HUMAN AMBULANCE? I'M PRETTY SURE MONSTERs DON'T EXPERIENCE THESE 'ANEURYSMS', SO I THINK THAT MEANS THAT WE MIGHT NEED TO RELY ON THE HUMAN DOCTORS FOR THIS ONE.

 **blackjack:** NO, I WANT TO SUFFER. JUST LET ME SUFFER IN PEACE. 

**rusty-crusty:** "and black fixes them with a hard glare." 

**blackjack:** NO, I DO NOT. 

**rusty-crusty:** come on, man. just role-play with us. it's not even really that bad. it's pretty fun whenever you just throw all of your dignity out of the window and openly express it in the public's eye.

 **blackjack:** NEVER. EVER. NEVER EVER, NO! MY PRIDE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME. HOW WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO PUBLISH ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT THE BALANCED BUOYANCY AND ABSORBENCY OF MOOSE WHEN IN CONTACT WITH KOOL-AID JAMMERS IF THE PUBLIC SEES ME _ROLE-PLAYING????_ RIDDLE ME THIS, RUST. 

**edgy mc mcr:** I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO LET MY BROTHER RESPOND TO THAT.

 **stretch armstrong:** well, then what are you going to do?

 **edgy mc mcr:** I'M GOING TO ASK AXE TO CONTINUE HIS TALE WITH THE HUMAN. 

**fake paps:** WOWIE! THIS CHAT JUST ENDED UP SEEMING SO INTERESTING THAT I COMPLETELY LOST TRACK OF HOW THE POOR HUMAN FAIRED IN CROOKS' BED!!! 

Sans has currently flopped back onto his bed, mandible completely touching his chest and mouth wide open. Drool slipped out from the corners of his mouth, dampening the fur of his parka's hood. When he snapped back into reality, Sans had to scroll through the unread messages to see what he missed and he realized that he still hadn't even fully finished explaining. A groan of frustration left him but he sucked it up and continued typing. 

**You:** yeah, they slept just fine.

 **You:** had breakfast with them the next morning. paps made cinnamon sticks.

He decided that it would be best to leave out the part about you helping them through a panic attack or the fact that a panic attack had been triggered at all. If Sans wanted to make sure that Classic would be okay with a human coming around frequently, he had to make Classic believe that everything was a-okay. Sans glanced away from his phone, deciding what else he should tell them. 

**dodger wanna-be:** so like, question: 

**dodger wanna-be:** if you treated them to not only dinner, but breakfast as well, did you also treat 'em to a movie? 

**stretch armstrong:** why does that matter again?

 **rusty-crusty:** duh, because everyone knows that if you wanna get a home run

 **rusty-crusty:** then you gotta do a dinner then a movie. 

**stretch armstrong:** oh, my stars, they were trying to woo this human over the whole time?

 **dodger wanna-be:** i would have, tbh. 

**blues-clues:** IF YOU DID MANAGE TO HIT A 'HOME RUN', PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES. 

Never in his life had Sans been so flustered and angry. His grip on his cellphone tightened and he thought he might have heard a crack, probably meaning that he would be reading his messages on a broken screen from now on. Glancing back down to his phone, Sans was right. All over the fiberglass screen, there were hundreds of tiny, spindly cracks trailing down from the left side of the phone. 

**You:** unlike some of us,

 **You:** my bro and me have morals. so no, we didn't strike a home run.

 **rusty-crusty:** you're right. that's for the fifth date. 

**fake paps:** OKAY!!! I WILL MAKE SURE TO UPDATE MY DATING MANUAL. I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS "HOME RUN" THING WAS SO IMPORTANT FOR DATEMATES!!!!! 

**dodger wanna-be:** ohhh, yeah. it's the best part of dating. 

**rusty-crusty:** i don't know, the feet touching may be my favorite part. 

**stretch armstrong:** that just makes what i did to you ten times dirtier and more intimate than what i originally thought and wanted. i feel scandalized. 

**edgy mc mcr:** OH, DEARY. STRETCH IF I HAVE TO PAY FOR THERAPY SESSIONS, I CAN? 

**stretch armstrong:** thanks, edge. i appreciate it but to be honest, i like the way it burns. 

**dodger wanna-be:** let me start up the eminem and rihanna. 

**blackjack:** LET'S NOT. 

Okay, time to end this before it escalates even worse than it already is. Sans scratched his chin in thought, wracking his to remember exactly what happened the day they took you home. Had he walked with you and Paps? Yes, he hummed to himself and angled his head up just a bit. Things were hard to remember unless he wrote them down when he deemed them to be super special secret important, so little details didn't matter much to him anymore. Sans tried to accurately remember how it went, but how it felt when you gingerly held his hand clouded his mind and he just found himself craving that warmth again. 

Where was he again? Oh, yeah. Telling them about the journey back home. 

**You:** 'kay

 **You:** so we took them home 

**You:** but don't worry we didn't leave the forest so it's all good 

**You:** it's all good, right?

 **You:** we're allowed to go to the edge of the forest, right?

 **You:** come on, someone please tell me it's all right

 **blues-clues:** WELL, YES. IT CERTAINLY IS ALLOTTED THAT YOU AND YOUR BROTHER MAY VENTURE THROUGH AND AROUND THE FOREST. THE TWO OF YOU ARE JUST NOT TO STEP FOOT OUTSIDE OF HERE. 

**rusty-crusty:** i don't even think the two of you freaks should be allowed to leave the house. 

**edgy mc mcr:** HEEL, BROTHER. BE NICE, WE DON'T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY ENRAGE ONE OF THEM AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. 

**stretch armstrong:** i do think the two of you are just been a teensy-weensy bit mean. 

**blackjack:** OR FULL-BLOWN RUDE. BUT I AGREE, TREAD CAREFULLY AROUND THOSE TWO. 

**blues-clues:** MY BROTHER IS RIGHT. THE THREE OF YOU NEED TO TRY TO BE NICER TO THEM, EVEN IF THEY MAY SNAP ONE DAY AND EAT OUR BRAINS, BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT. WHEN I SAID THAT WE ARE ALL TRYING TO BE MORE POSITIVE, I MEANT ALL OF US. THAT INCLUDES THOSE TWO, AS WELL. 

**fake paps:** THAT IS COMPLETELY TRUE! I THINK THAT ALL OF US SHOULD TRY TO GET ALONG, IT'LL DEFINITELY MAKE THINGS MORE BEARABLE AROUND HERE. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE OTHER VERSIONS OF US COME ALONG FOR ALL OF THE HOLIDAYS AND CELEBRATION DAYS!!!! AXE AND CROOKS DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH KINDNESS, TOO!!!

The cracks on Sans' screen only increased the angrier he became with each passing message from those edgy versions of themselves, but Blue and the Fake Papyrus did make him pause and smile slightly. Even though they weren't always the nicest or able to say the best things, sometimes they were just right. Sans had been considering telling them all to piss right off and chew away his metaphorical liver, but their nice messages stopped him. It was probably better that way because if Sans lost his temper and then began cussing them out over messages, then they might be banned from interacting with you. Can't let that happen.

 **You:** thank you, blue and other papyrus

 **You:** okay, well, after we walked them as far as we could

 **You:** they decided that they wanted to continue seeing us

 **You:** so they kept coming back and now they're our friend

 **You:** that make sense to y'all?

 **rusty-crusty:** not at all.

 **You:** how could that literally not make sense to you?

 **You:** i know you're stupid, but come on, throw me a bone. 

**rusty-crusty:** hey

 **rusty-crusty:** it be like that sometimes. 

**stretch armstrong:** yeah, it makes sense. 

**dodger wanna-be:** how lucky does a guy gotta be to get a friend like that?

 **dodger wanna-be:** please teach me your ways. 

**edgy mc mcr:** SO, THERE WAS ACTUALLY SOMEONE THAT MET YOU TWO AND ACTUALLY WANTED TO KEEP SEEING YOU?

 **blackjack:** SO MUCH SO THAT NOT ONLY WOULD THEY WANT TO SEE YOU ONCE, BUT AGAIN? REPEATEDLY?

 **rusty-crusty:** see, guys, that was the part that didn't make sense to me. 

**rusty-crusty:** someone wants to be their friend?

 **rusty-crusty:** what am i, chopped liver?

 **stretch armstrong:** you could be. 

**blues-clues:** WELL, I THINK IT'S GREAT! I KNOW THAT THE TWO OF YOU WOULD TOTALLY BENEFIT FROM HAVING FRIENDS. GEE, IT'S KIND OF MAKING ME FEEL SORRY FOR NOT DROPPING BY VERY OFTEN, BUT LIFE ON THE SURFACE IS HECTIC AND TIME GOES SO MUCH DIFFERENTLY THAT I'M NOT EVEN TOO SURE I KNOW THE DAYS OF THE WEEK IN THEIR CORRECT ORDER. 

This was where Sans scowled. He couldn't believe Blue's audacity. Paps has been completely suffering for the past few months and all he has to say is he isn't even sure of the days of the week? Yeah, right. If Sans could even bring himself to believe that, he knew that not knowing months or days or hours wouldn't stop him from visiting a friend. Depression, maybe. 

**fake paps:** I AGREE! I DO HOPE THAT SOMETIME YOU WOULDN'T MIND SWINGING BY THE MANSION WITH THEM. I'M SURE THAT WE WOULD ALL LOVE TO MEET THEM! 

Inside, there was only emptiness, a numbness. Sans lowered his arm and relaxed his hand in his lap, staring at his wall and zoning out. That was it. That was exactly what Sans was afraid of. He and his brother were broken, they had a hand-load of problems. They came from a horrible universe, one filled with starvation and decay and death. If you met them, shit, if you met the original Sans and Papyrus, then you really would up and leave them. You were _their_ soulmate, to be honest. 

Sans knew he was possessive, it was a fairly common trait that ran through all of the Sanses. He was protective _and_ possessive. That was why some part in him quivered away in disgust at the idea of bringing you up to the mansion, but another thought wiggled into the innards of his mind. It scared him, made him arch his spine up by a fraction of an inch and wrench his eyelids shut. Sanses were also really insecure and right about now, his insecurities were surfacing. As much as he loved his brother and hated himself, he knew that you would more than likely think of the Classic Papyrus as so much more endearing or Classic Sans so much funnier because he can actually remember a full comedy skit instead of just bits and bobs like him. 

You would leave them....wouldn't you? 

No, no, you just couldn't. After all the trouble you'd been through and how far you've already gone out of the way for them, it just didn't seem likely. Okay, Sans, calm down. You're a good human, you care about him and Papyrus, you wouldn't replace them. Hopefully. 

**You:** maybe

 **You:** it depends on how they feel about that.

 **You:** they're smarter than your average cookie.

 **You:** they just might find out the truth about us.

Though it was true that you were rather intelligent, it probably was likely that you wouldn't guess that all of the skeletons were all actually two skeletons but from many other universes. That was more just a subtle jest at the fact that Sans could care less for the fact that Classic just wanted to keep it hidden like a dirty little secret and was eventually going to come clean and confess to you. It wasn't right to hide that to someone they were friends with, much less a _soulmate_. Guess that also means that Sans will have to let you know that you're not actually soulmates with him and his brother, but this universe's skeleton brothers. Ew. 

**stretch armstrong:** there's just no way. no one else has been able to figure it out, what makes them so special? 

**blackjack:** I'M WITH STRETCH HERE. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT ID CARDS, EXCEPT FOR YOU TWO, THAT ALL HAVE DIFFERENT NAMES ON THEM AND VARIOUS OTHER TRIVIAL FACTS THAT TOTALLY PROVE WE'RE DIFFERENT MONSTERS BORN IN THIS UNIVERSE. DID I MENTION THE WORD _DIFFERENT_? 

**rusty-crusty:** plus all of you other sanses are ugly compared to me. HA! zing. 

**rusty-crusty:** OW! black, man, what the hell? did you just send a bone attack at me through the floor? not cool AT ALL. 

**blackjack:** WHOOPS, MUST HAVE BEEN A SLIP OF THE HAND. I'M SORRY, RUST. 

**rusty-crusty:** you ain't sorry, dude. 

**rusty-crusty:** OW!!!

 **rusty-crusty:** my point proven!!!

 **rusty-crusty:** you just sent another one!!! it hit my tarsal!!!! 

**You:** sorry to cut this amazing interaction short but

 **You:** they ain't stupid

 **You:** all of us look alike

 **You:** i mean, you would have to be brain dead to not realize it.

 **blues-clues:** THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO STEER THEIR THINKING ONTO ANOTHER TRACK! IF THEY'RE YOUR FRIEND, THEN THEY SHOULD TRUST YOU AND THEN YOU CAN JUST NOT TELL THEM WE'RE THE SAME TWO PEOPLE. 

And there's what Sans was talking about. Blue was a pretty decent person with a strong set of morals, except for whenever it came to this. Slapping his palm to his face and dragging it down, Sans just rolled his eyes in disregard. Yeah, right. Like hell was he not going to tell you the truth. It just seemed so wrong not to. 

**You:** i

 **You:** that's so fucked up on many levels, blue

 **edgy mc mcr:** IT MAY BE, BUT IT'S WHAT WE HAVE TO DO. CLASSIC WANTS US TO BECAUSE IT'S SAFER FOR US THAT WAY. 

**fake paps:** HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW, AXE? MY BROTHER KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING AND WHAT'S BEST FOR US. WE SHOULD LISTEN TO THE RULES HE SET OUT. 

Sans was mad, he was angry, he was furious, he was absolutely livid. How dare he? How dare he actually say that! There was no way in hell that threatening to dust someone because they walked out of some trees was what was best from him and his brother. 

**You:** yeah, maybe because you guys won't get dusted

 **You:** but it doesn't matter

 **You:** fine

 **You:** i won't tell them. but if they find out on their own, then it ain't my fault. capiche?

 **fake paps:** I SUPPOSE SO. I GUESS YOU JUST NEED TO TRY YOUR HARDEST TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY DON'T FIND OUT THEN! MAYBE INSTEAD OF BRINGING THEM TO THE MANSION, WE CAN COME TO VISIT YOU GUYS! MAYBE INDIVIDUALLY OR IN PAIRS, THAT WAY THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO COMPARE OUR DASHING GOOD LOOKS WHEN ALL OF US ARE STANDING TOGETHER AND INSTEAD THEY'LL BE LEFT DISORIENTED. IT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, YES? 

**blues-clues:** IT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA! I'D LOVE TO DO IT. IF THIS HUMAN IS ABLE TO BEFRIEND EVEN AXE AND CROOKS, WHO KNOWS HOW THEY'LL BE WITH THE REST OF US??? OH, MAN! I HOPE THEY'RE NICE.

 **rusty-crusty:** oh, hell yeah. let's go get some nice human tail. 

**dodger wanna-be:** sorry for dropping out, had some barbeque sauce to slurp, but yeah. i'm in.

 **blackjack:** FOR ONE: BROTHER, I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT STUFF AWAY FROM YOU. FOR TWO: I FIFTH THAT IDEA. I WANT TO MEET THIS HUMAN! SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS. 

**edgy mc mcr:** C'EST MOI. 

**blackjack:** C'EST _US_. 

**edgy mc mcr:** SURE, WHATEVER, BLACK. I'LL GO BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS GOING AND SOMEONE HAS TO KEEP HIM IN CHECK. 

**stretch armstrong:** i literally have nothing better to do. 

Then that was it. That was exactly what Sans didn't want to happen and now it's going to happen. A frustrated groan escaped him and he was pretty sure he heard Papyrus scream from all the way downstairs, too. Those damn skeletons have it in their heads that Sans and Papyrus actually want them to visit, despite all of the mindlessly cruel things they've inflicted or said to them. Lovely. 

When Sans glanced back at his screen after having to look away and calm his erratic breathing, his heart stopped. Finally, after a full four conversations later of absolute nonsense, he saw it. 

_***classic is typing...** _

He absentmindedly began chewing on this ends of his phalanges, worry wracking through his brain and he even scrolled up to see if he had said anything wrong. He hadn't broken any part of the contract - yet - and the others seemed all right with it, enough so that they wanted to meet you. So what could Classic be typing? Was he going to agree with the others? Was he going to be summoned to the mansion to be dusted? The world may never know. 

Then Sans read it. 

**classic:** welp...

 **classic:** that's not good.


	9. es ist perfekt, so das ist mein leben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, what you all have been waiting for! No, it's not the punch.

"So it's me?" You asked, scarily calm. Sans and Papyrus stared down your form almost as if you had grown a second head, brow-bones arched all the way up their foreheads and they shared a glance. Sans jumped a bit, clearly embarrassed and looked down at his feet. Papyrus was shivering slightly, jittery and he was averting his eyes as much as possible, his little eye-light practically prancing around in his sockets around your figure. You popped your hip up, settled your hand on it and quizzically quirked a brow at them. 

"Are neither of you going to answer me?" you lowered your voice, face all drawn up and fixed on the brothers with a tender gaze. "Listen, I'm not upset but I really need for one of you to say something." Papyrus finally settled his pupils on you, drinking in your demeanor and shuddering. He cleared his throat, lifting his arm and awkwardly coughing into his fist. Sans refused to budge, but you noticed that he had angled his skull just barely over to the side to indicate he was definitely paying attention. 

"WELL, UM, YES," Papyrus warbled out, an uncomfortable smile pinching the corners of his mouth. "YOU ARE OUR SOULMATE." You blanched, confusion etched into your features. You exaggeratedly blinked once and shook your head lightly a few times, lips pursed. 

"'Our'?" you said, "What do you mean by that?" A part of you believed that it was plausible that you might possibly, maybe, be soulmates with _one_ of them, but _both_ of them? Totally where you draw the line and chalk it up to their current conditions. You frowned, glancing away from them for a moment and trying to swallow down the sudden rushing wave of sympathy to avoid betraying your cool and calculating exterior. Papyrus took a step back from you, sensing your spiked emotions that were more than likely currently reflecting off of your soul. Sans actually spared a glance at you but his eye-lights immediately shot back down whenever you locked eyes for a terse second. 

"WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS THAT YOU ARE NOT JUST MY SOULMATE OR SANS' SOULMATE, BUT BOTH OF OURS SOULMATE," he explained, hands waving around in the air as he spoke," WHICH I KNOW IT MIGHT SOUND JUST A TAD CRAZY BUT YOU REALLY SHOULD HEAR US OUT!" Papyrus exclaimed the last part of his sentence, hands now steady and face down and jut towards you. Blinking, you quickly looked at his hands and back up to his face, now worried. 

"All right, I'm listening," you mumbled, not sure if you really should be encouraging his strange insinuations and instead trying to work on his social skills that not everyone you meet will be soulmates with you or your brother. Papyrus' smile turned genuine for a split second before it morphed back into deranged and nervous, his hands trembling. 

"MY BROTHER DOESN'T LIKE TO JOKE ABOUT SOULMATES OR SOULS IN GENERAL BECAUSE OF HOW INTIMATE IT IS TO US MONSTERS, SO WHENEVER I FELT THE CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU AND ME, I CONFESSED TO SANS," Papyrus rambled out, his train of thought not entirely in order of sequence but you managed to catch his drift," HE TOLD ME THAT WE HAD THE SAME SOULMATE! I WAS THOROUGHLY CONFUSED AND SORT OF ENRAGED THAT SANS WOULD DARE MAKE A JOKE ABOUT ME AND YOU, BUT THEN I REALIZED IMMEDIATELY THAT IT WASN'T A JOKE. SANS WAS SERIOUS." Papyrus directed a pointed glare at Sans, trying to silently signal to him that he needed to speak up and help explain this absolutely mad situation or else he feared you might bolt right on out the door. Sans felt the glare and closed his eyes, a sigh escaping past his teeth before he murmured out the rest of the explanation. 

"yer our soulmate, no jokes, no bonker skeletons in the woods trying to pull a lil' sneaky on ya," Sans said," it's the truth and nothing but the truth." You might have chuckled at Sans, rolled your eyes and lightly punched his humerus had this all been an elaborate prank; however, how quiet and timid he sounded made you hesitate from bursting out into laughter and trying to sweep this whole thing under the brush. Sans hardly ever spoke like that, lest it was a serious matter or he had slipped into an episode. It made you sick to your tummy. These guys thought this was for real! 

Fear tickled the edges of your mind and you stumbled back a few feet, your eyes darting over to the door just to see how far away it was. They needed help and you should have reported them the moment you realized all of their issues, this was getting too dangerous now. You accidentally egged it on too far and now the two of them had convinced themselves that they were somehow miraculously your soulmate. Papyrus and Sans both noticed that they had upset you and panicked, stepping forward with their hands out in the universal 'we're not going to hurt you' way. 

"(NAME), PLEASE, WE'RE AREN'T LYING TO YOU," Papyrus pleaded, the pitch of his voice really intense and raised a few octaves. Sans nodded hastily, the bottoms of his eye sockets pushed up and crinkling at the edges. His cheekbones were prominent like Papyrus' now and you could tell how tense Sans was, his entire body was shaking. 

"please, we **_promise_** you," he added on," we can even prove it." This made you stop dead in your tracks and you rose a brow, lips taut, chapped, and dry. You licked them and folded in on yourself, worried about how exactly they could prove that. You didn't really know much about souls, hell, you hadn't even seen your own soul. Many monsters made some huge bank preying on naive humans that were interested in magic and souls and HP and EXP, offering to show them their stats for a hefty price. A lot of humans fell for it but you never did. You never cared enough. Monsters could see souls, but how can they prove that you're soulmates with just that? 

Honestly, you were so scared and you've never been this terrified in your entire lifetime. Papyrus and Sans were more powerful than you what with having magic and being bigger than you, they could probably do whatever they wanted. Though you trusted them, this past hour has proven just how delusional they were and it made your heart fall into a pit in your stomach. 

"H-How can you do that?" Damn! You had stuttered, you really hadn't meant to do that. Sad and hurt looks flashed across their faces and you were afraid that you had just messed up big time, but Papyrus shook his skull and rapidly blinked back tears before answering you.

"YOUR SOUL," he started," WE CAN SHOW YOU YOUR SOUL, THEN YOU'LL SEE THAT WE'RE NOT LYING." They could theoretically do just that, but once again, what would that do to prove anything? You gulped, straightened up carefully and fixed him with an interested stare. Okay, try not to upset them again and maybe you'll survive this encounter scot-free. 

"You'll show me my soul?" you asked. 

"ONLY IF YOU WANT US TO!" Papyrus immediately interjected, shoulders brought up and arms extended fully. 

"as he said, it's very intimate and we shouldn't be really seeing your soul without permission," Sans said, "we would show you our souls in a heartbeat if you're curious as to what they're like, but that's only because we trust you." You cocked your head to the side, curious and bewildered at his statement. Just how _intimately_ did they trust you? Or was it required to 'prove' that they shared you as a soulmate? 

"Do you have to show me what your souls are like?" Papyrus wrung his hands together, refusing to meet your eyes. 

"NO, NOT REALLY," he answered," I JUST THINK MY BROTHER REALLY WANTS US TO SHOW YOU OUR SOULS. HE TALKED ABOUT IT LAST NIGHT, TOO." Your brows furrowed together and you took a moment to study Sans, the Sans who was stabbings daggers through the wall and had the cutest flush of blue staining the apples of his face. 

"not cool, bro," Sans grumbled," you just exposed me." 

"Why exactly?" You didn't quite understand this in the slightest. Sans was secretive and, at times, soft-spoken. The fact he would even openly discuss this with anyone is shocking, if only for how bold it seems. Maybe if the two of you really were soulmates, this would help you get him to say what's on his mind more often. Papyrus winced, wrapping his arms around his chest in a mock hug. 

"WELL, I THINK HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU'LL REACT TO THEM," Papyrus spoke out thoughtfully, not really confident in his own explanation and spun on his heel to face Sans. His brother refused to acknowledge Papyrus, completely ashamed and actually kind of wanting to run all the way into the sea at the moment. You walked forward, stopping just a few steps in front of Sans and tilting your head up at him. 

"Sans, it's okay, you can tell me why," you began, arms tucked away behind your back and you leaned forward," I'm not going to judge you or get upset at you. I haven't left yet, have I?" 

"no, but you almost did," he garbled out almost incoherently, but you managed to pick apart his words and you frowned. 

"Almost is the keyword there," you retorted. "I mean, who wouldn't? You guys were spewing some weird stuff and I really didn't know how to handle it, heck, I still don't." You wanted to reassure him that all was good even though all was not good because it seemed like Sans needed it, but you really want to know if this is all some nonsense in their brains or if it's true. Sans stayed silent, reflecting on your words and he seemed to be juggling between telling you or not telling you, but he seemed to cave in to his own desires and reasoning that he heaved a curt sigh and responded. 

"paps is right," he said," i want to know how you'll react to them." 

"Why?" you crossed your arms, eyes dead set on Sans. "Aren't they just like normal monster souls? Why would I react any differently to yours than I would to any old monster soul." You ended your statement with a slight chuckle but neither Papyrus or Sans budged. They seemed to be stilled, stiff and anxious. 

"THEY WON'T LOOK LIKE ANY OTHER MONSTERS' SOUL," Papyrus whispered. You tilted your head towards him, twisting your body and facing him. 

"Whatever do you mean by that?" Sans closed his eyes again, shoved his hands into his pockets and curled into his parka. Papyrus clinked his teeth shut, too mortified to continue. 

"they're ugly," Sans bluntly stated. Your head jerked back at this and snapped over to Sans, intrigued. "we've been through a lot. we've seen a lot of messed up shit. they'll be all cracked and chipped to hell an' back." You mused over this, pupils looking at the ceiling in thought and you hummed. 

"I'm not too sure they'll be that ugly, Sans," you gingerly spoke, shrugging. "No matter what you've been through, it's only the core of it that matters. I'm sure they'll be fine." Your voice was saccharine sweet and sugar-coated, but Sans didn't care. What you had just said was enough for him to step forward, hand poised in the air. His sudden and terrifyingly swift and fast movements spooked you, startling you enough to lean away from them. Sans made no further movements and his eye-lights had doused, Papyrus had moved away from his brother and was staring at you intently. 

"then, with your permission," his voice was unusually gravelly, it snaked into your eardrums so smoothly that it made you uncomfortable," i'm going to bring out your soul." Sans' tone vaguely sounded threatening but you could still sense this somewhat gentle nature underlying it. That didn't stop you from gulping out of anxiety before you hesitantly nodded, antsy and ready to see this 'proof.' Though this was to see if Sans and Papyrus really were your soulmates, you couldn't help the bundle of nerves that bubbled up. This would be your first time ever seeing your own soul, so what if they thought it was ugly or that they hated it? Gosh, imagine your own soulmates fleeing away from you at the sight of the very culmination of your being. 

A faint hint of blue poked out from Sans' left eye, a small flame that flickered and wisped away into nothingness. It was interesting and you opened your mouth to ask about it, but Sans curled his phalanges in so quickly and there was a tugging in your chest. A gasp left your lips and your hand shot up to grip where your heart was, fingers bunching up your shirt. When you glanced down, you noticed this faded glowing that gradually increased into the vibrant hue before you watched this cartoon-like heart float away from you and suspend in mid-air. The heart was (color), shining and casting a glow across your face. Watching the heart buoyantly bounce in the center of the circle between the three of you, a smile of wonder stretched from ear to ear. This was your soul? 

Papyrus gasped, hands shooting up and covering his mouth. His eye sockets were the widest you had ever seen them and his bone brows were so high up on his forehead that his shocked expression looked comical. Tears welled up in the corners of his sockets and your hand reached over, tugging on his sleeve out of concern. He twitched away from you, this tangerine orange blush dusting the bridge of his face once he relaxed and looked at you. 

"Paps, are you okay?" you whispered out very softly, your usual voice seemingly disappeared and replaced. Sans jostled back to life at your voice, no longer staring wide-eyed at your soul with such intensity and fear. His agape mouth clinked shut and he blinked once, glancing at you and Papyrus from the corners of his sight. Sans observed the two of you interact and you took note of his silence, awaiting Papyrus' response. 

"Y-YES," Papyrus sputtered out, hesitant before a pure smile of adoration and glee slowly formed underneath his hands. He lowered them, not trembling like he had been earlier and instead this new air of confidence surrounded him. "I WAS JUST ADMIRING HOW ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS YOUR SOUL IS." 

Sans choked on his spit and you blushed, feeling silly at the butterflies in your tummy. You don't know why his words resonated with you like that, but you speculated it might be due to the fact everything about you was on display in front of them. Papyrus' reaction definitely wasn't what you expected, but it was welcomed nonetheless. You giggled, lacing your fingers together and rocking on the heels of your feet. 

"Thank you, Paps," you grinned at him, the flush on your cheeks spreading all over your face and you suddenly felt so hot. The hand Sans had used to pull your soul out was shaking so badly that Sans buried it back into his pocket, teeth chattering. You had never this side of him before but it was endearing. Sans cleared his throat a couple of times, lidded his eye sockets and looked in your general direction but wouldn't look at your face. 

"yeah, i agree," he murmured," i ain't ever seen such a thing like it." Your soul fluttered at his words, the way it shone around the room brightening and you heard it. There were a few simple chords that plucked, sounding similar to the first few notes of your favorite song. You could hear their little symphony, then you understood how monsters could sense how you were feeling. Your soul could literally make music! You grinned impishly and tittered softly, eyes lighting up with excitement as you observed the brothers. 

"Thank you, too, Sans," you exclaimed this time, now thoroughly invested in this whole 'soul' gig. Now you understood why humans would let monsters scam them, it was just so absolutely brilliant to see your own soul and watch how it reacted to the world around it. Papyrus and Sans had now turned their attention fully to you, even if they did spare the occasional, brief glimpse at your soul. 

"I'M GLAD YOU LET US SEE YOU," Papyrus said, slightly abash but confidence not gone. You nodded at him, pulling yourself together and trying to ignore the initial shock. 

"Eh, it doesn't really bother me," you explained," since you guys were actually supposed to show me how exactly the three of us are soulmates." Papyrus and Sans both shifted at the serious change of the conversation, their giddy expressions mostly crestfallen now but Papyrus managed to recover and aimlessly waved his hand in the air, gesturing towards your soul. 

"WELL, YES, I SUPPOSE SO," he said," NOW I WANT YOU TO LOOK CAREFULLY AT YOUR SOUL. DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING STRANGE?" Tilting your head upward, you scrutinized your own soul and tried to search for any imperfections. It took a few moments but, eventually, you saw something. The something was blurry and kind of hard to differentiate between what it was and the slight aura aglow around your soul, but you saw it. There, poking out from the center of your soul, were two curved string-like shapes. Your brows pinched together and you released a noise of confusion, looking back at Papyrus. 

"I see two strings," you stated. Papyrus drew his hand back, glancing down at Sans without moving his skull. Sans took the hint, reaching his arms up and wrapping them around your soul, yet not actually touching it. If anything, he seemed to specifically go out of his way to _not_ touch your soul. He lowered his arms, bringing your soul closer to his chest and he finally met your eyes. 

"those two strings are connected to us," Sans hastily spoke," can't you see?" Upon further inspection, yeah, you could see. Since your soul was closest to Sans, you noticed one of the strings stabbing into the center of his rib cage. Your eyes trailed down the other, watching it disappear into Papyrus' chest, too. Your mouth fell open, sputtering out nonsense and rambling as your mind tried to comprehend what exactly you were seeing. They...weren't delusional? You were actually soulmates with both Sans _and_ Papyrus? Wow, welp...Time to commit fork-toaster. 

"You...you guys weren't lying," you finally blubbered out and being left feeling kind of stupid when the two of them frowned deeply at your words. Your soul reflected the sentiment, crying out a couple of notes like a threnody of ghosts and the brothers shuddered. Your face flushed, ashamed. You had allowed your doubt to take over your rationality and you had misjudged Sans and Papyrus. It was something you had been doing more recently after Alfred's warning, yet now he doesn't really have a say in the matter. You were apparently their soulmate, what could he say? Neither of them responded to you and you noticed they had been left winded, breathing heavily and averting their eyes from your stature. Your face scrunched up sadly.

"Listen, guys, I'm really sorry," you apologized, "I really shouldn't have overreacted but this whole soulmates thing is a real heavy topic, you know?" Papyrus finally caved, sighed and looked back at you.

"WE UNDERSTAND, (NAME)," Papyrus said," WE PROBABLY DID SOUND REALLY CRAZY AND MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE APPROACHED THIS TOPIC IN A DIFFERENT WAY, OR MAYBE WAITED FOR A BIT. BUT WE..." He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. 

"eh, don't worry about why we chose now," Sans picked up for his brother," you'll probably understand what we're talking about soon." You blinked, one brow arched but rolled your eyes. 

"I guess if you guys say so," you finished, just completely blown away and done with today. Silence filled the room after that, the three of you having not a single clue of what to say but it, luckily, wasn't uncomfortable. Papyrus and Sans stared blankly at your soul, but you could see so many different expressions flitting in their eye-lights that you grinned shyly and looked away, letting them look at your soul all that they would like. A few more seconds passed before you felt the tugging feeling again and it felt like something had been thrust straight through you. When you looked back, you noticed your soul had disappeared and you looked down at your chest. There was a barely noticeable glow that slowly faded before all traces of your soul completely vanished. You shot Sans an interested glanced, curious as to what his motives were. 

"i put your soul back, don't worry," he assured you and you nodded at him. "plus, figured ya would want to see our souls now. i know how you humans get." Sans winked at you and Papyrus surged forward, the corners of his mouth pulled down. 

"BUT REMEMBER, THAT'S ONLY IF YOU WANT TO, OF COURSE!" Papyrus sputtered, waving his arms around wildly," OUR SOULS DON'T LOOK IN TIP-TOP SHAPE AND I DON'T WANT TO SCARE YOU OFF! I PROMISE YOU THAT EVEN IF THEY LOOK REALLY, REALLY UGLY THAT WE'RE WORTH IT, OKAY?? PLEASE, DON'T SCRAMBLE AWAY!!!" He was rambling now, seeming to be more anxious than you were about seeing your soul for the first time and you lifted your hand to pause him. Papyrus faltered, looking at your hand and then back to your face. 

"Paps, honey, it's okay," you said," I really want to see your souls. I'm just still trying to wrap my brain around all of this, but I'll come 'round, 'kay?" He tensed up, wringing his hands together out of habit but finally dipped his skull at you and leaned back, straightening his posture. Sans gave Papyrus a quick once over to make sure he was all right before he looked back at you, bone brows furrowed. 

"so, like we've been saying, they ain't gonna be the prettiest little things, but it shouldn't be anything to worry about," Sans said," they'll be a little more roughed up than yers, 'course." You curtly shrugged, super interested in what a monster's soul actually looked like but tried to mask your excitement because right now you were totally giving away your cool exterior. 

"I really think the two of you might be the ones overreacting now," you giggled, "I don't think I'm going to recoil in disgust and naruto-run out of your house." You tried to joke with them, yet the brothers shared a nervous glance with their teeth pursed. This made you frown slightly. 

"whatever you say," Sans roughly mumbled out, voice ever so quiet, "just hold on. it takes a bit of concentration to summon them." You didn't give them a verbal response, instead opting to just stare at them and wait. Sans gulped heavily and Papyrus looked up at the ceiling, lightly tapping his foot. Finally, the two of them stilled and there was nothing. You could hear yourself breathe and you tried to steady it enough so that you weren't so loud, wanting to make the process as easy for the brothers as possible and trying to not break their concentration. 

It stayed like that for about another minute, but then you heard it. The sound was faint and you seriously had to strain your ears to even be able to pick up on it, but it was there, just like how your soul had sounded. There was music, it was upbeat and higher-pitched and it was a no-brainer that this was the sound of Papyrus' soul. How cheerful it sounded made you smile, even if it did occasionally skip a beat or warble, you knew that it was Papyrus. You looked at Papyrus and inaudibly gasped. 

Floating directly across from his navel was his soul. It looked just like an upside-down heart and it was this pretty glowing, grey color. Coating the outside of his soul was a dim orange color and you guessed that maybe that's why the color of his magic appeared that way. The top of his soul was crumbling slightly, having dusted away and there were just a few flakes still remaining, awkwardly floating out of place over the rest of it. Down the center and wavering around all the way was one singular crack. It was heavy and absolutely noticeable, with hundreds of spindly little cracks surrounding the edges of the crack but not extending out much farther than the indention itself. The way the tiny cracks danced across his soul reminded you of a snowflake and its ever intricate design, no two ever looking alike. 

After you finished studying Papyrus' soul, you glanced up at his face and saw that he had shut his eyes, obviously too afraid to look at your reaction. You bit the inside of your cheek, glancing back down until you heard a different song join Papyrus'. This song was slow and funky, heavy on the baritone and drum-line. You even occasionally heard the cheeky clash of a cowbell and you smirked, already knowing it was Sans and you slid your pupils over to him. His soul sounded slower than Papyrus' but you also realized that the song sounded like it had also been intentionally slowed down. With your brows pinched, you realized this might have happened due to what Sans had gone through. For the same reason Papyrus' soul skips a beat, Sans' is now sluggish. 

His soul was hovering only a few mere inches away from his chest, too shy to extend out any further. It was the same pretty grey color, but the aura surrounding Sans' was a slate blue. When you squinted your eyes, you realized that the colors ghosting around their souls might have also faded over time as well. The thought was sad and a part of you couldn't help but wonder how brilliantly their magic would have once echoed around their souls before everything. 

Sans' soul had more than just one big crack, there were several all clashing into a mid-point in the center of his soul. They didn't appear to be as deep as the singular one of Papyrus' and there also weren't as many tiny ones around them, but you did notice that the outline of his soul appeared to be that same dusted effect like the top of Papyrus'. It was awfully fuzzy around the outskirts, like Sans could dust away at any given second if he just stopped fighting. You glanced at the gaping hole in his skull and back down to his soul, wondering if that's why his soul looked like that. Had that blow almost killed him? Should Sans actually be dead right now? You shivered, too afraid to ponder that thought any longer. 

You met Sans eyes, not realizing that he had been staring at you so deeply this entire time and you weakly smiled at him. You didn't know what to say, honestly. You were at a loss for words and your eyes kept tracing back down, going back and forth between the two souls in front of you in wonder and awe. You had never seen a monster soul before now and, to be honest, you were a little mad. Monster souls were so beautiful, stars, souls, in general, were so beautiful. You're just jealous of their ability to summon souls, that's all. Sans quirked a bone brow at you and opened his mouth to speak, which brought you out of your reverie. 

"now i know that you're thinking that you don't like what you're seeing, but-"

"But they're absolutely so freakin' pretty," you finished for Sans, interrupting him. This shut him up quickly and he loudly clinked his teeth closed. Papyrus' eye sockets cracked open, giving you a funny look before speaking. 

"(NAME), DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?" he timidly asked and you rapidly shook your head up and down. 

"Ohh, yeah," you said," roughed up or not, your souls are very gorgeous. Ah, I love how they sound." Papyrus was quiet for a hot second, staring down your figure before the brightest smile slapped across his features and you barely registered what had happened before you were quickly swept off of your feet and swung around in the air. Your hair lashed across your face and you let out a few loud laughs, wrapping your arms around Papyrus' neck and legs around his waist while he twirled you. The two of you spun around the room and Papyrus occasional sprung up, whooping out happily. When Papyrus finally pulled himself to a halt and your vision stopped spinning, you looked at Sans and saw him gently smiling at the two of you. 

Sans chuckled, hands slung into his pockets and posture slouched back. Papyrus yelped out, snapping your attention back to him. 

"OH, (NAME)! NO WONDER YOU'RE OUR SOULMATE!" he exclaimed," AH, I THINK YOU'RE SOUL IS VERY GORGEOUS, TOO!!" Papyrus gushed over you, swiveling back around and marching towards Sans. His soul was still floating out and you just now noticed the string jutting out from it, and trailing up it, saw that it stopped at your chest. Too caught up in their beauty, you must have missed that. Papyrus sat you back down onto your feet, clapping his hands together and bouncing in place. 

"THIS DAY HAS GONE SO MUCH BETTER THAN I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD," Papyrus said, looking at his brother then at you. "BUT NOW YOU'VE ACCEPTED THAT WE'RE YOUR SOULMATES AND YOU AREN'T EVEN DISGUSTED BY OUR SOULS!!! WOWIE!! I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS." You playfully rolled your eyes, bumping the side of your hip into Papyrus'. 

"Me neither," you said," but even so, we're friends. I can't just abandon you randomly because of a misunderstanding." You slung an arm around Papyrus' back and drew him close, flashing a smile towards Sans as his soul disappeared. He opted to not say anything, still caught up in your praise and there was a blush on his face that just continued to be ever-growing. It was cute and nice, and you wished Sans would always look like that. 

"STARS, I DON'T THINK ANYTHING COULD RUIN TODAY NOW!" Papyrus shouted and you released a giggle, about to respond to him until there was a scuffling noise. The three of you paused, all poised and carefully and slowly glancing towards the foyer and at the front door. The noise continued, sounding just like someone stomping through leaves and prancing around. Sans and Papyrus visibly swallowed, frowns painting their expressions. 

"might have spoke too soon there, paps," Sans spoke up and you all waited with bated breath as the noise increased in volume. You didn't know what to expect and you shrank back behind Sans and Papyrus, trying desperately to conceal your frame from the door and waited anxiously in anticipation. People started talking outside and you held your breath to hear them, struggling to do so but managing to pick up on a few sentences. 

"sans, bro, calm down..."

"SORRY, PAPY! I'M JUST SUPER EXCITED TO SEE IF THEIR HUMAN IS GOING TO DROP BY TODAY." 

"we'll find out soon enough...careful on the steps." 

"OH, YES, RIGHT."

Papyrus buried his face in his hands and Sans glared at the door, all the while you just looked on in mute horror as the footsteps paused in front of the door and you didn't hear any more talking.

Then it happened.

From the silence, there was a _knock_.


	10. von freitag auf montag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially drawn cover-art for this fanfic! If you want to see it, I'll be posting it on my Amino very soon! Find me on the official Undertale Amino under 'moonkissed.norwegian' and see what fanart I've posted there so far. Thank you for reading!

Your mouth fell agape and you spared a glance at the brothers, abhor laced through your features. Papyrus had curled in on himself, pinprick eye-sockets wide and dimmed eye-lights flinging wildly about in fear. Sans was gritting his teeth, canines bared and hands clenching so tightly that his knuckles jut out against his metacarpus prominently. You, panic and curiosity increased tenfold by their reactions, gulped. The two of them stepped out in front of you, trying to conceal you from the threshold before Papyrus lurched down and harshly whispered into the side of Sans' skull. 

"Brother! What Are We Supposed To Do?" his voice had lowered quite significantly, only ever this quiet when he was still trapped in the throes of an episode. The edges of Sans' mouth twitched and he grumbled, red pupil dashing over to your figure before he shifted it back to the front door and narrowed his eye-sockets. 

"not a clue, bro," Sans rumbled out. At this, Sans stuffed his fists into his pockets and growled. Papyrus' bone-brows furrowed and he looked away from his brother, but his eye-lights were still fixated on you. There was another knock at the door, this one rapping a few times and sounding more urgent. Sans and Papyrus jumped out of their skins, scrambling to go for the door but you darted forward and grasped for their upper arms. They paused, swiveling their skulls around and staring your figure down. You swallowed thickly, glancing over their shoulders and to the door. 

"Here, let me get it," you offered. Papyrus gasped and shook his head side-to-side rapidly, Sans frowned. 

"NO! I Mean, No," Papyrus corrected himself and lowered his voice once more, realizing that he had just given away their current position because another knock sounded and there was some grumbling from the people outside. "We Can't Let You Do That!" You blinked in confusion at Papyrus, shifting your weight onto your other foot and removing your hands from their arms. 

"Why not? The two of you obviously don't want to," you said, concerned for their well-being and honestly not wanting to deal with an episode after just finding out that you're soulmates with them. It would really kill the mood. Well, worse than the intruding guests already did. "So let me do it, I'll be fine." Sans tilted his head just slightly, brow quirked. 

"'s not that we don't think you'll be fine," he mumbled out, " it's just that we really don't want you to open the door." You quirked your head up, lips pursed and face blanked, then crossed your arms. 

"Then are you guys going to open the door," you questioned, "because whoever is out there is really getting impatient." You gestured to the foyer as there now was just an incessant knocking, indicating that the people waiting outside were seriously getting tired of waiting. Their knocks became heavier and you were afraid they were going to break down the door at any minute, Sans looked at the ceiling and grimaced. 

"no, we weren't," Sans stated and Papyrus sighed exasperatedly, throwing his hands into the air.

"Brother, We Have To Do Something!" Papyrus yelled as softly as he could manage. You looked back and forth between the two of them, then down at your shoes. Sans stayed quiet and refused to answer, instead choosing to busy himself by playing with his own phalanges and not meeting yours or Papyrus' eyes. 

"Why don't you want to answer the door?" you inquired, tempted to just naruto-sprint past them and rip the door off of its hinges. Papyrus wrung his hands together, clicking his teeth a few times before responding. 

"We, Um, Well, We Think That It's One Of The Other Inhabitants Of These Woods," Papyrus said, the corners of his mouth twitching down. "They've Been Wanting To Come To Visit Us For A Couple Of Days Now, But They Have Literally Chosen The Worst Day To Do It." His words took a few moments to process through your brain and when they did, you karate chopped the air and growled to the best of your abilities without looking like the emo-anime kid who sat in the back of the classroom and scared everyone away from them. You clenched a first, poised it in the air and shook it.

"It's not your landlord, is it? Because I'ma whoop that ass 'fore he even takes a step in here." You said, closing your eyes and 'oh'-ing," Swear to Father Bendy that I'm going to eat his ass." Papyrus and Sans stared at you in the utmost confusion and abhor, their mandibles having dropped to the floor before Sans recovered and shook his skull. 

"i, no, that, i'm," Sans sputtered," no, it's probably one of the other tenants that live with him though. i recognized their voices." You skimmed over Sans' hunched posture and watched his hands wave to and fro in front of him. You huffed, rolling your eyes. 

"Then I'm going to end their career and then, consequently, my own," and with that, you bolted around Sans and Papyrus, narrowly dodging their outstretched arms to stop you and skidding to a halt in front of the door. Resting your hand on the doorknob, you tossed a glimpse behind you and found Sans and Papyrus shaking 'no' with overly exaggerated and animated-like movements with their entire bodies. You nodded, appreciating how twisty and bendy their bodies could be before you took a deep breath. Facing the door, you carefully spun the knob and pulled the door open to see...not what you expected. 

"Sans, Papyrus," you warbled out," How did you to teleport outside? Wait, how did you manage to be in two places at once? And _what_ are you legitimately wearing?" You screeched, rudely jabbing your index finger towards the two in front of the door. They blanched at you, smiles drooping and shoulders slumping. 

"I... WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" The wanna-be Sans gasped in offense, lifting his arms and patting down his chest as if looking for any sort of imperfections. The wanna-be Papyrus kind of looked like a deer in headlights, his hands resting inside of the center pocket of his hoodie and back slouched down but middle pressed outwards. You shut your mouth, looked them up and down and just realized that they were indeed Sans and Papyrus. 

Sans was wearing a dark coal gray shirt with yellow hems and collar, tucked into a pair of jeans almost the same color as his shirt. There were these baby blue boots, the same color of his obnoxiously large bandana, that went up mid-calf adorning his feet and the pants were tucked into it. His face appeared much rounder now, with chubbier cheeks and his smile seemed more cartoonish than the one you were used to. Literal cerulean blue stars were glimmering in his extremely circular eye-sockets, and blinking a few times, you noticed there were now two questions marks replacing the stars. 

Papyrus was wearing a carrot orange, oversized hoodie and a pair of chestnut brown cargo shorts, his look finished with a pair of converse the same shade of his sweater. His face was also rounder than the Papyrus you knew, his cheekbones rounder and softly smoothing down into his mandibles. His eye-sockets were large and half-lidded, appearing much like your Sans, but there appeared to be large, circle eye-lights shining and staring right at you. A lit cigarette was dangling from the corner of his teeth, the smoke prancing up and fading away. 

Now that you actually were able to get a pretty good look at them, you realized that these two were, indeed, _not_ your Sans and Papyrus. After realizing that, you nimbly took a step back and slammed the door on their faces, turning back to the brothers now standing a few feet behind you. They greeted you with shocked and confused looks, blinking once before Papyrus awkwardly cleared his throat and spoke. 

"SO, YOU, UM, SAW THEM?" he asked," DID YOU FIND OUT WHAT THEY WANTED?" You shook your head, shrugging at Papyrus. 

"No," you calmly responded. Sans tilted his head at your words, face scrunching up before he clicked his teeth together. 

"wha- what did you do then?" Sans questioned, watching your expression stay the same before you waved your hand around in the air dismissively. 

"I just simply closed the door," you stated rather nonchalantly. Sans wheezed at you and Papyrus slapped his palm to his face, rolling his dimmed eye-lights. Papyrus then released a groan of exasperation, flopping his arms forward and out, fixing you with a serious stare. 

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" He screeched at you and Sans averted his eyes, obviously trying to stifle his giggling while Papyrus glared sharply at his brother. You opened your mouth to speak, but was interrupted by more knocking and the sound of someone screaming 'HEY, WAIT, HUMAN!! WERE YOU INSINUATING THAT WE LOOK UGLY??' Your eyes widened and you glanced back over your shoulder, corners of your mouth tugging down and brows arching all the way up your forehead. 

"I'm assuming that I'm going to have to open the door to find out what they want, right?" You pointed at the door, lips now formed into a smirk and Sans, once again, had to turn away from you to keep from legitimately losing it right in front of his brother. Papyrus made a pained noise and his face was drawn almost like he was contemplating strangling Sans, but deciding against it before sighing loudly.

"YES, I SUPPOSE SO," Papyrus muttered and you licked your lips, turning back towards the doorway. 

"Yeah, all right," you said wearily before carefully opening the door, looking at the two outside innocently. The Papyrus had a brow poised and his skull angled to the side while the Sans frowned and stomped his foot angrily. Once they noticed you had opened the door again, they stopped and looked back at you. Smiling nicely and warmly, you held out your hand to greet them. 

"Hi, I do believe we got off on the wrong foot," you spoke indifferently, smile morphing into a smirk," The name's (Name)." This sky-blue Sans looked down at your hand, then back up to your face, then finally back to your hand again. He swallowed hard before he composed himself and took your outstretched hand. 

"UM, YES, UH, H-HELLO," he sputtered out, thoroughly perplexed but not wanting to appear rude. "MY NAME IS BLUE. TOTALLY NOT SANS LIKE YOU FIRST ASSUMED, OF COURSE!!" Blue exclaimed the last part of his sentence just a little way too loud like he was trying to convince himself that what he was saying was actually true, even though you were able to see quite clearly that Blue was Sans. You quirked a brow, obviously not believing that nonsense but deciding to play along with his little fantasy. The Papyrus behind him groaned quietly and trailed his hand down his skull, trying to play it off cool. 

"Sure, and I assume the Papyrus behind you isn't actually Papyrus?" you inquired and the skeleton behind him pursed his teeth and emitted a sound as if he had just been punched straight in the gullet. Blue winced and shifted his gaze from you to the set of brothers lurking over your form and leering down at Blue and his friend. 

"yeah, i'm stretch," he murmured out lazily," blue's my bro." You dipped your head at Stretch, as he had just proven the point that this was totally Sans and Papyrus, but you stayed silent. 

"Very nice, pleased to meet ya," the words rolled off of the tip of your tongue and you leaned back," but we're kind of in the middle of something, so I hate to be mean, but we need y'all to leave." Stretch and Blue furrowed their bone-brows at you, looked over your shoulders at Sans and Papyrus, then met your eyes. 

"BUSY?" Blue echoed, shaking his head," WELL, DON'T WORRY! WE WON'T TAKE LONG, JUST WANTED TO MEET YOU." Blue explained and you blinked, taking a graciously wide step away from them and pausing in between Sans and Papyrus. Well, wasn't that just the tiniest bit creepy?

"Oh, you wanted to, uhh, meet me?" You repeated, " How did you even know that I would be here right now?" Blue faltered and Stretch dropped his eye-lights down to the floor, humming to himself softly instead of answering you. Behind you, Sans started grumbling angrily and Papyrus began shifting from foot to foot nervously. 

"I, UH, WELL! I CERTAINLY DID NOT KNOW FOR CERTAIN WHETHER OR NOT YOU WOULD FOR CERTAIN BE HERE, BUT! YOU CERTAINLY ARE HERE, AREN'T YOU?" Blue exclaimed nervously, antsy and feeling a little hot now that he was actually standing in front of you. As excited as he had been to meet you, Blue definitely wasn't expecting such an edge. He probably should have guessed it since you _had_ befriended these versions of his brother and him. 

"Yes, I am," you spoke out in a drawl, looking away and back inside of the house, steadily closing the door as subtly as possible so that you didn't accidentally alert Stretch or Blue. However, it seems like your attempt was fruitless because Stretch noticed you and lifted his index phalange to question you on it, but was stopped by Blue. 

"THAT'S TERRIFIC," Blue shouted, thrusting both of his arms in the air and smiling brightly, " I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT CROOKS AND AXE HAVE FINALLY MADE A FRIEND!" You nodded along to each of his words, but your bobbing stop at the words 'Crooks' and 'Axe.' Your brows strung together and your eyes narrowed, orbs trailing slowly towards Blue and looking him over. You frowned. 

"Excuse me, but," you said," what did you just say?" Blue shut his mouth and lowered his arms, bewildered and he cutely cocked his head to the side. Or, at least, it would have been cute if you didn't just hear what you just heard. 

"I SAID IT WAS GOOD CROOKS AND AXE FOUND A FRIEND?" He repeated his own words, going over each one of them carefully in case he misspoke, but it only confirmed what you originally thought.

"So, Crooks and Axe, huh?" you mused, gripping your chin in thought, curiously glancing towards the set of brothers you were familiar with. "Could you run that by me one more time? Who found a friend?" Blue shrunk in on himself and gulped. 

"C-Crooks and Axe...?" He finalized and you nodded your head, hands now clenching into fists. Blue realized that he had upset you and stepped away from the threshold, standing right beside his brother. Stretch removed his hands from his pocket, focused solely on you before you hummed frustratedly. 

"Perfect," you said, mostly shutting the door but still peeking your head out," Could you just give the three of us a moment, please?" Blue and Stretch shared a glance but nodded ever so slightly, you grinned at them and proceeded to slam the door closed noisily. You spun on your axis, facing Sans and Papyrus with anger lacing your features. They sensed how upset you were and moved closer to you, hands held out and palms facing you to try and calm you down. You smacked your lips and pouted, looking at the ground. Your soul must literally be screaming right now. 

"Did you hear that!" You yelled, "Did you hear what they had called you?" Papyrus wrung his hands, folding at the waist and hunching over, trying to shrink himself and staying mute. Sans grimaced, huff loudly and rolled his singular eye-light. 

"yeah, we heard," Sans responded," those are our nicknames." You wheezed out, feeling your soul ascend in aggravation. 

" _Nicknames_? You mean they call you that?" Sans nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

"twenty-four-seven, sweetheart," he replied casually, strangely fixated on the ceiling but your rage only grew. That...that was beyond cruel. You didn't know everything about Sans or Papyrus, hell, you're not even sure if what you know is fully accurate in some places. But you're not stupid. You know those nicknames stem from their past. You couldn't believe the audacity. 

"How... How dare they!" You screamed, turning back around and nearly ripping the door off of its hinges. Blue and Stretch had been in the middle of a conversation but stopped completely when they saw how furious you were, the fighting stance you were posed in and the look of sheer and utmost madness presented on your features. They seemed to have realized that they, unfortunately, fucked up. 

"How dare, you pricks!" You jabbed a finger towards them, your other fist all balled up and you stepped forward. Blue and Stretch backed up, puzzled. Blue opened his mouth to respond, but you cut him off. "The nerve you guys must have! Was it you? Were you the two who gave them those godforsaken nicknames, or the landlord?" 

"I, UH, NO, IT- IT WAS RUST," Blue stammered and you growled. 

"Where and who the fuck is Rust?" You hissed out, ready to whoop some ass right about now. Blue held both of his hands up and shrunk back into his shoulders, glancing at Stretch for help. His brother took the cue and stepped in front of Blue protectively, eye-sockets slit and examining you. 

"rust's another guy we live with," Stretch elaborated. "why ya wanna know?" You shook your head and pressed forward, ready to full-on sprint to the landlord's house in your blind fury.

"Because I'm gonna eat his ass!" You growled," How dare he call Sans and Papyrus that? Do you think they could control all that happened to them? That's like, comparably, on the same level as victim-blaming." Your body was visibly shaking, vibrating with intense emotion. You could sense Papyrus and Sans' presence behind you, their arms spread out and wrapped around you, but not actually touching you. Their faces screamed that they were ready to drag you back inside at a moment's notice, but they were obviously trying to be courteous and letting you state your piece of mind. Stretch deadpanned and Blue frowned in concern. 

"(name), ma'am, hate to be the one to break it to ya," Stretch mumbled," but i think he'd enjoyed that." You groaned exasperatedly and slammed your head into your hands, screaming through a closed mouth. 

"Of course, my one singular good threat and my now mortal enemy would want it," you complain, dramatically falling back into Sans and Papyrus' open arms, feeling them stumble a bit as they adjusted to your added weight and supported you up. Blue stood up fully, staring you down hard.

"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?" Blue queried, stepping forward and reaching a hand towards you, but you simply slapped it away. You shook your head and cracked open an eye, pupil landing on Blue. 

"What I need is to meet this 'Rust' character," you stated," and maybe another way to threaten people. Seems like everyone wants their ass eaten nowadays." Blue quirked a brow at you, slumping at your diminishing sociability and demeanor. 

"I MEAN, WE COULD THEORETICALLY TAKE YOU TO MEET RUST," Blue hesitantly said," I JUST AM NOT TOO SURE IF OUR LANDLORD WOULD APPRECIATE IT, YOU KNOW?" You opened both of your eyes, observing Blue mince around anxiously and averting his starry eyes from you. 

"So, you can take me to him?" your voice sounded normal, sounded as if this entire past ten-minute interaction hadn't occurred at all. Blue owlishly blinked, feeling stupid and dumb at your ever-changing attitude. _GEE, DO HUMANS ALWAYS ACT LIKE THIS?_ Blue pondered to himself. 

"YES, UM, I MEAN, DO YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO MEET HIM?" Blue asked you and you pushed yourself off of Sans and Papyrus, standing up fully. Your face was blank as you curtly nodded and Blue's vision barreled at how terrifying your expression made you. 

"I COULD SHOOT HIM A TEXT AND WE CAN LIKE, UM, SET UP A DATE OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES IF YOU WISH?" You shook your head, silent. "OH, WELL, I GUESS THAT WE CAN GO MEET HIM RIGHT NOW IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT INCLINED?" At that, you jumped forward and slammed both of your hands down on Blue's shoulders, staring so very intently into Blue's eye-lights and everything tunneled around him and Blue could only focus on you. 

"Now," you said quietly, threateningly," we've gotta meet him now." And Blue couldn't even say anything, nodding along to your every word and finding himself unable to respond at all. His world slowly came back to him and Blue could see Sans and Papyrus looming over you, their shadows saying it all and Blue locked eye-lights with his brother. You...It can't be. 

"O-OKAY, LET'S...LET'S GO THEN," Blue finished. You nodded, satisfied and removed your hands from Blue. Then it all clicked. Oh, my stars.

_You were._

* * *

The mansion was absolute silent, quiet like a welcoming grave. Not a single soul moved around, everyone kept to themselves and stayed hidden in their rooms. Everyone except for Rust, that is. 

He released a yawn, stretching a bit as he shambled into the kitchen. His coffee mug was empty and Rust was currently contemplating grabbing himself another cup of joe or just straight up guzzling a bottle of mustard. It was a really tough decision. Placing his cup on the counter, he slid it over a few inches and dipped it into the sink. Uncurling his phalanges from the handle, Rust turned towards the refrigerator and scurried on over. Opening the door and looking at the cubby shelves on it, Rust quickly located his favored condiment and greedily snatched it up. He flicked the cap off and pressed it to his teeth, lifting the bottle and tilting upward, basically inhaling it. 

After slurping up a gracious amount of mustard, Rust emitted a content sigh and wiped his teeth off with the back of his sleeve. Eye-sockets half-lidded and the corners of his mouth perking up in a satisfied grin, Rust shoved a fist into one of his pockets and strolled out of the kitchen with a nonchalant gait. Ah, today was perfect. Nothing could go wrong. At all.

Then the door was kicked in and slammed against the wall, thundering throughout the entire house. Rust paused, absolutely terrified once his eye-lights settled on this human that was posed in an NPC manner and breathing heavily. They heaved, took a deep breath, and looked up. Rust knew he should have run the moment they locked eyes - really, he should have - but he was frozen in place because...oh, my stars! They were hot! 

Rust chuckled uncomfortably, finding himself unable to draw his eyes away from the human and, instead, finding himself turned on as this sadistic smirk morphed across their features. Blue, Stretch, Axe, and Crooks stood behind them, the first two looking mildly scared and the latter two completely indifferent and kind of impressed. The human released a singular hearty chuckle, eyes slit and pupils narrowed in on Rust. He gulped. 

"So," they drawled out," I'm looking for the one called Rust." Once again, he seriously should have bolted, but he just awkwardly smiled and shakily pointed at himself with his free hand. 

"uh, that would be me, sweet-cheeks," Red warbled out uneasily," who's asking?" See, he set himself up for this, he really did. The human's smirk seemed to widen and they took a few bold steps forward, the atmosphere of the room suddenly becoming really tense. Rust could see Blue and Stretch motioning for him to skedaddle, but, now he couldn't move. The human was standing right in front of him, having moved soundlessly, and Rust swallowed as he looked down at their face. They were just a couple of inches shorter than him and that terrified him for some unknown reason. 

" _Me_ ," and with that, well, Rust's lights went out. 

* * *

Blue gasped in horror, covering his mouth as you spun back around to face them, dusting your hands off. He glanced at his brother, noticing that Stretch was currently trying to hide his snicker and covering it up by fiddling with the toothpick in between his teeth. Axe was smirking evilly, hunched over slightly and having a bout of giggles. Crooks was just wide-eyed, but there was the smallest hint of a smile on his face. Blue shifted his attention back to you, mortified. 

"YOU...PUNCHED HIM?" he hesitantly questioned, pondering over what your motives were and if you were planning on dealing out a dish of whoop-ass to the rest of the tenants of the mansion. You shook your head and shrugged, winking. 

"Nope," you said, sounding like you had just made a rim-shot," knocked him out, actually." Blue face-palmed. 

"THAT'S...WORSE!" He exclaimed and you mockingly gasped, covering your mouth in fake horror. 

"Oh, wowie, _really_??" you animatedly yelped," I totally didn't realize that. Maybe if he hadn't pulled such a dick move, I wouldn't have had to return the favor." You giggled, joining Axe before walking over to the two of them. Blue sighed in defeat, looking over Rust's slumped body and taking a step forward to at least move him to the couch until the four of you were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. 

"EXCUSE ME, BUT, WHAT IS THIS TOMFOOLERY?" All of you looked towards the bottom of the stairs that were on the right side of the room, seeing yet another Sans staring at you. Groaning, you pulled yourself together from your fit of laughter and threw your hands in the air dramatically. 

" _Excuse me_ , but how many more Sanses am I going to have to deal with?" Everyone turned to look at you," I already knocked out that Sans, but it seems you guys just keep appearing left and right. Like I'm in a bad video game and the same enemies just keep respawning." When you noticed that everyone was giving you a blank stare, you fakely gasped and rolled your eyes. 

"Oh, right, sorry," you grumbled," I forgot, you're _not_ Sans. So, what's your name then?" He was wearing a black long sleeve shirt and leather pants, a golden belt with a skull on it, and a pair of exaggerated red go-go boots. Just like Blue, there was a bandana tied around his neck - except for that it was also red. There was a large scar down the center of his right eye and he had little fangs for canines, his skull was rounded but sharp around the cheekbones. He basically looked like a much edgier version of Blue, to be honest. 

"MY NAME IS BLACK," he stated, thoroughly confused but trying to mask it so that he didn't give away his calm and collected visage. You nodded, making a spinning motion with your hand to gesture that you wanted him to continue. Black didn't understand.

"Yeah, and what's your brother's name? Edgy Stretch?" you joked, trying to make fun of them, but it seemed to infuriate Black. He stomped his foot to the ground, the heel of his boot clicking loudly against the hardwood flooring. 

"OF COURSE NOT! THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS," Black screeched, voice calming down a bit as he continued speaking. "HIS NAME IS DODGER." You furrowed your brows, stumped. 

"Like...Like the dog from _Oliver and Company_?" you inquired, trying hard to ignore the laughter that was steadily bubbling in your throat. Black nodded his head in affirmation, opening his mouth to speak before he was interrupted by a warping sound and suddenly there was a brand new skeleton. Except for this time, it was a Papyrus. 

You assume this was Dodger because he looked like he came from the same closet as Black. He wore a furlined black jacket, an orange turtleneck, black skinny jeans, and the same pair of orange converse like Stretch. Though, Dodger's had yellow accents instead of white. He was wearing a collar, a few pieces of chain dangling like it had been snapped off. Huh, guess the name fits him. There was a golden canine fang on the left side of his teeth and he had two red pinprick orbs in his half-lidded sockets. He regarded you with his full attention. 

"someone call me?" Dodger then looked at Rust, who was still in Blue's arms," woah! whoever did that to him, can they please do that to me?" He asked eagerly, glancing around the room once before his sights landed back on you and Dodger gasped in joy.

"you! you did it, didn't you?" he whispered out excitedly and one of his legs lurched forward to take a step, but Black swiped his arm out to stop him from doing so. Black shook his head like Phoenix Wright, ashamed. 

"I DON'T THINK I WANT TO SEE THAT HAPPEN," he stated and was, once again, interrupted by a loud and booming voice that echoed around the halls. There was a softer but still higher-pitched voice along with it, but it was mostly covered up by the first one. At the top of the stairs, two more skeletons appeared - both Papyruses...Papyri? Eh, Papyruses. 

The flashier and edgier looking one stomped down the stairs, arms crossed and huffing all the way down. He wore a black button-up that was tucked into a pair of ebony dress pants, an obnoxious pair of boots similar to Black's but slightly taller and spikier. There was a red scarf around his shoulders that hung behind him and waved out like a cape, looking glorious even if it was a little roughed up. He had three scars running down his right eye, very very sharp teeth, and two tiny red dots peering at you from inside of his eye-sockets. The features on his skull were very sharp and, had you seen him in the dead of the night, he would have terrified you. 

The other one was very friendly looking and kind of reminded you of your Papyrus, except for that his teeth were chunkier and straighter and his eye-sockets were really large, looking softer all around. He was wearing a white crop-top that had the words 'C00L DUDE' scrawled across it and a pair of high-waisted, tawny brown pants, donning the same red scarf as your Papyrus. He smiled and waved at you excitedly. 

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ASGORE HAS JUST HAPPENED HERE? WHY IS MY BROTHER PASSED OUT AND ROMANTICALLY BEING HELD IN BLUE'S ARMS? WHY IS THERE A _HUMAN_ HERE?" The edgy Papyrus bombarded everyone with a slew of questions, but you just yawned and pulled the most innocent look you could muster after literally killing a man. 

"Don't know, Papyrus," you said," or, whatever you 'nickname' is." If this Papyrus had eyeballs, they would have popped right on out of his skull. He blanched, wildly looking around the room and pointing at you.

"THIS IS AXE AND CROOKS' HUMAN, IS IT NOW?" he yelled," WAIT, I THOUGHT WE ALL AGREED TO NOT LET THE HUMAN KNOW THAT WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES?" You blinked and, behind you, Sans smacked his face stupidly and Papyrus wheezed. They were all from different universes? Guess that explains it. Just a little jarring, you know? You opened your mouth to say anything, but everyone in the room froze as yet another warbling sound and a warp sounded off. The room became deathly silent and you all held your breaths, and now intrigued, you slowly slid your pupils over as this last skeleton spoke. 

**_"w h a t i s g o i n g o n h e r e?"_**


	11. naja, ok, auf jeden fall bis nächsten freitag!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cover to my fanfic is up and officially on Amino! Here's the link if you want to check it out: https://aminoapps.com/c/undertale/page/user/moonkissed-norwegian/jX0u_pf3XmgPox44WoY8WYpJ4z54Mn0
> 
> Also, here is the promised chapter!

**classic:** we've gotta talk.

 **You:** listen, man. come on. it's not that bad, i assure you.

 **classic:** you say that, but i don't believe you. 

**classic:** what game are ya playin' at? you want us to let ya out or something?

 **classic:** is this human just some ploy ya've got to let ya out? like a hostage. 

**You:** classic, no!

 **You:** this human is just our friend. that's it. no sneaky tricks or anythin'.

 **classic:** even if that's true, ya know that i don't think i can allow this. you two are very dangerous. 

**classic:** what if you put their life in danger? 

**classic:** or worse

 **classic:** what happens if they put _our_ lives in danger? 

**You:** they're not like that either. they're good. they're kind.

 **You:** they've become paps' new best friend.

 **You:** unlike how your brother and blue abandoned him.

 **You:** no shade.

 **classic:** that sounds like full shade to me, but whatever

 **classic:** i'll let it slide. 

**classic:** if they really are 'good' as you say, then i want to meet them.

 **classic:** if anyone's going to be the judge, it'll be me. 

**classic:** i've seen too many humans threaten my brother to not be wary of them, axe. 

**You:** please, sans, don't do this. 

**classic:** since all of the others are going to be visiting your home in sets periodically the next few weeks, this'll be easier.

 **classic:** i'll have them evaluate the human and then report it back to me. 

**classic:** once i have their opinions and i'm able to be fully certain on whether meeting them is hazardous or not, i'll decide.

 **classic:** i'll make an appointment and you better bring them by, or else i'll find them. 

**You:** sans, you've gone mad. please, just listen to reason, even _i_ don't think every human is dangerous.

 **You:** sans, you're going to regret this, please.

 **You:** sans, reconsider, i beg of you.

 **You:** sans, you don't understand what this human means to us.

 **You:** you can't do this, not like everything else. don't take this away, too.

 **classic:** axe, remember the contract? 

**classic:** need i remind you that you don't have a choice anymore? 

**classic:** i'll even make sure to start with your brother. 

**You:** i'll bring them by when you're ready.

* * *

One cerulean orb stared right through you and a shiver traced down your spine, feeling whoever this was read you like a book. His bone-brows furrowed and the corners of his mouth stretched up tightly, then he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Shutting your agape mouth and shaking off the initial shock, your pupils trailed down his figure and you drank in his appearance. He wore an outfit similar to your Sans, though his parka seemed to be a brighter shade of blue. Cobalt, azure, lapis? You couldn't be too sure, confident that you knew it wasn't the same slate color. 

There wasn't a giant hole in his skull and his teeth were straight, thicker and not as many were present in his maw. Sweat beaded his browline and a couple of rivulets trickled down his temple, yet he managed to maintain eye contact with you. Even though his eye-lights vibrated in place slightly and he twitched uncomfortably, almost like he just wanted to avert his eyes and sprint away from this encounter. You stared at him for a few seconds longer before your irises shifted from him and glanced to the other sets of brothers, noticing how each of them seemed to be nervously adjusting or shimming in place. At this, you pursed your lips and quirked a brow. 

Just who was this skeleton?

"Uh, nothin' much, homie," you hummed out. "What's going on with you?" This skeleton, who you could only assume was also named Sans, blinked animatedly once in response to your lackadaisical attitude. His posture stiffened and he shrunk in on his shoulders just slightly, which made you realize that even though he tried to hide himself away, he was still a couple of heads taller than you. This was still a little bit shorter than your Sans but it made you do another sweep of the room, realizing that the only skeleton who seemed to be anywhere near your height would be Blue. Although, even Blue was taller than you by a few inches. You gulped. Welp, looks like these guys could decide to stuff you through the ink machine if they wanted. Better play this safe. 

"heh, kiddo, i really don't think you're in the position to be asking questions," his tone was low and his voice gruff. It was a deep baritone, that's for sure. Both of your brows darted up your forehead in surprise, confused at his hostility. You bit the inside of your cheek, realizing that you were kind of an uninvited guest, but some of the others had brought you here so this prick can suck it. 

"I literally just asked how you were doing?" you stated carefully, really cautious of this skeleton who seemed like he wanted to put some bones through you and not in a fun way. This Sans, who you've decided you were going to address as _Doughboy_ , tightened his expression and his eye-lights drifted over to your Sans and Papyrus. Ever so slowly, you started putting together all of the pieces. 

"yeah? well, i'm curious as to why one of my... _friends_ is currently knocked out," his gaze immediately snapped back over to you and sharpened. "don't think i didn't hear that crack, human. what are you doing here?" Out of instinct, you glanced at Rust and your brows pinched together, then you looked back at Doughboy, glaring. Wait a minute, this couldn't be him, could it?

Was this their landlord?

"Uh, I was dishing out a serving of justice?" you responded cheerfully, a smile gracing your features. "What, you got a problem with that?" Now you were on edge and very defensive. This had to be Sans and Papyrus' landlord, everything about him screamed 'asshole'. These barely noticeable, wispy blue flames danced around the edges of Doughboy's singular orb, his permanent grin now etched into a disgruntled frown. 

"'a serving of justice', huh?" Doughboy echoed, squinting his eye-sockets and focusing solely on you. "now what exactly do you need to be dealing out justice for, hm?" Your back straightened and you placed your left hand on your hip, glare now twisted up into a grimace. You jabbed your thumb towards Sans and Papyrus, brow arched. 

"'Crooks' and 'Axe', huh?" you mimicked Doughboy in a childish voice, making air quotations with two digits and gritting your teeth. Doughboy's eye-lights doused and he stared in absolute silence, his body not making a single move and this made your anger spike. This was him! Taking a deep breath to calm yourself and steeling your muscles, you tried to placate yourself long enough to at least finish this conversation. Every single part of your body was shaking, livid and it increased the longer Doughboy didn't answer you. You'll give him to the count of three, then ya sock it to him. Just as you were about to reach the final number, Doughboy's eye-lights reappeared, looking like the two familiar white orbs you were used to seeing on Sans. Doughboy chuckled once, looking down at his feet. 

"oh, you're _their_ human, aren't you?" At this, one of your eyes twitched. Sure, you _were_ their soulmate, but nobody _owned_ you. If this sick, twisted, son of a b-word thinks he can just waltz in, reign down his unjust rule on other versions of him and his brother, then have the audacity to act like he wasn't doing anything wrong - well, he's got another thing coming. 

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," you huffed, crossing your arms. Sans and Papyrus blanched, flipping out and they anxiously glanced back and forth between you and Doughboy. Papyrus placed his hand on his chin in thought, stroking his mandible slowly before he released an 'a-ha!' and then balled a fist to hit down into his open palm. He uncurled his fist, gently patted his palm with his phalanges, then he mimicked the motion like he was slamming both of his hands onto a table, and finally placed a hand on his hip and jabbed his index phalange out forward. 

You got the message. 

Lie like a dog. 

"Okay, so it's like this," you started out slowly because Doughboy's burning stare had deepened at your earlier statement. "I don't remember." Sans now slapped his face with his hand, peering out at you from in between his phalanges. Papyrus beamed at you, absolutely proud that you had managed to understand his cues and turned his attention back to Doughboy. 

"y-you don't _remember_?" Doughboy growled out incredulously, pulling his hands out of his pockets and flopping them out in front of him, palms facing the ceiling. "what do you mean by that? how could literally not - listen, if this is some bad reference, you're doing a poor job at it." Doughboy slit his eye-sockets and slid his pupils over to the screen, glaring at the Author. When you tilted your head to the side, Doughboy snapped his sights back to you and scoffed. 

"Okay, so I might have tried to pull a sneaky on ya, but don't blame me," you held your hands up in defense. "But to answer your previous question, yes. I know them, but I don't belong to them." Doughboy rolled his eye-lights, lowering his hands. 

"ya might as well," he gruffed out," who knows what they've done to mark you." The only thing you could do was stare at him in silent fury, fuming in absolute rage and it quickened by each passing second. Just what kind of drugs could this prick be on? Doughboy needed to come down from his high-horse and actually speak to you like you were an equal, not some prize to be claimed. Also, what else is he insinuating? That your Sans and Papyrus are just like a couple of feral dogs in the woods ready to mark and breed the first thing that accidentally stumbled across them? 

"Excuse me, Mister _Doughboy_ ," you hissed out, seething. "I don't know just exactly who you think you are, but Sans and Papyrus have been nothing but absolute sweethearts to me. Not these insane-in-the-membrane creeps that you're making them out to be." You took a step forward, fists balled down at your sides. Doughboy sensed your hostility and lifted his skull up by a fraction, body tensed and ready to dodge an attack. 

"'doughboy'? you're mistaken," Doughboy muttered, "the name's sans. sans the skeleton." Even though he felt threatened under your stare, he politely offered his hand in mercy. You momentarily paused, glanced down at his outstretched hand, then back up to his face. You sniffed and clucked your tongue, nose wrinkling in disgust. Doughboy seemed to realize that flatteries weren't going to work on you and dropped his hand, watching you take another step closer. 

"Honestly, Doughboy, I don't really care that you call yourself a Sans," you grumbled. "All that I care about is that this has gone on for long enough, for far too many chapters." Slowly, you crept forward, ready to pounce at any minute. Doughboy's pupils doused and his singular blue orb returned, glimmering brighter than before. Doughboy knew that you weren't playing any more games, but he chose not to make any sudden moves. 

"what exactly has gone on for too long?" Doughboy quirked a brow, observing how you slithered towards him, how you resembled a snake in the grass sneaking up on its prey soundlessly. "i don't even know you." 

"That's fair," you chuckled. "I don't even know you either, just know that I absolutely hate your guts." 

"i don't even have any, but go off, i guess. and yeah, so why is that?" Doughboy inquired, barely cocking his head to the side. "don't tell me a couple of bad nicknames made you want to punch the daylights out of rust." You shook your head, smirking deliciously and placing your clenched fists on your hips. 

"I mean, those nicknames I assume are specifically making fun of their past, so, of course," you said. "Just what kind of asshole does that, yo? But anyhow, you're right. Rust isn't the only reason." You answered Doughboy in such a mocking way that his jaw tightened and he looked down to the floor again, waiting for you to be within an arm's distance from him. When you finally came to pause in front of Doughboy, he glanced back up to your face and saw that you were no longer in the mood for his pedantic attitude. Your expression was serious, cold, and calculated. Whatever was going to happen, Doughboy definitely needed to be prepped for it. 

"then pray tell me," Doughboy drawled out," what's making you into such an evil human?"

For a moment, your breathing faltered. Up until now, you've dealt with two skeletons constantly crying on your shoulders, seeking out reassurance and comfort and love. You've seen them through some of their worst episodes, though you're certain that they've experienced worse before you even knew them. You've held their hands and when they looked at you with their eye-lights shivering underneath your gaze and trembling with pure and raw emotion, you swore that you would get revenge for them. You had promised yourself you would seek out their abusive landlord and avenge their suffering, their pain, their abandoned selves. 

There had been nights where you had been laying in bed, staring up at your ceiling because you just couldn't bring yourself to fall asleep because all you could imagine was how much Sans and Papyrus were suffering alone out here in these woods. Just drifting away from reality, lied to and hidden from their dreams of seeing the pretty blue sky. Your fingertips were itching, twitching underneath the pressure of justice. You couldn't believe this. You couldn't believe Doughboy's words. 

You? An evil human? For wanting justice? You admit, maybe Rust didn't deserve to be knocked out, but you hadn't even hit him that hard and if one punch could fell him, well...maybe he's just a big pussy in the first place. Even if the nicknames were totally not cool and picked on them for something Sans and Papyrus couldn't even really control in the first place, knocking him out was sort of uncalled for. But, the punch, however, spoke in volumes for you. For everything that these guys have done to Sans and Papyrus, they should be thankful one measly punch is all that's coming to them. 

Focusing your attention back onto Doughboy, you visibly frowned.

He had called you evil.

The landlord who had trapped these two away, forcing them to stay out of the light and never experience freedom. The landlord who had yet to offer Sans or Papyrus any sort of medical or mental care, letting then just live on painfully with their multiple injuries. The landlord who kept a tab on the amount of food they were allotted and their rations per week, trying to keep them 'harmless' or whatever the hell his goal was. The landlord who allowed the others to make fun of Sans and Papyrus with those godforsaken nicknames, not caring how they could be wearing down on their mental or emotional state. The landlord who didn't really even allow these two to have a friend, with the apparent exception of you. 

But no, _you_ were the evil one. 

You steadily took in a deep breath, trying to remain calm and closing your eyes. If you stared into Doughboy's singular orb any longer, you thought you were going to lose it all right there and pounce on him. Okay, breathe in and breathe out, try not to betray your cool guy exterior. First of all, you needed to make sure that this was even actually the landlord. It would be awfully embarrassing if you socked it to him and it turned out to be the wrong person. Having taken a breather and found the tranquility within yourself to speak again, you opened your eyes and fixed your leer onto Doughboy. He shifted underneath your creepy stare, but said nothing. 

"Are you the landlord?" you asked quietly, ignoring his previous question. Doughboy blinked at you, curious about your actions and observing your every move. He cleared his throat by coughing into his fist, looking off to the side. 

"yeah, guess i am," Doughboy answered your question and you shut your eyes once more. If you kept them open, you were sure that he would see the emotions blazing in them and then it would give away your entire plan. Doughboy seemed to already be expecting you to hurt him and was standing defensively, so that meant you were going to have to go in for a betray kill. Not actually killing him, of course. 

"Ah, that's nice," you nodded your head at him. "All right then, that's all I needed to know, thank you, sir." You pivoted around on your heel, sizing up Sans and Papyrus, motioning for them to follow you with a wiggle of your index digit in the 'come hither' gesture. They seemed disappointed, quickly glancing between you and Doughboy. You had promised them this, you had promised them justice not too long ago. Yet, here you were, standing right in front of the one person that had hurt them the most and you were doing **_nothing_**. Papyrus' jaw dropped, forming a frown. His shoulders slumped and the ends of his bone-brows pinched together sadly, but not a single word spilled from his mouth. Sans had this funny look on his face, his features trembling like a child who didn't get their way and were about to start crying. 

That hurt you.

It hurt you to see them like this; like no one was ever actually going to stand up for them and you tried to keep your emotions from spiking so that the monsters in the room couldn't sense the sudden influx of your soul. Breathing out heavily, you mumbled out a pathetic apology and starting walking out of the house. You ignored the other skeletons, grumbling internally at their piqued curiosity and expressions of confusion. You hated that you had to do this to Sans and Papyrus, but it had to be done. 

Tossing a quick glimpse over your shoulder, you watched the two of them follow after you dejectedly. Their solemn faces and their despondent postures made your heart throb harshly against your rib cage. Sans had felt it, the slight spike, and his head jerked up by an inch to look at you but you had already turned your attention back to the front door. 

Behind you, Doughboy stared after you rather suspiciously, not truly believing that you were just walking out after what you had done to Rust. He didn't trust humans like that, never has and never will. There were a few different types of humans: the pacifist who would never hurt anything, the neutral who didn't mind fights but never killed anyone, and then the genocidal. The last one spoke for itself, and Doughboy was fairly certain that you fell into the last category. 

Yet, as he watched you stalk back to the threshold of the mansion, he felt his guard suddenly slipping. Doughboy wasn't entirely sure what it was that made him do that, but once it started dissipating, he found it harder to muster back up. Something radiated off of you and it made him curious, even if he felt threatened by your intimidating presence. It could possibly be the thing that made those two cannibals so attracted to you or maybe it was just that his soul seemed to thrash to life underneath your stare. Whatever it was, it sure as hell didn't comfort him. Doughboy couldn't help when he lost himself in his thoughts, wondering just exactly who you were and how you managed to do these things. Could you possibly be some sort of mage? Though he was fairly certain they died out nearly a millennium ago, a drop of blood in you could have been passed down in your family for generations and you were able to retain that magical ability. 

Though his ponderings were well warranted, Doughboy chose the absolute worst time to fall back into his reverie. 

Because now he was distracted. 

You knew that he was distracted the moment the hairs on the back of your neck stopped bristling underneath his hard scrutiny. 

Taking the risk and peering back over your shoulder, you ignored how Sans and Papyrus sadly studied the ground intently and landed on Doughboy. His body had relaxed and his face held this far-away look etched into his features, signaling that he wasn't necessarily paying attention to you anymore even if his eye-lights were still trained on your figure. You also made sure to spare a glance at the other sets of brothers, noticing that they only watched you back in return. They were probably interested in what you were thinking or how you could claim to care so much for Sans and Papyrus, yet choose to do nothing. 

Forcing down your feelings and focusing on not emoting, you looked back at Doughboy. Well, if you were going to actually do anything, you'll only have one shot. If you try and fail, then the others might intervene or Doughboy will whoop your ass in return. Not really a wanted outcome, but it was definitely a possibility. If you're going to deliver justice, you're going to do it right. 

You've been fantasizing about this very moment from the second you learned about the landlord. Scenario after scenario flooded your senses and for a blinding moment, all you could see was white. Fury pounded through your veins and your mind swam back to the very first episode the brothers experienced with you, how they saved you, fed you, and didn't do anything horrible to you even though they totally could have taken advantage of you during your high. You could remember Papyrus twirling you around and you could remember Sans gripping your ankles for dear life, basically begging that you not leave them, too. 

The nicknames rang in your eardrums and reverberated around in your head like an echo in a dark cavern, sadness fluttering like the wings of a bat scuttling about aimlessly to escape the darkness and break free from the cave. Your breathing picked up and your chest unsteadily rose and fell, your fists balling and your jaw clenching. You could feel their pain, could feel it throbbing through the strings that connected your soul to theirs and, once again, white drowned out your vision. Your vision tunneled and then there was a narrow opening, Doughboy standing in the center of it all. 

Sans and Papyrus now watched you and you could see how expressionless they were from your peripherals, ready to just get out of here and go home. Your face hardened and your brows furrowed, a huff of air puffing out from your nostrils. 

"Hold on, boys," you murmured out so quietly," I forgot something." The words you spoke slipped past your lips so soundlessly that it didn't even sound like a whisper, Sans and Papyrus thought they might have imagined that you said anything at all. It didn't even look like you had moved your lips either, like a skilled ventriloquist. When they glanced around them, it appeared none of the others had heard you, so they believed it might just all be in their head. Some sweet fantasy that you actually were going to stand up for them, that you weren't going to break your promise as everyone else has done to them, too. 

You didn't repeat yourself, instead steeling yourself on what was about to go down and how it might backfire. You've never been in a scuffle with a monster, but you knew that you needed to be careful. Magic could hurt like hell, especially if one of their attacks pierced through you. HP was also something that you needed to be wary of, lest you want to accidentally dust someone. Though you absolutely loathed Doughboy, you didn't want to kill him for his sins. Did you want to punch him? Yes. A punch would be fine. A punch wouldn't kill anyone and you're sure of it. 

Your primary hand was vibrating, pent up tension thudding against your flesh and your knuckles so tight they were white. Closing your eyes and exhaling, you tried to summon all of your emotions into your fist. You wanted Doughboy to feel the raw feelings you felt anytime you looked at Sans or Papyrus, imagined what it could have been like in their shoes. A shudder traced down your spine and made your fist jerk slightly. This would be for them, this would be for all of the tears they ever shed. This would be for every horrible deed the landlord released upon them, how he let them rot. 

"Hey, Doughboy," you said and Doughboy was ripped from his reverie. He was off-guard and he actually thought you had left the room and was now just standing in the foyer, but he found that he was horribly wrong. Doughboy was horribly wrong as he looked up fearfully, frozen like a deer in the headlights and your fist was poised in the air. A smirk stretched across your features and Doughboy couldn't do anything while your next words hung in the atmosphere, _"Sleep tight!"_

A loud _crack!_ resounded through the mansion and, then,

Doughboy was gone.


	12. blut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! I describe some very, very graphic/disturbing/gross imagery in here. If you are sensitive, I suggest that you be wary, okay! I love you guys, thank you so much for supporting me thus far! If you're curious of what nicknames I've developed for the Horrortale Brothers, you'll have to stay tuned for the next couple of chapters. :))

Sans couldn't see. 

Why couldn't he see? 

He sat up, gasping and reaching for his skull, yet the only thing his phalanges managed to snag was what felt like the handle of a rod. He traced the smooth texture, feeling it barely vibrate underneath the tips of his fingers and it made him wonder if what he was touching had a magical quality to it. Voices surrounded him, yet he couldn't make out a single word. Everything just kind of blurred together and he realized that his other eye was wrenched shut, the side of his face all pinched together and drawn up in pain. 

Sans' skull was throbbing, a migraine pounding the sides of his face and suddenly he couldn't breathe. His heart sank and then his hand trailed down the rod to wetness. It was inky and it pooled all over the indentions above the apples of his face and traced down his cheekbones, and then finally, his mandible like tears. When Sans pulled his hand away from his head, it dripped down like droplets of rain and he had to choke back a sob that suddenly tore through him. 

Nothing made sense. He couldn't make sense of any of it either. Sans grit his teeth and the pain increased, feeling whatever liquid that was drenching his skull thicken and pour out like a sink faucet. When he tried to cover it back up, Sans' hand fell limply to his side and he was unable to move either of his arms. He strained and he grunted, trying to move his body but now he was paralyzed, trapped into place by whatever inky substance this was and drowning him. 

It flooded his senses, clogging up his nasal cavity and then falling into the back of his throat. Sans couldn't breathe, he desperately inhaled over and over again, but nothing worked. Whenever he swallowed it, the substance just filled back up and replaced whatever had been lost. It was fruitless and Sans started losing hope, feeling his life slip away from his grasp. His soul hurt, and Sans swore to himself that he would dust away at any moment if this continued, and he started crying. But it was lost in the ink and then suddenly there were voices. They were loud and clear now. 

Papyrus. He heard his brother's screechy, tenor voice cut through the soundwaves and then there was another voice that sounded so familiar. Sans couldn't exactly put his hand on it, but then it became distorted and floated away from his hearing and fading away until the only thing Sans could understand was the words Papyrus said. Then he heard it, what sounded like a cry. It came from Papyrus, and whatever caused it was rooted in deep sorrow and Sans felt his heart pang. His baby brother was crying and Sans couldn't do a single thing about it. He didn't even really understand why he couldn't move at all, why all of this was happening. 

What had upset his brother? Sans' teeth edgily slid over one another and he smacked his mouth open, groaning out and feeling the air hiss past his teeth. He was trying to answer his brother, but no words came. He couldn't even begin to form them in his mind. Then, the ink torrentially thundered into his mouth and filled him up. More chokes resounded from Sans, but there was no more air left to emit. 

Sans struggled and, finally, his right eye opened. 

His brother's face stared down at him sadly, orange tears pooling at the edges of his eye-sockets. Sans noticed that there was a slight crack tracing up the bridge of his brother's nasal cavity, ending somewhere near the center of his forehead. Sans' brows internally furrowed together, worried that this is why he was crying, but then Papyrus cupped his cheek and started crying more. Oh, no. No. Sans couldn't even begin to question if _he_ had been the one to hurt Papyrus because as soon as the thought formed, Papyrus retracted his hand and then Sans could see it clearly. 

Blood. 

Bright, crimson red blood coated his brother's hand and a few rivulets thwacked his temple when it dripped down from his phalanges. Sans twitched, realizing that he was choking on his own blood and a wheeze ripped through him. No, is he dying? He can't die. He can't leave his brother to die here, alone on the surface. What happens if a human dusts him? Sans struggled once more, straining against whatever binds were freezing him in place and spitting out the blood the bubbled in his mouth. It was gross and unsightly, making Papyrus cringe away from his brother by a couple of inches. Sans would have stopped immediately after realizing that his brother was uncomfortable, but he couldn't stop trying. 

Sans had to believe. He had to keep living for his brother, had a duty to protect him. If he dusts, then Papyrus will be left alone to the cruel, sick, twisted hands of the human race. He couldn't allow that. 

But, then his vision clouded over and then his brother's visage evanesced and disappeared into nothing again. Sans wanted to cry out, terrified at dying and losing his brother. He didn't want to die. Didn't want to leave Paps alone. 

Why did this happen?

How did this happen?

He didn't want to leave! 

_No!_

Please, don't let the darkness take over.

No.

He's not ready!

Paps, I'm so sorry.

* * *

Sans woke up, choking once more and swiping at his face to remove any last traces of blood that stained his skull. He blinked rapidly a few times to get a hold on his bearings, but then suddenly his stomach twisted in on itself and he retched. He covered his mouth, ashamed such a noise came from him and glanced around. Then Sans gasped, removing his hand from his mouth and looking down at his open palm. 

_Nothing_. 

There was nothing there. It was just his normal skeletal hand, but the tips of his phalanges seemed oddly sharper and elongated. Sans blinked to dismiss the confusion that clouded his mind, shifting his eye-lights up and skimming around his room. It appeared to be normal, messy and disorderly. Though, the trash tornado was oddly weak looking. Not as much trash swirled in its grasp and it occasionally fluttered, like it was about to collapse at any second. Quirking a bone-brow, Sans went to throw his legs over the edge of the bed, but then that twisting pain tore through his tummy again. 

Sans throatily groaned out, hands grabbing for his stomach and digging his nails into his shirt. Stars, that hurt. Why was his stomach so upset? Why was he so hungry? It was the kind of hungry that itches at the back of your throat and makes you feel kind of dehydrated, disoriented to be exact. Sans shut his eyes, trying to keep how bright the lights in his room were from making him even more sicker. Cocking his head to the side, he heard shuffling downstairs and realized that his room looked oddly familiar. 

Wait...this isn't his room in the mansion.

This was his room in the Underground. 

No. No, no, no! It can't be! He can't be trapped here again. They had been freed for a few years, what happened? Did something happen overnight and now all of the monsters were banished again? A few tears trickled down his cheekbones and he stood up, ignoring the pangs that punched him straight in the gut and shuffling towards the threshold. He needed to find Paps, he would explain everything. Wrapping his phalanges around the doorknob and twisting, Sans pulled the door open and took a step out. 

But his sock came into contact with something cold and crunchy. The loud crunching echoed throughout the area and Sans looked down at his feet, now realizing that he was suddenly wearing a pair of slate blue slippers. Strange, Sans only has a pair of fuzzy pink slippers. Then he shifted his eye-lights up, not really moving and frozen in place. Sans was surrounded by snow. It was everywhere, and a forest circled around him and trapped him in place. The trees were charcoal and blackened like they had been scorched in a fire, and Sans swallowed. 

He was back in Snowdin, except it looked slightly different. Sans noticed his breath clouding right in front of his eyes and he realized that he was hyperventilating. Placing a hand over his chest and taking a deep breath to calm himself, Sans tried to loosen the tension from his shoulders and they drooped slightly. 

_Crunch_. 

Sans' skull snapped up and his eye-lights trained on a figure in the distance, stomping towards him in a rush, something slumped over the figure's right shoulder. He squinted his eyes, trying hard to focus on whoever was walking and see what exactly they were carrying. Then Sans realized that it was Papyrus. His heart leaped up into his throat and Sans moved forward, a dopey smile gracing his features and spreading his arms wide. Finally, his bro. After that nightmare he just experienced, he was glad that he could see his brother. That he could touch his brother, hold him, hug him, smile with him, laugh with him, and just love him. 

But then Sans stopped dead in his tracks. 

Papyrus, his brother. 

What was _that_ on his shoulder? 

His brother wasn't daunted at all and kept moving forward, waving slightly at his brother. Sans felt like his entire world was going to crash as soon as he realized what his brother was carrying. A human, right there, right on his shoulder. Blood trickled down their legs and plopped onto the snow, their body limp and lifeless. Sans' jaw dropped to the ground and he audibly gasped, mouth trembling. This couldn't be. Did Papyrus do that?

Why are they dead? 

He tried to speak, but the words never came. Instead, his brother smirked widely and then dug his digits into the human's hair, ripping them off of his shoulder and thrusting them into Sans' face. He recoiled, brows darting up his forehead and abhor etching into his features. The human's face was melting off, skin blotching and disgusting and rotting. Their eyes were swollen and the sockets were sunken in, gray and decomposing. Their mouth was dropped, sinking further and further to the snow the closer it got to his face and Sans felt so much bile rise in the back of his throat. 

Sans swiped his hand out, trying to push the human's head away but Papyrus just pushed it right on back into his face. Their hair was filled with lice and maggots and straggling strands flossed through his teeth and they filled up his face. He started coughing, trying to rid himself of the hair but it came to life. Moving and swirling, swimming through his mouth and over his tongue and down his throat. Sans threw up, but the hair just writhed in it, bathing itself and Sans could hear what sounded like earnest chirps and he felt sick all over again. It just kept coming and coming, the hair didn't seem to stop either. Locks wrapped around his throat and choked him, tied around his bones and locked him and place and the last thing Sans could see was the twinkle in those tiny, pinprick eye-sockets of his brother. 

* * *

A scream ripped through the air and Sans shot up, numbly grasping for his chest and trying to calm his erratic breathing. It took a few seconds, but Sans was able to catch his breath again and he looked around. It was a nightmare, another nightmare. He was just sitting in Grillby's joint, taking a quick nap. He must have fallen asleep while waiting for his food or something. Then a thought struck him like a punch to the face. 

Wait, Grillby's? No, he's still in the Underground? Was the surface just an illusion this whole time? Did the other versions of him and his brother not exist either? What about that human? Just what exactly is going on here? 

Sans' eye-lights did a quick sweep across the restaurant, noticing how the glossy texture of the bar's island no longer seemed polished to a shine and had speckles of some unknown, dried, and flaking substance coating almost every inch. His stomach grumbles uneasily, telling him that he was hungry still. He had been hungry these past few nightmares, just the constant lingering feeling of starvation. It made his head whirl and suddenly more bile settled in the back of his mouth. Groaning and covering his mouth, Sans closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

Then it hit him. 

It smelled delicious, whatever it was. Salvia slickened his mouth and his eyes snapped open, scanning the bar. Earlier, the place seemed deserted but obviously someone had to be in here cooking up whatever amazing thing that was. The scent was warm and meaty, filling the air and spices of all kinds intoxicated him. The sensation made him slightly dizzy and when he sprang from the barstool, he had to grapple for the edges of the island so that he could steady himself from toppling over. When he could walk again, Sans took a couple of weak steps forward. He inhaled deeply, took a couple of quick whiffs, then another step forward. His hands were drawn up to his chest, mimicking how a dog looked when they begged for food. 

Sans could hear some baritone humming coming from inside of the kitchen, through the threshold with the 'fire-exit' sign. He would have teleported there right away, but his magic felt depleted. The atmosphere also held that same sort of air, lacking any magical qualities. Sans cocked his head to the side, trying to push down his throbbing hunger and think out how that was possible, but the smell filled him up and the want pounded back twice as hard. He couldn't fight it, he couldn't win against it. Sans gave in, taking a few hasty steps to the kitchen and reaching out for the door. 

The humming was louder now and a sizzling accompanied it, filling the dead silence with this friendly feeling. A smile stretched across Sans' face and he grasped for the doorknob, his phalanges tracing the cool metal before twisting and pushing. Darkness greeted him as he took his first step inside and Sans looked everywhere to locate the source of the food, trailing his hand along the wall and fumbling about for the light switch. His eyes steadily adjusted to the dark and when he glanced down, he noticed that there wasn't a light switch on the wall. At all. Which was strange, Grillby's always had one. So why was it no longer there?

Then a scraping sound entered his eardrums and then a thudding and more sizzling, the sound of someone flipping over a patty. Sans' head perked up, interested in snatching up whatever it was because it sure as hell smelled delectable, and angled his skull towards the source of the noise. A flickering red, orange, and yellow flame stood a couple of feet away and Sans was confused that he hadn't noticed him earlier. Chuckling to himself nervously, Sans stepped forward and tried to call out for Grillby, but paused as Grillby pivoted around on his axis so fast that it resembled a shock of lightning. 

Sans gasped and hesitated, foot poised in midair because he was about to head on over to Grillby. His eye-lights trailed up the once familiar flame elemental monster and frowned, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he watched what resembled the human's face from his previous nightmare melt and drip in front of him. Grillby's face was inky, drenched in melting flesh and permanently frozen in a horrified scream. It made Sans' tummy twist, made more intense by the smell of burning skin. Averting his eyes and staring at his feet, Sans tried to bring himself to say anything until he heard what sounded like a hiss. 

Looking back up, he saw that Grillby was gone, but the grill continued cooking. There was some huge slab of meat on it and Sans cocked his skull, scanning the room to locate wherever Grillby ran off to and trying to shake that horrifying visage out of his mind. Finally clearing his head, Sans inhaled and moved towards the stove. There was already a plate and some cutlery waiting on the counter beside the grill, almost as if someone had ordered this and Grillby was fixing it up from them. It didn't take a lot to deduce that this was probably a hamburger or something that Sans had asked for before he fell asleep since no one else apparently was in the establishment. Nodding and grinning to himself, Sans scooped up the roast fork and lifted it to strike into the hunk of meat but halted. 

This meat...why was it so big? This isn't the usual size of the burgers Grillby makes, so why is it massive? And that smell, it definitely didn't resemble burgers in any sense. It was juicier and it seemed more tender, plus the scent reminded Sans more of chicken or some other type of meat. Not the burgs he loves, so what was Grillby cooking him? Shrugging and considering that maybe Grillby was trying something new, Sans brought the two-pronged fork down into the slab and ripped himself out a chunk. It was sloppy and very stringy, some sort of liquid squelched out whenever he slammed it onto the center of the plate and Sans once again hesitated. 

Weird, but maybe it had to deal with the lack of magic that seemed to be present. Perhaps this food lacking the usual luster of magic liquified it more or at least changed the texture, so Sans tried to ignore the eerie feel tingling down his spine. Sans settled the plate back onto the counter and reached for the silverware, sliding the knife over the meat and using the fork to scoop it up. Lifting his hand to his mouth and opening his maw, he jammed the food in greedily and hummed in delight at the taste. Stars, whatever Grillby was attempting to do, he was excellent at it. No wonder the flame elemental was a culinary master! 

Sans wasted no more time and quickly scooped up more of the food to shovel it into his mouth, barely chewing before he swallowed. His plate was cleared before he even registered it and his tongue lolled up to lap up the juices, groaning and dropping the plate. It crashed to the floor and shattered to pieces, the clang echoing throughout the silent room as Sans clawed at the meat on the grill and began tearing off chunks to eat. The grease squirted out and stained the cuffs of his jacket, but Sans didn't mind. The only thing he could think about was how fucking _hungry_ he was. Sans kept eating and eating, yet the feeling never left. 

His stomach felt like a black hole, a bottomless pit that could never be filled up and Sans moaned out at each swallow and closed his eyes in pure ecstasy. The smell surrounded him, trapped him in its clutches. Sans flushed against it, letting the scent drench his being and claim him. Sans wanted this, he just wanted to think about eating. So he did, and he kept going. 

Until he heard chuckling. 

It was very quiet and he almost missed it over the lewd noises he had previously been emitting, but his sharp hearing picked up on it. The chuckling belonged to a baritone voice and it almost reminded him of his own chuckle, until he realized that it was probably Grillby's. When Sans took a break from stuffing his gullet, he glanced around the room and saw no one. Tilting his head in confusion and humming much similar to a dog, Sans found himself pulled back to the stove whenever he heard what sounded like a weak moan. Blinking a few times, Sans glanced down. 

And almost vomited. 

Body splayed out before him and organs ripped out and twisted around his palms was the same human Papyrus had been lugging around in his nightmare. Sans quivered in place and locked up as the taste in his mouth became metallic, spilling over his teeth and his eye-lights dilated when he realized he had been ripping this human open and eating them alive. 

They weren't even dead. 

The human Paps had wasn't even dead! Sans was killing them, he was eating them, he ate them! No, he didn't mean to! He would never, he could never! He didn't want to! He was so, so, so, so hungry! He couldn't fight it! Hunger, hunger, human, Sans needed it! Flesh was in his mouth, blood covered him! He ate a human! He ate a human! He ate a human he ate a human he ate a human a human a human a human a human a human a

* * *

Sans screeched and wrestled the blankets off of his body, feeling dirty and pinned by his sins. When he sprang up in his bed screaming in agony and grabbing for his skull, attempting to cradle it and calm himself down, Sans realized he was back in his room. He was back in his room in the mansion on the surface and he was _fine_. He hadn't just eaten a human, he hadn't killed anyone, Paps hadn't killed anyone, and Grillby was normal.

Everything was normal again. 

He sighed as he realized that he was all right and tears fell from his ducts, delicately tracing down his mandibles and splatting onto the comforter. A few insane chuckles escaped him and Sans tried to keep himself from falling into a panic-induced episode, his heart beating a mile a minute and breathing flapping him into the stratosphere. When he rehearsed a few breathing exercises in his head and managed to put them into practice to come down, Sans heard the chuckling again. 

Sans couldn't move, he didn't want to move. He knew this had to be another nightmare. He was dead, the human killed him and his punishment was to relive nightmare after nightmare for all of eternity. Sans started hyperventilating again, unable to keep himself stable as the chuckling had now shifted into full-blown laughter. Sans heard what sounded like a wheeze and someone slapping their knee, like Sans' breakdown was just some regular, ole comedy skit. Gritting his teeth, furrowing his bone-brows and digging the tips of his phalanges into his skull, Sans slid his eye-lights over to the source of the noise and faltered. 

There was now a hot-pink recliner shoved into the furthest corner of his room and someone was sitting in it. They looked just like Sans, minus the tentacles and the charcoal goop dripping off of him. He was lazily sprawled across the chair, one leg tossed over an arm and other tapping some unheard rhythm on the floor. He was waving his hand to and fro like he was conducting an orchestra, his smile easy and eye-socket half-lidded. When he noticed the leer Sans was giving him, he perked up slightly and waved. 

"Oh, you're 'awake', nice," he drawled out nonchalantly. Sans swallowed, removing his hands from his skull and letting them fall back into his lap.

"N-Nightmare? What are you doing here?" Sans averted his gaze, focusing instead on his surroundings. "How did I get here? What happened?" Nightmare nodded along to his every word, humming a cheerful and jaunty tune to himself before answering. 

"Oh, I'm in here for a random insert," Nightmare chirped. "Plus the Author asked me to give you a couple of 'bad dreams' to put you in your place. Said that 'you wouldn't be able to Henry Stein your way outta this one' or something like that. I have no idea what that even means, but she bribed me with a smoothie, so 'course here I am." Sans shook his head slightly and sent another questioning glance before Nightmare halted him, lifting his index phalange into the air and shushing him.

"Classic, do you hear that?" Nightmare giggled like a school-girl," that's the sound of you about to be woken up! Tata for now!" Sans didn't even have the opportunity to ask what Nightmare was talking about before he fell through his bed, screaming and kicking into the darkness that pooled around him. Everything floated up, being ripped from this mortal existence into nothingness and fading from his sight and Sans couldn't even comprehend what was happening until he slammed down hard into something and blacked out. 

* * *

"Brother, brother, please, help me," a voice called. "No, don't let him do it. Brother, I love you, I love you. Forgive me, I'm sorry. Forgive us. Don't hurt him. I'm sorry. Sans, I love you." Sans' eyes snapped open and quickly located the source of the voice, eye-lights landing on his brother huddled in the corner. Papyrus was pinned in place by that blasted human, that damned human he knew was here to kill them. Sans growled, springing to his feet but toppling over and crumbling to his knees before he was able to jump to his brother's aid. He released a grunt of surprise, panting and palms falling to the hardwood flooring. 

"We didn't want to do it, we've said this before, please, can't you see?" Papyrus cried. "Just because something bad happened to us doesn't make us bad, please, I'm so sorry. Brother, can you hear me? Are you alive? Won't you help me? I love you so much." Sans heaved, trying to pull himself back up to his feet but his stomach curled and his spine arched and he collapsed. Convulsions surged through him and he was unable to stop the human, eye-sockets leering as wide as saucers and hunching forward on his cheekbones in fear. It can't end like this, Sans was always supposed to be able to take care of his baby brother. He couldn't now. He was experiencing a seizure, he couldn't stop it. This was inevitable. Sans is mad, Sans is crazy, Sans is off his rocker. 

"If you can't forgive us, could you maybe give me just a little bit of sympathy?" Papyrus weakly sobbed out, his voice hoarse from crying so hard. But the human wasn't listening, they would never listen. They only wanted to destroy. Sans felt his throat clench so tightly together and it burned, he was trying to scream but only hot air passed through his grinding teeth. Their arm raised, fingers curled around a knife's handle. Sans yelled, hollered, screeched, tried anything but they weren't even there. It's like they weren't even real, weren't even living. Papyrus watched with tiny, sunken eyes before one last smile graced his features. "I love you, Sans." 

Then the human slashed his head clean off. 

His skull thwacked the ground three times slowly, bouncing like a basketball and Sans' eye-lights could only follow up and down as Papyrus' body dusted away into the wind. Sans' whole body tensed and he released the hardest yell he could manage, screaming so loudly in his head as he saw the human's shoe land on Papyrus' skull and stable it to the ground. He gulped, slowly trailing up their leg, all the way up to their face and he saw Sans. 

Sans watched his duplicate give him a lazy smirk, wink wantonly before he crushed Papyrus' skull. The shattering bone echoed throughout the mansion and it filled Sans' hearing and he threw up, threw up flesh, blood, and intestines. He couldn't even fight it, couldn't fight the burst pipe as it gushed and pooled around him. It just kept coming and the duplicate gnashed its teeth audibly as the left side of his mouth twisted up into this sinister, cruel, and demented grin. Sans wanted to look away, couldn't bring himself to believe that this Sans would ever kill his _brother_. 

Why?

Why did this have to happen?

The bile steadily rose and blocked out his own vision, burning and smelling rotten and grotesque. Sans didn't want to fight it, didn't want to see himself anymore. He was dying, he was drowning in his own filth and he couldn't even save his own brother. The sick fuck that had the guts to kill his brother and for what reason? Why did Paps have to die? Why would he do that? Why would Sans do that? He stopped. 

How could Sans do that to his own brother? 

Sans' soul thumped against his ribcage, fading away whenever he could no longer breathe properly through his nasal cavity and the only thing he could see was the duplicate's visage in his mind's eye. A few pants stuttered out of him and he took one last gasping breath, then he passed away, too.

* * *

"Somebody do something!"

Blue cried out, having tossed Rust's body to the couch. You tilted your head, watching the baby-blue skeleton dash about madly before glancing back down at your feet. Doughboy was experiencing convulsions, his entire body jerked and foam bubbled in his mouth. Your Papyrus and Sans had nimbly grappled for your shoulders and pulled you away from the group of skeletons crowding him, panicking and shouting orders at one another. They had never seen this before, and frankly, neither had you. 

Doughboy had been out for all of five minutes, and in that time, he had managed to scream and claw out like a feral animal. You hadn't even really been able to lower your fist before he was splayed out on the ground and having a seizure. It had been shocking, to say the least. The other skeletons really had no idea what to do, so they just resorted to screaming and Doughboy's brother was freaking out and tears streamed down his cheekbones and snot occasionally dripped from his nasal cavity.

This hectic nonsense continued for no longer than a few more seconds because by the time someone had grabbed a monster-first-aid kit, Doughboy's body jerked up in the blink of an eye with his own set of tears and snot dripping from his features and this real nasty crack running up the bridge of his nose and all the way up his forehead. Everyone became real quiet as soon as Doughboy started sobbing and weakly asked,

"Paps, where are you?"


	13. deine seele ist so groß.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the nicknames are here! I'm also interested in hearing your theories on what's going on with Doughboy down in the comments, wink wink. Also, can anyone tell how many Ace Attorney and Warrior Cats references I can sprinkle into a fanfic before it becomes self-indulgent?

Doughboy's voice cracked and one of your brows arched, glancing over to Sans and Papyrus. They mirrored your expression, so you deadpanned and looked back towards Doughboy's Papyrus - dubbing him as Cheesepuff - to gauge his reaction. Cheesepuff gasped, pushed everyone out of his way and squatted down beside his brother. He placed his hands on Doughboy's shoulders, trying to center him and looked deep into his eye-lights. Doughboy released a choked sob and lurched forward, wrapping his arms around Cheesepuff's neck and burying his skull into that cranny. Cheesepuff tensed, locked up before what just happened registered in his mind and he returned the embrace. 

"BROTHER, EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY," Cheesepuff stated softly. "I'M HERE." He was rubbing soothing circles onto Doughboy's back, cradling him and rocking him side to side gently. Doughboy didn't respond, but his crying increased. Words started spilling past his teeth and fell to the floor, flooding the two of them but Cheesepuff didn't stop him. None of what he said made sense, just a bunch of gibberish about nightmares and dying and eating were the only things you picked up on. Crossing your arms and staring down at your feet, you realize that this might have been your fault. 

They do say the intent behind it all is the only thing that matters. 

Furrowing your brows and biting your bottom lip, your eyes shift over to your Sans in thought. The two of them had to relate by some sort of wavelength, if they really were different versions of each other, that is. You opened your mouth to voice your questions but immediately shut it when you noticed that two of the other Sanses in the room had now fixated some pretty hard glares in your direction. Blue was frowning deeply, a look that seemed like it hardly ever appeared across his features and just felt unnatural. Black's - you happened to catch his name whenever everyone had been panicking - piercing glare basically shouted that he looked like he was about to throw you into a woodchipper, but social norms wouldn't really like that, so he chose to do it mentally. From these two reactions alone, you guessed maybe they felt what Doughboy experienced. 

Sans felt your eyes on him and angled his skull towards you, brows scrunched together and raised slightly. He wasn't going to start the conversation, yet a vibe shuddered through you like he already knew exactly what you were about to ask. You swallowed your questions, for now. Black, on the other hand, wasn't about to swallow his. He huffed indignantly and stalked towards you, scowl worsening each step he took. When he was finally standing before you was the moment you saw that he appeared to be a couple of inches taller than Blue, so maybe a hand bigger than you. Not really intimidating, but the three cracks over his left eye-socket unfortunately was. 

"JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Black screeched, shattering the somewhat calmed aura Cheesepuff was emitting as to sedate his brother. Everyone turned their skulls over to the two of you, minus Doughboy with his head being shoved into the nook of his brother's neck, in curiosity. "WALTZING ON IN HERE, KNOCKING RUST OUT - EVEN IF HE IS A HUGE AND LAZY JERKWAD WHO NEEDS TO BE PUT IN HIS PLACE, AND TRIGGERING A SEIZURE WITH SANS? LOOK, NOW THERE'S A NASTY CRACK ON HIS FACE JUST LIKE CROOKS. HAPPY NOW?" 

Black just kept talking and talking and you realized that he must enjoy the sound of his voice to be able to produce so much at once, but not a single thing he said slipped past you. By the looks of it, you may just have to dish out a third serving of Just Desserts Trademark to him if he doesn't shut his trap soon. Black finally stopped speaking after he noticed the threatening growl that ripped through your throat and the groan that followed, then you uncrossing your arms and balling your fists at your sides. He noticed that he might have pushed you too far, too. Dodger was standing behind you within a second, ready to yoink you away from his brother and right on into the shadow realm dare you to lay a hand on Black. 

"Listen, I also don't know 'just who you think you are' but," you closed the gap between the two of you, head angled downwards but eyes stabbing headfirst into his eye-lights, "you are not going to call Sans and Papyrus that, first of all. Unless you want to end up like Rust, Mister Even-Though-I-Didn't-Think-Of-The-Nicknames-I'm-Still-Going-To-Be-Insensitive-And-Call-Them-That." Black opened his mouth to speak, ignoring the cutthroat motions his brother was making behind you. 

"THEN WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CALL THEM," he snickered like he had gotten the upper-hand and continued," IT WOULD BE CONFUSING IF WE ALL WENT BY 'SANS' AND 'PAPYRUS' AROUND HERE." You lifted your index finger up, silencing him and shaking your head. 

"We'll get to that later," you whispered. "As for Doughboy, I think he deserves a lot worse. Look at my Sans and Papyrus, take a real good and long look, memorize their injuries. I wanna punch them so hard into Doughboy that he comes out with one helluva ugly mug, capiche? I'm done playing the nice guy, I demand justice." Black blinked at you, having faltered slightly and shuffled a few inches backward. One of his bone-brows were quirked and his expression shifted, having gone from violent and ready to whoop ass to confusion and curiosity. 

"HUMAN, TELL ME, WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?" 

"Other than every fiber in my being telling me it would be cruel to just abandon two poor souls in need," you spat questioningly and placing your hands on your hips, cocking your head to the side. Black swallowed, shifting his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably like he was unused to staying in touch with one's own feelings. 

"YEAH, WELL, OTHER THAN THAT, OF COURSE," Black grumbled, refusing to meet your gaze. "IT JUST SEEMS REALLY BIZARRE, YOU KNOW? YOU JUST STUMBLE ACROSS THEM ONE NIGHT AND DECIDE TO _HELP_ THEM, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE I KNOW WHAT YOU COULD DO FOR THEM. YOU'RE SO SELF-RIGHTEOUS FOR THEM AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE. IT'S JARRING TO US, UNLESS THEY LIED ABOUT NOT KIDNAPPING YOU AND CAUSING SOME SORT OF STOCKHOLM SYNDROME TO FORM, YOU SHOULDN'T BE THE ONE HELPING THEM." Your questioning expression increased tenfold and your head reared back slightly, corners of your mouth tugging downwards while you scanned Black and the rest of the members of the mansion. 

"How could it literally be 'jarring'," you yelped, flinging your arms out and looking up to the ceiling, mouth agape in shock. "I'm helping them because of the goodness in my heart! And, God bless it, because the ones who _should_ have helped them have _failed_." Your tone dropped at the end of your sentence and you glowered at them. Black felt shivers trace down his spine and he swallowed nervously, aware that he may just about to be receiving a knuckle-sandwich. 

"I MEAN, ER, WELL, THAT IS POSSIBLY CORRECT THAT MAYBE SANS-"

"Doughboy," you corrected him.

"ER, DOUGHBOY," Black coughed awkwardly into his fist," SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO HELP THEM, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN CONTROL WHAT HE WANTS AND DOESN'T WANT TO DO. THIS IS HIS UNIVERSE, HE CALLS THE SHOTS." 

"So you have no say? You couldn't just perhaps go 'hey, man, that ain't cool' instead of just side-stepping it?" you furrowed your brows and frowned. "They've been here for since, I guess, at least a year and no one has considered 'you know, I think Paps could use some braces' or maybe 'Sans has a literal crater in his skull, we should try to do something for that'?" You glanced back and forth between Black and the other skeletons in the house, noticing that even Cheesepuff was paying attention to you and Doughboy's crying had subdued. 

"MAYBE...? I MEAN, THEY NEVER REALLY LEFT THEIR HOUSE, SO THEY JUST, UH..."

"Just what? Sat on the backburner in your mind? Just didn't matter? What can you possibly say to not make yourself look like a gigantic asshole?" you shouted, jabbing your finger into Black's chest. "Nothing, nothing at all. You left them to drown and then I came along - someone completely random! - and helped _me_! When they needed to be helped, they offered it instead. How could you just leave someone like that to rot?" Black was silent for a moment, brows furrowed in thought until he clucked his tongue and fixed you with a contempt stare. 

"HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT WE DIDN'T WANT TO GET MAIMED? DIDN'T WANT TO GET DUSTED?" Black snuffed," IF YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH, YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED WHAT THEIR UNIVERSE WAS LIKE." 

"Yeah, they ate people, big deal," you mumbled. "Survivors of plane crashes and the like have had to resort to cannibalism just to stay alive. From what they've told me, they didn't have much of a choice. Neither did Sans or Papyrus, so does that sound like they deserve to be under house arrest?" Black glanced at Sans and Papyrus, then to Doughboy and Cheesepuff. Doughboy still had the occasional tear trickling down his cheekbones and there was this crazed twinkle in his eyes that made Black shudder. When Black looked back at your face, your expression was almost enough to make him bite his own tongue and swallow it. 

"Come on, Blackie," you hastily whispered," Don't tell me you actually agree with that. Some part of you must know that it was wrong!" Black inhaled and opened his mouth to speak, but for once, found that his words were lost. He knew that what they had done was wrong and that maybe it was a harsh punishment, but seeing Sans and Papyrus covered in blood and in tattered clothing, it had almost made sense at the time. Black tapped his foot and focused on the ceiling, feeling the emotions swell in him because he felt _bad_. He was cruel and scary, he wasn't going to cry like a little baby right now. He refused. 

"Look at them, Blackie," you spoke softly, but demandingly. "They didn't deserve that. Whatever let them come into this universe thought they deserved a second chance, so why did you let Doughboy deny them that? Why did you go along with it?" Black didn't look at Sans or Papyrus, knowing that if he let himself slip up like that, he would lose it and start bawling. His soul was still throbbing from whatever Doughboy had experienced mere minutes ago, which meant he couldn't let the grip on the rein of his emotions fumble. 

"IT'S TOO LATE NOW, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE," Black stated rudely, his tone cold and you distinctly realized he had shunned away from his conscious. "WHAT'S BEEN DONE HAS BEEN DONE, YOU GOT TO DECK RUST _AND_ DOUGHBOY, SO YOU CAN LEAVE NOW." Black turned tail to retreat but you reached forward, grasped his right humerus to stop him and tugged it slightly to get him to look back at you. When he finally did, Black just about broke. 

"No, I can't just leave," you interjected," not when justice is right at my fingertips. Listen to me, help me, please. I don't know who you are and I don't know your universe was like, but at the core, are you still not a Sans? Have you no compassion?" Black blanched. 

"I AM A SANS, YES," he sounded like a broken record almost, or like he wasn't used to admitting that he was Sans. It made you feel just the tiniest bit of sympathy for all of the Sanses in the room that wasn't Doughboy. Just how often had they had to deny their true identity just to satisfy him? 

"Then help me help you," you pleaded. "What do you have to lose?" Black scrutinized your face thoroughly, memorizing every single feature about you and then looked over your shoulder. He watched Papyrus wring his hands together nervously and vibrate all jittery in place, watched Sans fold in on himself and refuse to meet anyone's gaze, red orb all shifty as he scanned his surroundings. Black, seeing the image of them first appearing in this universe looking all scary and terrifying flash before his eyes, realized that they weren't deadly anymore. Could they be dangerous need be? Probably. Right now, anxious and shuffling their feet because they didn't want to be stuck in here with the other versions of themselves? Probably not. 

Coming to a conclusion and sighing, Black closed his eyes.

"ALL RIGHT, I'LL HELP YOU," Black said, directing a glare towards Doughboy. "TO BE HONEST, I WAS GETTING PRETTY TIRED OF HIM ANYWAY." Black offered his left hand and you grinned, accepting it and shaking. 

"Good," and with that, Black released your hand and backed off completely. Dodger, who had stood behind you the entire time to make sure you weren't going to harm Black, disappeared and reappeared by his brother's side. Dodger tilted his head quizzically at Black, who just waved his hand dismissively and chose to not respond. You nodded in respect to Black before spinning around to Cheesepuff and Doughboy, glaring down at them over your nose and sniffing. Cheesepuff furrowed his brows together but didn't say anything, waiting for you to speak and Doughboy only hiccupped. 

"Hey, Cheesepuff, you don't really look like you've done anything too terrible, so could you let your brother up?" you gestured towards Doughboy. "I promise, I'm not going to hurt him anymore. I just wanna talk to him." Cheesepuff observed your stance, seeing how submissive and compromisingly you presented yourself before them and stood. His brother stumbled a bit and Cheespuff wrapped both of his arms around Doughboy's waist to steady him, pursing his teeth at you. 

"I MEAN, WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY NEED TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT THAT WE DIDN'T HEAR YOU SAY TO BLACK?" Cheesepuff then faltered, "WAIT, DID YOU JUST CALL ME 'CHEESEPUFF'?" You nodded at him, pointing at Doughboy. 

"Yeah, had to come up with some to go along with what I call your bro," you chirped. "Which is one of the things I want to talk to you about: the two of you don't need to just go by your own names anymore." Cheesepuff blinked like a deer in the headlights. 

"WHY NOT? THOSE ARE OUR NAMES, AFTER ALL." Cheesepuff honorably inquired and you stretched your arms out, shook your head, shrugged, and smirked. 

"Because everyone in here is either called 'Sans' or 'Papyrus', so it's not fair that you're the only ones who still get to go by that," you answered. "I know that this is technically _your_ universe, but it's just not fair that you don't get a nickname, too." Cheesepuff seemed to reflect over your words, rubbing his chin in thought while he quirked a brow and stared up at the ceiling. 

"I GUESS THAT'S FAIR!" Cheesepuff hummed delightfully, a carefree smile plastered across his face. "I ACTUALLY KIND OF LIKE THE NICKNAME 'CHEESEPUFF'! IT REALLY DEMONSTRATES MY COLOR PALETTE, I THINK." A part of you deadpanned and you turned to face the camera like you were in The Office, shaking your head ever so slightly as you realized just how much alike Cheesepuff was to your Papyrus. Pushing that thought back down, you continued. 

"And we need to think of better nicknames for my Sans and Papyrus that _aren't_ what Rust decided they are," you glared daggers at Rust's limp body and he twitched, feeling it even in his punch-induced sleep. "Then, we need to discuss your treatment of them and change up some of the rules around here." You glanced back to Cheesepuff, noticing that Doughboy had pushed himself off of his brother and was standing on his own two feet, albeit he wobbled uneasily. He lifted his skull by a fraction of an inch, eyes twinkling with a madness that would have made you shiver if you weren't trying to be a Big Girl Trademark and stand your ground. You squared up with Doughboy, ready to protect your Sans and Papyrus and fight with all your fury and might to make sure they receive justice. Doughboy waved your stance off slightly, this aloof aura surrounding him and eyes that were looking at you but were seeing right through you like you weren't even there. 

"who...who do you think we are to just 'change' some of the rules around here?" Doughboy chuckled almost sinisterly. "and don't just repeat what you said to black, i won't take those for an answer. you have no jurisdiction here. they don't concern you." 

"You apparently already know who I am," you warbled out, taken aback a bit. He sounded so deranged, so no longer in this reality. It was kind of spooky. Tempted to turn around to Sans and Papyrus to ask them what they thought about it, you had to quell that urge and stay facing Doughboy. His eye-sockets were really wide, like two moons. Those iconic, white eye-lights were smaller than pinpricks and you had to squint to be able to see them vibrating. 

"yeah, (name), whatever," Doughboy spat. "so you don't matter, you don't get to decide what we do with them. this is my universe and they're intruding." His words shook you so badly that you couldn't stop the gasp that escaped you, hands shooting up to cover your mouth. It wasn't necessarily his words, but his tone. It was like getting stung by a wasp, bit by a snake, or whacking your pinkie toe on a table leg. Doughboy, not only looking the part of appearing aloof and cold, was also acting it. 

"Oh, my God. Yeah, I know that this isn't their universe," you started, emotions rising, " but that doesn't mean you have to treat them as pests." Doughboy shrugged, rolling his head and left shoulder together at the end. One of his eye-sockets twitched, almost as if he was aware of what he was saying and regretted it, but refused to take it back. 

"then get out of here," Doughboy finished. "you have no reason to be here. get your dogs and leave." Though you frowned and glared at what he just called Sans and Papyrus, you weren't going to leave their business unfinished. You needed to get Doughboy to listen to you, but you're not really sure how you could manage that. He seemed cut off and didn't want to carry on this conversation anymore, so if you were going to refute, you've gotta say something good enough that it'll make him hear you out. Furrowing your brows in thought, you reflected over what Doughboy was saying. Even though Sans and Papyrus had recently become very close to you, Doughboy doesn't care about that bond apparently. 

Then it hit you. 

Monsters were acute to souls and the two of them were your soulmates! Maybe if you tell him that, he'll actually listen to what you have to say. Black already said he was going to help you out, so even if this didn't work, he might sneak behind Doughboy's back to make sure Sans and Papyrus get help. Steeling yourself and making hard eye-contact with Doughboy, you inhaled as you tried to work up the nerves to admit it. This might go horribly, good, or have no effect whatsoever. But the only thing you can do is try. 

"No," you almost stuttered out, voice low. "My reason to be here is clear and I have every right to demand it." Doughboy jerked at your words, a scowl crossing his expression and this animalistic noise reverberated in his throat. 

"what?" Doughboy grumbled. "tell me. now." Closing your eyes and placing both of your hands on your hips, you calmed your breathing before speaking. This isn't bad, there's nothing inherently wrong with admitting that they're your soulmates. Yet, that pit in your stomach made you uneasy and a bad feeling about this bubbled. Why though? Knowing that you needed to crack Doughboy to progress, you ignored the gut feeling and let the beans spill. 

"Because we're _soulmates_." 

The entire atmosphere of the room shifted and it felt like ghosts were tracing all over your skin, letting goosebumps rise in their wake. Everyone was staring at the two of you and you're pretty sure you heard Sans and Papyrus choke on their own spit. Doughboy also looked like he had just been stabbed in the gullet, too. It was so silent that you would be able to hear a pen drop, but nobody said anything. Even though this made you really uncomfortable, you refused to let your gaze waver. Doughboy finally composed himself and his shifty eyes flung around in his sockets, trying to tell if this was real or not. 

"wh-what did you just say?" Doughboy asked, every bone in his body trembling. You swallowed thickly. 

"I said that we were soulmates," you echoed. "I have a right to demand better living conditions for them because of that. I deserve to be here right now." Doughboy's trembling increased and he glanced back at Sans and Papyrus, a cruel smile twisting up the corners of his mouth. 

"this is a joke," he refused to believe it. "it has to be. humans don't understand the complexity of souls. you're lying, you're a liar. get out of here." You shook your head, staying glued in place. 

"I"m not lying and this isn't a joke," you calmly stated. "We really are soulmates, the three of us. There's a little string connecting us, they showed me." Whatever effect your statement had on Doughboy, the reaction it triggered didn't comfort you at all. He buried his face into one of his hands, a low chuckle rumbling from him until it snapped into full-blown laughter. It wasn't a comical or light-hearted laugh either, it was delusional. Your eyes widened slightly as you realized that he was _insane in the membrane._

Just what happened to him during that seizure that made him act like this? He appeared so collected and calculated before, yet now he's lost it. Cheesepuff took a step away from him, though concerned for everyone's well-being, had never seen this side of his brother and it alarmed him. 

"oh, that's **_gold_** ," Doughboy heaved, a few tears now escaping him and streaming down his cheekbones. You glanced at the other skeletons in the room and saw that they were all backing away slowly, Black gesturing for you to do the same. Refocusing your attention on Doughboy, you noticed that his state of mind seemed to be steadily decreasing by the second and you decided you _should_ probably move away from him. Lifting your leg and leaning back to inch away, you weren't even able to begin skedaddling before something pierced through your chest. 

You emitted a choked gasp and your pupils darted downward, noticing that there was this baby blue bone jutting out from the dead center. Though you weren't too familiar with monster magic, you knew that this color meant that you couldn't move - not unless you wanted to deal damage to your HP. Swallowing and trying to shift your balance to the other leg because if you moved to set your foot down, it might be enough to trigger the attack. Doughboy walked towards you, that insane glint sparkling in his eyes and the twitching features did _not_ keep you from hyperventilating. You didn't know how powerful his attacks were and you didn't want to accidentally shatter your own soul, so you couldn't move. Just forced to stay in place and wait for Doughboy to do whatever he wanted. 

He stopped just short of you, just staring at your face with his hand outstretched. You whimpered and closed your eyes, afraid that you might have made a mistake by coming in here swinging fists first because now you were definitely going to get it. Sending up a silent prayer that it wasn't too bad and hoping that maybe, just maybe, one of the other skeletons in the room would show mercy and intervene. However, from the scuttling noises you heard moving further away from Doughboy, you realized that he apparently was not a force to be reckoned with.

And you've already reckoned with him. 

It was really tense for a few more agonizingly fleeting seconds before you felt his phalanges brush against your cheek softly. Cracking open an eye and looking at him, you were even more frozen than before. Though his eye-lights were still vibrating, they had morphed into tiny little hearts. His thumb rubbed circles into your skin and you choked up, now absolutely terrified. You would rather he just kill you instead of doing _this_. 

Doughboy did this just for another moment before he removed his hand, touched his face with that same hand, and then disappeared. 

The bone came along with it, allowing you to finally relieve the cramps that had formed in your other leg by setting the one poised in the air back on the ground. Pivoting around to the other skeletons in the room and seeing their shocked and confused expressions only made you draw back into your shoulders in utter bewilderment, wanting to know what in the hell just happened. No one really had any words, but Cheesepuff shook his head and cleared his throat before talking. 

"WELL, THAT SURE WAS SOMETHING, WASN'T IT?" He tried to lighten the mood and you slowly swiveled your head around to look at him, gaping like a fish. 

"What the fuck," was the only thing you could say. "H-has he ever done something like that before?" You inquired, hoping to at least alleviate the migraine that was throbbing its way to your temples. Doughboy, though not that innocent, just absolute lost control and you're still caught in the throes of fear residing from that encounter. You hope he never does something like that ever again. 

"NOT THAT I'VE EVER SEEN, NO," Cheesepuff answered. Black glanced around, Blue blinked a few times, Stretch and Dodger shared a glance, and the edgy Papyrus - you had picked up that he went by Edge - stomped his foot.

"AND I HOPE WE NEVER SEE IT AGAIN BECAUSE THAT WAS HORRIFYING," Edge commented, receiving a few nods in agreement and you just shuddered. 

"I," you began and stopped, trying to form a coherent thought. "Listen, I don't really want to be in here any longer, so can we just discuss some new terms for my boys and get out of here? Maybe later we can rationally discuss what we just witnessed, but I wanna go home." Everyone shifted their attention to you, so you swallowed down your emotions and irrational thoughts. 

"I SUPPOSE!" Cheesepuff chirped. "THOUGH I MAY HAVE TO GO OVER IT WITH SA- I MEAN, DOUGHBOY! BUT AFTER WHAT WE JUST SAW, I THINK YOU MAY HAVE JUST WON OVER HIS FAVOR AND HE'LL LISTEN TO YOU." Ignoring the last part of his sentence, you nodded and stepped towards Sans and Papyrus so that they could confirm with you while you spoke. 

"First order of business," you began," let them leave the forest. It's not fair that, apparently, you guys are able to free roam and go out to see the surface, yet they're not allowed to." Cheesepuff nodded, giving you a thumbs-up. 

"CAN DO! AS LONG AS WE MAKE UP SOME NICKNAMES FOR THEM TO GO BY SO OUTSIDE PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE WHAT'S GOING ON." Cheesepuff reminded. 

"We'll get to that after we negotiate," you finalized. "Next, their food rations need to be upped. Don't think I haven't noticed that they barely have any food any time I come around, I'm not stupid." Once again, a nod of confirmation. 

"I THOUGHT THAT WAS A LITTLE RIDICULOUS MYSELF!"

"Finally, they need help, so you're going to let me take them to receive help, okay?" you said, glancing back at Papyrus and Sans to make sure they were okay with everything you've said thus far. The two of them beamed at you, the biggest smiles etched into their skulls and glowing blushes streaking their cheekbones. When you looked at Cheesepuff, he was mirroring their smiles and bobbed his head excitedly. 

"SURE! WOWIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE _MY_ SOULMATE IS SO THOUGHTFUL AND CARING!" He whooped and you blinked, once again deciding to ignore what he had just said because you didn't want to be here any longer. A weird feeling clouded you, made you feel like you were being watched and that every word you said was being recorded to be on repeat. You groaned quietly and a frown pinched your mouth, but you tried to focus on how victorious you felt for finally getting Sans and Papyrus was they deserve. 

The world. 

Well, or, at least, a better quality of life. You spun around to face them, expression still uneasy but you quickly wiped it away and leaned closer to them. Papyrus was bouncing in place and reached for your hands and laced them together, practically gushing. Sans had this cute twinkle in his red orb that made you feel warm, even if he didn't really say or do anything. 

"THANK YOU SO SO MUCH, (NAME)! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DAY ACTUALLY CAME!" You giggled with Papyrus, feeling those happy emotions slowly replacing all of the negative ones and felt yourself jitter in place with him. 

"Paps, hunny, you don't have to thank me," you whispered out to him and you heard Sans chuckle. 

"'course we did," he said. "no one else was gonna do it." You smiled and shrugged it off, feeling multiple pairs of eyes on your frame and you angled your head towards the other skeletons. Some of them were looking at you quizzically, with their brows arched and teeth pursed. The others, however, were clapping their hands together and staring down at you in excitement. You're not really too sure how to read that, so you instead focus on the ground and hummed. 

"So about those nicknames," you changed the subject and saw Cheesepuff deflate slightly. He shook it off and immediately bounced back up, turning towards Sans and Papyrus. 

"RIGHT! SO RUST ORIGINALLY CALLED YOU 'AXE' AND 'CROOKS', CORRECT?" They nodded at him, grimacing. "OKAY! THEN WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?" Cheesepuff was now also paying attention to you as if you already knew exactly what to call them but your face just sort of morphed into the Easter Island Head for a hot second. Well, you honestly didn't think you would get this far and you never really came up with any sort of nicknames for them. 

Sans and Papyrus also made the same face and shared a glance, then looked at you. It was this awkward staring contest for a few moments and silence settled upon the three of you. You glanced Papyrus up and down, trying to decide what exactly would fit him. He was tall, intimidating, and broken, but he was kind and soft. His outward appearance definitely didn't reflect his personality, which made a couple of words come to mind. Tatters, Sweets, and then, it clicked. 

"Oh, this one is so cute!" You suddenly exclaimed, snapping Papyrus and Sans out of their reverie and they cocked their heads questioningly at you. "So, get this: Paps, how do you like being called Teddy?" Papyrus blinked animatedly at you for a second, bone-brows furrowing as he thought the name over and it clicked. Though his appearance was scary and terrifying like a wild grizzly, Papyrus was just about as fluffy as a teddy bear plushie. Literal stars appeared in his eyes as he gasped, covered his mouth, and quietly squealed.

"I LOVE IT!" he shouted. "IT'S SO CUTE AND IT'S MADE BETTER BECAUSE _YOU_ WERE THE ONE WHO THOUGHT OF IT." Papyrus sprang forward and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close and burying his face in the nook of your neck. You could feel his breathy giggles tickle across your neck and you patted his back, return his gratitude. 

"Thanks for making me feel special," you joked and then looked at Sans. Somewhere along the line, maybe whenever you had the two of them convinced that you were about to blow this popsicle stand, Sans had donned his frog gloves and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. You stared into the obnoxiously big, round, and bulging eyes as something clicked and you popped up. 

"Hey, Sans, I've got an idea but I don't know how you're going to like it," you drawled out, glancing off to the side before meeting his gaze. Sans motioned for you to continue with a wave of his hand and you took a breath through your mouth before speaking. "So, hear me out: Mittens." Sans froze, staring at you wide-eyed before his singular orb glittered. 

"oh, my stars, it's perfect," Sans responded. Black, having been silent this entire time, perked up and stomped his foot. 

"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'MITTENS'? YOU WANT TO CALL THIS BIG, TERRIFYING SANS WHO KILLED PEOPLE _MITTENS_?" Black raged while Sans and you shared a look, smirking. 

"Well, see, it is perfect," you quipped. "Sans likes ironic things and that's ironic." Sans nodded along to your every word, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. He harrumphed before he turned his nose up, skull angled towards the ceiling. 

"you either address me as mittens or i will never respond to you," he stated and Black kind of warbled. His limbs looked like noodles as he flailed and groaned, trying to wrap his head around the new nicknames before he stopped and sighed. 

"ALL RIGHT, FINE, _MITTENS_ ," Black said. You cheered and high-fived Sans, grinning wickedly. Cheesepuff, having watched the entire exchange, also smiled and piped up. 

"WELL, THEN, NOW THAT WE HAVE EVERYTHING SETTLED," Cheesepuff began before turning towards Sans and Papyrus and offering his right hand said," IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, _MITTENS_ AND _TEDDY_!" 


	14. nimm das!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm for real. How many inside jokes/favorite characters can I include before this fanfic either becomes way too self-aware or self-indulgent? Anyhow, you can now find me on Quotev! Please also try to find me on the UT Amino! Your support is always appreciated!!!!!

"I'm not too sure, (Name), but it sounds like you might be able to forge something out of it," Phoenix's voice rang on the other line. "Though you better watch out or you might end up receiving some charges, too. You did punch _two_ monsters." Rolling your eyes and scoffing, you responded. 

"Yeah, well, quote-unquote self-defensive and all," you joked. "They're two separate things! Mine was sparked because of the first crime, I can't get in trouble for that can I?" There was a notepad with various scribbles on it placed on the table in front of you, a couple of printed-out sheets of papers and different indexes of a few well-known prosecutors splayed around the notepad. After a fruitless search of finding any that would take the case of any monster, you suddenly remembered that you knew one already. Then you felt really stupid, so you dialed up the prosecutor's partner - who just so happened to be a close friend of yours. 

"Possibly, but if the case went to court, then we couldn't lie about it," Phoenix mused, "even if we get penalized slightly for it." At this, you messily jotted down that and noted that you should probably come up with some way to not make it seem as bad as it sounds. If you wanted the judge to punish Doughboy, you're going to have to play your cards right. 

"Of course, duh," you quipped. "Wait, does this mean that you're agreeing to help me?" Sitting up excitedly and almost crushing the pen in your hand, you bit your lip and stabbed the pen towards the notepad, only to stop when Phoenix choked up. 

"W-wait! I didn't say that. I was just stating the obvious," Phoenix interjected. "Also, you know that I'm a defense attorney, so I wouldn't be able to help you anyway." You swear you could hear your own heart shatter, then frowned. Leaning back and saddling up close to the couch again, you whined and spoke. 

**_"Beenix, blease,"_** you said quietly. "I know that you can't do the job, but Miles can. Please, could you ask him?" Phoenix hesitated and you knew exactly why. Miles, after having been thrown under the bus a few times in his former years and almost receiving the death sentence when he was innocent, had stepped away from the courtroom. A few years later, after he had returned and Phoenix confessed his feelings to him, the two became a package and Miles then permanently stepped away from prosecuting. 

"(Name), as much as I would love to, you know that he's going back to school to receive a degree in defense," Phoenix muttered, sounding conflicted. "I really want to help and I'm sure he would also want to help you, but it may be too hard for him." It's true. His traumatic past, his abusive adoptive father, and his previous corrupted prosecuting were still very touchy subjects, but you needed this. You knew that Miles would be able to pass a few charges onto Doughboy and then you would not only feel safer in your own home, but it would feel right. Doughboy, although he agreed to lighten the original terms for Mittens and Teddy, still needed to face punishment - not retribution. 

"Beenix, I know and I really hate to do this," you started, "but I believe in Miles. Plus, it would be doing the right thing for my boys. I won't ever ask something like this again, I promise." The line was silent for a long time. Phoenix didn't say anything, but you knew that he was thinking it over. You bit the inside of your cheek worriedly, impatient to hear his response yet dreading it. Finally, after way too much anticipation, Phoenix sighed. 

"All right, I'll go get him. But if he says 'no' then," Phoenix said, "them's the brakes." His tone, though cynical, was protective. You smiled, appreciating Phoenix's consideration of Miles. 

"Okay! Thank you so much, Phoenix," you chirped and hummed, clapping your hands together. He just hummed in response, then there was a shuffling as Phoenix relocated to wherever Miles had couped up. When Phoenix found him, there were muted whisperings and you couldn't pick up what they were saying but you assumed it had to deal with the reason you called. The whispering stopped, then a clambering and, suddenly, a voice. 

"Yes? Edgeworth speaking," Miles' low and smooth tone filled your eardrums and you jerked to attention. 

"Hey, it's (Name), but I'm pretty sure Beenix already told you that," you chuckled when he hummed. 

"He mentioned something about pursuing a case, yes," Miles said. Though you couldn't see his face, you imagined his small, sly smirk he always averted away from whoever he was speaking to at the time. You grinned, also noticing that he wasn't just flat out refusing your request. 

"Cool, okay, so hear me out: I know that you don't want to do any more prosecuting cases but," you paused, trying to find the correct way to word this," these monsters need your help. I need your help, too. They deserve justice and you're the only person who I know personally that would be able to get that." Miles didn't respond right away but he hummed in thought, even if it did sound slightly uncomfortable. 

"I'm aware," Miles said. "Give me a brief synopsis of this case and I'll consider it, deal?" Perking up in both surprise and happiness, you quickly started gushing out your response. 

"Wow! Really? Oh, my God, Miles. You don't understand how much this means to me," you graciously thanked him and Miles only grunted in response. Though disappointed he didn't really verbally answer you, he was shy, so you weren't entirely sure what you expected. "So, it's like this: there's this landlord and he ended up holding a couple of other monsters hostage because of some deformities - which could have been treated with the proper medical care." 

"I heard Phoenix mention that you punched two of them, are these the ones you want to help?" Miles interrupted, merely inquiring and you faltered, but immediately shook it off. 

"Yeah, no. The two I punched was the landlord and another resident that rooms with him," you offered. 

"All right, go on."

"The landlord had originally made these two monsters sign a contract to even live, though he did soften the terms after I punched him," you spewed out, brows furrowing together. "Then he did this really strange thing with me that I don't really want to mention because I don't know if it'll have any bearings on the case." 

"No, I want to know all of it," Miles stopped you. "Tell me what it was." 

"Er, well, jokingly: yandere mode activated," you laughed awkwardly, "seriously: I'm not too sure. Just know that it was crazy weird." 

"I'm also not too sure if it'll help win the case, but at least the facts are all being laid out," Miles answered, sounding mildly confused but obviously trying to mask it. "What else? Who are the two that you're trying to help out?" 

"Their names are San- um, Mittens and Teddy," you sputtered, still trying to get used to how the nicknames felt on your tongue. However, nothing slips by Miles, so he noticed the slight mess up. 

"And those sound totally made up," Miles retorted harshly. "What are their real names?" At this, you went silent. The whole purpose of the nicknames was so that nobody outside of their little clique figured out that several universes had clashed into one and brought several people here, so you've got to think quick. What could you say that Miles might possibly fall for? Eh, here goes nothing. 

"Well, that's the thing, buddy," you drawled out. "I don't think the two of them have official ID cards, so they just go by those nicknames." Miles was quiet, which made you start sweating beads. If he didn't buy that, then you might have to confess the truth - even if it wasn't entirely a lie. 

"Hm, they don't have ID cards, you say?" Miles tsked," then this case might be hard to win. If I decide to take it, then you're going to have to get them some ID cards. Though, good for us, that'll just be more proof that the landlord basically isolated them." You smiled brightly and cradled the phone closer, feeling your nerves buzzing with excitement. 

"I can handle that, don't worry," you assured. "But that's the 'brief synopsis' you wanted. So, Miles, do you need a few days to consider or...?" You were nearly bouncing in your seat in anticipation, sure that Miles would help you because of how earnest the case was, but trying to not get your hopes too high. Even if Miles didn't accept your case and you would have to spend a few more days finding a decent prosecutor, you knew that you would eventually get justice for Mittens and Teddy. And that's the only thing that mattered to you. 

"No need, I know my answer," Miles sighed. "I'll take the case." Almost immediately, you whooped so loudly and jumped up in your seat, pumping your fists into the air. Lost in your celebration, you heard Miles call out for you through the phone and came back down, pressing the phone to your ear once more. 

"Thank you so much, Miles! You're a lifesaver," you chirped. 

"Yes, that I am," Miles chuckled lowly. "When can you come down to the high prosecutor's office? My room should still be opened, luckily for you. They planned on cleaning it out once I turned in my letter of resignation." You tapped your chin in thought, flipping back a couple of pages in your notepad before releasing an 'a-ha'. 

"So tomorrow I'll be taking Teddy to the dentist for his braces," you informed. "Er, I could probably try to swing by the day after that if the dentist doesn't ask me to return then?" MIles hummed in affirmation. 

"That should be fine," he said. "If anything changes, do let me know." 

"Can do! Is there anything else?" you inquired, pen at the ready just in case.

"Well, whenever you come to my office, we will be discussing the case more thoroughly to glance over our weaknesses and strengths," Miles started," then you'll have to go register this 'Mittens' and 'Teddy' up for some identification. Once that's all squared away, bring them back to my office and I'll go over it with them." You nodded along, jotting down his words and then scooting one of the loose-leaf sheets of paper over to you so that you could write down the address of his office and of the police department (which was where monster IDs were usually handled). 

"Sweet!" you grinned. "Miles, once again, I really owe this to ya. You don't understand what it means to me." Considering everything, Miles took the case. You were, certainly, grateful for that. Miles was an amazing prosecutor, even if his beginning was a little bumpy. This case would probably be over day one. 

"Don't thank me yet," Miles reprimanded. "But, you're welcome, (Name). Anything for a friend." Feeling your chest become warmer and the smile now stretching across your face, you closed your eyes and laughed. 

"All right then, Miles," you said. "I'll let you go because I need to call Mittens and Teddy now."

"Take note of all evidence, (Name)," he said. "We can't win this without it. I'll see you soon." You nodded and hummed. 

"Until then, Miles. Tell Phoenix I said goodbye and thanks," and with that, you pulled the phone away from your ear and hung up.

Setting the phone back down on the table, you jotted down the hours Miles worked and reminded yourself that maybe you should try to come into the prosecutor's office rather early as to not keep him waiting. Your brows scrunched up, hands reaching for the extra printed sheets and fingering through them. You found the one over monster IDs, skimming over the page and seeing that each one cost about fifty bucks. Knowing that neither Mittens or Teddy would have that kind of cash, you began rationing out what necessities and utilities you needed to pay this month to make sure you would have the money to spare. After finishing that, you nodded in satisfaction and reached for your phone. Scrolling through the contacts and seeing Teddy's number, you clicked on it and put the call on speaker. It didn't even get to the second ring before you heard him pick up. 

"HELLO, (NAME)! HOW ARE YOU??" Teddy sounded just as jittery and hyped as always, making you grin slightly and bubbling a few chuckles. 

"Hey, Paps," you greeted. "I'm good and I hope you are, too." 

"I AM!!!" 

"Great! Now, I have a few things I need to talk to you about," you started out gently. It had been about two days since the incident with Doughboy and you didn't really get much of a chance to speak with your boys yesterday after they safely returned you home because you were behind a couple of chapters in your book, which ticked your editor off. Thus, you had to sacrifice chatting with them and you're trying to not make Teddy or Mittens feel like it's their fault. 

"OH...OH, OKAY! WHAT GOSSIP ARE WE GOING TO INDULGE IN?" Teddy, though he obviously sounded hesitant and unnerved by your statement, tried his hardest to continue sounding earnest and energetic. Wincing back a little and averting your eyes away from the phone, and looking down at the notepad in your hands, you pursed your lips and began.

"So, since I'm completely oblivious to how you'll actually feel about this," you were going to try to coax this out of him. You already knew exactly how Teddy would feel to have Doughboy end up with a couple of monster cruelty charges slapped onto him, but you didn't want to just scare him away with such a bold statement. He's sensitive, and the courtroom would probably overload his and Mittens' senses, so you want to make this process go as smoothly as possible. "But I have a couple of friends who are willing to help us with something." Teddy hummed on the other end, now intrigued and you're pretty sure you just heard Mittens' gruff mumbling to indicate he had joined the equation. Good, the sooner the two of them can come to a conclusion, the better. 

"HELP US WITH WHAT?" Teddy carefully worded, trying to conceal how piqued his interest really was and trying to sound nonchalant. 

"Help us settle a lawsuit with the landlord," you stated gingerly and sincerely. A gasp sounded off from Teddy's end, which was high-pitched and obviously shocked, so you assumed it was Teddy's reaction. Then, before you were able to continue, there was shuffling and the sound of clacking as bone collided with plastic. More shifting, and then Mittens started talking. 

"yo, what was that cringe you just posted," Mittens bluntly refuted. Grimacing and looking towards your ceiling, you tried to thoroughly word some way to not make Mittens panic and turn away the offer -- especially with Teddy's reaction, something told you that this would be step two to healing. 

"Sans, listen," you addressed him," please, try not to deflect this and cover up with humor. This is really serious, I want to help you and they do, too." You heard Mittens grunt noncommittedly, mostly silent otherwise. Biting the inside of your cheek and furrowing your brows, you pressed further. 

"This also isn't some elaborate prank, I promise you," you pitched up your voice at the end, basically pleading. If Mittens turned this away now, you're not sure if you'll be able to get anywhere with the case. Sure, Teddy would still be able to testify, but without MIttens, he would crumble underneath the pressure. Plus, you _really_ want to make sure Doughboy doesn't try anything weird with you. That encounter unsettled you and you're not stupid, you've read enough bad fanfictions to tell where that might lead. 

"okay, as you wish," came his response. Jolting up slightly and feeling the corners of your mouth tug upwards, eyes crinkling with joy, you started gushing after sighing in relief. 

"Perfect!" you cheered," so I'm friends with this really infamous prosecutor and he can help you out. He actually wasn't taking any cases, and he didn't have to do that, but he did that for us." 

"WHAT A QUAINT GENTLEMAN!" exclaimed Teddy, which made you realize that you were probably put on speaker-phone. "ER, ALSO, WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT WE HAVE TO DO?" You shook your head, not wanting to worry them with all of the trifling details of payment or transportation or whatever might be troubling Teddy.

"Nothing, really," you drew out. "I mean, of course, you'll have to testify and give your accounts of the various cruel things he did to you two, but other than that, don't fret, okay? I'll handle them." 

"are you absolutely positive? i know court proceedings ain't cheap, peaches," you could practically picture the frown forming on his face as Mittens said that. "we don't have any money and we're already indebted to ya as is." Once again, shaking your head and closing your eyes, brows pinching upwards and nose twitching. 

"Sans, yes, I would never hold something like this against you," you blurted out. "You're my friend, and so are you, Teddy. And I want to help my friends, so let me do that by offering this. Please?" The line went dead for a few fleeting seconds and you bit your lip worriedly, afraid that maybe you upset one of them, until Mittens tiredly sighed - a long, deliberate sigh that basically said 'welp, you either die or you die.' 

"do we gotta meet with this prosecutor?" Mittens inquired and you hummed cheerfully. 

"Yeah, I scheduled a meeting with him in two days, after Teddy's dentist appointment tomorrow," you informed them, to which you heard Teddy yelp and clap his hands together excitedly. 

"I FORGOT THAT WAS EVEN HAPPENING WITH ALL OF THE BUZZ FROM CHAPTERS TEN THROUGH THIRTEEN!" Teddy exclaimed you blinked animatedly, deciding to ignore what he just said instead of over-analyzing it. 

"I almost did, too," you said. "But I luckily opened up my little notepad and saw the date! This means that tomorrow, we start with getting to two of you well-deserved help." Teddy whooped and Mittens chuckled, but something clicked in your mind. 

"Wait, hol' up," you interrupted their celebration, kind of scared to voice your question. "Guys, this is your first time actually being able to see the Surface, riiiiight?" You held out the last word, trying to not reduce them to tears, anxiety, or fearing the appointments. Once again, the call was silent, and then Teddy gasped again.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! IT IS OUR FIRST TIME SEEING THE SURFACE," Teddy mused, giggling like a little school girl. "WOWIE! THAT'S AMAZING! I CAN'T WAIT!" Teddy then started spouting off different things that he wanted to do or things he wanted to see, experience, things of that nature. Though you were slightly caught up in his winded narrative, another thing clicked. 

"Woah, get ahold of your horses, Paps," you joked, laughing a little. "I don't think your first time should be tomorrow." You stated, rolling your eyes playful until Teddy and Mittens emitted a warbling noise and a strangled choke respectively. 

"you mean you don't wanna take us anymore? listen, we won't embarrass ya," Mittens rambled. "we can adapt, we can hide our identities if-" Your eyes widened the longer Mittens kept spewing out excuses and pleas, your heart dropping and pitting in your tummy. Wincing again, you interrupted him.

"Sans, I'm sorry, no! That's not what I meant," you tried to soothe them," I just meant we probably should let you guys see the Surface one time before the dentist. If I were to see it for the first time, I'd want it to be special, ya know? Not when I'm going to get my teeth worked on." Teddy released a relieved sigh and Mittens grunted, then fabric shuffled. 

"i - hehehe, sorry, i lost my cool there," Mittens made to apologize but you shook your head.

"Don't apologize, Sans," you stated cooly. "It's really all right, I should have explained myself better." 

"THAT'S ALL RIGHT, TOO! BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TO FIX THE PROBLEM THEN? THE APPOINTMENT'S INEVITABLE! AND IT'S TOMORROW AS WELL!" You rubbed your chin in thought, brow arched. What exactly could you do? Well, you could, theoretically, take Teddy and Mittens outside of the woods _before_ tomorrow. It's technically allowed now, so what's stopping you? That's right. Nothing.

"Well, I've got an idea," you smirked. 

"TELL US!" Teddy urged, hyper and shimmying in place. Mittens' rumbling chuckles resounded from their end, which made you assume he had already pieced your plan together.

"Paps, Sans," you called out," you guys wanna go get some lunch?" 

* * *

Teddy was an absolute ball of nerves beside you, wringing his hands together in anxious excitement and jostling his hips slightly. Mittens stood by your other side, hands stuffed into his pockets and rocking to and fro on the heels of his feet. You had brought them out to the edge of the forest, and now stood on the cusp of trees and asphalt. Earlier, after you called them, you had driven over to the small parking lot that was right beside the park and killed the engine to go retrieve your boys. The entire ride had left you jittery and ready to show them the beauty of the world, making you slightly impatient only just standing between the brothers. 

"YOU KNOW, (NAME)," Teddy whispered steadily, literal stars glittering in his pinprick eye-lights. "I'VE STOOD IN THIS VERY SPOT SO MANY TIMES, BUT I NEVER REALIZED THAT I WOULD ACTUALLY ONE DAY BE ABLE TO GO PAST IT!" Angling your head towards him and grinning, you chuckled a bit, reaching into your pocket and revealing your car keys. 

"Then what are we waiting for?" you quipped cheekily, taking a step forward and gesturing for them to follow your lead. Teddy spared a quick glance over his shoulder, gauging for Mittens' reaction because he was so nervous about this. Mittens, noticing his brother's slight discomfort and pounding heartbeat, shrugged and stepped out of the woods. Though he previously tried to portray this aura and exterior that basically screamed 'cool dude' while he acted aloof and reserved about this, you saw him lock up in place the moment he stood beside your car. 

Mittens was shivering, hands trembling when he withdrew them from his pockets to open the door, breathing labored. You paused, quirking a brow and leaning towards him, one hand placed on his shoulder to ground him. Inhaling sharply and darting that singular maroon orb towards you questioningly, your eyes checked on Teddy - who was currently opening the shotgun door and clambering inside - before refocusing on Mittens. 

"Sans, what's wrong?" you dipped your voice down into a whisper, mumbling discreetly against Mittens' skull just to make sure nothing sparked with Teddy. "You're shaking badly. Do we need to go back?" Mittens violently shook his head, momentarily catching you off-guard, which made you rear your head back a couple of inches. Head now facing you, Mittens stared intently at you.

**"no,** we don't need to do that," he rumbled, coaching his voice back to normal after the slight warble. "just...just _really_ relate to what paps said." Shuttering your eyelids and glancing down to your feet, you nodded understandingly. Of course, Mittens would feel this way. No matter what kind of air he tried to give off, this was like a dream come true. 

"Okay, but please let me know if this starts to overwhelm you, will you?" you almost begged, a nagging part in your brain fretting over this whole ordeal because you really did want this to be something special for them. Mittens barely acknowledged you, although you knew he was going to heed your concern, and opened the door and messily sauntered inside. You made sure he had fully closed the door before you boarded the driver's side, quickly glancing at all of your mirrors and adjusting the rear-view to accommodate for Mittens' lumbering and stocky form after buckling yourself. 

You stuck the keys into the ignition and turned, the vehicle sputtering and rumbling to life. Placing your hands correctly onto the wheel, you scanned over your friends' forms to make sure they were safely secured. Mittens had gotten the gist, tugging on the seatbelt and stretching it around him to click it into the lock. Teddy, on the other hand, was devoid of one. Cocking your head to the side, one brow arched and your lips pursed. 

"Paps, hun, you need to fasten yourself up," you said quietly and gingerly, watching Teddy spring up slightly and rub the back of his neck awkwardly. There was a tangerine orange blush powdering his cheekbones and, within a second, you realize he was ashamed. 

"WELL, SEE, THE THING IS THAT I HONESTLY TRIED, I PROMISE," Teddy paused, clearing his throat and refusing to meet your gaze. "BUT THEN I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW IT WORKED OR WHERE IT EVEN WENT BECAUSE IN ALL OF THE MOVIES IT JUST SORT OF DISAPPEARS, YOU KNOW? SO, I, UM, DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING." Blinking once, a small smile graced your lips and you released a loving hum. This piqued Teddy enough so that he turned his skull fully towards you, watching as you leaned over the armrests and grasped for the belt behind Teddy. Yanking the belt around his sternum, your free hand nudged his right leg a couple of centimeters to reveal the lock and placing it in, Teddy was finally buckled. 

"If you needed assistance, you could have told me," you breathlessly giggled, hands wrapped around the wheel until you clucked your tongue. "Also, I almost forgot something..." Trailing off, you completely missed the skull totally ablaze in a luscious shade of orange, Teddy's teeth forming an 'o' and eye-sockets crinkling. Teddy managed to shake off the shocked expression just in time to watch you pop the glove box open and reach inside, scrambling through the various items until you tugged something out. Slamming the glove box closed and turning to Mittens, you smirked. 

Balled in your fist was a piece of black cloth. The two brothers trailed their eye-lights over the fabric, trying to figure out exactly what it was -- especially with those two weird proboscises jutting out from the top and the two yarn-knit tendrils with those puffy balls at the end wriggling and undulating. Whatever it was, it was horrifying. 

"Here you go, Mittens," you snickered. "A little gift to cover that hole. I know you don't like attention on you, so I figured this _might_ help." Hesitating, Mittens carefully reached forward and grappled for the cloth, tugging it free from your hold and finally seeing that it was actually a beanie. Holding it up and inspecting it fully, he was finally able to see that written across the top piece in brilliant white text was 'OwO'.What he originally thought were proboscises were actually cat ears, with little white insides. The undulating tendrils were actually just thick strings that protruded from the earpieces. Mittens proudly nodded his head and closed his eyes, teeth pursing out. 

"It's _beautiful_ ," was his response. Mittens slipped the beanie over his skull, mindful of the gaping hole, and held out his arms in a presenting manner. He whispered 'ta-da' and you clapped, but Teddy could only muster up a deadpan and a shake of his skull. 

"THOUGH I CARE DEEPLY FOR YOU BOTH," Teddy sighed," THAT'S AN IMAGE FOREVER BURNED INTO MY MIND." You and Mittens shared a few haughty snickers, but that quickly died down whenever your brows furrowed and you smacked your lips in dissatisfaction. 

"You know, now that we're here," you started," I'm not actually really sure where it is we should go to eat." 

"HUH, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT," Teddy rubbed his chin," YOU'RE RIGHT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS IN MIND?" Teddy inquired and you grunted, propping your elbow onto the steering wheel and resting your head in that hand. 

"I mean, to be honest, I don't really care," you said. "So if you guys want to get some lunch and then maybe some ice-cream, we can. Or if you wanna switch that order up, that works, too. Dessert first isn't bad, wink wink." 

"'m cool with ice-cream," Mittens interjected, just getting his word out there because his third eye has been opened by this possibility. 

"YES, WHILE THAT IS TRUE," Teddy shot a hard glare at Mittens," WE NEED TO TRY TO BE HEALTHIER, RIGHT? SO WE SHOULD HAVE LUNCH FIRST!" You nodded, lifting your head a bit. 

"All right, but what should we do is the question," you spewed out exasperatedly. "Like, we could get some fast food, but I kind of want to take you guys somewhere nice. I mean, nugs before drugs, you know? But no McD's."

"there any burger joints nearby?" Mittens queried and you opened your mouth to inform him that, indeed, there were several until Teddy jolted and balled his fists. 

"WE ARE NOT EATING THAT, PLEASE!" he angrily waved his fists, shaking his head. "I'M KIND OF INTERESTED IN MORE HUMAN FOODS, SINCE WE'RE ON THE SURFACE NOW." Directing your attention to Teddy, your forehead scrunched up. 

"What kind of foods have you never tried before?" Teddy averted his eye-lights, pressing the tips of his index phalanges together and pouting. 

"I KNOW THIS ISN'T EXACTLY HEALTHY, BUT I REALLY LIKE THE IDEA OF IT," Teddy grumbled. "AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE ONLY THING I WANT TO TRY BUT!!! UM, COULD WE, ER, GET SOME 'PIZZA'?" Though your jaw dropped in agape horror, you quickly tried to shake it off and clinked your teeth shut. Sparing a glance at Mittens, you watched him shrug and hold his palms up submissively. Flinging your irises back to Teddy, you reanimated and responded. 

"Oh, my God, yes," you killed the idling engine by switching gears, feet on the pedals and hands on the wheel," you guys have never tried pizza before?" Mittens inched himself closer to the door, hand pressing against the window as he watched you carefully back up before he answered.

"wasn't really a thing in the underground," Mittens stated easily, almost like he didn't really understand the true, sweet blessings of the gracious Papa John's nectar. "paps has been looking at human food almost non-stop since he met you, begging doughboy to get us some, but eh. so that means i'm up for anything, tbh." Feeling the spirit of Miles Edgeworth materialize within your being, you tsked and smirked.

"Ohh, then you guys are in for a treat," you said. When you pressed down on the gas and the vehicle jerked everyone back, Teddy gripped the dashboard and Mittens' eye-light almost bulged out of his eye-socket. 

_"W-WAIT, (NAME), S-SLOW DOWN!"_

_"dear father, thou art in heaven - "_


	15. wie läuft deine pizza?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm back! I took a two-week break so that I could write my Halloween special! That's finished and posted, so you guys can go check that out. We finally get well-deserved bonding with the boys!

"E,"

was the only thing Mittens could manage once the vehicle pulled to a stop, all but melting from the now slightly ajar door. Teddy, on the other hand, still had some dignity left and exited in a fashioned manner. You killed the engine, briefly glancing in the rearview mirror and seeing Mittens' splayed body. Sighing quietly, you opened the door and - being mindful of the scattered bones pooling around the car - joined the brothers.

"You know, Sans, I wasn't even going thirty miles an hour," you commented, pushing yours and Mittens' door closed. His legs clattered to the hard asphalt, emitting what sounded like a mixture between a strangled groan and mumbled Vengaboys lyrics under his breath. Teddy stalked around the side of the car, eye-sockets narrowing at Mittens, and scoffed.

"SERIOUSLY, SANS, YOU TOOK THAT LIKE A TOTAL VIRGIN," Teddy rolled his pinprick eye-lights, stepping for his brother and swooping down, hands hooking underneath Mittens' armpits and lifting. Mittens softly wailed, weakly kicked his legs out, and his skull lolled over towards your general direction. You blinked, locking the car and stuffing your keys into your pockets, and smacked your lips a couple of times.

"that's why we should've had a safe word, paps," Mittens grumbled, standing properly on two feet again, although he wobbled and lurched occasionally. Teddy released his grip on Mittens, flat-out ignoring him, and turned to you. He stared down expectantly, hands now clasped together, the corners of his mouth stretching out across his features and puffing out the apples of his face. Teddy was basically vibrating, refusing to look anywhere but at you, trying to contain his excitement for being on the Surface. Smiling, noticing that Mittens had mostly regained his cool, nonchalant composure and was sharing the same buzz, you started walking and gestured for them to follow.

"Okay, now that we've established that Sans is _babey_ , let's head to Papa John's!" you exclaimed excitedly, feeling Teddy skip and wiggle right on up next to your left side. Mittens lagged behind, like usual, but there was this shy grin creeping up his features.

"OOH! I'VE BEEN SO READY FOR THIS," Teddy rubbed his palms together, taking the time to sweep his eye-lights across the parking lot. "IS THIS WHAT THE 'DOWNTOWN' LOOKS LIKE?" Teddy asked, having never seen more than the two parking places and the various apartment complexes or houses that the three of you drove past on your way here. It must have seemed like a huge letdown, surrounded by a bunch of cars and stuck inside a dinky cellar of sorts - the parking house definitely wouldn't be what you first imagined the real world to look like. You shook your head, unable to fight back the giddy feelings that seemed almost contagious, and pointed outwards.

"No, we're not there yet," you explained, "I had to find a place that had free parking, ya dig? So we've gotta walk the rest of the way." Teddy nodded, drinking in the sights before him and grinning with an open-mouth, absolutely astonished -even if it wasn't much, it must be better than constantly being surrounded by trees. Mittens was scanning the place, maroon orb dilating and hands trembling. They looked like two kids inside of a candy shop and you were totally living for it, relief washing over you that the two of them were finally set free. _It felt good,_ you internally mused, smirking in reflection.

For the rest of the walk across the parking house, you felt lightheaded, like you were walking on a cloud. There was this flitting feeling inside of your heart, happy for the brothers, and you couldn't wait to push that door open and reveal the true surface to them. And after what seemed like an eternity, the three of you halted in front of the clunky, metal door. You held up an index finger, sliding on the soles of your shoes over to a machine that printed out tickets, pressed a couple of buttons and printed one out. Spinning back around to the boys, now ready to leave, you made a sweeping motion with your free hand to indicate that they were free to open the door on their own accord.

Mittens hesitated, hand outstretched before it flopped back down to his side, glancing at his brother. Teddy gulped, slid his slit eye-lights over to the door and gently clenched his teeth shut, and released an airy 'nyeh, heh, heh'. Reaching an arm out and placing it on the mechanical push-in handle, Teddy spared you one last look, afraid.

"(NAME)," he started and paused, sucking in air through his teeth," ARE YOU SURE THIS IS OKAY? I MEAN, WE COULD ALWAYS TURN AROUND AND COME BACK ANOTHER TIME! THAT WAY WE'D HAVE MORE PREP AND THEN MAYBE WE WOULDN'T LOOK SO HIDEOUS - I MEAN, I'M GORGEOUS, OF COURSE, BUT ... SANS! SANS ISN'T, SO WE COULD TRY AGAIN - " Teddy was rambling, gushing out all of his emotions and feelings in one go, and you gingerly placed a hand atop his and smiled sweetly. He was nervous, that was obvious. Mittens was, too. The other skeletons must have left more than just a few psychological marks on them, especially with nicknames that were like a constant reminder to how monstrous the two of them appeared. Feeling this sinking in your chest and fighting back a frown, you mustered up the most saccharine tone and eased Teddy through this.

"Hun, it's going to be fine," your eyes crinkled closed, "I think the two of you look awesome enough to do this. You're ready, Paps. I promise." Teddy met your gaze, breath stolen from him, and the two of you stared intently into each other's eyes for a long time. Then, his tensed shoulder slumped, finally breathing again as he shut his eyes.

"ALL RIGHT, I ... I TRUST YOU," Teddy stated, while you nodded and your hand fell off his. "WE CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS." Teddy, having finally found the resolve in him, pushed the door open.

And the two of them gasped.

Downtown was usually buzzing to life, cars and monsters and people whizzing about as they went upon their daily lives, life ticking by. Teddy stepped out of the park-house, looking left and right as his brain tried to comprehend the sheer magnitude of it all. Mittens, wide-eyed and mouth slightly parted, stood stock still in the threshold, door propped against his foot. It must have seemed strange, like losing the weight of shackles pressing against your wrists and able to take your life into your own hands.

You carefully nudged Mittens in the side, trying to edge him forward and he stumbled, regaining his balance once he stood beside his brother. The door closed behind the three of you audibly, ringing out, as you observed the two brothers watching everything like a couple of hawks and processing the Surface. Teddy was drawn to how different each person looked, studying their faces or memorizing the vehicles they stepped into. He was amazed by the glittery surfaces, or how the architecture was so drastically different from all of the buildings and places in the Underground. He grinned, unable to tear his eyes away from it all.

Turning your attention to Mittens and expecting to see the same reaction, you were thoroughly surprised. Mittens, however, still seemed amazed by the flora and fauna. He followed each dog on a walk with their owner, head bobbing along to their hyped gaits until they disappeared from sight, before watching the various insects whirling around the bushes and plants and the quaint water fountain near your group.

"WOWIE!" Teddy yelped, unable to say anything else, and shimmied in place.

"You guys like it?" you cheekily grinned, feeling that warmth spread across your chest once more whenever the two of them dipped their skulls in response.

"i ain't got any words to describe it," Mittens mumbled, one hand stuffed in his pocket and the other twirled one of the strings from the beanie around. Teddy finally looked away, glancing at his brother and then to you.

"I AGREE! SEEING IT ON TV DID GIVE ME SOME SORT OF IDEA AS TO WHAT I WOULD BE LIKE, BUT," Teddy paused, trying to collect his thoughts before he continued, "BUT IT DOESN'T BEAT SEEING IT IN PERSON!" You couldn't deny that, realizing that you couldn't imagine never doing normal stuff like take a relaxing bath after a stressful day or being able to slurp up spicy Chinese noodles and feel the soy droplets splatter on the bottoms of your cheeks or go down one of the scorching hot metal slides in the summertime and scream as your skin is melted off - only able to watch it on television. The mere thought of it made you shudder.

"Yeah, nothing beats seeing it _in the flesh,_ " you smirked, waving your arms around to make them jiggle and Mittens snickered, victorious in Teddy's wail of anguish. Teddy then released a deep sigh, body slouching forward and arms limply dangling at his sides, as he nodded - realizing that he shouldn't have expected anything different from you and his brother.

"REALLY, GUYS? A BAD PUN, IN FRONT OF THE SURFACE?" Mittens shot Teddy a shit-eating grin, eye-lights spinning and looking up to the sky while he shrugged.

"sorry, paps, that one wasn't me, though," Mittens completely threw you under the bus, his smirk spreading as he watched your mortified expression whenever Teddy clucked his tongue and focused his gaze on you instead. You gasped, offended.

"What zhe - " you pivoted around on your heel like Phoenix Wright coming face to face with 'WHAT'CHA NAYMU?' and fixed Mittens with a betrayed expression, clutching your chest. "That was literally, I think, the first-ever pun I've made in your presence and this is how you treat me?" Mittens, once again, shrugged.

"you know what they say," and with that, Mittens walked off. You and Teddy shared a look before you yelled, arms flailing and chasing after Mittens. Teddy blinked, shook his head, and followed behind the two of you.

"Wait, Sans! Come back and tell me what they really say!" your voice echoed, a few of the people that happened to be in the same vicinity sparing a worried and intrigued glance, "Also! You don't even know where we're going!" You finally caught up with Mittens, Teddy on your heel, and grabbed ahold of his shoulders. He turned, slowly and steadily - almost teasingly-, and merely smirked.

"they say 'papa bless', so let's go get some pizza, you nerds," Mittens answered, proudly glowering down as you shrunk and emitted a strangled sob. Teddy, now standing beside the two of you, lifted his index phalange and opened his mouth to say something - but ultimately decided against it. You perked back up after a moment of utter disbelief and sadness, removed your hands from Mittens, and faced Teddy.

"Okay, so maybe I should explain to you guys something," you began, reaching into your bag and fishing around for something. "Since you've never had pizza before, I thought that maybe I'd snag this for you guys!" Your hand retracted from inside the bag, this glossy-filmed paper now clutched in your grasp and presented it to Teddy. He cocked his head to the side before he grabbed the flyer and skimmed over it, releasing an 'a-ha' as he realized what it was.

"COUPONS! PERFECT! THAT MEANS WE CAN GET THIS ONE FREE FOR THREE DEAL!" Teddy exclaimed boldly, one hand on his cocked hip and the other upon his chest, grinning handsomely at the camera with closed eyes. "I KNEW YOU WERE A GENIUS, (NAME)! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!" You deflated again, realizing that you handed him the wrong paper, and nervously chuckled. Opening your mouth to correct him and say that you were only going to buy two pizzas, a shiver traced down your spine whenever you felt Mittens' stare that basically shouted 'don't do it, we're required by the law of God to get four pizzas now' and the nervous chuckles bubbled into a full-blown strained laugh.

"Yes! I totally meant to do that!" you rubbed the back of your head, "but, hold on, there's another one I meant to show you." Reaching back into your bag, you retrieved the correct paper this time - a menu. You had figured the two of them really wouldn't know what their options would be and you wanted to make this process go as smoothly for them as can be, so knowing what they could get right off the bat seemed like the way to go. That would not only minimize the amount of social interaction they would have to engage in, but it would also allow you to actually be able to explain the options to them in thorough detail without awkwardly standing in line and holding it up. Handing that to Teddy, he began looking over the various toppings and deals.

"OH, THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" Teddy off-handedly commented, eyes bulging out of his skull and he laughed anxiously. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HALF OF THIS MEANS!"

"I figured," you leaned closer to Teddy, pointing at the menu," so we can create our own pizza, since that's usually what I do." You mentioned, watching Teddy nod along, Mittens saddling up to his other side to also be able to look over the menu.

"woah, toppings galore," Mittens stated, "bro, couldn't we just, like, get them all?" You glanced at Mittens, then to Teddy, noticing that both of them seemed to share these curious expressions. Deadpanning, briefly looking into the camera, you realized that the two of them probably would want everything on their pizza.

"Sure, I think those are usually called 'Supreme', but I'm not sure what the terminology is with Papa John's," you shrugged, "you guys just want all the toppings, or should I give the two of you high cholesterol and ask if you guys would like to try it with the six-cheese, as well?" At the end of your sentence, your line of sight trailed upwards ... only to be met with two different adoring gazes of heart-shaped eye-lights. Ah, so that settles it then.

"I WANT EVERYTHING THAT CAN BE ON IT!" Teddy clapped his hands together, accidentally crumpling the paper, and looked down at you assuringly.

 _"Even pineapple?"_ you asked teasingly, having no real reserves about pineapple on pizza.

"even pineapple," Mittens confirmed. Now the two of them were staring at you expectantly, shifting a bit and fiddling with their digits as they await your response. They appeared shy, ready for you to shut them down at any minute, and you frowned. You thought they were babes, they deserved the world - and if the world stands for three pizzas with every topping known to man and every cheese on there, then so be it! They would have it.

"Of course!" you chirped, one second standing on your own two feet and then next being swooped into Teddy's hold as he twirled you around - apathetic to the few stares the two of you received. Mittens had this sapphire blue flush powdering his cheeks and he released a few hearty chuckles at your frazzled visage, awkwardly reaching over and patting your back a couple of times once Teddy returned you to your feet.

"OH, MY STARCLAN! THANK YOU SO MUCH, THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER!!" Teddy was bouncing in place, wiggling his hips. You waved it off, feeling just a little weird at hearing such heartfelt gratitude at something so simple for you (though you knew that it was definitely important to them), and started the trek to Papa John's.

"No need to thank me, Paps! I'd do this for you any day," you responded cheerfully, missing the look the brothers shared, "So come on, those pizzas' are waiting for us!"

* * *

"Faster! If we don't get to the park in exactly four point two seconds, the pizzas will no longer be hot enough!" you exclaimed, screeching as Teddy knocked into you, legs sweeping out from underneath you and pizza boxes lurching unsteadily as he sprinted with you now in his arms.

"I'M TRYING!!!" he cried, "SANS!!! PICK UP THE PACE!!! PAPA JOHN COMMANDS IT!" You managed to peek over Teddy's shoulder, watching Mittens remove his hands from his pockets and tug his beanie down further over his forehead by the thick, fuzzy strings and nod to himself. Then, out of surprise from literally no one, began to naruto-run after Teddy. Mortified, yet fully aware that you shouldn't have expected anything less, you wailed out whenever the three of you all but pinwheeled into the park.

See, it had been a casual idea, right? Order the pizzas, wait for it to get done, then subtly suggest taking them over to the park not even five minutes away and eating the food there, and smirk in victory whenever Teddy and Mittens perked up at the idea. When the pizzas were done, however, you definitely weren't expecting _this_.

All three of your bodies spun, twirling in the air before the three of you miraculously landed perfectly on a bench somewhere near the playground, pizza boxes settled on the table in the center. You blinked, then Teddy, and then Mittens. Sharing an expression that basically said 'wow, that worked?' and glancing around the park.

"HUH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" Teddy said, moving the subject away from the Olympics just performed, "I MEAN, IT LOOKS KIND OF LIKE THE FOREST, JUST A LITTLE MORE WELL-KEMPT." It looked just like any other park: a playground pushed further into the corner, filled with sand and wood chippings and rickety old swingsets that bellowed out anytime you tried to use them; then there were old, slightly rotting benches with tables that had a bunch of emo or romantic scribblings engraved into them; and finally, swaying trees and flowers leaping up to the sun in the sky. You distinctly remember a park similar to this from your childhood, which is why you enjoyed it so much and thought that the brothers might enjoy eating the pizzas here.

"plus, there's a nice-cream guy over there," Mittens stated, jabbing his index phalange off to the side and you followed his line of direction, seeing the bunny monster with baby blue fur wearing his yellow and red vendor's outfit behind a Nice-Cream cart. "so we don't even have to go far to get ice-cream now." Mittens winked, once again making you deadpan because there go your savings, and you shrugged.

"Wow, how convenient," you mumbled, "if you guys have room after all this, then we can grab some!" You were hoping that they wouldn't have any room, but with the two wolfish grins on their faces, you could tell that you were going to be getting nice-cream.

"SURE!" Teddy nodded, pushing your regular, good ole pepperoni pizza towards you and grabbing the three boxes filled with pizzas that would kill a normal man just by looking at it. "I'M SO EXCITED, WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Mittens nodded, lifting the lid on one of those cardboard boxes, and the three of you looked inside. You swear, you're pretty sure that there was a chorus of angels singing in the background while a warm, yellow light shone down onto the pizza.

"wow, now _that's_ beautiful," Mittens commented, dabbing away a few droplets of tears that collected in the corners of his eye-sockets, hand shaking as he reached for a slice. Teddy joined him after a moment's hesitation, afraid to grab a slice, but unable to refrain from salivating. Finally, the two of them retrieved a slice and lifted it to their mouths. They looked at you for reassurance, to which you nodded encouragingly and made a circular motion with your hand for them to eat, before they finally took a bite.

They paused, the entire world stopping as they relished in the taste of Papa John's nectar, with Teddy looking at you and Mittens shutting his eyes. Teddy pulled the slice away long enough to speak, but Mittens was chowing down and really taking that slice to town. Your lips formed into one of those 'oh, yeah' smirks and bobbed your head, watching Mittens.

"(NAME)! I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW AMAZING THIS TASTES!" Teddy shouted, taking another large bite and gulping, "I WISH WE WOULD HAVE TRIED THIS SOONER." You didn't really say anything, opting instead to open up your own box and remove a slice, blowing off the steam and joining the brothers. It was greasy, cheesy, and _delicious_. Pizza was definitely the best choice.

"bro, i'm already on my sixth slice, you actually should have gotten more," Mittens voiced, and though you thought he was just joking, you looked down at their open box. To your chagrin, exactly seven slices were gone. Your jaw dropped in shock, eyes briefly flickering to your slice and back to Mittens.

"Bro, I am just s - " you started and faltered, "I am just sitting here. I haven't even finished one slice!"

"well, then chop-chop, loser," Mittens joked, "the last one to finish is a rotten egg." Teddy jerked a bit, bone-brows pinching upwards and darting up his forehead, glanced at you and grinned devilishly. Looking back and forth between the brothers, you realized that you were probably going to be one hell of a rotten egg.

* * *

"HAHAHA, IT SEEMS THAT YOU _ARE_ A DORK!" Teddy shouted, clapping his hands together and jumping up from the bench and resting both of his hands on his hips. Your head was laying on the table, drool spilling over your lips and you groaned, having eaten an entire pizza within the span of ten minutes to be able to keep up with the brothers - only to fail miserably.

"rotten egg, rotten egg, now i get to eat your leg," Mittens waggled his bone-brows at you, " or we can bargain and you can keep your leg if you buy me and paps nice-cream instead." Your eyes refocused, the glaze over them dissipating, and narrowed at Mittens. Sighing heavily and heaving yourself up with a groan of agony, you wobbled and leaned against the bench.

"Fine, I lost fair and square," your eyes wrenched shut as the world spun on its axis just a bit whenever you stepped forward, "can you guys order by yourselves?" Teddy noticed how unsteady your balance was and the way you almost keeled over any time you tried to walk, then shuffled over to you as quickly as possible.

"OF COURSE! WE DON'T MIND GETTING IT BY OURSELVES," he affirmed, "BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE RIPPED FROM THIS MORTAL EXISTENCE! DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE WALKING?" You opened your mouth to tell Teddy that you were fine, but then almost choked on your own words and your tongue poked out from your lips, dizzy.

"Sure, if you're offering," you answered, leaning back just enough that your arms reached out for Teddy and you made grabby-hands. He smiled at you, one of his arms snaking around your back and the other holding onto your hand to keep you moving. "Thanks so much, Paps."

"NO PROBLEM, IT'S THE LEAST WE COULD DO FOR THE ROTTEN EGG!" flashing Teddy a deadpan and rolling your eyes, the two of you began a cha-cha slide forward to the vendor. The bunny monster behind the stand had already settled his gaze upon your little clique, one brow arched in curiosity and lacing his fingers together before placing a friendly smile across his face. He waited for Teddy to stop in front of the little sill jutting out from the front of the stand, irises flickering at Teddy's teeth, smile faltering for a brief second before his expression was unreadable. That is until Mittens arrived, and the bunny winced, then shook his head and waved his hand out lazily.

"Hello! I'm the Nice-Cream Guy," he closed his eyes and flashed a toothy grin, his two front incisors wide and gleaming in the sunshine. "What can I get for the three of you today?" Teddy steadied you, then he looked at the Nice-Cream Guy and hummed.

"ER, I, UM," he giggled uncomfortably and shifted from foot to foot," I GUESS WE'LL JUST TAKE THE REGULAR...?" The bunny's eyes fluttered open, brows furrowed, and he unlaced his fingers and reached for the sliding lid of the nice-cream compartment.

"I've never seen any of you here before, so I'm really not sure what that entails, but," the Nice-Cream Guy opened the lid and reached inside, "I assume you would just like the pops, right?" Mittens nodded, holding out his hand for the nice-cream bars, and the bunny swallowed. It wasn't hard to tell that he was slightly uncomfortable underneath Mittens' unwavering stare, averting his own eyes desperately as he lifted the bars from the freezer.

"Okay, that'll be five-seventy, then," the bunny monster didn't hand over the nice-cream and this guttural sound rang out in the back of your throat as you fished for your wallet, yanking out a ten and holding it out for the monster to take. He graciously did so, smiling brightly - even if it did drop just a fraction of an inch whenever Mittens snatched the bars - and started counting up your change. Dropping the coins and couple of bucks onto your open palm, you nodded in gratitude as Teddy turned your body around and you guys left.

The Nice-Cream Guy was still watching as the three of you exited, an intrigued expression plastered across his features and he tilted his head. Mittens waved goodbye, to which the bunny monster hesitantly returned before Teddy steered the three of you over to the playground.

"WOWIE," Teddy displayed a smile that seemed like it was more of a grimace, "I FORGOT HOW DIFFERENT HE LOOKED AFTER THE, YOU KNOW, ... ACCIDENT HAPPENED. IT TOOK ME A MINUTE TO RECOGNIZE IT'S THE SAME GUY!" Mittens' eye-light slid over to Teddy, eye-socket squinted and crinkled upwards, twisting his body as he started dealing out the nice-cream bars. The pain in your stomach subsided, so did that washing wave that felt like it was going to pull you under and you fixated your stare on Teddy.

"Yeah, it may look like the same guy but this is a different universe," easily, this flowed out simply. You didn't want Teddy to lose it, today seemed like such a good day, you didn't want this ruined by a rare meeting of some monster that reminded him of another from a universe long gone. "Don't think too hard, please. Let's just eat this nice-cream, yeah? I've never had it before, so I'm kind of interested!" Teddy's body swerved, looking down at you in astonishment before he plopped down on the swingset, the creak it released reverberating in the mostly silent park.

"NEVER? THEN GO ON, OPEN IT!! I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE IT," you nodded, sitting on the swing to the left of Teddy. Mittens regarded the two of you, dropping down on the sand by your feet and sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce. "MY FAVORITE FLAVORS ARE THE ORANGE CREME SODA AND SPARKLING CINNAMON!" Teddy turned the pop in his hand around, fingering over the packaging and emitting a happy yelp whenever he saw the flavor and tore the wrapper off. You saw the popsicle, beige and glittering with freeze.

Palming over your belly and massaging it gently, you scanned the wrapper and saw the flavor. 'Fudge and Cookie Crumble'. Huh, nothing you've ever heard of before, but that just made you work the packaging off diligently to be able to taste it. It was a chestnut brown with black chip flakes, reminding you of double chocolate-chip ice-cream and you grinned. Lifting the pop to your lips, you tasted it with the tip of your tongue. To your surprise, it wasn't exactly the flavor you thought it would be. It was sweet, but rich. It actually tasted exactly like fudge, only if the fudge had been mixed together with a cookie crumble pie afterward. Blinking, realizing that the name was literal, you happily continued licking it.

"What flavors did you guys get?" you off-handedly inquired, feeling content with sitting in comfortable silence, but wanting to make sure the two of them didn't feel awkward or alienated here. Mittens lifted his skull, looking up at you over his nasal cavity, and waved the pop around a couple of times before he slammed it into his maw and crunched down.

"icing and cherry cake," came Mittens' muffled response.

"IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FLAVORS!" Teddy happily chirped, "ORANGE CREAM SODA." You nodded, smiling softly at the cute and clever little names before you continued with the pop. This time, when the silence fell upon the three of you, it was warm and welcomed. Neither of them seemed to mind, content to stay busy with the nice-cream, and you looked up at the sky. It was midday, the sun shining brilliantly and casting its canary yellow rays down on everything below. For a moment, your heart dropped, realizing that the boys would have to go home soon ... until an idea swelled up.

"Hey, guys," they looked at you quizzically, "do you guys, perhaps, I don't know, _maaaybe_ want to stay the night?" Teddy gaped, pulling the now bare popsicle stick from his mouth and he seemed to vibrate.

"REALLY? YOU WANT US TO STAY THE NIGHT?" he began, gushing and leaning towards you, the swing swaying underneath the shifting weight and groaning in protest, "I DON'T MIND STAYING THE NIGHT IF YOU DON'T MIND US!!!" You laughed dismissively, sliding the last bite off your own stick before answering.

"It's why I offered," you shrugged. Mittens looked up at you, now finished with his nice-cream. There was this glint in his eyes, something you couldn't quite put your finger on, but he averted that maroon orb and winked.

"uh, hell yeah," he responded, "though we'd have to go back to get some stuff. didn't think about we'd be spending the night." You nodded, pushing yourself off of the swing, clutching the wrapping in your hand and stick in the other.

"That's fine by me," you held out your hand to the brothers, "give me your trash, I'll throw it away, then we'll head back to the car and we can decide what to do for the rest of the day - is that okay?" Teddy stood, holding his stick to his chest, and nodded.

"I DON'T MIND THAT, BUT WHAT DID YOURS SAY?" You blinked animatedly, tilting your head to the side.

"My what?" Mittens joined the three of you, gesturing towards his popsicle stick.

"this," he explained, "each one has a nice compliment on it. what did yours say?" You made an 'o' shape with your mouth and nodded, lifting the stick up to your face and looking at it.

"It says - "

"WAIT!!!!" Teddy interrupted you, shifting slightly, "LET'S READ THEM AT THE SAME TIME! COOL KIDS DO THAT." You knew that Teddy probably didn't really want to read something aloud by himself, so looking over to Mittens to make sure he didn't mind - to which he shrugged again - and down at your hands, you dipped your head.

"Sure, on the count of three?" all of you agreed, "one, two, ... three!"

_"I THINK YOU'RE WORTH IT!"_

_"i think you're worth it."_

_"I think you're worth it!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my tumblr!
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sabelisajacques#


	16. da war eine socke -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after one long hiatus, I'm back to writing! I hope to update this story as frequently as possible, but I have several other projects to balance, so they might not be regular. 
> 
> Also, if you want to check out my Tumblr for drabbles/headcanons/request, the link is here:
> 
> \- [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sabelisajacques)  
> 

"hey, uh, not to like completely rain on your parade or anything, but ... doesn't this seem a little, um ..." 

"A little what?" the three of you stood in the hallway directly outside your bathroom, just kind of staring at one another. It had been about an hour or so since absconding from the park, only making a pit stop for some overnight clothes and several other miscellaneous items required for sleepovers, but now everyone was wearing skeleton onesies. Mittens rubbed the back of his neck, choking out the most forced sounding chuckle with sweat beading down his temple. Teddy glanced back and forth between Mittens and you, resigned to just let it be as the Author intended - unlike his brother. 

"just a little too meta?" half of the sentence was spoken in a ridiculously heavy German-accent, both hands balled up awkwardly in front of his chest. The sound of silence was the only response Mittens received, statement completely ignored as a gentle smile plastered across your features. 

"It's funny, haha," you splayed your arms out and winked, "can't you tell?" 

"YEAH, BROSHINKI, YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE SQUAD LAUGHING," Teddy deadpanned, crossing his arms and huffing. "THEY'RE CUTE, I GUESS." 

"Thanks, man, at least _someone_ appreciates the effort," Mittens flexed out his phalanges at your jest, bone-brows darting up his forehead before furrowing. 

"but how'd you even get them? look, all i'm saying is that i'm pretty sure you didn't have these last chapter and you didn't buy them at the store we just went to," he glanced around, tugging at the fabric around his shoulder for emphasis. 

"Continuity," your left eye blinked, then your right. 

"Also, what - you been going through my closet, huh, _baka?"_ your head shook slightly in confusion, one hand now held up to pause the conversation, "wait, I think the correct word for 'pervert' is actually ' _hentai'."_ Mittens released a strangled noise, rapidly blinking at you. One of his hands quickly covered his face, a heavy sigh escaping him. 

"the sizes fit us perfectly, ya sure you aren't the _hentai_ here, uhh ... **_kohai!"_** Your mouth opened to snap back a retort after gasping in offense, only to find yourself interrupted by Teddy exaggeratedly placing one of his legs in between the two of you and literally stepping in. He placed a hand on the each of you, offering a very wide and kind grin. 

"OKAY, HOW ABOUT WE QUIT TRYING TO BE JAPANESE AND GO BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PROBLEM AT HAND," Teddy then buried his face into both of his palms, "WHAT MOVIE SHALL WE WATCH! WHAT ABOUT _ANIME?"_

"paps, isn't that japanese - "

"You're right! I have no clue what to do either," you hummed thoughtfully, " Disney or just go complete Sick-Mode Weeb?!" Teddy clasped hands with you, expressions mirroring one another, as the two of you sadly 'nyoo-hoo-hoo-ed'. Mittens, both of his eyes bulging out of his head and looking opposite directions very much like a cursed emoji, sighed exasperatedly and reached behind his back. 

"guys, calm down, look," Mittens retracted his arms from behind him, _Lady and the Tramp_ held up as an offering. You gasped, removing your hold on Teddy, and leaped forward. 

"Hey, that's one of my favorites!" you faltered, a singular brow arching, "waaaait, where'd you even pull that out from?" Teddy jumped in front of you, practically vibrating in place and eyes twinkling brightly, then slammed his hands down onto Mittens' shoulders. 

"BROTHER, THAT SOUNDS AMAZING - ESPECIALLY WITH THAT REALLY ICONIC SCENE WITH SPAGHETTI!!!" Teddy exclaimed, confusing you slightly and causing your head to tilt towards him. 

"How would you know about that scene?" you wondered, tapping your chin in thought. They didn't even know what _pizza_ was, but yet they've seen this movie? How strange. Teddy swiveled his head back around to face you, eyes closed and index finger held in the air as he inhaled before talking. 

"WE HAD THE INTERNET!" Teddy explained, "SO OF COURSE WE'VE SEEN A LOT OF FANART AND ORIGINAL ARTWORKS, TOO. THOUGH, I MUST ADMIT, THERE WERE SOME THINGS THAT DEFINITELY CLASSIFIED AS ... ECCENTRIC. WHAT EVEN _IS_ AN ECTOBODY?" Brows furrowed and mouth agape, you tried to respond but found yourself speechless. To be honest, you didn't know what an ectobody was and you're pretty sure that you _don't_ want to find out. Shaking your head, shrugging, and pivoting around to face Mittens again, you paused. His face, it's basically screaming that he has another option hidden behind his back! 

"Okay, so _Lady and the Tramp_ is chill, but," you took an ominous step closer, "what else do ya got hidden in that unspeakable place?" Fixing Mittens with an overly-ahegao look of suspicion, Teddy gasping loudly and naturally joining along, and Mittens began nervously sweating as he took a step away. 

"i have no idea what you're even talking about," his red orb glanced side to side nervously, hoping to find a way to skirt around the two of you and dash away madly. Teddy, having already predicted this move, cornered his right and you cornered his left. He had nowhere to run, he had to fess up. Mittens realized this, un-realized, and then realized again. Releasing a strange-sounding groan that reminded you of a certain bluejay from a children's cartoon, Mittens shook his head and revealed his second option:

_Ouran High School Host Club._

Everything was silent for all of one second before you were cackling, eyes twinkling with tears and mimicking a certain King Explosion Murder's 'DIE DIE DIE' expression, your body lolled backward before springing back up. Teddy was staring with blank confusion and Mittens looked downright terrified - they should be, you could already hear the 'kiss kiss, fall in love - na na na na'. 

"Broski, we _have_ to watch this," your face looked exactly like the begging eyes emoji, lip pouted out and everything, "this is so iconic, you don't even know." Mittens trailed his singular eye-light down, brows pinched together uncomfortably, sweating increased by three hundred percent. He really didn't know what to do, Teddy wanted Disney and you wanted anime - a tough choice indeed. 

"i mean, i don't know, i just kind of snagged this off your shelf, i mean, eheheh, uh," Mittens trailed off, chopping his hands around as he tried to come up with a valid excuse as to why maybe the Disney movie was obviously the better option because of the spaghetti. Teddy, noticing that he was struggling, sighed and halted him. 

"BROTHER, I SAID TO HAMBONE IN TIMES OF EXTREME STRESS," he quipped, facing you, "I THINK SANS WOULD RATHER ENJOY THE DISNEY MOVIE MORE BECAUSE IT'S FLUFFIER, PLUS THERE'S REALLY GOOD ITALIAN FOOD!" Though you were mostly willing to wane and agree, you 'waaaaah-ed'. 

"B-b-but _Ouran_ has fancy tuna," this almost obliterated Teddy. Fancy tuna was a hard choice, but he would stand by his brother through and through! 

"WE WOULD PREFER _LADY AND THE TRAMP,"_ Teddy finalized, crossing his arms and pointedly looking up to the ceiling. You wanted to argue, but then you looked between the brothers and realized that you just couldn't say 'no' to those faces, and sighed defeatedly. 

"All riiight, we can watch that, then," you finally relented and Teddy cheered. He slid forward, swooping his arms under your legs before he heaved your body into the air. Teddy was laughing boldly as he began his abscond to the living room, Mittens rapidly fluttering his eye-sockets open and close before he, too, released a slight chuckle. He trailed behind the two of you, slipped the anime back onto the shelf, and joined the preparations for a movie night. 

* * *

The sound of beautifully composed orchestral music and the delicious scent of popcorn wafted through the relaxed home, everything dimmed and the only source of light coming from the wide-screen television. Plopped down in front of the couch, piled together in mounds of blankets and pillows like some sort of mock nest, was the brothers and yourself. Various kinds of candies and snack foods littered the area around the nest, all opened and tore into, leaving a nice little mess for you to handle in the morning. Though, currently, the three of you were working on chowing down the giant bowl of popcorn settled in the middle of your lap. Mittens and Teddy sat by your sides, squishing you together with their friendly and warm cuddles, laser-focused on the film. 

It was the romantic montage of scenes that blossomed into Lady and Tramp's relationship, the music the kind meant to be heart-melting softly playing, and the two brothers had fallen in love. There were these cute, little smiles dopily stretched across their cheekbones as they watched the romance dance. At the same time, no reason whatsoever as to why each stretched out one of their arms to snatch a couple of pieces of popcorn - maybe it was a coincidence. Their phalanges brushed against one another delicately, and vibrant blushes splattered across the faces as they looked down ... only to realize that they had met one another's hands. Slightly disappointed, but hope not lost, they slowly trailed their eye-lights up to meet your gaze. 

Hoping to see the sweetest look plastered across your face at the movie, they instead saw your hands shoving a fistful's worth of popcorn into your mouth as your jaw unhinged to manage all at once. 

This was all they needed to see to fall even more in love with you than before. 

* * *

"Well, _thankfully_ it was still summertime during the last update so that means it's technically warm outside," you jested, an almost wistful expression on your face. Teddy chopped his arm down, playfully bonking your head, and then continued spreading a blanket out across the grass. 

"WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS COLD OR WARM WOULDN'T HAVE REALLY BOTHERED US SINCE WE ARE SKELETONS," Teddy placed a hand on his chest, nasal cavity now turned up in the air, "OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR TO FLESH!" After splaying across the ground due to the bonk, your tongue poked out of your mouth in retaliation before you sprang back up. 

"You know the only way to combat the cold?" you smirked, brows waggling.

"wait, but it's like seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit and about twenty-four degrees Celsius, why would you need a jacket?" Mittens' question went on ignored by the both of you - left standing there glancing back and forth in an attempt to get noticed. Teddy blinked for a second, rubbing his chin in thought before he snapped his fingers together, missing Mittens by a fraction of a hair at his movements. 

"GOING BACK INSIDE TO GRAB A COAT?" he asked, but you shook your head. 

"Of course not, silly!" spinning around on the balls of your feet, your hands on your hips, you gestured towards the neighborhood, "We should obviously walk around like a lot of hooligans and laugh really loudly - a staple to any sleepover!" Teddy fluttered his eyesockets a couple of times, tilting his skull over to Mittens. 

"ACTING LIKE HOOLIGANS, I DON'T KNOW," he hummed, "WHAT ARE WE? A BUNCH OF HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS TRYING TO LOCATE THE WHEREABOUTS OF A CERTAIN INTERDIMENSIONAL ENTITY THAT VERY CLEARLY DOESN'T EXIST?" Mittens had both of his hands stuffed in his pockets, already trailing past Teddy, and shrugged. 

"then let's get going, i can already feel the hypothermia settling into my bones," was his only response, clearly just a little irked at having been ignored earlier and Teddy released a sigh that sounded like 'nyooooh'. Clapping your hands together, you gestured for Teddy to follow with a friendly smile. With shoulders now releasing all their tension and silence upon the atmosphere, the three of you stepped out from your backyard and began walking the sidewalk of your neighborhood. 

It was peaceful, a bunch of nicely painted houses all pressed together and slim roads all stretching about and around in a twisted maze that would have been difficult for a visitor to navigate through easily. A lot of families and children lived here, so that meant the place was rather safe to just wander around and enjoy a beautiful day. You glanced at Mittens and Teddy, and the thought occurred that if only you had a couple spare bikes that the three of you could have fun zipping around during a day off. Though your pupils trailed to Teddy's curved spine and you wondered if he could even handle to strain, but if you had to drive slowly then that wasn't so bad either. Brows now furrowed, you also wondered if they even knew _how_ to ride a bike - was the Underground even set up for that to be a possibility? 

"Hey, guys, quick thing," you made sure to meet both of their gazes before speaking, "do either of you know how to ride a bike?" 

"yeah, i do," Mittens responded first, "but only tricycles. i'm too lazy to wanna keep my balance on a normal one." Deadpanning for a slight second, realizing that kind of destroyed the whole purpose, you nodded. 

"Ah, that's chill," one brow quirked, stare shifted onto Teddy, you asked, "and what about you?" He averted his eyes, a slight frown pinching down the corners of his mouth, and nervously chuckled. 

"I, ER, NEVER ... LEARNED HOW," Teddy admitted, both of his index phalanges pressing together in shame. Oh, he was embarrassed. Lifting your arm and patting his upper arm, you offered a really kind expression and squeezed both eyes shut. Teddy blinked rapidly at the sunshine smile, having expected you to laugh at him, and his eye-lights just kept shifting around in confusion. 

"That's alright, Pap," you chuckled, "I can teach you how if you want!" 

"REALLY? THAT WOULDN'T BE A BOTHER OR A HASSLE TO YOU AT ALL?" Teddy reflected, hands now wringing together, and your head shook. 

"Not at all," you claimed, "actually, I think it'd be super fun to do. That way we can bike around this place more - it'd help me _finally_ get back into shape." Teddy straightened his posture, about to respond, until Mittens leaned his big ole grin over your head and said, 

"and you can even get training wheels like mine." 

Teddy slapped both of his hands over his face and wailed like that one cursed emoji, prompting you to give Mittens a stare that screamed 'broshinki - i'm gonna eat your ass' and then flung yourself over to Teddy. Wrapping one of your arms around his back and shushing him gently, you tried to calm him down. 

"Training wheels are good for beginners!" you reasoned, "it helps prevent them from getting badly injured, but it doesn't mean you're bad or anything." Dropping both hands to his sides, Teddy sighed heavily and looked down at you. 

"ARE YOU SURE? MY BROTHER JUST USES THEM TO BE LAZY AND OOOH, I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK I'M NEGLIGENT OR ANYTHING OF THAT ILK!" Now one of his hands was awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, but at least he was meeting your gaze. 

Shaking your head and smiling, you said, "no, of course not. more than likely they're going to think you're so cool for picking up a brand new skill!" You exclaimed, tossing both of your arms into the air in an exaggerated stance and brought them back down slowly. Teddy still looked a little unsure, the ends of his bone-brows pinching together slightly, and dipped his skull. 

"OKAY, YEAH! I WILL LOOK REALLY COOL RIDING A BICYCLE," he then jabbed his index digit towards Mittens, of whom drew back a bit, and then curtained his body with the proudest and most handsome expression, "AND THEN MAYBE IT WOULD INSPIRE YOU ENOUGH TO FINALLY DITCH THE ZERO AND GET WITH THE HERO!" Mittens blinked in confusion, mouth warbling into a grimace, and inhaled. 

"bro, what does that even mean, -"

"And we'll show people _this_ to prove that we're not messing around," you added, to which Teddy summoned an orange bone that had this faintest glow lighting up everything around your little group. He waved it around a couple of times, looking back and forth between Mittens and you for approval, and almost squealed when at your thumbs-up and Mittens' reluctant rictus grin. 

The conversation then died down a bit, and the bone didn't disappear, so the trek continued on with the strangely-shaped glowstick. A nice breeze danced around your bodies, and you couldn't help the excited shiver that escaped you when your pupils met the sky and all of the shining white stars. Your neighborhood didn't have a lot of light pollution, which made it the perfect little place to sit and watch the stars all night long. Before you pulled the brothers along for a pleasant stroll, the plan had been to splay yourselves across your lawn and stare at the sky until sleep won. 

Your eyes unconsciously started watching the brothers, and the fact that the majority of tension had left their bodies and they looked serene didn't go unnoticed, and happiness settled deep within your heart. This was what you wanted, this is what they deserved. Tomorrow would be a dentist appointment, then the day after would be the meeting with Edgeworth, and then finally - justice. You glanced down at your feet, smiling, and listened to the steady tempo set by your trio. Once this was all said and done, it could be like this all the time. 

And then your thoughts were disrupted when one of the neighborhood dogs started barking at you, to which all three of you swiveled your bodies around to find the dog rattling its metal cage and harking up a raucous. The dog had a mostly white pelt with the occasional brown spot and stubby little legs, but its voice was high-pitched and squeaky - almost like the stereotypical cartoon dog. You frowned, hating that the dog was trapped inside the cage at night instead of with its owners, but decided to amuse your friends slightly by responding to the dog with a couple of yaps as well. 

Teddy fixed you with a curious stare, while Mittens looked as if he just had the biggest epiphany of his life. 

"(NAME), WHY EXACTLY DID YOU DO THAT?" and you would have answered his question, until Mittens raised his hand up and halted you. 

"bro, dude, just listen," Mittens then cleared his throat, closed his eyes, and inhaled. A few gruff, guttural sounding barks came from him and your eyes started twinkling. Oh, yeah, this is right up your alley. You joined him almost immediately, yapping along and making one helluva cacophony, and Teddy winced. 

"WOW, YOU TWO SOUND TERRIBLE!" he exclaimed, then cleared his throat as well, "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW A MASTER DOES IT, EVEN IF I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND WHY WE ARE DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE." When he emitted his barks, they were a definite tenor and had a little squawk to them. This continued on for a couple more moments, just make a little symphony out of a trio and snapping your fingers along to the barking. It was almost like mock-beatboxing, but horrendous - albeit fun. 

You're pretty sure that this would have continued on for a while longer had one of the lights in the house not flicked on and then there was the sound of someone angrily grumbling while stomping around to see what was going on. You screeched, Teddy gasped, and Mittens released a quiet 'ah, shit, here we go again' before the three of you turned tail and sprint back to the comfort and safety of your property. You guys ran really fast, almost like this troupe and line was nabbed from one really bad fanfic. 

Though out of breath and panting heavily, you weakly dragged yourself over to the blanket still spread out across the yawn and limply fell to your demise. Mittens and Teddy followed suit, chests heaving, and flanked both of your sides. It took a couple of moments before your breathing evened out, and you couldn't help but drape an arm around your face as you shifted into a more comfortable position. Drawing your knees up and straightening your back, you exhaled shakily before dropped your arm back down. Teddy was curled up, skull angled to where his eye-lights could still dance around in his eye-sockets to watch the night sky. Mittens, unsurprisingly, was just plainly laying flat on his back in the most natural pose ever. 

"LET'S AGREE TO NEVER DO SOMETHING AS FOOLISH EVER AGAIN," Teddy whispered, briefly closing his eyes for a moment, and you nodded. 

"Or, at the very least, let's never do something like that where we can get _caught,"_ you smirked, Teddy groaned exasperatedly, and Mittens flashed a pair of finger-guns. 

"and we have to be party rocking whenever it happens," Teddy groaned even harder, you chuckled, and then the silence won again. It was comfortable and reminded you of just a few minutes ago before the fido fiasco, so that smile was plastered right back onto your features. With stars glittering above, the chirruping of cicadas, and the low breathing tickling your ears - a magic summer night. This was the most relaxed you felt in a while, so even though you desperately wished to stay awake and keep looking for constellations with the brothers, your eyelids struggled and pulled to a close. 

Your breathing slowed, Mittens and Teddy drew closer, and then you were out like a light. 

* * *

Whenever you awoke the next morning, you were momentarily startled to find that you were laying atop your bed and that the brothers were nowhere in sight. Wrestling the comforter off your body and bolting up as fast a humanly possible, you jerkily slid across the floor a little and almost fell because you forgot about being in that skeleton onesie, and slapped head-first with your door. Your body unceremoniously pooled down to the floor, the fattest groan ripping through your vocal cords. A light skeletal rap against your threshold drew your attention, now noticing that the door was wide open and Mittens was standing there looking down at your in concern. He blinked the concern away, a little mischievous grin stretching up to his cheekbones as he offered a hand. 

"heh, you remember one of the first things you ever said to me?" he asked, amusement clear in his tone, and you whined before accepting the hand. Mittens grunted a bit but managed to pull you back up onto your feet and you shook your head slightly, brows furrowed. 

"No? I was havin' one hella trip, I don't remember all the little tiny details about that night," you admitted almost sheepily, stretching a bit and yawning obnoxiously. 

"' _sorry for falling for you',"_ Mittens stated, and your face morphed into sheer horror as you realized how embarrassing you really must have been that night, and then his sly grin turned into a full-blown smirk. 

"Dear God, how many cheesy one-liners did I give you," you wailed, reaching out and gripping Mittens' shoulders, but he only shrugged you off and waved his hand about dismissively. 

"it's a tale lost to time, we may never know," at this, he pivoted around and immediately started heading down the hallway. Wiping the look of your face tiredly, you jumped out behind him and shuffled after him.

"Bro, what does that even mean, you legit just told me something about that night," you wanted to say more, but Mittens twisted back around and placed his index phalange against your lips to shush your talking.

"as much as i would like to recollect that tale, some batter that my bro and me whipped up is waiting for us downstairs," Mittens removed his digit, balled his hand back up into a fist, and began flouncing down your steps as graciously as he could. It was lumbering, kind of awkward-looking, but the way he twirled his arms like he was mimicking some dance from an outdated anime was definitely admirable. You followed closely behind, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and wound up in the kitchen with Mittens. 

Teddy was already standing beside the counter pressed against the wall, a few strides down from the oven, and had on one of your neko-girl aprons. Held firmly in his arms was a giant green mixing bowl - filled with batter, you assumed - and his right hand clutched a spoon. He hadn't been paying much attention at the beginning, but whenever he saw his brother and you standing inside the kitchen, his expression lit up and tiny stars appeared in his eyes. 

"AH! GOOD MORNING, (NAME)!" he greeted, settling the bowl beside the griddle he somehow located and had plugged in, and swept his arm towards your island in a gesture. "I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU PUMPING IT UP IN THERE, SO MITTENS WENT TO CHECK WHILE I MADE THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF BATTER FOR EACH OF US TO MAKE EXACTLY THREE PANCAKES." Ah, so that explained the two other colorful bowls just randomly placed in the center of the island, but there wasn't a mess in sight. You didn't question it, assuming that the brothers didn't like making messes with food if it was unnecessary so they made sure to keep everything all nice and tidy. 

"How nice of you two!" you cheered happily, the sleep fully exiting your body, and bounded towards one of the bowls with your hands clasped together. Teddy clapped a couple of times before returning to his own mix, stepping closer to the counter to begin pouring it out onto the griddle's piping hot surface. You picked up the purple one, while Mittens nabbed the orange one, and reached for a spoon to begin prepping the batter to go with the rest. 

Finishing up the batter mostly went on quietly, only the occasional crack and pun from Mittens here and there or Teddy talking about how amazing the night before was and that it should definitely happen again. Teddy's pancakes sizzled up first, which was when Mittens disappeared and reappeared, confusing you and Teddy. It was only whenever he unsheathed your phone and nervously handed it over that he suggested putting on some tunes to liven up the still house. Thus, a bunch of eighties bops drifted through the atmosphere along with the sweet scent of pancakes, and Teddy ended up sweeping you along for some sloppy dancing to the rhythm. 

Mittens was sitting on the island, keeping a check on the pancakes' status, and would occasionally groan at a song before skipping it or offer a devious smirk at others. Soon, Teddy's pancakes were done, then Mittens', and finally yours. They had all been made in a secret, a contest to see who could make the coolest shaped pancakes so nicely suggested by Teddy. The three of you all shared a joking suspicious glare before huddling together to compare, mouths salivating at the smell, but composing yourselves long enough to see what was made. 

"I'LL GO FIRST," Teddy shouted, "LOOK AT MY AWESOME PANCAKES, NYEH-SE-SE-SE-SE!" When you glanced down at his plate, you were completely and totally blown away. Somehow, the pancakes miraculously looked like an exact replica of his face - you chalked it up to magic. 

"Wow, Paps, I'm literally shaking," you said, rubbing the back of your neck before glancing down at your plate and your horribly lumpy-bumpy pancakes, "I _did_ try to make mine into hearts and candy-canes, but this is what I'm left with." Teddy also glanced down at your plate, spared a sympathetic look and patted your back reassuringly. 

"IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF YOU, DO NOT WORRY," he tried to console you, which you smiled graciously at him for, and then shrugged. 

"Eh, it's whatever," you waved it off and arched a brow, then gestured to his plate, "Wait, what was even the inspiration behind these?" Teddy rubbed his chin and hummed, free hand on his hip, and waved his hand about. 

"I ONCE TRIED TO MAKE THIS PUZZLE THAT LOOKED LIKE MY FACE, BUT THE ICE AND SNOW MELTED HORRIBLY," he began, "SO THE MASTERPIECE LOOKED UGLY, SO I ATTEMPTED ONCE MORE HERE AND THANKFULLY ENDED UP WITH BETTER RESULTS!" You had momentarily forgotten that Teddy liked puzzles, but that made sense. 

"Well, it definitely is astounding," you nodded your head respectfully, bottom lips jut out cooly. "I'm proud of you!" At your praise, Teddy beamed brightly and heat rose to your cheeks at just how handsome he could be when he flashed one of those faces. You would have, of course, continued to stare at him like a creep before realizing that you _were_ staring; however, before you started, you noticed that Mittens had been awfully silent throughout the whole exchange. Pupils sliding over to his form, you saw that he was paying attention, but had his plate obscured from sight. 

"This was supposed to be a competition, Sans, what'd ya make?" you queried, leaning closer to him and trying to peer over his jacket sleeve. He released an awkward chuckle, red orb averted, and Teddy joined the peeping by placing both his hands on your shoulders to steady himself as he leered over you. 

"YES, BROTHER! SHOW US YOUR CREATION!" Mittens couldn't ignore the eagerness laced through Teddy's tone, and with a nervous hum ringing in the back of his throat, slowly relented. 

"okay, so i tried to make a bone, ya see, but, uh," he started, sputtering a bit as he slowly moved his arm out of the way. 

"But what?" You asked, and Mittens had a momentarily smirk on his face because Teddy interrupted with a, "AND DON'T SAY 'CHICKEN BUTT', SANS!" His expression shifted again, and he moved his arms around to pick up his plate. 

"well, you see, there ... " he trailed off, now exposing his plate to you and Teddy, "there was a _sock."_

On his plate lay three beautifully shaped socks, and Teddy replicated the noise of a fishing rod while you merely blinked. 

"EVEN NOW I CAN'T ESCAPE THAT SOCK YOU PERPETUALLY CONTINUE TO NEVER PICK UP," he sighed, flopping down onto one of the bar stools around the island, and shook his skull lightly. You looked back and forth, sitting beside Teddy, before facing Mittens. 

"Well, they look nice, at least," you commented and Mittens offered a more subdued and shy version of Teddy's previous expression, plopping down you.

"yes, but i think paps won the competition," Mittens finished and you nodded. 

"Definitely," you looked at Teddy, "those pancakes were a work of art." Teddy blushed a tangerine orange and giggled, grabbing the syrup and various berries retrieved before the pancakes had been fully cooked. He slid them closer, poured a hearty amount of syrup and a handful of fruit, and then scooted it towards you. 

"WELL, THANK YOU BOTH," Teddy chopped into his stack, "EVEN IF I HAD TO SEE THOSE HORRENDOUS SOCKS."

Nothing much else was said, just listening to the music still playing softly in the background and digging into breakfast. While the three of you ate, you just couldn't help yourself from sneaking little glances at the brothers. They were hurt and healing slowly, but everything about this felt lovely. And as you took another bite, you realized that having them as your soulmates wouldn't be all that bad. 

.

.

.

Since nothing else bad was going to happen, ... _right?_


	17. zähne und bäume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! The last bit of this chapter has GRAPHIC and HORRIFIC imagery of a Yandere. Please, please, please! be careful while reading that bit. It is gross and disgusting, please be wary. 
> 
> Here is my Tumblr!
> 
> \- [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sabelisajacques)  
> 

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?" 

Teddy's gaze was averted, staring intently at the building to the left of your car. His hands were nervously wringing together, sometimes halting and hesitating before his phalanges pressed together in a numeric fashion. With furrowed brows and a slight frown, he carefully turned his leer from the building to your eyes. You couldn't help but feel your SOUL clench in your chest, but you shook off the suddenness and leaned forward to place your hand on top of his shoulder. 

"Yes, I wouldn't have brought us here if I didn't think it would be a good idea," spilled from your lips, offering nothing but the absolute truth. Mittens' singular maroon orb snapped over to your frame, scanned it over once, and twitched slightly. 

Both of them were very nervous about the dentist's appointment, but you could understand why. Their bodies were made completely of bone, and this trip included solely targeting _bone._ Teddy's teeth were in critical condition, with each quadrant needing delicate care and help. During the phone call, the nurse on the other line explained that if the teeth were mostly misshapen and split at the edges that the only thing they could do was shave them down. You tried your hardest to say that to the brothers in the easiest and gentlest way possible just so they knew what to expect, but their metaphorical hairs were standing on end. 

"no teeth pullin' or anything? they're just gonna buzz 'em down and then fix him with a set of braces?" Mittens had unbuckled himself, but Teddy was fumbling around with the buckle to _possibly_ stall for time. That wasn't good; he didn't need to be scared of this, you had tried so hard to make sure that everything would be okay. 

"No teeth are going to get pulled, I promise," Mittens jerked a little, nodding, "and Paps, if you aren't ready, then we can cancel this appointment and reschedule this for another day - " 

"NO!" Teddy abruptly yelped, his seatbelt whipping as it noisily slashed back into the slot on the roof after he accidentally unbuckled himself in his momentary panic. He paused, released an awkward chuckle, and rubbed the back of his neck. "NO, IT'S ... IT'S REALLY OKAY, I CAN DO THIS. I'M THE AMAZING PAPYRUS, NO CHALLENGE DETERS ME!" 

"Are you positive? I don't want to rush you into anything you don't want to be," you repeated, trying to assure him that he could take all the time he needed, but not wanting to sound like you were insinuating he couldn't handle it. Teddy poked both of his index digits together for a few seconds, a thick silence settling around the car, and carefully nodded. 

"YES," was the only response you received. 

Now you were hesitant to even open the car door, but with a quick glance back at Mittens' slightly less tense expression - even though his eye-light was dangerously vibrating within that black abyss - and tightened grin, you sighed and pulled the handle up and out. The brothers followed suit, even if they lagged a bit, and you waited for them by the front of the vehicle. Teddy shambled towards you, skull downcast and arms crossed, which made your heart almost snap in two. You really didn't want to push him, but he seemed adamant to do this; you couldn't quell the fire, you'd just have to let him go to the limits of his comfort zone. 

"Come on, let's head inside," you pat his upper back and smiled softly, "I believe in you." Teddy's dim eye-lights rolled around and slid towards you slowly, but he returned the smile with a barely noticeable tug of the corners of his mouth. Before you headed for the entrance, you quickly flashed Mittens' a thumbs-up to make sure he was faring well - to which he _also_ returned - and pivoted back around. You trekked forward, hand still on Teddy's back, before you reached the double glass doors. 

Your eyes trailed the building up and down, noticing that the place seemed fairly new. It made sense; it was a joint monster-human establishment, so that means it had only been around for a couple of years. There was a slight incline with two thin, black fences lined up to the door, completed by an awning; shrubs and bushes were placed in a pattern through some mock garden that made up the perimeter. You nodded, eyes now flickering to your reflections of the glass door to hopefully sneak a peek of the inside, but it was way too tinted to accomplish that. 

Stealing a brief glimpse of the brothers whose bones were rattling so loudly that you could probably hear them a mile away, your arm lurched forward and pressed against the metal bars to open them. Teddy released a slight gasp and Mittens stiffened, but you tried to _not_ focus on that as you stepped through the threshold. 

A slight ring echoed overhead, and quickly glancing up let you know that it was a tiny bell, and the lady behind the counter perked up slightly. Her glasses were all the way down the bridge of her nose, eyes looking over her glasses at the computer - which meant she more than likely hadn't seen your group yet. 

"Hello!" she called out, awaiting your arrival to the desk, and you ushered Mittens and Teddy with a small, circular wave of your hand. Teddy sputtered, almost tumbling over as he bent forward to step inside and wrapped his arms around his body in a mock hug. He looked so awkward and exposed; you felt horrible. But, just as you were about to open your mouth to say something, there was a tight grip squeezing your right hand. Glancing at Mittens, you noticed that his eye-sockets were narrowed and his singular iris slid around suspiciously - but he was the one holding your hand. Squeezing his hand gingerly once, your body moved forward and paused only a step away from the desk. 

"Hey, yes, I'm here for a dental appointment under the last name (Surname)," your voice came out in as professional of a manner you could muster, which drew the lady's attention away from her screen. She met your gaze for exactly zero point two seconds before her eyes glanced between the two monsters on either side of you, her hand shooting up to cover her mouth as a muffled gasp resounded throughout the mostly silent establishment. Her eyes were bulging out of her head and she looked petrified. For a moment, you thought that she would demand that your group turn around and leave, but, instead, she just said, 

"Oh! Oh, yes, I see," she quickly recovered, shaking her head slightly and shifting in her seat as she started typing away on a keyboard, "You're on time - which one is getting the work?" The lady didn't look at your group again, but you noticed her head twitch in the general direction of Teddy. You blinked once in shock, not expecting it to have gone this smoothly after her initial reaction, but fluttered your eyes and wiped the dumb-stricken expression off your face. 

"This fella right here, Pa - ... Teddy," you lamely cut yourself off, having momentarily forgotten that you can't address them by their real names in public. You also tried to ignore the strange look both of the boys fixed on you. "Whoever I spoke to on the phone said that I had to fill out special paperwork for monsters without ID cards, right?" The lady nodded, one of her hands shooting out and rummaging through various folders spread across her work-space. 

"Correct," she finished typing, leaning forward a couple of inches to the screen and squinting, "You, luckily, only have to fill out one sheet. It just needs various information such as addresses, emails, telephone numbers, etcetera." There was suddenly a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard and a pen pushed to your face as the lady stood, which you clumsily grabbed with a quick grin. 

"Sweet," you stated, briefly skimming the sheet, " and there are no co-pays required?" 

"No, monsters receive free care here," she pivoted around on her axis, "And I'll notify you whenever the doctor's ready to see Teddy - please, take any seat while you wait." Gesturing with a small sweep of her arm, she offered one final customer-service smile and then turned fully before heading further into the office. You called out your gratitude after her, but you're not even sure if she heard you or not. 

"Uh, then, come on, guys," Teddy and Mittens were still staring hard at you, "let's go sit down and see what to do about this paper here." They nodded, falling in step with you as you stalked towards the mini-wooden bench lined with red cushioning. You distractedly plopped down in the center, trying to decide whether or not you should put your information there or theirs. Did they even have an address? Email? You knew they had phone numbers, but the rest is unknown. 

Mittens leaned over your shoulder, glancing at the paper before saying, "yo, we don't have any of those things." 

Well, that answers _that_ question. 

"Really?" they both nodded, "All right, not an issue - don't worry. We'll just input my information, then. Is that okay with you two?" Once again, they nodded in unison. Teddy was on your right side and Mittens was on your left, both of them perched on the edge of their seats as they waited to be called back into the office. You noticed that Teddy was shaking, though trying his hardest to conceal it, and you scooted a few inches closer to him to offer a reassuring pat to his humerus. 

Teddy's faint orbs snapped down to your frame, but your attention was focused on filling out the paperwork in front of you. There wasn't much on, just a lot of simplistic stuff that was more than likely contact information should anything else come up or should they need another visit. A deadpan slapped across your face, wishing that it was this easy for humans, too; but, right now, you shook that thought off and tried to focus on the brothers. 

It was obvious the two were scanning the vicinity for any signs of a threat or danger, but all they say was a bubbling fish tank in the corner and a rounded coffee table with a fat stack of magazines strewn across it. The inside looked like every stereotypical dentist's office, but you don't know if they've ever seen one. Monsters usually didn't have to have checkups or appointments - something you had discovered while trying to set some up - like this, which meant they probably didn't have anything of this variety Underground. 

You didn't get much longer to brew on those thoughts as a door creaked open, screeching noisily across the hardwood floorboards. All three of your heads angled in that direction, seeing a completely different nurse than before - this time a monster. He owlishly blinked, his calico cat ears perking up slightly on the top of his head as his blue eyes examined your group carefully. 

"Teddy?" his call came out in a very unsure manner, the weird expression plastered across his features softening only _after_ Teddy waved in response to his name, "They're ready to see you." You stood up, smiling brightly to the nurse, and then turned towards the brothers. Mittens' movements were sluggish and hesitated, but he did pull himself up on his feet. Teddy, on the other hand ... 

"Come on, hun, it's gonna be okay," extending a hand out towards Teddy's frame - which was frozen stiff - and leaning closer, your voice dropped lower into a whisper, "I'll hold your hand the entire time, 'kay? The doctors will take care of you, too." Teddy stared at your hand for a long time, almost like he was debating whether or not to take it, but finally relented with a nervous laugh. 

"YES! YES, I KNOW," came out really rushed as he basically harpooned himself into the air and laced his phalanges with yours, "THE DENTIST. FIXED TEETH. RIGHT ... NOW." His grip tightened momentarily, relaxed, and then tightened again. You tried not to frown, but you couldn't help but feel your face twinge slightly. Softly shaking your head and etching a grin into your features, you gingerly tugged on his hand to pull him towards the nurse. 

"Yeah, that's right," you muttered, "and they'll take good care of you; they'll make your teeth feel better." You could hear Teddy's bones rattling and his jaws clattering together, and even with the slight guilt of thinking that he won't be able to handle it, he never let go of your hand. 

Once your trio side-stepped past the cat nurse that politely held the door open with his extended palm and head of his shoe, the brothers wasted no time in observing _everything._ Their heads poked into every room, nook, and cranny; taking note of all the machinery, people, tools, smells, and possible exits in case they needed to bolt. You were impressed by their keen eyesight and their sharp movements through their fear, even if it was short-lived as the walk to the appointed room was quite brief. 

The nurse paused in front of a door about five down, gesturing inside a hand motion and an animated blink of his big eyes. You thanked him, walked in with the brothers, and looked around. One of those weird reclining chairs was in the center, the bright light angled overhead and turned away at the moment, with a tiny table filled with various cleaning tools placed in an orderly fashion. A couple of plastic seats were in the corner, but you noticed a vague slate blue aura surrounding their outer rims as they soundlessly floated just a few inches off the ground to the main chair. The nurse didn't comment on that as he rounded the dentist's chair, pat the surface of it happily, and plopped down into the four-pegged rolling chair by the table. 

"You sit there," you stepped in time with Teddy over towards the chair, noticing that he was going stiff again and his movements seemed very mechanical. The atmosphere of the room felt heavy as he awkwardly plopped onto the leather cushioning; every noise highlighted by the silence, which made it worse. You winced as he clumsily splayed himself elongated along the top, but you tried so desperately hard to keep your smile up. 

Teddy was way too tall for the chair; legs dangling off almost halfway up to his knees and his arms flopped down by the sides. Your grip on his hand tightened as it seemed all of you realized that it was going to be uncomfortable to sit like that for a while. The nurse's eyes skimmed up and down his body before he hummed, reaching over to the side of the chair and pressing random buttons. 

"I'll adjust the seat so you can be flatter," he stated, "and I'll bring in a stool that you can prop your feet on after I finish examining your mouth, if you would like." Teddy's skull nodded vigorously as the chair emitted strange whirring noises as it unfurled and straightened out, which was yours and Mittens' cue to take your seats opposite of the nurse. Before long, Teddy was settled in and the nurse was fingering through the various tools. Once the nurse had grabbed a dental mirror and started leaning towards Teddy's mouth, you swore that the softest of growls rumbled deep within Mittens' throat. 

The nurse, momentarily startled, paused and met Mittens' leer, "no need to worry, sir! This is just to so that I can see all the little details of his teeth." What followed next was a very tense pause where Mittens looked like he was about to start shredding through the room; finally, though, he, fortunately, stopped growling and stilled. His gaze didn't waver, however. 

You heaved out a sigh of relief, glad that nothing too bad seemed to be happening before refocusing your attention on the nurse's movements. He managed to coax Teddy into spreading his maw wide open, clink his metal tools against the teeth, and then thoroughly examine every tooth. The nurse's features were grim, but he stayed positive as he informed your group that braces would be required. 

"We'll shave each quadrant down," he retrieved the mirror and settled it back onto the table, "then a brief cleaning before we apply braces. Before we knew what we were dealing with, we thought it would be several appointments - _but_ if we don't do it all in one go, more damage may be done." The nurse explained in his calmest voice as he pushed the squeaky wheels back and stood, glancing Teddy over one last time. 

"That shouldn't be too big of a deal," you responded, praying that it _wouldn't,_ "Right, guys?" Neither Mittens nor Teddy said anything for a few seconds, but eventually they curtly nodded and stared after the nurse. He then left, satisfied with the responses, leaving the three of you alone. Teddy's skull angled over to the side to look directly into your eyes, a slightly fearful expression laced through his features and several faintly orange tears pooling at the ducts of his eye-sockets. Your heart bottomed out in your stomach. 

"AND YOU SAID THAT THIS WOULDN'T HURT TOO BAD?" his voice cracked slightly at the end and you knew that he wasn't laying down in the dentist's office anymore. Teddy's mind was returning him to a time where his teeth had originally been destroyed, to a time where it hurt to chew or to speak - to a time back home. 

"It's going to feel more uncomfortable than anything," you explained, pointing to your mouth, "they'll probably give you some medicine to numb your mouth before they start putting in the braces. It's just going to be weird holding your mouth open for so long, that's all. I promise." You squeezed his hand for reassurance, offered a shy smile, and then started rubbing small circles onto the back of his metacarpus. 

"OH ... THAT'S IT?" He asked, still unsure, but stopped rattling as bad whenever you nodded. 

"Yes," you chirped, "and then your teeth will feel better in no time." Teddy didn't say anything, but he returned the grip on your hand - while Mittens suddenly laced his digits with yours - once the cat nurse and some brand new human doctor reappeared in the threshold. 

The human dentist seemed pleasant enough, with a cheerful grin spread up his rosy cheeks and constantly giving the three of you thumbs up before he did anything. You watched as the nurse slid a rectangular stool underneath Teddy's feet before he pivoted around on his axis and began adjusting the light machine to a better angle for the main dentist. The duo tried to make small jests and jokes as this process started, but you were the only one who was really comfortable to laugh and give even a sliver of a reply. Both of the brothers were solid as all the flips were switched, whirring and the occasional thump being the only sounds in the room. 

You noticed that the nurse had retrieved a syringe filled with this weird glowing green and blue liquid that swirled around with one another but didn't mix, which made you assume it had something to deal with magic. It must be the monster equivalent to a numbing agent, so you didn't comment. The nurse poked it into several places in Teddy's mouth - after making him count backward each time so that he didn't accidentally panic - before placing it down, then shuffling around Teddy to hold both sides of his skull to keep it from accidentally jerking while the dentist shaved the teeth down.

Bits of bone marrow and dust fluttered around the room once the doctor began, which must have been morbid for both of the monsters in the room; neither of them freaked out, though. You internally shrugged as you held onto Teddy's hand, leaning back into your seat as you watched the whole process. 

It was almost like every other checkup once the shaving was finished; just the one device that sucked air and saliva through a clear tub, the little spigot device that squirted out water, the electric toothbrush, and that funky bubblegum tasting toothpaste. Teddy was _extremely_ dazed throughout this process, mindlessly looking around at his surroundings in awe and sometimes making a very off-handed quip that had no relevance to the task at hand. You couldn't help but giggle every time one of them pulled a device from Teddy's mouth and then he would start asking them how they even managed to find that in him - a comment that made Mittens' one orb bulge from its socket. 

Then, once they finished cleaning and drying his evened-down teeth, the dentist and nurse began gathering the tools for the braces to begin that. It was cool watching them apply this strange-looking glue to the teeth and setting the braces in place, trying to be as careful as possible and make sure they were correctly put in before they hooked in the archwires and rubber bands. 

Finally, they were done. 

In total, the whole ordeal took around five hours tops - which was the reason your group arrived so early in the day. Everyone was so nice as your group left, complimenting the woozy Teddy on his new teeth and scheduling a couple more checkups to ensure they healed correctly then with one to remove them. Your paperwork had been filed with no problem, so without any further delay, your group headed back out of the office to your car. 

Mittens was holding Teddy's other hand to help steady his lumbering figure, but Teddy seemed to have a different idea. His feet were shuffling around, hips swaying, and as happy as can be as he pranced to the shotgun seat. The drugs seemed to be really getting to him now, since he also spilled over himself as he all but flopped into your car. Mittens deadpanned, locking gazes with you for a moment, and sighed. 

"didn't realize they were gonna drug him up like that or else i would have been a more responsible older brother," he lazily and obnoxiously slid down into his seat once his side door was opened, arms crossed. You chuckled, stepping into the driver's side, and closed your door. 

"Well, I don't think it's bothering him all that much," to prove your point, both Mittens and you glanced at Teddy - who was currently sticking his head out the window while simultaneously trying to roll the window up, which caught on his upper row of teeth and tightly pressed his skull to the top of the window. All three of you started flailing your limbs.

"paps, wait, _bro!"_

"Honey, you just got those fixed!" 

Mittens leaned over the top of the seat, fumbling around for Teddy's hands to get them off the button that rolled the windows up. You, shrieking in a really high-pitched opera moan, flung yourself forward and tried to calm Teddy's flailing down. Mittens managed to roll the window down far enough that Teddy could remove his head; but, instead of releasing him, you gingerly cupped his face with both of your hands and made him face you. 

"Paps, I don't want you to hurt yourself," you sighed in relief, "so please try to refrain from doing much whenever you're under the influence." Teddy's expression was dopy, slightly love-struck, and goofy - but he smiled a brilliant smile and your whole world flipped upside down. 

You knew that whenever you first met him that if his teeth weren't so damaged that his smiles would have been the end of you, they were just so bright. But now, seeing him with his multi-colored braces and as happy as can be and with a slight tangerine blush powdering his cheekbones, you just underestimated how great his smiles could truly be. 

Speechless, staring at Teddy with wonder, you realized that you may finally be falling for them, too.

* * *

_Where were they?_

He could smell you. 

There was a momentary pause; a crackling, the sound of wood breaking. Sharp phalanges dug into bark, splintering and slicing across dusty bone. Heavy atmosphere seeped throughout the woods, silent and almost ominous as the figure crept along with the leaves - crawling and twisting and turning. Blood pounded inside of his skull, white orbs like small pinpricks. A look of insanity, a scent that buried its grubby little fingers deep into the crevices of one's mind. 

_Stars,_ he was **hungry.**

He could still smell you. 

Your honeydew scent seemed to be all over _everything_ in this neck of the woods. He couldn't escape it, couldn't get away from it ... not like he wanted to, anyway. One of his eye-sockets twitched, head lolling and rolling around on his vertebrae. An audible _pop!_ like a cork from a wine bottle. Foam and froth overflowing and spilling and falling and drowning and heavenly. He halted, nasal cavity angled towards the darkening skies as his skull tilted back ever so slightly. He whiffed, only a few times, but it was enough. 

Ah, found you. 

His movements were jerky, almost animalistic as he stalked forward on all fours. Metacarpus bulged forth, pointed nails ticking into the dirt, and left small pawprints. An azure blue tongue traced along the ridges of his teeth, huge globs of glowing drool bulbing and trickling down his jawline as he tasted the air. 

He followed along the flickering, colored scent trail. He could almost see you now, in his head. He could picture you with that look of fear on your face. He wanted to see every expression you could make. He wanted to see if you would like at him like the others. He **wanted** you. 

The trail skirted, flittering away and evanescing, at the edge of the woods. _No!_ It can't end like this; he hasn't found your SOUL yet. His dominant fist balled together, pounded into the ground while this threatening growl rippled from deep within his sternum. His bones were rattling, he was twitching. Not like this, not like this, not like this, not like this, _not like this, not like this, **not like this, not like this, not like -**_

**T h e r e.**

He almost missed it; but far out, just a few meters from the end, a different trail of the same color and scent flickered to life. It was old, sputtering in and out of existence as it almost fully faded away, but it would work. The gears started turned as he lurched forward, springing back up on two feet, as he stepped and stepped and stepped. His body was on auto-pilot, trying to appear just a normal as can be ... don't run, don't run, don't run. The trail will last long enough, don't draw any attention. It's going to be fine. 

Phalanges scraped against smooth bone again, itchy itchy itchy itchy itchy. He couldn't stop scratching his neck, his fingertips were nervous and twitching and vibrating as they dug into marrow. He _needed_ to **calm down.** He would be there soon enough, he'd know where you'd live, he'd know ... he'd know ... he'd. 

Just up ahead, the scent doubled - the trail brightened, like a beacon of hope. A smirk jerked at the corners of his mouth, giggly and breathless, as it stretched and stretched all the way past his cheekbones and almost to the ducts of his eye-sockets. His stomach grumbled, **hungry hungry hungry hungry.**

Soon enough, he found himself going through a nice-looking neighborhood. Quaint, lovely, peaceful, a place where there probably hardly any crime - the perfect place to start a _family._ Giggle, breathless again, don't attract any attention. Then, with a flash and heart irises, he saw your home. 

Up ahead, no cars in the driveway, and just looking to be ... **thoroughly** searched for any potential threats. He looked left and right, did it multiple times to ensure that no one was looking, and shortcut to your front door. His hands scrambled for his pockets, retrieved a tiny lock pick, and his deft hands made quick work of the keyhole. A _click!_ and the door basically pushed itself open. 

**_Everywhere! You were everywhere! E V E R Y W H E R E !_ **

He was hyperventilating, trying to memorize that scent, dizzy and lightheaded and high. He could have lost it right then and there, but he tried to maintain his composure as he all but stumbled through the threshold. His eyes scanned all of your belongings, trying to remember all of the little knickknacks and possessions that made up _you_ and your personality. The door was soundlessly pushed to and he stepped further in. 

He'd worried about all of that _later,_ he'd have eternity to get to know you. 

_Stars! Couldn't the hunger just_ **stop.**

His skull was shaking side to side, like a dog twirling their ears, he couldn't handle this. His arms were wrapped around his midriff, phalanges digging into his hips as he bent in the middle and cried out in agony. He'd just been so hungry lately, he just couldn't stop eating. Flesh, flesh, flesh. It was the only thing on his mind. 

Then, it hit him. 

It came creeping up to his nasal cavity, gingerly and delicately tiptoeing up to him like a slow and steady melody. It's wasn't your scent, it was underneath it. Underlining the scent, mixed with you. His body hobbled forward, shambling and drunk, and he found himself in the kitchen. 

Grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble. 

His stomach was turning knots, twisting up tightly like a soggy tourniquet, and he almost choked on nothing. He couldn't understand it; he heaved, bile and acid, nothing. He was hungry hungry hungry hungry, god - why was he hungry? Why now? This was his chance - he found your - ~~his soon to be mate's home~~ \- home. You weren't here; he was free to explore. Why'd the hunger have to hit him hardest now? 

That alluring smell, it called to him, made his feet move forward without him even thinking about it. He was struck by deja vu; the world a nightmare. Both of his shaky hands planted on both sides of your kitchen sink. He couldn't breathe, the world was sinking down on him, compressing him. Crush, crush, crush. 

Food, he could smell food, he couldn't contain himself. He groaned, eye-lights briefly rolling back into his head, and he reached forward. Just a little bit, the tips of his phalanges brushed against something. It was gooey, slimy, it was wet and cold. It smelled **_delectable._**

His hand forced its way down the drain, scooping up soupy water and chunks of stale food, and his eyes were wide. Staring, and imploring, crazy and crazy, he couldn't help it. Why could he still smell you? You, you, you. Saliva, honeydew, _food._

And with his maw wide, 

he took a bite. 


End file.
